"This is going to sound mean, but..."

[oasisfancortes]

I already posted something about this in a different thread, but it was too long so I condensed it really nice and short here.

 

Let's say you are young, in college and in a LDR with someone you don't see too often (only on the weekends or once every week and a half) and things are going great between you two. And say she might be moving away to go college, but that person said she would stay closer for you but said "This is going to sound mean, but I don't want to go to the same school as you because I don't want to get tired of you/I hope I don't get tired of you", would you feel bad if the relationship didn't work out in the end?

 

Things didn't work out in the end for me. She did indeed get tired of me. I would wonder why. I don't want to go into details. Even after she said this, I still stuck with her, and we had a few bumps, going on a break and getting back together. Ultimately, we didn't work out. Would you feel like it was your fault if things went wrong with someone who'd say this? I'm not trying to make myself look good, maybe I tried too hard or could have been a better boyfriend in my relationship. It's a looong story, but this was just something she said in the beginning of our relationship when everything seemed fine and long before things started to get confusing/bad.

 

What do you think?

Edited August 25, 2012 by oasisfancortes

[MercuryMorrison1]

I already posted something about this in a different thread, but it was too long so I condensed it really nice and short here.

 

Let's say you are young, in college and in a LDR with someone you don't see too often (only on the weekends or once every week and a half) and things are going great between you two. And say she might be moving away to go college, but that person said she would stay closer for you but said "This is going to sound mean, but I don't want to go to the same school as you because I don't want to get tired of you/I hope I don't get tired of you", would you feel bad if the relationship didn't work out in the end?

 

Things didn't work out in the end for me. She did indeed get tired of me. I would wonder why. I don't want to go into details. Even after she said this, I still stuck with her, and we had a few bumps, going on a break and getting back together. Ultimately, we didn't work out. Would you feel like it was your fault if things went wrong with someone who'd say this? I'm not trying to make myself look good, maybe I tried too hard or could have been a better boyfriend in my relationship. It's a looong story, but this was just something she said in the beginning of our relationship when everything seemed fine and long before things started to get confusing/bad.

 

What do you think?

 

Well its honestly hard to anwser without knowing all the details, but I understand why you wouldn't want to post those up on a random fourm such as this.

 

I think her saying she doesn't want to attend the same school as you because she ''fears getting tired of you'' was just an excuse. She had probably been tired of being with you long before she told you that. You probably got hurt a little worse than you had to because you didn't end it when she told you that, instead you opted to try and make it work despite the high chance of failure.

 

LDR's are tough...When I was a teenager I was in an almost 2 year long LDR and it was awful honestly. But it did teach me alot.

[oasisfancortes]

She confused me. Maybe once or twice she brought up 'hypothetical' situations about being friends with benefits or going on a break, both before and after she decided to stay... At first I thought they were just tests to see how I would respond to them. I wasn't sure if she was being serious or not, but I would say no to them. I thought by saying no to them I was showing her I was serious about her, but I did take note of them. I guess she really was trying to dump me from the start. We barely started going out in March, would barely see each other, and she was asking me those questions!

I feel like somewhere along the line she was testing me and I f*cked up, tho :[

+

[Feelsgoodman]

She confused me. Maybe once or twice she brought up 'hypothetical' situations about being friends with benefits or going on a break, both before and after she decided to stay... At first I thought they were just tests to see how I would respond to them. I wasn't sure if she was being serious or not, but I would say no to them. I thought by saying no to them I was showing her I was serious about her, but I did take note of them. I guess she really was trying to dump me from the start. We barely started going out in March, would barely see each other, and she was asking me those questions!

I feel like somewhere along the line she was testing me and I f*cked up, tho :[

+

I don't see why you were confused. Obviously, she wanted to play the field while keeping you as a bakcup plan. This is actually pretty common behavior for women these days.

[fishtaco]

I don't see why you were confused. Obviously, she wanted to play the field while keeping you as a bakcup plan. This is actually pretty common behavior for women these days.

 

Pretty much this.

 

But you learned a valuable lesson. This lesson is actually more valuable to you than she is. It may not feel like that now, but in the long run, this is good for you.