Will it ever be the same?

[jacks7717]

Hello.

 

I recently moved from upstate to the city. I met a man through my job and after a long time.of getting to know this man sexually and as a person in general we became inseparable and even though we both knew I had to move back upstate we decided to try and make the best of it. For about three months we were inseparable. We fell in love, a deep honest love that was full of adventures and growth. A love I didn't think truely exsisted. When it was time for me to leave I packed the U-Haul and he an I drove it upstate. He stayed a couple days and then flew back.

We left the relationship very open ended. He has told me thar he promises we will find a way to get me back down - since money is the issue here - and that he felt like he was losing the most important thing to him.. which is also how I felt. I have told him I am not talking to other guys and that I cannot even muster the thought of trying to feel what I felt with him. But all he can seem to say is that he wants me to be happy and take every opportunity life gives me. Which I can understand he is being selfless for my happiness which intrigues me, but at the same time I cannot be happy without him. I don't tell him that much because he hates when I'm upset.

He has told me he loves me, and I have him as well.

At first I felt okay about it, not okay or content, but as if I was possitive a love this strong couldn't just 'go away'. At first I got a lot of texts and a couple calls a day, a lot of messages and emails saying how he thought I was valuable and amazing and how he will always be with me at heart. Its now been about a month since I have seen him and there was one day that he didn't answer 4 texts or a phone call from me until late at night. I asked why because I had figured he was going to stop talking to me... assuming the worst.. and he made up an excuse, telling me he had received a nasty email saying to stay away from me. I just don't see that to be true because I have not a single person here who knows him/would even care enough to send such an email. I feel lied to, from the one person I thought would never EVER lie to me. But I have to trust him so I let it go. Never even brought it up again.

Every day I seem to get less and less from him.. I still text him and talk over the phone.. be he seems... detatched. Its breaking my heart.

I asked him to please just inform me if anything changes about how he feels towards me, and told him I was not going to let this go until I was sure he had.

He told me once again that he would always be with me and that he wasn't trying to push me away but only make me happy. Why can't he understand that the highlight of my day is seeing his name on my phone texting or calling. Or hearing him say he misses me or wants me or loves me... he hasn't said any of that in a while.. even though I make sure I tell him all the time that he is missed.

I guess my question is..

Am I being dumb by believing in this thing that he seems to be so detatched from already after only a month? And another part is... I am going to stay a night in the city with him on the 12th - a little over 2 weeks - and I need help on finding the words to say to him. Or the questions I should ask him about how he feels about this.

Ugh. Why me? Even though I am so happy to have finally experienced such a love. Like a fairy-tale love. Like the kind of love in movies and books. The memories we shared and the person he is/and how we grew to be what we were, will forever hold a mark in my life and heart.

How do I make this work. There is nothing I want more, than to make this man happy. Even if it means letting him go. Just looking for opinions / advice. Thanks for reading.

 

-jacks

[justwhoiam]

Do you want to know why you got hurt and let down? Because you gave him everything a wife would, except you're nothing to him. This is how relationships are managed nowadays. So you get it romantic and sexual and then you start defining what it is. Had you done it the other way round (first you define it, then you get down to it), probably nothing would have happened between the two of you. Apparently, nothing was made official, like: this is my girlfriend. From what you told, it was just the two of you and no one else in the picture.

 

He enjoyed his time with you and you did enjoy your time with him. That's all that is left now.

 

By the way, I would have wanted to know what the letter said, I would have thought it was my right to know. Probably - if that was true - it set him in a bad mood.