honey2005 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I think that was well said havNfun. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 That may be true medgirl, but the fact you're still chatting with him and bringing him meals is sending mixed messages. Try being friends with him after he's had some time to heal. If he threatens suicide, tell him you're hanging up and phoning the police. You do seem to be addicted to the drama of it, regardless of whether you like it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 HEy, people, she DID NOT kill anyone !IT was a moment of weakness. The dumper suffers a lot in the process, too, you know? So if you ever got dumped, and fell resenttoward the dumper, don't take it out on Medgirl! You gave in to temptation and went to see him. IT does not make you a horrible person. Not even a bad one.I think it is a pretty normal reaction - to want to see him, as it isalways hard to part with people you care for, even if you know (rationally) that they are not good in your life. So don't do it again - you have figured that out by now. It doesn't help you, him, or the situation. So keep it rational. Think about what you want on the long term! About who you want! And I most certainly do not agree to you moving out of state! Why? It's a big state, it's a big city and he should be able to take the heat! God, change the university for your career, get another job for it pays better, not because of another person, man or woman. I don't belive howyou allow this man, even if he's out of your life to influence it so greatly.... Don't let him push your buttons and toughen up, MEdgirl. IT's your life, your job, your school YOUR DECISION! So don't do anything stupid you that might regret later ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medgirl Posted July 21, 2004 Author Share Posted July 21, 2004 have you ever gotten dumped? If so you know how incredibly painfull and hopeless it feels - to have someone basically telling you that they would rather spend their entire lives w/out you than with you. It feels like a good friend died. havnfun it does hurt. It hurts for the person who has to do the dumping as well. Actually, do you know what hurts too? When your boyfriend who supposidly loves you tells you "F*** off" when he's in a bad mood or goes to Las Vegas with his friends for a day and doesn't call. Or maybe the times when he tells you to get the f*** out of his car because you got an instant message from a friend and he automatically assumes you're cheating on him when he's the one with all the female friends you've never even met. Yeah, it DOES hurt, and maybe that's why it makes this more difficult when he calls you over and over again acting like a completely different caring person after you've broken up when all you want to do is get away. All I know is that I want to get out AS SOON AS POSSIBLE and having him not letting go doesn't really help! As for me liking the drama, where exactly did you get that from? I've been trying to get out of this relationship for MONTHS now, and to have you people sit here and tell me that I actually ENJOY it? Whatever. Anyway, I haven't seen him for a week now. I don't call him, and I did end up having to go see a councelor. Now the biggest problem is being able to trust anyone ever again because I'm feeling pretty bitter about these relationships. Thanks to all of you who understand how ****ty it is when you live in a nightmare, you finally muster up the courage to get out, and all of a sudden YOURE a bad guy. Link to post Share on other sites
havNfun Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Thanks to all of you who understand how ****ty it is when you live in a nightmare, you finally muster up the courage to get out, and all of a sudden YOURE a bad guy well I certainly encourage you to keep the courage and to hang in there until life (and the situation) gets better. Clearly from reading your posts, this break up hasn't exactly been a cake walk for you either. But, realise that you hold all the power right now. He holds none-and his heart will make him pursue the relationship until it absolutely knows, point blank, that you are completely history. And his heart will not think this and allow him to leave you alone (making it easier on you) if you respond to him in anyway. Or maybe the times when he tells you to get the f*** out of his car because you got an instant message from a friend and he automatically assumes you're cheating on him when he's the one with all the female friends you've never even met. Yeah, it DOES hurt, and maybe that's why it makes this more difficult when he calls you over and over again acting like a completely different caring person after you've broken up when all you want to do is get away. Well he needs to learn some better communication skills for sure. It does sound like he may have some trust issues. Was he hurt in a previous relationship? or, did you cheat on him at some point? Are jealousy or mistrust related things what ussually make him misbehave? Is he a nice guy about most things accept times, like the instant message, when he gets paranoid about you cheating? If so, perhaps you wouldn't need to break up with him if you find some ways to more overtly re-assure him that you are committed. Sometimes when people have been betrayed in the past, it takes extra re-assurance for a while before they can relax and not freak out unnecesarily over jealousy etc. And I most certainly do not agree to you moving out of state! Why? It's a big state, it's a big city curly says this because she doesn't believe in committment and if you read her posts she always sides with the women. Getting out of the state is a great idea. Its not only the physical distance it would create - it would also increase the mental distance and emphasize the finality of the relationship. Not only do I think it would be better for him, but, it might be better for you to have a new fresh start as well.? Link to post Share on other sites
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