i did the most stupid thing

[without]

Trimmer

I think its just you who's getting it wrong. I said very clearly that we were friends and he kept me hanging from the start.

He never said to me he's not over an ex. And she's not even an ex. She was just his classmate be be precise. I just found that on my own. He never said that to me. If anything I asked him twice and he said he has no feeling for anyone.

 

And he kept acting and giving mixed signals. He talked to me alot too, We met. There was always something wrong with him. He had depression and OCD and and the condition when you're afraid of becoming ill and some other diseases. I always related his behavior to these conditions.

 

He said he likes me, even when I after 6 months ended my friendship with him and delete him from FB because I thought its just a matter of time as he says but he started to flirt with others,saying he needs sex and say if he could have a relationship it would be with me, and why don't I get that. Even if he had sex it wouldn't mean anything. He just wants friends in his life.

 

 

I tried to understand him. Although it was difficult.

 

He stopped me from ending it. Then again he wouldn't meet me. And he would say he doesn't know why.

 

After that I thought he would may be not flirt in front of me and I couldn't stand seeing someone I love fliting, so I deleted him again and after fighting he said he would only date bad girls who use drug.(!)

 

Then just about weeks ago he said he wants to meet. But wouldn't act on it. I don't have any clue why he did the things he did.

 

I asked him several times and he said he doesn't know either.

 

He didn't just reject me. He tried to keep me too.

I had my doubts to see if he ever liked me so I asked him but he would get mad that i'm asking "emotional" questions.

And the answer wouldn't change anything so he wouldn't answer.

As in he meant I guess if he even liked me, he wouldn't date me so it doesn't matter.

 

Anyway I stayed friends but it was really hard I didn't want to be just friends. And until the couple of days ago that I saw that thing on the site and he called me stalker and never talked to me again.

 

Even in that site he has mentioned once he doesn't want to have any emotional relation with anyone. I have no idea why.

 

You see? I still think you wouldn't get it.

Edited August 28, 2012 by without

[without]

I really didn't understand his motive for the whole friendship. We had so much fun talking to each-other and I knew he liked it too. I had the best time discussing things with him.

 

As for my looks he said in that site that im beautiful.

 

So I really don't know why he would keep me in distance. He wouldn't give me a proper answer either. Things like I don't have the energy or I don't need it.

 

But anyway I mostly wanted to know if I had done a terrible thing telling him I knew what he wrote, cuz he had never ended things with me as in blocking me everywhere from my phone to my mail.

 

I regret that and I'm really damn sad.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Did you actually hang out with this guy in real life, or is this all happening online?

[without]

Trimmer

 

And as for the attachment, I was attached I spent everyday of a year talking to him.

 

And I loved his character, you don't have to be in a relationship to get attached.

[without]

Did you actually hang out with this guy in real life, or is this all happening online?

 

Both. We hang out in real life too of course.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Your posts are a bit incoherant. Let me see if I get the story:

 

You met a guy online.

 

You became friends.

 

He told you he wasn't interested in a relationship with you or anyone.

 

You thought he'd come around.

 

6 months in you cut contact with him and deleted him from your facebook ???? (WHY?)

 

He didn't come around.

 

You pressed.

 

He told you he didn't want to talk about emotions with you.

 

You pressed more.

 

He coldly cut you off.

 

You found him online and learned that he still has feelings for his ex.

 

You confronted him.

 

He blocked you from all means of contact.

 

You found a way to track him online anyway.

 

I am sorry that you were hurt, but now you are on the verge of actually being the creepy stalker he accused you of being. Spending your time trying to find him online every way you can think of when he's blocked you everywhere - stalkerish.

 

You need to stop now. No matter how much you feel for him, you don't need or want to be with a man who doesn't want to be with you, really. Open yourself up to be available for one who will.

[without]

I think you just don't read it completely.

So just read at least the last post.

 

Mme. Chaucer

And we were friends when I found him online. THEN he blocked me from everywhere. I did it because I couldn't understand why he keeps me in distance.Although he still wanted to keep me around.

[without]

These are the wrong parts. Although you're missing so much in between.

 

6 months in you cut contact with him and deleted him from your facebook ???? (WHY?) Because he actually said he needs time but a long time, I wouldn't think he would flirt and say he needs the sex. It broke my heart so i deleted him.

 

He didn't come around.

 

You pressed.

 

He told you he didn't want to talk about emotions with you. from the two weeks after friendship he said that but he wan't strict he would tell me he misses me too.

 

You pressed more.

 

He coldly cut you off. He never cut me off. He said he wouldn't date me because i'm not a bad girl or I don't use drugs. we were still friends.

 

You found him online and learned that he still has feelings for his ex.

 

You confronted him.

 

He blocked you from all means of contact.

[without]

But in any case when you're narrating like that you miss many things. Like what he has said , What he has done, or what I have done or said.

 

It's wrong.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Okay, thank you for clarifying. I feel bad for you because it's clear that you're hurting, but it's time to delete all his info and never hunt for him again. Let it go and heal your wounds. Good luck to you.

[without]

Okay, thank you for clarifying. I feel bad for you because it's clear that you're hurting, but it's time to delete all his info and never hunt for him again. Let it go and heal your wounds. Good luck to you.

 

Thanks. I never understood why he does what he does.

 

I'm just very sad that in the end he thinks I'm a creep.. But I just wanted to know why he did that..

 

I accept that if he loved me he wouldn't cut me off like that, but thats his first time, I didn't want him to think i'm some kind of monster...Even if he never liked me.

[oracle]

i did the most stupid thing.

i did the most stupid thing.

I really wanted to go out with a guy and after a year that he was saying he wouldn't because of some problems... I did a stupid thing and found out about is member of some site and in there he said he isn't over someone. i was really sad. so i told him. he had told me he doesnt love anyone. then he called me a scarrry stalker and he has blocked me everywhere.. I haven't slept last night sending him all messages but im blocked and i have no access to him in real life either...

 

I really regret what I did. I never wanted him to do that... **** ... I look like a creep to him after a year ... I just wanted to know how he feels so I checked.

Its like he has erased me from everywhere..

wha the hell have I done?...

 

I just wanna cry. I can't reach him anywhere... Its like I dont exist to him.

 

 

Sounds like he wasn't that interested in you made it fairly clear, multiple times (learn to take hints), yet you continued... to the point where you were searching out background info on him online.. then you made the mistake of sharing that with him?

 

 

You crossed the boundaries (obviously) with him, and he has done what he feels is necessary (cut every possible tie with you)

 

The if ands or buts are completely irrelevant at this point. You don't exist to him anymore. Have some self respect and return the favour.

Edited August 28, 2012 by oracle

[without]

Sounds like he wasn't that interested in you made it fairly clear, multiple times (learn to take hints), yet you continued... to the point where you were searching out background info on him online.. then you made the mistake of sharing that with him?

 

 

You crossed the boundaries (obviously) with him, and he has done what he feels is necessary (cut every possible tie with you)

 

The if ands or buts are completely irrelevant at this point. You don't exist to him anymore. Have some self respect and return the favour.

 

Great now I feel better, the person I was friends with for a year and talked to everyday, thinks I don't exist. Thanks for the feedback honey.

[without]

Do you enjoy making me more sad than I am already?

I feel like **** myself no need to remind me how he feels.

 

I regret saying it here, it made me feel worse.

[todreaminblue]

Do you enjoy making me more sad than I am already?

I feel like **** myself no need to remind me how he feels.

 

I regret saying it here, it made me feel worse.

Take what advice is useful for you and discard the rest dont take it to your heart.Give yourself some time to heal.If he comes back he comes back but the truth is he didnt treat you all that well.it was a bit cold...you seem warm hearted and emotional.... there are warm hearts out there waiting to be with you.......be with them or one of them you will ultimately be happier..an dfar more relaxed not so worried and more trusting ....warm hearts get hurt deeply with trust issues let him slide for a while.....be good to yourself says me.....ultimate hypocrite(meanings it easy for me to say harder for me to follow my own advice)..i am a classic worry wort....deb

[oracle]

Im Sorry you feel sad. Sad will pass. You will go on to have many more happy and sad times.

 

You need honest truth to process and move forward.

 

Do you want truth or lies?

 

Lies might make you feel good for 15 minutes, but if you aren't facing reality you arent gonna get very far dear.

 

Learn from this.

 

You want what you can't have.. Its a natural emotional response you are having because you now have NO control over the object of your attachment.

 

Breathe... It will get better.

[Trimmer]

Trimmer

I think its just you who's getting it wrong.

 

You see? I still think you wouldn't get it.

I probably wouldn't.

 

Best of luck to you in your healing.

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry to hear what's happened. Unfortunately, he mattered more to you than you mattered to him. He's obviously not the guy you thought he was. He may have thought you were stalking him, and to be fair you did let him know that effectively, but the best thing you can do now is to forget him. If you don't and you persist in trying to contact him, if only to say you didn't mean to give the impression you were stalking, you would only convince him all the more that that's what you were doing.

 

Forget him and find a guy who is genuinely interested in you. Once you close the door mentally on this guy, opportunities with others will arise.

[spiderowl]

The guy sounds very mixed up and was giving you confusing messages because he wanted your company and adoration but didn't want to give back. If you really like someone who is not responding and does not appear to want a relationship, the thing to do is to leave them and cut them out of your life. Once they realise you are not going to hang on to every word, they start rethinking things. This does not mean he would become interested in you necessarily, but he might learn to respect you. If a guy does not respect you, there is no chance of a mutually satisfying relationship. The guy should have to work for your attention and respect too.

 

But, the thing is, he does sound mixed up. He has been encouraging you in some ways and yet putting you off in others. He is also in love with someone else. Even if he did start to respect you and show an interest in you again, he is likely to keep messing your feelings around because he is mixed up inside anyway. You really don't need that. You need a kind guy who respects you and adores you, someone who makes you feel good and does not make you feel as if you have to change yourself or improve on yourself in order to be 'worthy' of a smite of his attention.

 

Believe me, once you respect yourself and look for good qualities in guys and expect them to treat you as someone special, you will find your relationships change dramatically for the better.

[without]

I really feel bad. Im not the kind of person to do these things but I have no idea why I did that. I thought he liked me but was having problems...

 

I feel stupid. And because in the last days I was pushing to ask the questions he hated "emotional question" he probably hstes me now.

 

I didnt want him to hate me nor think i dont exist.. He probably thinks im just an idiot. I guess after a year he wouldnt know me at all.

 

When i remember what he did and that he was just pretending when he didnt liked me at all, I want to cry. I always listen to what people say and try to think theyre honest..

 

Do you think i should block him on FB? he hasnt. Although i have no doubt at all that he has blocked my mail and number cuz after what happened i sent him many apologies and usually when someone sends him that much he would get really mad and tell to stop but he never did.