pav186 Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Well the OCD and depression are back and this time I broke down and told my mom about my condition and she was glad that I did and will help me get professional help. This is very long over due as I have put my gf through more that her fair share of sh*t. I need to get over this as my life has been brought to a stand still and I have even had thoughts about ending it with my gf as a way to end the anxiety, even though I know thats not what I want. Some of the people on here know my story so im just updating...for those that dont I dont have the energy to get into it again right now... Pav Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Hey Pav.. That's good news that you've told your mum!!! It helps so much to have the support of friends and family and to be able to be honest I've found. Sorry it's hit you again. It does that I find too...comes and goes in waves of severity. It will get easier though...and even though the waves still come ...they are less powerful. Plus, I know EXACTLY what you mean about sometimes thinking it would be easier to be alone, to rid yourself of the anxiety and worry! I've thought that sometimes too. But that's no way to live a life. It's a life of fear, where you would be robbing yourself of the many joys which come with being in a loving relationship. And in the end, the condition is controllable, so there's no need! If you need to chat, vent or whatever, you know we're here...and you know I at the very least...know what you are talking about!! I personally have been having a pretty good run lately...although the wedding planning is making it hard for me not to ask questions about his FIRST wedding. But I'm dealing with that one now...and it's getting easier as I go along. P.S. dont forget to try and explain it all really clearly to your gf...because we do put our partners through quite a bit...and having some understanding of the situation/condition can help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pav186 Posted July 18, 2004 Author Share Posted July 18, 2004 Thinkalot- And I just PM'ed you and said how I was getting better... you're right though as bad as it is, it is less severe than the times before it which is scary because this is unbearable and the depression can stop me in my tracks sometimes as my mood switches on a dime. Despite what I put my gf though she is absolutely amazing and I love her so much, and the fact she is supportive and tries to research ways she can help me shows how special she is, I really feel lucky to have her which makes my obsessing even more irrational. I sometimes have no idea how she puts up with me... So you've had thoughts about leaving ur bf when the anxiety is really bad?? I thought that was just me... I've also been thinking about getting some form of religion in my life, I think the lack of a strong spritual side could be detrimental... This is a pretty big change because I have always been somewhat anti-religious and felt I didnt need religion to have a relationship with God but maybe it would be a good way to start, i guess im just rambling but its been on my mind lately. My mom gave me her prayer book that she says has helped her with her anxiety problems. She also told me that her and her 3 siblings all have anxiety/ocd or depression, my 2 brothers have ocd/anxiety and depression so its defintely in the family. Sometimes I feel like if I have kids i'm just bringing them into this world just to inherit some mental problems, Im really glad you are able to control the questioning somewhat and when you slip up it sounds like you are able to get in under control. Best Wishes, Pav Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Yep, sometimes I hate the fact I ever still have to edit thoughts in my head, and watch what I am about to say when I am with my fiance...and I've reached the stage, where when I am alone, I am at peace, andhappy, and busy. Whereas before, the thoughts were pretty much ALWAYS there. But, even when we're together it is SO much easier now...and often, doesn't happen at all!!! And when it does it's easier to manage. And you know, I cannot imagine life without my wonderful fiance. Like you and your gf, I have grown to love him even more because he has stood by me through this, and tries so hard to understand and have patience. I am so happy your gf sounds so special and caring. It does say a great deal about her. Remember, try not to beat yourself up...it's hard enough as it is, without adding guilt to the equation! I must say, spirituality can help. I meditate, and have my own set of beliefs...and it helps. I can ask for help from my spirit guides and the Universe...and practice putting my trust in the Universe, and knowing that everything is happening as it should be happening. A toughie..but a good one if you can manage it. I also typed up a set of positive affirmations, and laminated them and have them on the wall by my bed. Things like "I will make each day be the best it can be, and enjoy the present moment fully" "I trust in (my fiance) because he loves and cares for me and I love him" "The past has helped us become who we are today....and it no longer exists" "I am worthy of great love, and have achieved great things in my life" "We all experience different things, for different reasons, to learn and grow" ..you get the idea. They have helped me through some rough moments...and can help ground you and put you back on track. Good luck...let us know how things go...probably you'llbe having an easier time of it again really soon! Link to post Share on other sites
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