New relationship moving too fast, he says.

[LittleJ]

Hey LS Followers,

 

I need some advice. Sort of. So i met a fantastic man about a month ago. We met online, then met in person for about 4 wonderful dates. We kissed on the second, fooled around on the 3rd and slept together on the 4th. For the 5 dates onward, I spent a friday night over at his place where he made me a fantastic dinner and showed me his art which he has poured his heart and soul into over the last few years. On saturday morning, I took him out to breakfast, browsed a farmer's market and then headed back to my place to get ready for a friend's wedding he agreed to attend with me. He charmed the crowd, treated me like gold this entire time. We got back to my place for more wonderful lovemaking and showering each other with physical attention. He leaves on Sunday morning to go to work. I felt like I was falling in love.

 

We didn't talk for the rest of that Sunday, but in typical fashion, early Monday morning he sends me a cute text, wishing me a wonderful day. We had a little flirty text conversation and then I asked him when we could see each other again. He said, How about Thursday (4 days away) I said, "Do I have to wait that long? He responded, "it's only 4 days!" I responded "But I really like you!" He responded, "I have this tendency to move really fast and I'm trying to stay conscious of this and slow things down a little." I write, "I understand, and I too have this tendency to rush things. I really like you and while excited about this, am also nervous because I really like you." He writes, "I like you too. I just want to take this step by step and not get ahead of ourselves." I then thanked him for grounding me (although I admit, I was totally disappointed). We didn't talk the rest of the day (which is somewhat unusual). This morning I get this great text, "Hope you have a great day. Thinking of you."

 

From a guys point of view, is this all a good thing? I'm just confused. Why slow down after an amazing weekend and sex? I mean, I understand slowing down, but I just wonder, why? What happened to make him lose his momentum? I definitely showered him with more and more compliments as that weekend progressed, but damn, I was feeling it and couldn't keep it to myself! Why should I have to?

 

So do I have anything to be worried about or is this overall a good thing? Ids he wanting to slow down because he's into it and doesn't want to screw it up, or does he want to slow it down because something happened over that amazing weekend to change his mind?

 

We're both in our mid thirties, are dating exclusively but have not committed to a flow blown relationship. Thoughts?

[xpaperxcutx]

I one read this great saying ' you're not really together until ylhe makes u his". Basically if he havent made you his girlfriend, why are you acting like one? Sometimes when you succumb to emotions yiu forget that you have a life without him. If you are .already attached at the hips, he will probably be content with the status quo- a gf without a title. Take a step back and let him lead. if he is really interested there won't be any doubt to suggest he'll disappear. In fact, if you are really worth it, he will chase you until he makes u his.

[KatZee]

Yeah, I agree. It's been like 4-5 dates and you're already acting like you're his girlfriend. You're NOT.

 

How much can you really even know about him in 4 dates anyway? I think the whole thing pretty much just took off like a rocket, and it's those relationships that fizzle the fastest. I don't really see any "getting to know you" period. You met, 2nd date you made out, 3rd you're having sex... 4th you're asking to see him so frequently.

 

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but what happened to just establishing a foundation and being a friend first before you start adding sex into it? That's just going to complicate things because just as fast as you've started having sex, he could turn around and be like... ehhhh we're not really connecting.

 

I don't think after 4 dates you need to be seeing him multiple times a week... keep the options open, especially if he's just having sex and not talking about long term potential... but again... how can you even know if someone is long term potential after meeting 4-5 times.

[threebyfate]

Back off a bit LittleJ, you're scaring him off with too much intensity by showering him with compliments and then demands after such a short period of knowing each other.

 

You haven't discussed exclusivity and have already slept with him. In this day and age of multi-dating which appears to have morphed into multi-sleeping around, he might also be seeing others.

[venusianx13]

I have a different view. I don't think anything happened to change his mind about you, I just think he realized that he needs to break the habit of rushing into things. This is actually a good thing. Now, if he were to stop initiating contact, my answer would be different. If he gave you a wishy-washy answer about when you could see him next, I'd see more cause for concern. Four days is not all that long in the grand scheme of things. But I suggest letting him ask YOU when he can see YOU again the next time... this way you're letting him take the reigns and move the relationship at a pace that is comfortable for him. No cause for concern, he's just trying to go about things wisely.

[writergal]

Wow. So you're both in your mid-30s and you slept together after only a few dates? And I think it was a huge mistake for you to take him to your friend's wedding without really knowing each other.

