CurlyIam Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Listen, the least Ican saytoyour defense is that you should be having sex with someone you feel like, not because your husband asks you too. Listen, tell the guy you cheated, tell him you don't feel like swingign and take it from there. Sinner is right, it's enough mess in your life as it is! Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 You aren't listening to us, so I am not going to repeat myself anymore. If you want to know more about swinging, goto http://www.swingersboard.com But you have SO many issues you need to fix in your life, swinging should be the last thing you are thinking about. LoveShack finally gets some meaningful competition. Thanks for the link, jm. I'll check it out for scientific purposes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexingtongirl Posted July 21, 2004 Author Share Posted July 21, 2004 No, I have ended that affair, and it will never ever happen again w/ him. We didn't go over there this past weekend nor this weekend, I have talked w/ my friend, but not with him. My husband wants to go and do this with people we don't know. I have alot a problems I need to fix before thinkg of anything like this. I'm just trying to do the right thing in this. i called him and told him we needed to talk more about this, I'm not sure I want to do this. He said ok. How messed up is this crap!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Lex, You have had a busy week. As sinner said, there is an outside chance that your guilt could be relieved by doing this with your husband. But you don't sound particularly enthusiastic about the whole idea. Kind of interesting how the polish of extra-marital sex dulls when all is above-board. I really have no advice to give as the subject has never been a serious discussion in my marriage, only a between us fantasy that would/could never happen. Do whatever you are comfortable with. I don't think this can possibly help anything in your current situation, but again, I don't truly know any of the players in this story and so opinions are at best generalization. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Originally posted by Grinning Maniac *laughs at supermom's reaction* What? I think she's a sharp lady and makes good points, as I said, but it just seems like she's always snapping at someone. Maybe that's just how I see it. Her post to jmargel was pretty rude, she even kinda put words in his mouth with that misquote. Anyway, back on topic? :eek: :eek: Alright, smiling nutcase, since I missed your "personal attack" before it was edited I won't comment on that-but I'd like to point out that YOU feel no need to stop snapping at members whose actions you don't agree with...I've seen you go off in quite a few posts. So pound sand. Back on topic. Lex, if you do decide to "swing" it's very hard to know that the person you "love" is sexually enjoying someone else with your permission. Harder than finding out the person you "love" sexually enjoyed someone else without permission? Probably not. You don't have to "swing" if you don't want to. That's the repetitive phrase on this thread at the moment. You're feeling very guilty, and you're not interested in boinking other people-this to me, means you are getting off mostly on the "mystery" and "forbidden excitement" an affair entails. If you feel that your guilt is pushing you towards giving your husband permission to swing, ask him to give you some time to relect and collect your thoughts and seek out a counsellor to speak with on your own. They'll be able to help you sort out your feelings. One day, you'll tell your husband. One day, he'll find out. You need to prepare yourself and fix whatever is making you not find your marriage exciting....that or leave him and be single. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Well...this is an interesting twist in the situation. Hey Lex...this is probably a long shot, but you don't think your husband is bringing up the swinging thing because he somehow found out about you and his friend, do you? It just struck me as odd how he was like "you don't do this with your friends". But I'm probably just reading too much into it haha. I wouldn't do the swinging thing if you're not comfortable with it. I agree with Spock that you need to figure out what's up with you first. The swinger issue could open up a whole new can of disfunction in this marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
johnnyl321 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 here's a thought to all of you players, or cheaters or whatever kind of "cute" name you want to come up with. let's make it clear. whores and a**h***s. plain and simple. i think if you cheat even once, that's it. don't ask for forgiveness and don't give it either. screw that. over 6 billion people on the planet and in front of your family and God, you SWEAR never to cheat and what happens. more than half of you all do and then go online and cry like children how it happened. what a pathetic excuse for humans. "oh he was so nice to me, not at all like my HUSBAND" or "my wife and i have been having trouble for a while, and this sweet girl i work with went with me for drinks and blah blah blah" Christ, do you ever listen to yourselves. next time you feel the need to get some strange, why don't you think how YOU would feel if your (in)significant other decided to cheat on you. how would you feel if you SAW your mother or dad cheating on the other? thats the problem. everyone wants their FEELINGS not to be denied. no wonder our country goes down the tubes. i'll take your petty replies if you like, but don't think you'll change my views about adultery. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 *buys Johnny a beer* Here, here. I can't understand it myself man. If you really want to see some craziness, go to The Other Woman forums. It's basically a place for people to BRAG about being in affairs and betraying their loved ones. Real classy joint. It makes me want to flush humanity down the toilet. http://www.gloryb.com Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 L, I am working on my M.A. in counseling psychology. I am not going to burn you at stake as many of these men are doing on this site, but you need to think about HOW you communicate on the internet so that others can "understand" exactly where you are coming from. Yes. There are some men who cheat and statistics tell us that MEN cheat moreso than women in marriages. The point is something deeper is going on here: Please get into therapy and find out. If you are suffering, take care of YOU first. STOP cheating and in fact, get some time alone to get some help. Netalia Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts