scatterd Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 If you are divorcing that is good.I thought you was with her and making plans. If OW does not follow through I would consider maybe taking time off to find yourself. Jumping into Marriage right away could come with many problems. After being Divorced twice it took about 7 to 8 years inbetween before I married again. I dated but had children so I took my time. I wanted to find myself again and try to be with someone that complimented me. Try taking some time beore jumping in right away. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 How do you propose to a married gal - when you are also married? This gal isn't intending to BE with you - she just keeps bumping YOUback into your proper role - as her OM. When you ask for her to commit - she suddenly realizes she already married and you expect more than she's willing to give (or give up). Link to post Share on other sites
stillwater Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Also, I dont see what's wrong with me meeting her family. If anything, I wanted her to commit and get real with me. Her opening to family and introducing me to them and telling them that she wants to marry me is definitely step forward in my eyes. People often say actions speak louder than words. When I said that I am staying distant I meant I am not opening myself but am willing to give het a chance to prove to me that this time she really means business and is determined to make 'us' work. xMW introduced me to her friends and family too. In the end it meant nothing. Like you, I thought it was a sign she was serious. Looking back on it now that it's over, it just strikes me as incredibly f'ed up. Put yourself in her H's shoes -- his in-laws care/respect him so little that they know she's banging another dude, and they just sit back and say "ok"? Nobody bothered telling him, they just looked him in the eye and pretended all was perfectly normal. Do you really want to be a part of that family? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartdok Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 xMW introduced me to her friends and family too. In the end it meant nothing. Like you, I thought it was a sign she was serious. Looking back on it now that it's over, it just strikes me as incredibly f'ed up. Put yourself in her H's shoes -- his in-laws care/respect him so little that they know she's banging another dude, and they just sit back and say "ok"? Nobody bothered telling him, they just looked him in the eye and pretended all was perfectly normal. Do you really want to be a part of that family? Actually, her family adores her H and one of her fears is that family will not want to have anything with her. She wants to tell her sister about us and ask her to stand by her when things get rough and act as sort of intermediary with other members of family, particularly parents. Link to post Share on other sites
stillwater Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 (edited) Actually, her family adores her H and one of her fears is that family will not want to have anything with her. She wants to tell her sister about us and ask her to stand by her when things get rough and act as sort of intermediary with other members of family, particularly parents. So in other words she wants her sister to support her in the fact she's having an affair. I don't see how the situation is any different from what I said before. Look, I know you think these are good signs, and maybe they are. But think about it. If she wants to leave her marriage, she can just leave her marriage. She doesn't need to introduce you to friends/family now, she has all eternity to do that after her M is over. If she really wants to leave, there's no reason for these baby steps to convince you she's serious -- the easiest way to prove she's serious is to JUST LEAVE. Why doesn't she just do that? As someone who has been there, I'm just saying don't get your hopes up too high. Edited September 19, 2012 by stillwater Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartdok Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 So in other words she wants her sister to support her in the fact she's having an affair. I don't see how the situation is any different from what I said before. Look, I know you think these are good signs, and maybe they are. But think about it. If she wants to leave her marriage, she can just leave her marriage. She doesn't need to introduce you to friends/family now, she has all eternity to do that after her M is over. If she really wants to leave, there's no reason for these baby steps to convince you she's serious -- the easiest way to prove she's serious is to JUST LEAVE. Why doesn't she just do that? As someone who has been there, I'm just saying don't get your hopes up too high. You got it wrong. She is affraid that her parents will not talk to her after she divorces. I wouldnt say she is affraid, but rather worried. So she wants to ask sister to talk with parents and make them try to understand once she tells them she is divorcing. She cant leave H now as he is on another end of the world for next two months. last week she told me she will leave him minute he returns. However, two days ago she told me she cant wait that long and will go to that place where he is now over coming weeks and tell him it is over. Link to post Share on other sites
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