 

My experience/belief is that men don't respect women who sleep with them after just a few dates. Rarely does this sort of thing lead to long term relationships.

 

And since you're in your mid-thirties, have you two ever talked on the phone? I know texting is a younger generation's communication choice, but the phone is a much better tool to use when getting to know someone because meaning isn't misconstrued as often as it can be with text messages.

 

You're not in a relationship with this guy, nor are you his girlfriend. You are a woman he's slept with, whom he now is slowly backing away from, because you both jumped into the sack together way too soon.

 

Slow down. Don't play games with him. But be honest with yourself about why you let this happen. Is this your typical dating pattern - sex too soon? Or does that only happen occasionally? What do you want out of dating? A relationship? Just sex?

 

I know when you really click with someone chemistry-wise, especially physical chemistry, the temptation to have sex right away is strong. But sleeping together skews the dating process - always has, always will. Don't put the cart before the horse next time and try to date for at least 3 weeks to 1 month before you sleep with a guy again.

 

I hope this guy gives you a chance, but not before you address the sex-too-soon elephant in the room and not via text messaging, but on the phone or in person. Once you can really talk about why this happened, and about what you want and he wants, then you can move forward and see if it works out. But don't sit back and let him call the shots here. He jumped in the sack with you too soon as well. And if this is his pattern, he's most likely a serial dater or casual sex-kinda guy. Do you even know if he's had long term relationships? If not, I'd let this one go, and go back into the dating world until you find a man who is going to take things more slowly.

[LittleJ]

Thanks for the feedback so far,

 

To be clear, i've made no demands on him and up until his comment about taking it slow, we have been on the same page. We met online and I decided to take my profile down, but made no mention of this to him because I wanted to offer him the freedom to keep dating if he felt he wanted to. He chose to take his profile down on his own, and even expressed feeling good that we were both on the same page. I asked what it meant that we both took our profiles down and he said "I've gone on other dates, but kept thinking about you. It means neither of us are looking right now." That was great for me to hear. We are on the same page.

 

We've been on more than 4-5 dates...probably up to about 10 or 11 now and it's been about a month. I'm not asking for commitment just yet.

 

I agree that perhaps I could back off a bit and keep my emotions to myself (or unleash them to friends) and that yes, that could've been a bit overwhelming. I have not been the one making any demands. He's been asking me out all these times. This was the first time I asked him. What can I say? I'm so into him and excited. It's a natural part of new relationships. I should probably reign it in a bit, but really wanted to know if his taking it slow was a signal that he wanted it to work, or a signal that he's about to take off.

[LittleJ]

Wow. So you're both in your mid-30s and you slept together after only a few dates? And I think it was a huge mistake for you to take him to your friend's wedding without really knowing each other.

 

My experience/belief is that men don't respect women who sleep with them after just a few dates. Rarely does this sort of thing lead to long term relationships.

 

And since you're in your mid-thirties, have you two ever talked on the phone? I know texting is a younger generation's communication choice, but the phone is a much better tool to use when getting to know someone because meaning isn't misconstrued as often as it can be with text messages.

 

You're not in a relationship with this guy, nor are you his girlfriend. You are a woman he's slept with, whom he now is slowly backing away from, because you both jumped into the sack together way too soon.

 

Slow down. Don't play games with him. But be honest with yourself about why you let this happen. Is this your typical dating pattern - sex too soon? Or does that only happen occasionally? What do you want out of dating? A relationship? Just sex?

 

I know when you really click with someone chemistry-wise, especially physical chemistry, the temptation to have sex right away is strong. But sleeping together skews the dating process - always has, always will. Don't put the cart before the horse next time and try to date for at least 3 weeks to 1 month before you sleep with a guy again.

 

I hope this guy gives you a chance, but not before you address the sex-too-soon elephant in the room and not via text messaging, but on the phone or in person. Once you can really talk about why this happened, and about what you want and he wants, then you can move forward and see if it works out. But don't sit back and let him call the shots here. He jumped in the sack with you too soon as well. And if this is his pattern, he's most likely a serial dater or casual sex-kinda guy. Do you even know if he's had long term relationships? If not, I'd let this one go, and go back into the dating world until you find a man who is going to take things more slowly.

 

He's very much a relationship guy, has slept with minimal people, and has no interest in casual sex. He was married once for about 5 years, then in a 3.5 year relationship after that. I too am a relationship girl. My last one was 10 years long.

