veggirl Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Oh geez...you just totally put this into perspective for me, and while I appreciate it, I'm almost mortified. I agree with you about the lovestruck teenager comment. It's how I feel. He must understand though, right? He said that he too has a tendency to rush things. The reason I would be disappointed is because well, I would! I like him. And I know it's not gonna kill me to wait three days. But it's what I was feeling in the moment. I think I just need to learn that i don't have to express every little detail to him. Do you think this is salvageable? Do I make mention of it? Totally embarrassed and mortified. Gah. Awwww don't be embarrassed! Please! This happens to everyone but luckily you have realized it early on so that's good Whatever you do, do NOT bring it up again. Do not apologize. Pretend it never happened, pretend that text exchange didn't occur. Seriously act as though those texts never existed, let him do the asking a couple times and voila this will be not even a memory No worries, totally recoverable as long as you're chill for a bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleJ Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Awwww don't be embarrassed! Please! This happens to everyone but luckily you have realized it early on so that's good Whatever you do, do NOT bring it up again. Do not apologize. Pretend it never happened, pretend that text exchange didn't occur. Seriously act as though those texts never existed, let him do the asking a couple times and voila this will be not even a memory No worries, totally recoverable as long as you're chill for a bit. UPDATE: Everything is fine. He came by, clarified things, we are both totally on the same page moving ahead with healthy pacing. He wants this. I want this. Neither one of us want to make the same mistakes we've made in the past. He actually said that asking for space and slowing things down was hard for him but he's really trying to do the right thing this time around. He's totally into me, and just me, is not interested in dating anyone else and just wants to see where we go. He assumes that things look good for us and just wants to continue getting to know one another. Then we had great sex! Thanks for all of your support and perspecTives. This was helpful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 UPDATE: Everything is fine. He came by, clarified things, we are both totally on the same page moving ahead with healthy pacing. He wants this. I want this. Neither one of us want to make the same mistakes we've made in the past. He actually said that asking for space and slowing things down was hard for him but he's really trying to do the right thing this time around. He's totally into me, and just me, is not interested in dating anyone else and just wants to see where we go. He assumes that things look good for us and just wants to continue getting to know one another. Then we had great sex! Thanks for all of your support and perspecTives. This was helpful.Why would you have sex with this guy? I would have backed off, considering his unilateral braking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 My experience/belief is that men don't respect women who sleep with them after just a few dates. Rarely does this sort of thing lead to long term relationships. Your experience/belief is wrong. No self-respecting man will chase a woman who plays hard to get (which is especially pathetic for someone in her 30's...) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 UPDATE: Everything is fine. He came by, clarified things, we are both totally on the same page moving ahead with healthy pacing. He wants this. I want this. Neither one of us want to make the same mistakes we've made in the past. He actually said that asking for space and slowing things down was hard for him but he's really trying to do the right thing this time around. He's totally into me, and just me, is not interested in dating anyone else and just wants to see where we go. He assumes that things look good for us and just wants to continue getting to know one another. Then we had great sex! Thanks for all of your support and perspecTives. This was helpful. So you basically had sex with him after deciding to slow down because that's what he said he wanted. Apparently, he doesn't want to slow down anymore. I know I'm in the minority here, but he's flaky for telling you one thing (slow down the pace) then doing another (have sex with you, speeding up the pace). I don't see this lasting, esp. since he told you jumping in too quickly is a pattern he has. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 So you basically had sex with him after deciding to slow down because that's what he said he wanted. Apparently, he doesn't want to slow down anymore. I know I'm in the minority here, but he's flaky for telling you one thing (slow down the pace) then doing another (have sex with you, speeding up the pace). I don't see this lasting, esp. since he told you jumping in too quickly is a pattern he has. I'm with you writergal. He is flaky thus far. His actions don't match up to his words. Apparently, he only wants to slow down "emotionally", but having sex is A-Okay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I'm with you writergal. He is flaky thus far. His actions don't match up to his words. Apparently, he only wants to slow down "emotionally", but having sex is A-Okay. Yep! I'm with you on that Dischenchantedly Yours. Clearly this guy doesn't want to emotionally commit hence the "we need to slow things down yada yada" but hey sex, no problem continuing that! Oh brother! Link to post Share on other sites
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