Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Are you sure, too, that you are aware of what this girl's description of her "prince charming" might be? Maybe it's more about a guy who is madly in love with her and who wants to give her the world than it is about his looks. No I've seen the kind of guys she hits on and talks about and is attracted to. She wants top 10 maybe top 5% and she's literally one of the least attractive women I've ever encountered, a legitimate 2/10 She's not like the women on here who are a little above average and have nice figures but still complain 24/7. She is actually really ugly Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 You ever think that her being a 2/10 is just YOUR perception of her? Not really, pretty much everybody I know thinks that she is very very rough looking Maybe the fact that she can get these supposedly 8/10 (by your perception) guys to have sex with her gives her hope. That's the problem, men have no standards for sex but they have plenty standards for dating. She doesn't understand that You're an incredibly shallow person, and I can tell that just from the post I've quoted above. You rate a person I assume is a friend of yours like she's lower than scum, and seem to feel justified for doing so. How very attractive of you. I'm sorry, I just hate this whole grading people on a numbers scale because it's so stupid. Maybe a super attractive dude is out of her league, but if that is who she dreams of, what's it matter to you? Deep down, most of us have that unattainable fantasy (be it winning the lottery, marrying a beautiful woman/man etc) and it doesn't hurt anyone. It sounds to me like she has very low self-esteem (the sexual activity screams it). Sometimes, during bouts of low self-esteem, we start dreaming of that unreachable star, ya know? To be honest, if she thinks as low of herself as her friends seem to, then it's no wonder. With friends like you, who needs enemies? Hey look people can dream about whatever they want. There is a reason she's 34 and single while most women in their 30s are either married or have been married in the past, she's going to be in her 40s and single at this pace The market works itself out Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Good/bad is all subjective. When I say don't settle, I mean don't go for what you don't want in a partner, whether it be looks, personality, income level, etc. Look...if a guy wants a dumb blonde with huge tits and the personality of a drum...I say GO FOR IT. If a woman wants a rich wall street mover/shaker...go for it! Your advice is just astoundingly horrible This is how you get forever alone dudes and women who are single at 40 - you get dudes who are average looking with average personalities going for the hot blonde with the big tits and you have the women who are chubby and average and going for the six figure earner with the handsome face If you're not realistic about your prospects, you're going to be struggling for a long long long time Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 And this is the very premise that is the base for the "league" theory, as explained in The Science of Sex Appeal. We all by our very nature try to go after the most attractive mate we can. As time passes and we realize that the "best" don't find us attractive, we lower those standards until we find the most attractive people who also find us attractive. That's how we discover our relative "league." For some, this discovery is quick, but for others, they hold onto that hope that they do rate the "best" mates and will hold out for that mate, long after their own prime years have passed. Some never get over it and do end up dying alone. If only there was a way to force somebody to get over it. But everybody has a right to misery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) That would definitely make sense. No wonder he's so bitter about her standards being above what he can reach... The prevailing theory thusfar is that he wants to be that guy that she dreams of... So are you 2 actually retarded or just pretending to be retarded? I'm fantasizing about dating a 34 year old fat chick with a borderline deformed face? You're kidding right? Edited August 24, 2012 by StillReigning Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 What we don't understand is why it gets to you. If some chick who you paint as being practically sub-human wants a certain standard, who cares? Who does it harm except herself? The only reason you would care about her harming herself is if you cared about her, which you clearly do not since you focus so exclusively on her negative traits. Some people have realistic standards for dozens, hundreds of reasons. Maybe deep down she actually doesn't WANT a relationship, and so has unrealistic expectations so she never has to worry about falling into one. Or maybe, just maybe, that's who she is attracted to. Is it any skin off your nose if that's who she wants to spend her time chasing? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 What we don't understand is why it gets to you. If some chick who you paint as being practically sub-human wants a certain standard, who cares? Who does it harm except herself? The only reason you would care about her harming herself is if you cared about her, which you clearly do not since you focus so exclusively on her negative traits. People are mistaking my bluntness for hostility or me actually caring I just made this thread cause I thought it was fascinating that a bottom 10% woman would only be satisfied with a top 10% male and was wondering if anybody had a legitimate explanation. No other motive, that's it. Some people have realistic standards for dozens, hundreds of reasons. Maybe deep down she actually doesn't WANT a relationship, and so has unrealistic expectations so she never has to worry about falling into one. She actually wants to get married, from her comments I gather Or maybe, just maybe, that's who she is attracted to. Is it any skin off your nose if that's who she wants to spend her time chasing? So it's okay that a bottom 10% woman wants a top 10% male? Would it be okay for you if all of a sudden every man, including the least attractive ones, started demanding that their wives look like pornstars? Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 So it's okay that a bottom 10% woman wants a top 10% male? Would it be okay for you if all of a sudden every man, including the least attractive ones, started demanding that their wives look like pornstars? Well going by everything I've heard from male friends, co-workers, classmates, and on this board, I already think men expect that. And I've been told on this very forum that that is just what they're attracted to, quite badgering them, etc. And in the long run, better for people to chase what they want, then settle for what they don't. I NEVER want to be "settled" for... so let guys chase porn stars, and let fat ugly women chase millionaires. In the end, they'll either lower their expectations, remain alone, or find what they want. Why should any of that bother me? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Well going by everything I've heard from male friends, co-workers, classmates, and on this board, I already think men expect that. Complete nonsense. Go outside your house and look at most couples, it's average people dating average people This thread is about a small percentage of people (both men and women) who are disconnected from reality Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Complete nonsense. Go outside your house and look at most couples, it's average people dating average people This thread is about a small percentage of people (both men and women) who are disconnected from reality So what? If it's such a small minority who are disconnected from reality, then it matters even less what they want. Let her chase who she's attracted to, and stop attributing it to mental issues. It's just what she's attracted to, period. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 So what? If it's such a small minority who are disconnected from reality, then it matters even less what they want. Let her chase who she's attracted to, and stop attributing it to mental issues. It's just what she's attracted to, period. Individuals are free to do whatever they want. This is a discussion thread about why certain people demand a partner that's about 10 times better than themselves and if people here have experienced anything like that If you don't want to discuss that, then leave the thread Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Wait why is everyone yelling at the OP for this "getting to him"? He said he was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has theories on the psychology behind it, I believe? Am I missing something again So an unattractive overweight woman wants a hot, rich guy. Yeah that is pretty dang unrealistic. But I don't know why the anger over him commenting on it? People on LS comment pretty regularly on what some posters (SD) want in a woman and tell him that is dumb and unrealistic. So everyone who does that is as bad as OP? Not to mention all the threads that yell about men wanting women who "look like models" ? I am so confused Anyway, I do have a friend who is very overweight, VERY. it is sad. She dresses well for her body though, and her face is not unattractive. I find her standards for men to be WAY unrealistic. I am tall, thin, pretty and I don't even think I would be bagging the guys she wants. And as it stands, she has NO relationship / sexual experience because she is holding out for a super top guy. And in the end, she is lonely and she is sad she has never had the experiences that I and her other friends have had. She wants it very badly. But won't lower her standards, and I honestly feel bad because I don't think she'll ever get what she wants if she doesn't re-evaluate her requirements. I mean the thing is, they aren't preferences, they are REQUIREMENTS and...well, I feel badly for her but can't help but think she is putting herself in this situation. OP maybe instead of the # thing (2/10) you could have like, posted a pic of someone she resembles or used a celeb example or something, perhaps less offensive to some? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Wait why is everyone yelling at the OP for this "getting to him"? He said he was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has theories on the psychology behind it, I believe? Am I missing something again So an unattractive overweight woman wants a hot, rich guy. Yeah that is pretty dang unrealistic. But I don't know why the anger over him commenting on it? People on LS comment pretty regularly on what some posters (SD) want in a woman and tell him that is dumb and unrealistic. So everyone who does that is as bad as OP? Not to mention all the threads that yell about men wanting women who "look like models" ? I am so confused Anyway, I do have a friend who is very overweight, VERY. it is sad. She dresses well for her body though, and her face is not unattractive. I find her standards for men to be WAY unrealistic. I am tall, thin, pretty and I don't even think I would be bagging the guys she wants. And as it stands, she has NO relationship / sexual experience because she is holding out for a super top guy. And in the end, she is lonely and she is sad she has never had the experiences that I and her other friends have had. She wants it very badly. But won't lower her standards, and I honestly feel bad because I don't think she'll ever get what she wants if she doesn't re-evaluate her requirements. I mean the thing is, they aren't preferences, they are REQUIREMENTS and...well, I feel badly for her but can't help but think she is putting herself in this situation. OP maybe instead of the # thing (2/10) you could have like, posted a pic of someone she resembles or used a celeb example or something, perhaps less offensive to some? Thank you, this is exactly what I'm talking about. This girl I'm talking about looks like a fat version of this - http://www.noirgossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/ti_tiny.