 

We've spoke on the phone, yes but the texts are sweet little notes and flirts throughout the day. Nothing too serious. The most serious are the ones I posted about going slower.

 

Our first 5 dates were all about talking and getting to know each other. Kisses here and folling around there, but the majority of the time was talking. Lots of it. We both learned a ton about each other. Every date we have we learn a lot about each other. It's not just like Hi, lets have sex, Bye. Not at all. The relationship actually feels really good and I'm not regretful to have slept with him after 5 dates. We were on the s

ame page and we both just ran with it.

[writergal]

^Well you said in your original post that you and he slept together on date 4. That's waaaay too soon. Doesn't matter that you've been together for 11 dates. Now he wants to slow things down, despite having told you conflicting information that he doesn't want to date other women, and wants to focus on you. Either he has met someone else and doesn't know how to back out of dating you, or he may not see you as serious relationship material.

 

The few times that your situation happened to me, the "fling" I'll call it, burnt out as fast as it started, with the guy giving me the "we moved to fast" speech, which is really code for "I'm just not that into you anymore but I'm too much of a coward to tell you because I don't want to feel the guilt it would cause me."

 

ETA: This happened to me with the last guy I dated. We met through an online dating website and waited til date 5 to sleep together. By week 3, he was proposing marriage, by week 7, he broke up with me, citing the "we're moving too fast" b.s. when in reality he was cheating on me with his female co-worker, dating her behind my back (the same woman he cheated on his wife of 8 years with, and why she divorced him - I got the truth from him last year, 2 years after we stopped dating). So you don't really know why this guy wants to slow things down if he wants to be with you and not date anyone else. It's not right for him to want to slow down if you're the one he wants to date. He wouldn't need to slow things down with you, is what I'm saying.

 

I hope that I'm wrong in your case. I really do. But this scenario is all too familiar as far as the outcome of no relationship happening.

 

Sure you could strategize, minimize your own gushing feelings for this guy by keeping them to yourself, or venting to your friends. But do you do that when you're in a healthy, long term relationship? Nope. Why? Because when the guy isn't feeding you b.s. like "we're moving too fast and need to slow things down" he's so into you that your gushing feelings validate his gushing feelings and the two of you are like lusty teens at a football game.

 

Anytime you find yourself having to compromise or strategize your feelings, or behavior to keep a guy's interest...well, you're wasting yourself on the wrong guy.

 

When it's right, it's natural and there's no reason to minimize your feelings or actions to keep your guy, because he won't be making excuses to distance himself from you, the way this guy is.

 

I would never continue dating a guy when I felt like I suddenly had to edit myself, play games or put the ball in the guy's court (never a good idea anyway).

Edited August 22, 2012 by writergal

[truth_seeker]

I think this goes for both men and women: when someone tells you things are going too fast, that usually means they want out.

[writergal]

I think this goes for both men and women: when someone tells you things are going too fast, that usually means they want out.

 

Totally agree.

 

If he wants to be with you, OP, he wouldn't need to slow things down. There's no excuse he can give to slow things down that's justifiable. You've already slept together and you can't go backwards, but only forward at this point.

[LittleJ]

Totally agree.

 

If he wants to be with you, OP, he wouldn't need to slow things down. There's no excuse he can give to slow things down that's justifiable. You've already slept together and you can't go backwards, but only forward at this point.

 

But I'm just not getting that "I want out" vibe. He's still communicating with me, and I just got flirty texts and inquiries to how my day had been. Could he really just mean what he says?? We still have plans for Thursday too.

 

I'm thinking it might just want to "do it right" and not "do it fast". Maybe he does want this to work?

[ffw]

But I'm just not getting that "I want out" vibe. He's still communicating with me, and I just got flirty texts and inquiries to how my day had been. Could he really just mean what he says?? We still have plans for Thursday too.

 

I'm thinking it might just want to "do it right" and not "do it fast". Maybe he does want this to work?

 

OP, there are no set of rules. Every relationship is different & the people involve in it are different too. Back off a little bit, as you have already released it.

 

You will know with time. Hope everything works out well.

