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I'm a snoop! Whats your opinion?


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While I was snooping through some of my boyfriends photo albums I found some disturbing things. I feel bad for looking at his albums without permission, but I didn't think it was a big deal and I admitted it to him. He was irked but forgave me. What's bothering me is while looking through these albums, I discovered things about his past, and to my surprise, found out he has been lying to me. He told me that while he was in a foriegn country, he had no relations with any other women...didnt' even kiss anyone...on the contrary, I found photos of him with what appears to be a girlfriend...based on my judgement. This isnt' any of his ex's he's mentioned. Also, I found a letter he'd kept which indicated that she was moving to the states to be with him...this was dated shortly before we met. I want to confront him, but I already feel bad for being a snoop. What bothers me most is I specifically asked him about other women spending his time there, and he lied deliberatly. Now I'm wondering if he's lying about the number of women he's slept with, etc. I promised I would stay out of his past, but this is driving me nuts! Even when I confront him about the situation he lies and I know he is...what are your opinions?

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Olivia_19742004

You can't make someone stop lying. Decide if what he's lying about is important enough to re-evaluate the relationship. If they are trivial things that you can ignore and everything else is fine then forget them. You can confront him but you said he lies to you anyway. So what options do you have? Not many, really. Does it matter how many women he's been with? Does it matter if he had a relationship before you? Have him tested for STDs, use a condom until you do and decide to start a relationship from today and not from before you knew him.

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I think lying is a big problem, don't get me wrong. But you said this all was BEFORE you met. You have to evaluate how important his history is to you.

 

I'm not sure how long you two have been together, but keep that in mind. I have been with my bf for 3 years, and I snooped around occasionally for the first year (pictures, letters, etc.) I found out some things that he didn't want me to know. The whole point?-- He didn't want me to know. What happened in the past is just that--the past. We all have a past. We can't change it.

 

Even if it was a girlfriend in those pictures, it shouldn't cause you to question the whole relationship unless there are other CURRENT issues that you KNOW he is lying about. Try to live in the present. Don't cause an arguement over something that shouldn't matter to your relationship with him now.

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