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Nobody 'chooses' who they are attracted to. An 'ugly' woman admits to only being physically attracted to 'hot' men? So what? One day, she will fall in love with someone who is not as perfect as her 'ideal', just like the rest of us do. If she's lucky, he will fall in love with her too and they will probably have a couple of 'not so hot' looking kids. It is nobody's business but hers. Seems to me you are bitter that most women are attracted to 'hot' men. You probably feel that you are missing out on the ones you think are in your league and so, by rights, they 'should' be interested in you. I've got news for you - it doesn't work that way. Get over it! Focus on women you are also interested in, who are interested in you - and forget about the ones you think are 'ugly' and who probably think you are 'ugly' too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Seems to me you are bitter that most women are attracted to 'hot' men. Seems like you people need to shut up with the pseudo psycho analysis and just stick to the thread topic Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Seems like you people need to shut up with the pseudo psycho analysis and just stick to the thread topic Some of us obviously believe that IS the thread topic! Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Anyone can have any standards they want for dating. It's none of my business. What annoys me is people with ridiculous standards for dating who then endlessly complain that they can't get any dates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Anyone can have any standards they want for dating. It's none of my business. What annoys me is people with ridiculous standards for dating who then endlessly complain that they can't get any dates. She falls into that category too Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Wait why is everyone yelling at the OP for this "getting to him"? He said he was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has theories on the psychology behind it, I believe? Am I missing something again So an unattractive overweight woman wants a hot, rich guy. Yeah that is pretty dang unrealistic. But I don't know why the anger over him commenting on it? People on LS comment pretty regularly on what some posters (SD) want in a woman and tell him that is dumb and unrealistic. So everyone who does that is as bad as OP? Not to mention all the threads that yell about men wanting women who "look like models" ? I am so confused Anyway, I do have a friend who is very overweight, VERY. it is sad. She dresses well for her body though, and her face is not unattractive. I find her standards for men to be WAY unrealistic. I am tall, thin, pretty and I don't even think I would be bagging the guys she wants. And as it stands, she has NO relationship / sexual experience because she is holding out for a super top guy. And in the end, she is lonely and she is sad she has never had the experiences that I and her other friends have had. She wants it very badly. But won't lower her standards, and I honestly feel bad because I don't think she'll ever get what she wants if she doesn't re-evaluate her requirements. I mean the thing is, they aren't preferences, they are REQUIREMENTS and...well, I feel badly for her but can't help but think she is putting herself in this situation. OP maybe instead of the # thing (2/10) you could have like, posted a pic of someone she resembles or used a celeb example or something, perhaps less offensive to some? Ah Veggy. Any plans in coming to SoCal so I can kidnap you and keep you for myself? Your boyfriend is a very lucky man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Anyone can have any standards they want for dating. It's none of my business. What annoys me is people with ridiculous standards for dating who then endlessly complain that they can't get any dates. Yeah, I think this is what bugs me about my friend, like what you want (however unrealistic) but then don't complain when you can't get it. I mean...a LITTLE self-reflection might shed some light on that Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I fixed your post for you. Seems like you I need to shut up Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Yeah, I think this is what bugs me about my friend, like what you want (however unrealistic) but then don't complain when you can't get it. I mean...a LITTLE self-reflection might shed some light on that But would it be better for her to lower her standards, and then complain that she isn't attracted to her boyfriend/husband? Of course it'd be great if she could reach into her brain and flip a switch that said "I am going to be attracted to X instead of Y" but short of doing that, what can she do? Look in the mirror and say "I don't deserve what I want, I deserve something lower"? Could you do that to yourself.... "I am not smart enough for grad school." "I am not pretty enough for love." I do that, and people on this board call it low self-esteem, not self-reflection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Damn you V, now I have a typo in my correction...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) But would it be better for her to lower her standards, and then complain that she isn't attracted to her boyfriend/husband? Of course it'd be great if she could reach into her brain and flip a switch that said "I am going to be attracted to X instead of Y" but short of doing that, what can she do? Look in the mirror and say "I don't deserve what I want, I deserve something lower"? Could you do that to yourself.... "I am not smart enough for grad school." "I am not pretty enough for love." I do that, and people on this board call it low self-esteem, not self-reflection. I don't understand. Women like you here constantly complain that average guys want models, yet a hideous woman wanting a good looking high status guy is okay? What planet do you live on? Edited August 24, 2012 by StillReigning Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I don't understand. Women like you here constantly complain that average guys want models, yet a hideous woman wanting a good looking high status guy is okay? What planet do you live on? I no longer complain, I just accept. Like I said, I wouldn't want to be "settled for" anyway. I would rather be alone than with someone who was only dating me because they couldn't get what they wanted, and thus lowered their standards. So let average guys chase models, and let "hideous" women want a high status guy. Let people go for what they want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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