[writergal]

Hmm. Yeah, his still texting you doesn't mean much to me. My previous "we're moving to fast" fling texted me multiple times a day, called me multiple times during a week out of town when he went home to visit his family, and spent every day with me for 7 straight weeks. We had keys to each other's apartments, and were around each other ALL the time. Talk about moving too fast. He fed me all the "I just want to be with you," "you're the one," etc. lines and I believed him. We were both 38 at the time. I believed him. Why wouldn't I? Boy was I wrong!

 

In the end, he was cheating on me the entire time we dated, and even lied to me about it when I caught him at home on a day he said he would be at the gym. When I asked him what he was doing home, he said he had a date with his female coworker friend to meetup for coffee talk. When I confronted him about this "date" and why he didn't mention it to me, he deflected, stating that I was paranoid and invited me to come along. Well, he invited me because he knew that I couldn't go since I had my grad school class at the time he was to meet her. There were other things that happened, but "Do it right" has no time table, no limits.

 

You say you're not getting that "I want out" vibe. Yet he's told you that he tends to rush into relationships that most likely fizzle out, and he's told you that he wants to slow things down. Those are code for "I want out."

 

But if you believe he wants to make this work, then believe him but be wary about the whole "slow things down" request because people who really like each other don't do that. They just go, go, go when it's completely right.

 

My fling didn't last because he wasn't the right guy and was cheating on me. Clearly your guy isn't cheating on you (that you know of), but I hope I'm wrong about his true intentions.

 

Do you want this to work with him? Don't give him all the benefit of the doubt. Don't give him all the control here. Be assertive with what you want as far as time spent together, etc. and see how he responds. You've already slept together and so there's no going backwards as far as setting the pace. The pace has been set...things are heating up, moving fast. To slow it down is to end it.

 

If you "back off" as some posters are telling you, that's the wrong move in my opinion. Because by backing off you're compromising yourself. There's no such thing as slowing down a relationship after you've slept together. That's just a line of b.s.

Edited August 22, 2012 by writergal

[KatZee]

But I'm just not getting that "I want out" vibe. He's still communicating with me, and I just got flirty texts and inquiries to how my day had been. Could he really just mean what he says?? We still have plans for Thursday too.

 

I'm thinking it might just want to "do it right" and not "do it fast". Maybe he does want this to work?

 

This really doesn't mean all that much.

 

I met a guy last week and we've been on two dates. Already he's moving too fast for me, and I realize I'm just not as into it as he is, so I'm going to have to drop the "It's moving too fast, and I need to slow it down" just like this guy did to you.

 

I'm still in contact with this guy as well. I'm still asking general questions like "how was your day." I consider myself to be a genuinely nice person, so to merely be friendly doesn't necessarily mean I'm still interested on THAT level.

[snowflakes88]

HHe said, How about Thursday (4 days away) I said, "Do I have to wait that long? He responded, "it's only 4 days!" I responded "But I really like you!"

 

Yikes. That would have made me want to back off too.

[chphan]

I'm still in contact with this guy as well. I'm still asking general questions like "how was your day." I consider myself to be a genuinely nice person, so to merely be friendly doesn't necessarily mean I'm still interested on THAT level.

 

 

Geez thanks. Now you have me doubting my situation because you just describe it perfectly on how she's behaving with "how was your day".

 

Where are you from?

[Leigh 87]

At the end of the day, no one on here can say with 100% certaintly that this guy is not that into you.... Only he knows this.

 

However, the " too fast too soon" thing can obviously be a very bad sign, according to a couple of peoples experiences. Another thing to consider, though, is that SOME people truly do mean what they say they mean.

 

What write girls says makes a lot of sense and would apply to a lot of situations, but it may NOT apply to yours! Why leave this guy because you assume the worst?

 

If you really like this guy, and are prepared to potentially get hurt in the process of finding lasting love; go for it! Just do so knowing that lie many men before him, your guy MAY have said to slow things down for the reasons write girl outlined.

 

Personally, I am prepared to get hurt along the way, and will not hold back if I get hurt once or twice or even more... I believe in going for things if they feel good, unless the guy gives me a very good reason to think he is being disingenuous.

 

How to deal with the too fast too soon spiel..... Well, personally if I like a person, I do not want to slow down or play by any rules.... I just do it if it feels right. I was living with my partner after 6 - 7 months. We were not wanting anything serious either; we just did it. It felt good. We did not stop to really think about it.

 

Remember, not every guy is the same! If your unsure about it, ask him! If he is truly into you, he will have no issue talking you through his thought process....

