Mystic_Rain Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 I'm writing this forum as a last attept for help. I feel like im on the verge of a mental breakdown. I have been with my current boyfriend for 6 years now off and on and we have one child together. At first this were perfect, he saved me from an abusive relationship we did everything together. Then I became pregnant and thats when thing went down hill. he went out often with his friends. Had no "umpf" to work. I was on social assistance for the first year of my sons life just so i was able to support us and get my high school diploma. After that year i made some old friends and some new friends all the wrong crowd. I to started to go out all the time, leaving him alone with the baby. I thought screw him and i did. I cheated on him with one of Our close friends. Thats where it started. I went back to him, I was going on the straight and narrow but deep down in side i think i hated him because he made me feel like he didnt care about me. I started college and he made sure i had no time to do home work. He watched the baby all day so it was all was my turn after school. I refused to go back on social assistance so a friend of mine suggested that we should become strippers for extra money. well I fell even deeper in the hole. I drank all my money, stopped going to school, stopped going home unless i needed to shower or get clothes, I slept with two more guys and a girl. all the while he sat at home and i lied to him. I told him i was working at a magizine place. He finally caught me. Then this were ok until he found out i was cheating. Thats where i decieded to end it leave but he wnted to try again and i loved him. I went on the straight and narrow again But he couldnt let go of the past. He would constantly pester me for every sick detail that i did. And me i would just walk away without saying a word immbarassed about what i had did. Finally I Left Again, tired of fighting, for a whole year i went without someone. I chated on the net, went to work everyday. Seen my son everyother day. Thats when we patched it up. He promised to try and let things go but he didnt and now im getting depressed because i cant take being called a hoe every day, and i feel real guilt for everything ive done. One day one of his old friends comes up to me and talks nice to me and treats me nice i deciede that maybe i should date him. and i did. He was nice for the first while but then he changed and wouldnt let me talk to anyone without freaking out like a little girl. I left him just to find out i was pregnant with his kid. I had no where else to turn so i went home and My first sons father took me back. We still fight all the time expecially while were drinking. He doesnt trust me at all. I am at the point where i feel like he is going to get even with me and leave me. I feel like killing myself everyday just so that i can end his hurt. I can't leave him because he has my first son and i love both of them but i feel like i cant stay either. What can i do. should i stay or should i go. Link to post Share on other sites
SHHHHH Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Damn girl you really did mess up..... I think you should leave him.... you hurt him really bad already..... just thank God he is a really good dad, you know there are not too many like that..... now you are pregnant ??? oh no! what else can go wrong ? 2 kids are no joke... but you can still make it, you sound like you are really smart.... just hang in there & try to be single wait 4 the right man 2 come.... he will come one day ..... Go back 2 school..... SCHOOL IS KEY 2 LIFE!!! be strong think strong!! GOOD LUCK!! Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I drank all my money, We still fight all the time expecially while were drinking. The first thing that should be done is for you and your boyfriend to stop drinking, especially you with a baby on the way. Don't kill yourself . Nothing is ever so bad that it can't be fixed. You just need to sit down, clear your mind and decide what you want to do. If you decide to stay with your guy you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk. Tell him that he needs to quit being so judgemental (especially calling you a hoe?!). Set up some structure in your life for you and your children. Don't sleep with anyone else but your boyfriend while you're with your boyfriend. If you decide to leave him, you need to figure out where you're going to go, and what you're going to do before you do it. I know your life seems really bad now, but don't give up. It will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
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