Stuck in the middle of Family fights..

[BioHazard]

I'm new to this forum but from what I have seen, yall give some good advice and are very nice which is why I have come here for help and am going to try to help in return.

 

I moved to Texas with my sister 3 months ago to try to straighten out my life. My parents just got a divorce so I needed some get away time too. Well, now my sister and her husband are seperating and everyone is fighting over where I am to live (I am 16). I know if I go with one, the others will be hurt. I don't really get along with any of them which is why for the past 3 years I have stayed in my room all day and night (besides to go to the bathroom) and play on the computer. I don't talk to anyone much either. I don't let anyone close to me because of everything going on. I have an online boyfriend (relationship will move into real life if we end up happy together) that has been helping me through this whole confused time of my life, but now I am at a stand still because he really can not tell me where I need to live. He just said to go with who ever I am happiest with which are none of them. I am not here for yall to tell me where I need to live as you all can not do that either, just looking for some advice so I can finalize this decision.

 

Thank you all,

Bio

[magda]

Well, what are your plans for the future? You should take into account what you want your future to be like when you are on your own. Think about where you want to be when you're finally outta there and think about what options give you the best starting point for taking off on your own. For instance.. will your sister be nearby a city you're interested in living in later where living closeby will help you to make the transition when the time comes? Will some relatives financially assist you if you are under their wing more effectively than others? More than that, will any particular relative offer you emotional support to help you meet your personal goals for the future?

 

I know you're only 16 and your goal is probably just to get out of your situation. But it would be really helpful to really try to plan some short and long term goals if you haven't already and until you're old enough, basically use your relatives to further yourself. That is, only because you say you hate them all equally.

[quankanne]

sounds like you've got a lot of big decisions to make, kiddo, and I wish you luck.

 

first, I'd suggest you closely examine your relationships with each of the key players in all of this and figure out who it is that you are able to live with peacefully. If it's a family member or relative of the same sex, that might not be so hard to work out; if it's your brother-in-law, that could get dicey with you being a minor and all. You might also consider any other family members or family you feel comfortable with who might consider letting you live with them until you finish school.

 

second, consider what magda suggests about staying with the relative/friend who is living in an area that you'd like to be in. I know one thing couples with kids do when the move is look into the school district, and often, their decision on where to live is based on how good the schools are. If you're hoping to stay at the same high school, that may narrow down the candidates of who to stay with.

 

if you want to stay at the same school, but find that your sister wants to leave this city because of her divorce (looking someplace to start anew), go to your school counselor -- this is his/her job, to make sure students are adjusting to high school and help them with any and all problems. While yours is a pretty unique situation, there are ways to remedy it when you ask others to help.

 

good luck, and keep us posted.