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Oneitus - how to get over it


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Yea, I'm going through this now too. I fell for a coworker hard, and I haven't had it this bad for a woman maybe once or twice before in my life.

 

And for those that think this kind of thing is confined to male virgins with no life...

 

I have tons of work to do, a decent amount of friends, and I was able to snag a GF within that time frame who was really into me.

 

Getting another woman won't erase the lust and yearn. If you stay in contact with the first woman, she will still be the one you really want.

 

The key is no contact, as in absolutely none. At first, I was contacting her proactively. Then, I stopped and cut her out of my life. She made some attempts to keep in touch, but for several months I didn't hear from her or see a picture of her. And I was almost over her, and then she contacted me again. I was dumb enough to meet her, and the feelings came flooding back through the gates.

 

No contact whatsoever. No texts, pictures, conversation, facebook, googling. No masturbation with her. It takes a lot of willpower.

 

And for you lonelier guys, just for the record as someone who has had these feelings for a woman I actually HAVE DATED...

 

It's basically the same thing as love/honeymoon stage, as most people define it. :love: The only difference is the other person doesn't like you back. It sucks in a sense, because you will rarely experience such strong feelings for any person in your life, and one of the few you do, doesn't even want you touching her.

 

Oh well. Those are the breaks. No contact...

Edited by jobaba
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  • 3 weeks later...
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Just thought I would post an update here.

 

I've not done much really. Though I am dealing better with the oneitus, really put her into perspective.

 

Other than that I've not done much. Though I did apply for a part time course one night a week, so I suppose that's something.

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