woodstok Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Ok so my ex and i have been broken up now for a little over a month and at first it was very hard on me as it was her who broke up with me, i later found out she met some new guy and dated him for a while. Lately we have been talking more often on the phone although we dont talk about our relationship or about our personal life. She calls me at times because her day was bad so she can talk since i always listen and she knows i will help her. When i ignore her for a few days and not talk to her she calls or texts messages me with "i havent talked to you in a while, i hope you have a good day, love you" its what she will send to me in the mornings before i go to work. Anyways what do you guys think, i belive there is a chance as we both talk and when we get off the phone we tell each other "i love you" and we have hung out maybe like twice since the break up and both time we kisses and messed around although we did not have sex because she said she did not think it would be right, it would confuse her more and she told me lets just take things slow and let time do its thing like when we first met. So what do you guys make of this? I truly love this girl and i am in no way begging her back, when we broke up i did tell her i thought i deserved a second chance, and the relationship would be a million times better since we both realized mistakes we had made. But i also told her i was not guranteeing her that i would be here if she returned. One other thing is we have a trip coming up in a few months that may be when we get back together. but what should i do in between this time? Pleas help, any advice would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Why don't you talk to her about this? She's telling you she loves you, so I would assume she'd be open to a frank discussion about where the two of you are heading. You don't have to beg and you shouldn't. If she says she doesn't want *that* sort of relationship with you anymore, then you'll have your answer. On the other hand, she could be realizing that she made a mistake breaking it off with you (you mentioned another guy -- he could have been the reason -- greener pastures and all that) and is wondering herself if there's any way to fix this. Communication is the key... Link to post Share on other sites
Author woodstok Posted July 17, 2004 Author Share Posted July 17, 2004 Thank you for your response and yes your right communication is key. the problem i have is she asked me for time, space, and the whole nine because she was not sure what she wanted right now, i did ask her were i stood and she really did not say much except that right now she did not want a relationship. She is not the type to be able to commnicate how she feels easily so i know that is why she has not said much because its hard for her to express her feelings. I think sure this guy had something to do with it as she may have thought the grass was greener on the other side, although if it was, i would think she would stop contact with me and not act at times like we are still a couple. When i avoid her calls or i dont call her for a long period of time, she quickly writes me a message or calls to say "hi, have not heard from you in a while, have a good day, love you", that type of stuff. So it confuses me, when we talk on the phone we have long conversations but i never talk about what is going on with us or that i want her back as i dont want to pressure her and give her time and space like she asked. Also i dont want to blow my chances by talking about it to soon. She has told me she was so thankful that i am so understanding to her needs and i guess i just dont know what to do from here. I dont want to speak to soon about getting back together or even asking her if there is a chance but i also feel if i dont let her know maybe she will think i dont want to and she wont speak up. Should i just give it more time and like i said we do have a trip coming up in a few months so maybe then we can talk, what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Yeah, she said she needs time and space, so you have to let her have it. Don't talk about the relationship for awhile, but just be her friend. Either way, you'll keep her in your life. If you push her (or if she thinks you are pushing her), she'll bolt. Link to post Share on other sites
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