Author jennx Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 As foolish as it sounds after looking at the facts, I wanted to be with the OM full time when I presented the original post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennx Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Minnie, I think you are right. He doesnt want the responsibility that comes along with me. I need to heed his warning since he is "kind" enough to be up front about what kind of partner/person he is. Your points were all quite insightful. Link to post Share on other sites
Furious Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Minnie, I think you are right. He doesnt want the responsibility that comes along with me. I need to heed his warning since he is "kind" enough to be up front about what kind of partner/person he is. Your points were all quite insightful. You seem almost detached and ambivalent, and in a offhand way enjoying being nonchalant in your agreement to the advice given to you and then dismissing it, as if it goes in one ear and out the next. It seems as if you are determined to throw everything you have away regardless of what the cost will be. Is that what you really want? Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Reading the last page of this thread, I'll call a Stage Two and invite members to continue with on-topic and civil discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennx Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 If he were interested in some serious exclusivity, he wouldn't care that he is "inadequate". He would let love rule and willingly let you love him. He would be secure in his love for you and try to be a better person for you and your kids.* I thought about this today. It's true. He feels compelled to walk away from the relationship entirely because he can't have ALL of me. If you really loved someone, wouldn't you be willing to take any part of them as opposed to NONE of them? What I am hearing from him is "I want you, but you are crazy to want me back, so I will just walk away from the whole thing." That is total insecurity if I ever heard it. Link to post Share on other sites
truthbetold Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I thought about this today. It's true. He feels compelled to walk away from the relationship entirely because he can't have ALL of me. If you really loved someone, wouldn't you be willing to take any part of them as opposed to NONE of them? What I am hearing from him is "I want you, but you are crazy to want me back, so I will just walk away from the whole thing." That is total insecurity if I ever heard it. To answer this, absofreakinglutely not! I need to have mine, body, heart and soul as does he. Anything less will not do. So to summarize if I couldn't have it all, I rather be on my own albeit still happy because that comes from within. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennx Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Mmhh... My question came out wrong. That did sound bad. And you are right. Link to post Share on other sites
truthbetold Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Mmhh... My question came out wrong. That did sound bad. And you are right. Understand. But yes, you're right his statement of "you shouldn't want me back" is complete insecurity. My point was though that people who respect themselves don't "settle" for being second. To be second is settling for scraps, and people with self respect don't settle for someone's scraps, that's not love that's being pathetic and needy and insecure. Self respecting people would rather be alone than in a fake relationship, it doesn't really enter the radar anymore. Because again, happiness comes from within. So either you're happy with yourself and your life as a whole, or not. But external things will never fill that hole if you are unhappy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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