Shy guy driving me insane

[alakazam]

Hi guys! Could do with some insight as I'm absolutely terrible at this whole relationship thing

 

Basically, I split up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. It was completely the right decision to make - I hadn't been happy for a few months, and it all came to a head and we mutually agreed to end things. While things were getting worse and worse, I started to get a crush on another guy at university who I'd started spending more time with, due to mutual friend groups. He's funny, we have a great deal in common, and he was generally a nice guy. He seemed quite nervous around me, since he's quite an awkward person. At the same time, he seemed to talk about himself a lot to me. Basically, he was going through university exams at the time, so I did all I could to be nice to him I literally cannot see how I've done anything untoward to this guy. We'd walk back from a group meal with each other every week and I genuinely came to enjoy these times. I'd also like to point out that, as horrible as it sounds, he's not "out of my league". He's somebody I'd think I'd usually have a reasonable chance with.

 

Come to the end of term, and we exchange a couple of pleasant emails, him basically telling me his exams went OK. But after that, nothing. For 2 whole months. The problem is, if this were the player kind of guy, I'd take the hint and move on. But his Facebook page is basically blank from June onwards, except a couple of Facebook games. However, I have sent him a couple of unanswered Facebook messages (just asking how his holidays are going) - he's read them, but no reply. This guy seems to be generally quite inaccessible during the university holidays. He never goes on outings with other group members and he's been nagged to get Skype. Surely, even if he didn't like me, the polite thing would be to answer?

 

The reason I started to like him was because I got a sneaky feeling he might like me. Because of his Facebook habits, it's plausible he doesn't know me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of weeks ago. Now, it's pretty indecent to be thinking of dating 2 weeks after a break up, but there's the very slight snag that I'm moving to central Europe for a whole year in a week and a half (from the UK). I'll be back fleetingly for Christmas and for longer during various parts of 2013, but I realise that if I leave things to hang for a few months, the chance that anything will happen will go from very slim to nil.

 

To be honest, my dignity regarding what this guy thinks of me isn't an issue. If I didn't want to, I'd never have to see or speak to this guy again, because my moving away for a year will make it easy to avoid him if necessary. We get on well, but I wouldn't call him a close friend, so I have no worries about destroying a potential friendship. The problem is, if he blabs to our mutual friends, and then I get myself a bit of a reputation as desperate. Responses I've got from non-mutual friends have varied from "you don't know if you don't ask" to "he's being an absolute moron, forget about him". Like I say, it's not clear-cut that he's avoiding me on purpose, and it's plausible that he's twigged my feelings but still thinks I have a boyfriend. Also, it's not as simple as asking him out for a coffee or something in the next 10 days - outside term-time, we live 200 miles away from each other, so the "I'm in the neighbourhood" thing won't work.

 

A penny for your thoughts? My apologies for the essay.

 

Edit: just to point out that he really, really is quite an awkward (in an adorable way) guy. I'm fairly sure he's not had a girlfriend before, though he did mention (in quite a weirdly-worded way, and right in front of me) that he'd dated a girl for a couple of weeks but realised they wouldn't work together. If he did really like me, he wouldn't be the type to make the first move. See the circles I'm talking myself around in?

Edited August 23, 2012 by alakazam