Just drop something simply and to the point, such as " look, if we get along so well, I am a little confused as to why you would want to hold off? I believe life is short, and if your really into someone, you shoud just do things you feel like"

 

" If your just not into me, please just tell me so I can better spend my time being available to a guy who is"

 

 

 

 

 

I am really open and honest about my feelings and do not beat around the bush.. If I came online, and was told that my guy was saying things that were classic of a guy who is just not that into me, I would approach my guy with it!

If he wants to keep you , he will not get freked out...

 

Trust me - I was socially inept when I first met my guy, due to social isolation, on account of a serious mental illness. I had not been around people, and said and did sa few really off things.

I learnt that if a guy is into you, he will look past questions and guestures that may be deamed " psycho worthy".

For instance: telling a guy outright that you have a bad feeling about him saying _________ said thing________________ and you would just like open and honest clarification from him, is NOT being too psycho, although some people WILL say it is a little obsessive or full on to ask this guy about how he feels about what he said to you, this ealy on....

[vanek26]

I think people on this forum are generally a little cynical when it comes to this stuff. It makes sense though, most of us are on here because we're frustrated with the dating dynamic in some way. I'm no exception.

 

Still, I don't think your situation is that dire. The fact that he's still taking the time to send you these cute texts is a good thing. If a girl scared me off, I wouldn't go out of my way to contact her.

 

Just don't be upfront and ask him what he is feeling or whatever. I have no idea why people always suggest this... they must watch too much Disney Channel. If you put him on the spot like that, nothing good can come of it. Go with the flow and see how Thursday goes. If he ditches you, then you can press the panic button

[Leigh 87]

Also remember in general.. this is the hard part of a relationship, where your not entirely sure of what the situation is.. your not sure if your both into each other enough to want an official relationship, your not sure if this guy is all that into you, seeing as many guys come on hard and fast, only to pull back and realise your not the one...

 

This is that annoying time when you have to just sit back , enjoy your time together, and TRY to not be TOO heartbroken if he ditches you. Yes, you will get a shock and that bad heavy feeling that is awful - but you know, don't cry over it or anything.

 

Try to enjoy your time, without holding out high hopes just yet. Keep using self talk like " I am awesome, I will be fine no matter what, I will end up with a guy who loves me, so what if I get hurt along the way I will get over it"

 

Personally, I need to know within a month if they are exclusive and if they definately have high hopes to keep seeing me a lot. Not a future set in stone, but just to know your both only interested in getting to know each other better, and your not open to the idea of meeting other people.

 

good luck, please let us know how this pans out!

[kaylan]

I disagree with writergal. As a man, if I like a girl a lot, having sex soon or having sex later wont change how I feel about her (and other men will agree). 3rd date sex, 4th date sex or 7th date sex... Ill still like her a lot if I did initially.

 

What would bother me is a woman coming on so strong right away. And taking me to a wedding when I barely know you is a bit much. However, if I really liked you, I would enjoy your desire to see me a lot. It happens when you really click with someone.

[Leigh 87]

And OP - HEAPS of people tell me also, that sex on the first date even is not a deal breaker.. if you like someone you like them. If a person is that judgmental that they will disgard you because of sex o the first date, when they actually are really into you........... wait. That does not make sense actually...

 

I had sex with my partner on third date. Because we felt like it. Did not change our feelings.

[veggirl]

We had a little flirty text conversation and then I asked him when we could see each other again. He said, How about Thursday (4 days away) I said, "Do I have to wait that long? He responded, "it's only 4 days!" I responded "But I really like you!" He responded, "I have this tendency to move really fast and I'm trying to stay conscious of this and slow things down a little." I write, "I understand, and I too have this tendency to rush things. I really like you and while excited about this, am also nervous because I really like you." He writes, "I like you too. I just want to take this step by step and not get ahead of ourselves." I then thanked him for grounding me (although I admit, I was totally disappointed). We didn't talk the rest of the day (which is somewhat unusual). This morning I get this great text, "Hope you have a great day. Thinking of you."

 

Ouch. The "I have to wait til then?!" was a bad idea, it made you look clingy and needy. The "But I really like you!" made it worse!

 

Why would you be "totally disappointed" at the thought of going from Sunday to Thursday without seeing him?! I mean really you are only NOT seeing him Mon, Tues and Weds. You are getting too invested too quickly. He gave you his ENTIRE weekend and then you whine that you wanna see him sooner?! That's how it came across to him, I'm sure.

