LoverOfDance Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 My brother says I have psychological issues because I like being by myself 80% of the time. I spend a good portion of my time dancing and I talk to a lot of the dancers in my class but when I'm home, I like being myself. I don't text and I don't call anyone except family members. I have a few friends but I wouldn't really call them friends because I don't tell them things that are personal to me. I only have about four to five friends who I actually tell most of my secrets to and I'm fine with that. I'm going through a really difficult time in my life right now and my brother says I'm so sad and unhappy because I don't have many friends around me to lighten up my mood and keep me happy. The reason why I'm not always around my "friends" is because I try not to depend on anyone to make or keep me happy. I try not to put my happiness in the hands of anyone(but myself). Is it weird that I like being by myself? I just feel like I can focus better when I close myself off to the outside world. I feel like I get distracted very easily by things happening around me so I prefer to stay in my own little corner and try to process things my own way. But I feel like a lot of people are not like this. I'm I weird for being this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 My brother says I have psychological issues because I like being by myself 80% of the time. I spend a good portion of my time dancing and I talk to a lot of the dancers in my class but when I'm home, I like being myself. I don't text and I don't call anyone except family members. I have a few friends but I wouldn't really call them friends because I don't tell them things that are personal to me. I only have about four to five friends who I actually tell most of my secrets to and I'm fine with that. I'm going through a really difficult time in my life right now and my brother says I'm so sad and unhappy because I don't have many friends around me to lighten up my mood and keep me happy. The reason why I'm not always around my "friends" is because I try not to depend on anyone to make or keep me happy. I try not to put my happiness in the hands of anyone(but myself). Is it weird that I like being by myself? I just feel like I can focus better when I close myself off to the outside world. I feel like I get distracted very easily by things happening around me so I prefer to stay in my own little corner and try to process things my own way. But I feel like a lot of people are not like this. I'm I weird for being this way? Unfortunatley a lot of people would class someone as weird just because they like to spend a lot of time on their own. Personally I don't see it as weird. I like to be by myself a lot of the time too. Link to post Share on other sites
Thierro Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I like to be alone as well. If I'm in a room with more than 5 people that talk loudly I become anxious and nervous and it causes me to want to get away from it. I can't stand a lot of noise, it drains me of my energy very quickly. I don't go to parties and clubs. I avoid places with a lot of people. Society is formed around extraverts. Being an extravert is seen as healthy behavior, while introverts display a behavior that is seen as antisocial, something that needs to be addressed. You are not weird at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 But I feel like a lot of people are not like this. Think about what you just said here.... ....'A lot of people are not like this....' Why do you think you don't know a whole lot of people like this? Because... that's right.... they're loners...! By very virtue of the fact that they're loners... they're not going to group together for safety in numbers, are they....? If loads of loners got together - well, that would kind of defeat the object, really - wouldn't it - ?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 It just means that you're an introvert. Nothing wrong with that. 25% of the population are introverts. The vast majority of gifted people are introverts. Some famous people who are introverts: Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Johnny Carson. Introverts tend to be creative, good listeners, smart and studious, have long-term relationships, and get along well with others. American society values extroverts more than introverts, but that is not the case in other countries. Introverts draw their energy from being alone and able to reflect and analyze. Extroverts draw their energy from other people. Introverts are responsible for the majority of the world's greatest gains in literature, music, art and business. They are the creative thinkers. The deep thinkers. The geniuses. Be proud that you are an introvert. Without people like you, the world would be a lot worse off, and then there would be no one to listen to all of those people who love to talk all the time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Thierro Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Video on TED.com Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 You're normal. The only disconcerting thing you said is that you don't want to trust or depend on anyone else when you have troubles. Nothing wrong with that, but I think you're missing out by not opening yourself up to trust others. I'm 54 and I've spent the last 30 years not having friends, and I'm only now realizing what I've missed out on by not pushing myself outside my comfort zone, at least a LITTLE. If I'd let some people in a little bit when I had troubles, my life would have been a lot easier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Van Damm Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) Nothing wrong with it. We live in a society where being extroverted, hence being the loudest person at the party, or clubbing every weekend (although I don't call that a true extrovert) is favoured highly, no wonder you're questioning whether it's "abnormal". I feel that finding a balance is good idea though. Edited August 25, 2012 by Van Damm Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoverOfDance Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 You're normal. The only disconcerting thing you said is that you don't want to trust or depend on anyone else when you have troubles. Nothing wrong with that, but I think you're missing out by not opening yourself up to trust others. I'm 54 and I've spent the last 30 years not having friends, and I'm only now realizing what I've missed out on by not pushing myself outside my comfort zone, at least a LITTLE. If I'd let some people in a little bit when I had troubles, my life would have been a lot easier. I was way more closed off in high school than I am now. Now I actually spend more time with friends even though I am by myself most of the time. Sometimes I don't bother to hang out with friends because I feel sad when after a while, they say they have to leave. That feeling of sadness makes me wonder if I am placing my happiness in their hands. I don't think anyone can keep me happy but myself. Like they say, "happiness comes from within". Other times, I don't bother to hang out with them because I'm just not in the mood and would rather go home, take a nice long shower, check my mail, and dose off in front of the tv:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoverOfDance Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 Thanks for the reply guys:) I feel better now knowing there's nothing psychologically wrong with me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Other times, I don't bother to hang out with them because I'm just not in the mood and would rather go home, take a nice long shower, check my mail, and dose off in front of the tv:)That's a great philosophy, unless it becomes what you do 85-90% of the time. THAT would not be healthy in the long term. Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Nothing wrong with liking being alone...as long as you also enjoy being around other people occasionally. I think a solid mix of both is healthier than a heavy slant towards one or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Classic Introvert, that's all. Many people are like that. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 There is nothing wrong with the fact that you like to be alone. I hate going out to crowded clubs. I would much rather stay home and watch tv or read a book than go to a party. I do have a few close friends I spend time with and I do live with my boyfriend. Although, because of work/school schedules I still am at home alone most of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Zolie Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 I'm an introvert, too. Like you, OP, I prefer to spend time at home reading, playing on the computer, watching t.v., than going out or going to parties/events. My husband and I are both homebodies, so this works for us. Plus, I am a nester and love just *being* in my home. I don't consider myself, or you, weird at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 I think it's perfectly normal. Some people are introverts, others extroverts. Some thrive on company and can't be alone, others find it a stretch to go to a party on a friday night. We all have to strive for balance so I'd make sure you don't lose touch with people you value and make a bit of extra effort for your family, but no there is nothing wrong with enjoying being alone at all. Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Your completely normal. Im very much the same. Ive always found this a fascinating topic;) Theres a test you can do to find your personality rating - its really interesting think it was done by Jung - i did it at some training i went to, and it was fascinating guessing where different people would fit. As expected the sales guys were all extroverted, whereas the researchers and business analysts were nearly exclusively introverted. Im interested in this changing though. Ive become way more outgoing over the years, and people at work at least, think im very outgoing and extroverted......when the reality is, i live at home and crave my space. I also go to parties a lot......but again, i get overwhelmed being around people for more than say a night. I hate sharing a room on holiday, and poor girlfriends have had hell of a job trying to get me to move in with them!! in fact the last one left because of it! I dont reegret staying on my own though, I wasnt ready and did the right thing for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 (edited) Hey I could have written this question. I dont even have 4 or 5 good friends though I only have a few. I don't go out at the weekend and I don't want to drink. I'm happy just eating some good food and watching a dvd (by myself!!).I don't particularly like large crowds or loud noises (funny because I used to be a raver haha). I prefer shopping by myself. I just like to rely on myself as I know I won't be late/ not show up etc. I have had a lot of friends in the past but some were VERY unreliable or just not good friends so I gave up. So although some may think I am abnormal I don't really care as it is my choice . It isn't like I'm antisocial but I have done enough going out/clubbing/drinking to know it isn't that great!I just don't want to make the effort to do that kind of thing anymore. Edited September 2, 2012 by Heatemyheart89 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 As long as you have SOME friends or family to confide in when you need help or want to socialize...there's nothing wrong with how you are. It's the quality of friends, not quantity. By the way, one of the primary traits of an introvert is that they experience an INCREASE in physical energy and mental perspective when they are alone; as opposed to extroverts who experience a DECREASE when they are alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Barrsitter Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 You're normal. The only disconcerting thing you said is that you don't want to trust or depend on anyone else when you have troubles. Nothing wrong with that, but I think you're missing out by not opening yourself up to trust others. I'm 54 and I've spent the last 30 years not having friends, and I'm only now realizing what I've missed out on by not pushing myself outside my comfort zone, at least a LITTLE. If I'd let some people in a little bit when I had troubles, my life would have been a lot easier. this is my story also. Only I spent the last 30 years raising 3 children alone. Never had time for a boyfriend and now I am 55 and really lonely. I live alone in a very nice apartment but still, I am alone and I don't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I thinks it's pretty ironic that you'd ask a bunch of people who socialize on a public forum if they think it's weird to spend their time alone. Classic. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 It could just mean you are an introvert and that the external stimulation that extroverts really need, overwhelms you. There's nothing wrong with that. I do know someone with Asperger's Syndrome who also retires a lot. They find others very overwhelming and almost painful. They need peace and time alone in order to recover. They are hugely talented and intelligent, just don't need the same social interaction as others. I suspect most people vary in terms of how much they need to be with other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 I LOVE my own company. I look forward to getting home every evening, cooking a nice meal and watching a DVD with my cat. I dread any socializing if I have it planned but still push myself to go. Then I just count the days when I can be alone again. I look forward to the next weekend because I have nothing planned 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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