My boyfriend loses it for a pretty face when we're in public

[veggirl]

Has he done this your whole R? I am curious as to how you made it 2 yrs with someone who acts like that? I am honestly baffled. I get glancing but running up and hugging and acting like a giddy child...that is just beyond. He attributes this to a childhood incident with his mom? What happened with his mom that would cause this? That just seems like a convenient excuse to me.

 

I don't think anyone is calling your boyfriend worthless or an ********* but honestly....self-control shouldn't be so difficult.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Well, going by the outburst of the OP, lack of impulse control seems to be de rigeur for this pair.

 

OP. I am not quick to judge or bitter. You posted here for input from strangers. This stranger would find the behavior you described completely unacceptable. I can't imagine even tolerating it in a platonic friend. And the concept that "deep" psudo-psychological explanations and emergency therapy appointments would even be considered as a remedy would be even more of a deal breaker. I like to be close to people who are responsible and accountable for themselves and how they behave. In fact, that is a huge thing for me.

[Negative Nancy]

The problem is that he is easily "googly-eyed" over pretty girls. And it's not in a "wow she's hot" kind of way, it's in a curious, interested kind of way.

 

We had issues with this at the beginning, with him giving way too much attention to attractive females in social situations.

 

Today, he went all googly over some chick he's been talking to on a health forum- pure business, we both assumed she was fat and old. But she recently posted a picture and WOW he was googly.

 

She has the particular look that always does it for him which is completely OPPOSITE of how I look (I am very attractive as well, though). Although he has told me numerous times that I am the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, showered me with compliments etc etc.. I am starting to wonder if I can deal with this.

 

I have eyes for noone but him.

 

it kills me a little everytime this happens to the point where I am starting to loathe social situations where there might be a pretty girl.

 

I identify with ALL of this. I don't want to sound like Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy (hah..... ) but in my experience it never ends well. I could not ever be with a person like that again, an ex was like that too and would even comment in front of me "wow, there's alot of pretty girls in this town" , what an ******, it happened early on and I should have interpreted these signs in the right way right away, because in the end all it did was dragging out the inevitable longer than it was supposed to be: that I just wasn't #1. Even though he claimed the opposite, but that is just men talk since we all know how important physical appearance is to them. It never made me feel secure, I think men are fickle enough as it is anyway, so the only way to ever stand the small chance of not getting fu.cked over by them is by at least being 100% their type. Or close to it.

 

But now I am starting to feel like maybe if I had more male friends or some other guy in my periphery, I would feel like the scales are balanced more.

That's not going to work, in the end you will still feel bad because it doesn't address the feeling of inadequacy that your boyfriend causes within you by his actions. All it will do is making you more resentful. I've been there.

 

My advise: be with someone who is at least 95% into you and who doesn't act like a Pavlovian dog every time he is out on the streets. Be with someone who gets "googly-eyed" () over YOU.

 

I think this is what people mean when they say "don't settle" because all settling does is creating dissatisfied men who will cheat when they run into the REAL woman of their dreams.

 

Men will cheat anyway, but chances are even higher if you are not what they really want or respond to on a visceral level.

Edited August 29, 2012 by Negative Nancy

[Negative Nancy]

emotionally you want to feel special and an exception above all other women...but you have to wonder If it he acts like this with just women who are friends or hardly acquaintances then how exclusive can you really feel?

 

If he can't focus that energy on you and invest completely in the current relationship I don't see how this addiction type behavior won't eventually lead him to cheating or at least infringing upon the respect of your relationship.

 

that must be extremely embarrassing and hurtful to you, and he look shameless...these women must feel sorry for you that he does this with that know he's in a relationship.

 

"hope" IMO isn't going to do you much good, see the real person not the potential of what you want him to be.

 

 

this is exactly what I meant....brilliant posting, as usual.

[kookybunny]

They should call this place hateshack instead. Lol

[veggirl]

They should call this place hateshack instead. Lol

 

 

Okay fine. It's cool that your boyfriend cannot control himself around pretty girls. You should not be upset. What is wrong with you? He can't help it. No woman would have a problem with what he is doing, I can not believe that you do.

 

Yeah it's totally normal for a guy to lose control over a pretty face. I mean geez my own boyfriend well he just humps their leg and gets it over with! It's so funny!

[TG1]

Tell him how it makes you feel but at the same time you have to trust him, because you can't have a relationship without trust and without trust you guys can't survive