 

From a guys point of view, is this all a good thing? I'm just confused. Why slow down after an amazing weekend and sex? I mean, I understand slowing down, but I just wonder, why? What happened to make him lose his momentum? I definitely showered him with more and more compliments as that weekend progressed, but damn, I was feeling it and couldn't keep it to myself! Why should I have to?

 

Why slow down? To keep some perspective. To make sure you are falling in love with the person, not the situation or the butterflies. He is trying to be realistic. You are trying to create a fairytale. One good weekend and fluttery feelings inside does not mean you guys are in love.

 

He's not losing his momentum, he is being a mature adult who is trying to cultivate a healthy relationship. You are coming off as a lovestruck teen or something. I mean, it's THREE DAYS without seeing him. Did you want him to be all "omg come see me tonight!" ?!

 

You REALLY need to be careful about moving too fast. Generally stuff that does that crashes and burns JUST as quickly.

 

Be more patient. Continue the life you lived WITHOUT him.

 

So do I have anything to be worried about or is this overall a good thing? Ids he wanting to slow down because he's into it and doesn't want to screw it up, or does he want to slow it down because something happened over that amazing weekend to change his mind?

 

We're both in our mid thirties, are dating exclusively but have not committed to a flow blown relationship. Thoughts?

 

I mean I don't know if you should be "worried" although you may have waived some red flags at him...he COULD be thinking you are clingy and desperate for a relationship now...but maybe not.

 

What you need to do is CHILL. Let him come to you. Don't ask him when you are hanging out next. Let him ask you. He KNOWS where you stand. Let him show you where HE stands now.

[LittleJ]

Ouch. The "I have to wait til then?!" was a bad idea, it made you look clingy and needy. The "But I really like you!" made it worse!

 

Why would you be "totally disappointed" at the thought of going from Sunday to Thursday without seeing him?! I mean really you are only NOT seeing him Mon, Tues and Weds. You are getting too invested too quickly. He gave you his ENTIRE weekend and then you whine that you wanna see him sooner?! That's how it came across to him, I'm sure.

 

 

 

Why slow down? To keep some perspective. To make sure you are falling in love with the person, not the situation or the butterflies. He is trying to be realistic. You are trying to create a fairytale. One good weekend and fluttery feelings inside does not mean you guys are in love.

 

He's not losing his momentum, he is being a mature adult who is trying to cultivate a healthy relationship. You are coming off as a lovestruck teen or something. I mean, it's THREE DAYS without seeing him. Did you want him to be all "omg come see me tonight!" ?!

 

You REALLY need to be careful about moving too fast. Generally stuff that does that crashes and burns JUST as quickly.

 

Be more patient. Continue the life you lived WITHOUT him.

 

 

 

I mean I don't know if you should be "worried" although you may have waived some red flags at him...he COULD be thinking you are clingy and desperate for a relationship now...but maybe not.

 

What you need to do is CHILL. Let him come to you. Don't ask him when you are hanging out next. Let him ask you. He KNOWS where you stand. Let him show you where HE stands now.

 

Oh geez...you just totally put this into perspective for me, and while I appreciate it, I'm almost mortified. I agree with you about the lovestruck teenager comment. It's how I feel. He must understand though, right? He said that he too has a tendency to rush things. The reason I would be disappointed is because well, I would! I like him. And I know it's not gonna kill me to wait three days. But it's what I was feeling in the moment. I think I just need to learn that i don't have to express every little detail to him. Do you think this is salvageable? Do I make mention of it?

 

Totally embarrassed and mortified. Gah.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

LittleJ, let him pursue you a bit. You are showering him with way too much attention and affection early on. From now on, be receptive to his but don't chase him. STOP giving him so many compliments too. I am seirous about this. You don't need to be complimenting him all the time.

 

Also, since he wants to take things slow now, only after sleeping with you, then you tell him that you agree that taking things slow is a good idea and that applies to sex too. Don't let him come back to you four days later expecting to get laid. If he wants you, he will understand and take his time.

 

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of men that only want to take things slow after then put a part of their body in a part of yours.

 

I am not ready to say this guy isn't interested. He is pulling back though. Let him pull back, give him his space, see what he does. And no more sleeping with him until you actually have something more solid to go on. He wanted to pull back, no problem. You pull back too. Emotionally and physically and take the time to really get to see what he is about.