Seperation Problem

[Flamed]

Read my situation as i would benefit from your advice. My girlfriend entered a intensive medical sales program 6 weeks ago. We have been seeing eachother since July. She is 31 and i am 43. This training requires she study almost non-stop about drugs as she has no background in medicine.

 

Anyway she is never available to get together. In fact we have been talking less as she gets deeper in this program. She has 4 weeks left. i have sent her voice messages to her hotel where she must stay in town here and let her know how i care. Last we were together was on my birthday 2 weeks ago. i was exhausted from recent work projects and after dinner went back to her place. Anyway we layed together on her bed and watched a movie. i didnt want to be aggressive that night as i just wanted to be close. She may have took it wrong that i didnt want her and felt rejected.

 

Now she has been creating distance. i sent her a dozen roses a week after this happened. Then last week i delivered a caring card to her hotel. She called me after getting both gifts and was appreciative. But was too busy to make any weekend plans with me, since she needed to study.

 

These are 2 emails she sent that indicate her thoughts. First one shown below she sent just before starting this training. Next more recently is her thoughts with this distance building up. If any females out there can give me some input on how to keep things alive, please comment to help me get things back on track. Read her emails to me next.

 

Subj: Home

 

Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000

 

From: Ramona

 

To: Jimmy

 

Hi Honey. I just got home from Denise's. I'm going to eat now. Honey,I need to be really focused for the next 10 weeks. Which will be a challenge in and of itself. I also need to do very well. If it seems that I'm isolating myself don't take it personally. I just need to be strong and sometimes I need to go through things alone or whatever, it's hard to explain. I hope to be in good spirits when I talk to you and see you over these weeks. Just hang on for me okay.? Talk to you soon. PS- Be careful with the your and you're. Look at your last e-mail to me. XXOO

 

Subj: Quick Reply

 

Date: Mon, 23 Oct 2000

 

From: Ramona

 

To: Jimmy

 

Jimmy, I just don't have time to respond or talk. I should be studying right now. I'll be brief. I'm sorry if I was nasty. I was angry at you and you made me realize that. Now I'm not so angry anymore. However, I've grown away and never having felt that I loved you, you can probably understand how I feel with 6 weeks being apart. You are a nice person with caring qualities. I will think things through clearly when I am done with this training in 4 weeks. Please don't expect calls. Be well. Ramona PS- We didn't have plans to play volleyball today/Sunday. What are you referring to?

[Tony T]

Your post is answered in pretty good detail below under "Drifting Apart" posted by you yesterday, word for word. Go back to the message board and scroll down to find it.

 

If you are looking for more opinions, you may want to wait a week or so to repost to catch some different people.

 

Good luck.

[Paulie]

Frankly, I'm a little LoveShack Advice-giving-ed-out today. I'll give you a more complete analysis at a later point, if you post later, as Tony suggests you do.

 

In short, I agree with Tony. Deep-six this girl ASAP. She has no right to put you through what you're going through right now.

[Nina]

Well, this really depends on how long you've been together and how close you are.

 

I can sense a difference in tone between the first and second letters. To be quite honest, I don't know that I can relate because I'm a very dependent partner and so is my fiance (luckily) so we're never apart.

 

My advice is to write her a letter. I mean, I know she has to study, but you can't study 24-7. My fiance and I are both in college with jobs and I volunteer in my free time. My fiance actually has two jobs, an internship and a regular job.

 

Write her and tell her how you feel, giving no pressure for her to respond, just use it as an outlet.

 

As far as I'm concerned, relationships are important. Out of respect for the person you're involved in, you need to let them know what's going on, how you feel and how youthink they're feeling so that you can be sure of good, open communication. I mean, when you care about someone, you make time.