Oddone Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Most of what I've been reading is about failure of not just a marriage but of relationships started while one or both are married or in relationships. I have been separated for almost 2 years now, having met someone while married who was also in an unhappy relationship. I immediately left my wife, legally separated and was alone for 4 months, though I was in touch with the OW by phone and e-mail, until she moved across the country to be with me. I guess my problem is that because most of what you hear about is the failure of such relationships, I find myself, like now, questioning how this worked out, am I am a bad person and pondering how I've made this work and if it will come crashing down? I do find being away from my two young children difficult ( I see them every second weekend and for some holidays and vacation) and my ex, though admittedly civil, has taken to spending time with my family by visiting with my sisters who don't speak to me and my parents from time to time. It makes me angry though I wish it wouldn't and I get angry at my family for maintaining a close rapport with her. Am I the only one that thinks that's weird? Ultimately, I think I did the right thing but I still struggle with the fact that society frowns on how I did this. I also feel the awkwardness of being in an untraditional "family" with my gf, children and having to maintain a rapport with my ex to make it all work. I feel for my children having thrust them into this place where we are all unfamiliar. I love them very much and in my heart I wish that I could have given them a traditional family life with their mother. But, I just was not happy. I probably could have made things work and I get the sense that my family really feels that I should have toughed it out and stayed with my ex. Sometimes, for the kids sake, I wish I could have too. Then I feel bad for my gf for feeling this way, because I am in effect regretting that I met this wonderful women who quite frankly adores me and can't stand to be apart from me. I know my ex loved me in her own way. I know she did not want me to leave and that I broke her heart in doing this. I hope that some day she'll find herself in a better place the one we were in. She'll always be the mother of my children and I'm not about to try to erase that. I guess I'm wondering if I am as "alone" in this type of situation as I feel at times. It is tough financially to manage in a sense two households as my ex does not presently work. Though I am probably in the best financial position I've ever been in my life. Anyone else have stories to share about coping in this similar scenario? Any advice? How can I become more comfortable in my new environment? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Oh my goodness!! A MM!! Posting!! Well, before anyone gets on here and bashes you, let me say that you did the right thing by separating from one relationship for the sake of the other. You were honest. Kudos to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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