jw32802 Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 is it common to constantly compare your NEW dates/new girlfriend/newboyfriend to a person you just recently broke up with (we dated for 2 years and just broke up). Why do i constantly compare? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Yes, it's common, but it's wrong to do so. Every person is unique and should not expect to be compared to your former love interests, but rather on their onw qualities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jw32802 Posted July 17, 2004 Author Share Posted July 17, 2004 i know its wrong too, but i wonder if it is human nature to Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 One could chalk it up to human nature, I suppose, but only at the start of things. For instance, you may find a quality in the new partner that was sorely lacking in the old one, but wished he/she had - nothing wrong if you find yourself thinking that, but only as a passing thought. If you are still constantly comparing over time, then I'd say there is indeed a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
dasani08810 Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 I don't know that there's anything wrong with comparing. Those are just thoughts. But if you were to act on those thoughts and try to get your partner to do something BECAUSE the ex did it; well, then there is a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Zfest Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Originally posted by dasani08810 I don't know that there's anything wrong with comparing. Those are just thoughts. But if you were to act on those thoughts and try to get your partner to do something BECAUSE the ex did it; well, then there is a problem. Well said. Link to post Share on other sites
ready2moveon26 Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 I don't quite think it is wrong to do this because there are things about your ex that you like and things that you didn't. For one reason or another, you are not together anymore and you just want to make sure the next relationship will be better. You don't want to downgrade yourself or "settle". You know what you want and if that person isn't it...then move on. This is exactly what I've had a lot of problems with lately as well. I compare EVERY guy I meet to my husband. My husband always wins. I don't know if I do it intentionally, but I find someone that is a half way decent and I look for something about them that is completely different from my husband and it gets on my nerves so badly that I can't stand to be around them for much longer. I know where you are comming from and I know how you feel. I think it is human nature because you liked what you had (for the most part). Link to post Share on other sites
Author jw32802 Posted July 18, 2004 Author Share Posted July 18, 2004 what is your story, why did you and your husband break up? Does it seem like you didnt even realize all yoru husbands good qualities as much UNTIL you started dating others again? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts