guys what is feminine?

[irin]

i see this everywhere guys talking about some girl being feminine, what exactly meant by feminine?

 

what are the traits? what exactly is it? what do you mean by it?

 

to me honestly, other than the old gender roles, i dont know how a woman cant be feminine unless, she decided to become a man, (literally).

[ptp]

Sofia Vergara is feminine, the way she moves, the way she dresses, the way carries herself.

 

Have you ever seen the show The Good Wife? On that show Julianna Margulies is very feminine.

 

Being feminine means a lot of things. A lot of it is knowing how to dress properly and doing your hair appropriately.

Knowing how to move, how to sit, acting with class, treating people right.

[carhill]

My relevant anecdote was damn my exW had a great ass but she walked like a man. Completely clueless about putting one foot in front of the other and swiveling her hips. Even in heels.

 

My short list would be mostly related to body language; posture, how she holds her head, her hands, thrusts her shoulders back and her bust out, etc, etc.

 

Damn, just saw Marsha Mason do it to Clint Eastwood....

[Feelsgoodman]

i see this everywhere guys talking about some girl being feminine, what exactly meant by feminine?

 

what are the traits? what exactly is it? what do you mean by it?

Think of the modern, "independent" woman who was raised with feminist values. Now imagine the exact opposite.

[GirlontheLam]

My relevant anecdote was damn my exW had a great ass but she walked like a man. Completely clueless about putting one foot in front of the other and swiveling her hips. Even in heels.

 

I totally hate this actually. I am not really hung up on gender roles, but I hate to see women clomping around! (I am female)

[GirlontheLam]

Think of the modern, "independent" woman who was raised with feminist values. Now imagine the exact opposite.

 

You can be feminine and feminist. And independent and feminine. There is no relationship between these things.

[rocketman122]

to me it means the opposite of a tomboy. no hippie girls, and no dreadlocks.

 

to me personally I love a woman who does her hair, makeup, wears sexy underwear. nails..not this huge stick on kind..especially the ones that are hugely squared at the end..uch. I would rather she has her natural nails, even if theyre very short. but a girl who wont leave the house till she spends a few minutes in the mirror to make herself pretty (even if were just going to the supermarket), but also for me. I too take the time to stay clean and dress nice so I can appreciate it when she does it.

 

high heels a must or sexy flat sandals but not cheap rubber flip flops. I toss them in the garbage and I go buy her something else. flats are also a big no no.

 

to me sex appeal is way more important than beauty. some woman have a lot of beauty, but arent sexy. there has to be something about her that drives me crazy. body smell is very important to me. I sometimes force my GF not to shower so I can smell her without all the lotion and perfume. her sweat from feet, armpits and pussykat..mmm

[todreaminblue]

i see this everywhere guys talking about some girl being feminine, what exactly meant by feminine?

 

what are the traits? what exactly is it? what do you mean by it?

 

to me honestly, other than the old gender roles, i dont know how a woman cant be feminine unless, she decided to become a man, (literally).

 

I think its not being agressive(waiting to be asked) enjoying men being men and letting them be men even though equality is what they believe in sometimes men want to do nice things and be aprreciated for it.and i dotn mean materialistically...

 

that's femininity appreciating masculinity but not wanting to be that...........Its knowing the way your body moves and how you can control that movement to be ultra feminine..its not in heels i think its barefoot...i think femininity is mystery surrounded with allure.

 

barefoot, hair out with sand beneath your feet ,your toes in the in the water with your eyes closed appreciating being a woman..........is that a feminine description..femininity is romantic..i think so anyway.....deb

[rocketman122]

think of the modern, "independent" woman who was raised with feminist values.

No thank you. stay away from me. many of them will continue to stay independent for a long time. many of these woman intimidate men. I dont not believe both genders are equal. each gender has their strong traits. we are not equal. woman are better at certain things and men are better in others.

 

Now imagine the exact opposite.

yes please..just point to where she is, i'll do the rest. these are the woman I date. traditional thinking.I love it when a woman wants to "lean" on me. when I can help her with stuff around the house. where she lets me be the man. she lets me lead. she lets me chivalrous, be the gentlemen. I will "hold" her.

 

she appreciates it when I bring her a bouquet of roses (one I dated didnt flinch when I brought them to her) and she as a woman is gentle, becomes submissive in lovemaking. knows how to be sensitive and fragile at times. loves holding hands, very romantic. wants the man to lead, and sometimes is dependent on her man. wants a masculine man, not macho god forbid.

[Feelsgoodman]

You can be feminine and feminist. And independent and feminine. There is no relationship between these things.

Says a woman who hates it when other women don't walk like men. Obviously, your idea of femininity is very different from that of a man. As for being "feminine and feminist" at the same time, thanks for the good laugh!

[GirlontheLam]

Says a woman who hates it when other women don't walk like men. Obviously, your idea of femininity is very different from that of a man. As for being "feminine and feminist" at the same time, thanks for the good laugh!

 

Feminism is about having a choice. I can choose to be independent, take care of myself, make my own money, appreciate chivalry, wear dresses, wear pants. take the lead or let someone else take the lead. Feminism gives me an option to choose.

 

But I will fully admit, I am perfectly happy to let the men take charge in many situations. And I am fully aware I am capable of handing things on my own.

 

The idea that feminism is the antithesis to femininity is a male misconception.

[StillReigning]

Feminism is about having a choice. I can choose to be independent, take care of myself, make my own money, appreciate chivalry, wear dresses, wear pants. take the lead or let someone else take the lead. Feminism gives me an option to choose.

 

But I will fully admit, I am perfectly happy to let the men take charge in many situations. And I am fully aware I am capable of handing things on my own.

 

The idea that feminism is the antithesis to femininity is a male misconception.

 

 

This is the kind of personality I prefer in a woman. Sometimes I want to lead and other times, I'm a little unsure of what the best route is. I like having an intelligent lady who can take the lead sometimes too

 

 

I have no problem with the 50/50 thing though I would like to make enough money to where my wife can just be home alone and focus on taking care of the house and kids and let me focus on taking care of the money. I have no problem with real feminism where people do their best to maximize each other's happiness - I suppose I'm somewhat traditional and somewhat modern

[espec10001]

Feminine receives, masculine projects.

[Jane2011]

I'm a feminist, for sure. I don't plan to change my last name to any man's last name. I'm not even sure I want to get married. I just joined a feminist group and am supposed to attend the first meeting on 9/9. I usually read about four or five books at once (I have to read tons because I'm a teacher, but I also read for enjoyment/my own knowledge too). Three or four books I'm currently reading are about feminism. Black Feminist Thought, The New Feminist Agenda, and Desiring Revolution (about 70s feminism and sexuality).

 

I think I'm becoming more and more hardcore feminist. I say the word "patriarchy" so much more than I ever did before (in disapproval, mind you). That said, the girl who was posting above me is right that feminism is about choice. It doesn't mean you're anything in particular; it just means you have a right to choose what you want to be, etc. I was watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile just the other night, and one of the girl students somewhat puts 'typical' feminist-oriented Julia Roberts in her place, telling her, "I choose to put being a wife and mother before anything else. You once told me I could be anything I wanted. You're right. I can be anything I want. And this is what I want. I want a family, and that doesn't make me any less deep than anyone else. It doesn't make me less smart, either. And it doesn't mean I don't have a soul."

 

So yeah. Feminism is about choice. It's about a lot of other things, too. It's about alleviating oppressed groups of people, often including men.

 

I'm not sure why people have such a bad idea of feminism. It's not meant to be man-hating nor is it necessarily aggressive to a fault.

 

I'm a feminist but very girly. I wear dresses and skirts all the damn time. I get giddy when I like a new boy (I just now purposely said boy even though I'm in my 30s). When I'm in a relationship, I just want to make him happy. I'm still very feminist and am annoyed by people who like patriarchal social structures. Or ones who believe women should stay home taking care of babies and cleaning the house. It's just so old-fashioned.

 

Women shouldn't be ridiculed if they are aggressive or loud. We're all human beings. We should be allowed to have a variety of personal traits. I would say I can be aggressive. But I'm also very soft and gentle. Men shouldn't be allowed to only be "manly" things like strong, capable, and aggressive. They should be allowed to be gentle, emotional, nurturing too. And so should women be allowed to have aggressive, loud, dominant sides to their personalities. Why condemn people for being human?

[Feelsgoodman]

The idea that feminism is the antithesis to femininity is a male misconception.

That's your opinion and you are certainly entitled to it, but I disagree completely. Those of us who have studied the history, goals and methods of the feminist movement know that there is absolutely nothing feminine about it. Feminism is essentially an offshoot of communism. Both work very well in theory; less so in practice.

[espec10001]

I'm a feminist, for sure. I don't plan to change my last name to any man's last name. I'm not even sure I want to get married. I just joined a feminist group and am supposed to attend the first meeting on 9/9. I usually read about four or five books at once (I have to read tons because I'm a teacher, but I also read for enjoyment/my own knowledge too). Three or four books I'm currently reading are about feminism. Black Feminist Thought, The New Feminist Agenda, and Desiring Revolution (about 70s feminism and sexuality).

 

I think I'm becoming more and more hardcore feminist. I say the word "patriarchy" so much more than I ever did before (in disapproval, mind you). That said, the girl who was posting above me is right that feminism is about choice. It doesn't mean you're anything in particular; it just means you have a right to choose what you want to be, etc. I was watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile just the other night, and one of the girl students somewhat puts 'typical' feminist-oriented Julia Roberts in her place, telling her, "I choose to put being a wife and mother before anything else. You once told me I could be anything I wanted. You're right. I can be anything I want. And this is what I want. I want a family, and that doesn't make me any less deep than anyone else. It doesn't make me less smart, either. And it doesn't mean I don't have a soul."

 

So yeah. Feminism is about choice. It's about a lot of other things, too. It's about alleviating oppressed groups of people, often including men.

 

I'm not sure why people have such a bad idea of feminism. It's not meant to be man-hating nor is it necessarily aggressive to a fault.

 

I'm a feminist but very girly. I wear dresses and skirts all the damn time. I get giddy when I like a new boy (I just now purposely said boy even though I'm in my 30s). When I'm in a relationship, I just want to make him happy. I'm still very feminist and am annoyed by people who like patriarchal social structures. Or ones who believe women should stay home taking care of babies and cleaning the house. It's just so old-fashioned.

 

Women shouldn't be ridiculed if they are aggressive or loud. We're all human beings. We should be allowed to have a variety of personal traits. I would say I can be aggressive. But I'm also very soft and gentle. Men shouldn't be allowed to only be "manly" things like strong, capable, and aggressive. They should be allowed to be gentle, emotional, nurturing too. And so should women be allowed to have aggressive, loud, dominant sides to their personalities. Why condemn people for being human?

 

You don't understand men at all.

[kaylan]

i see this everywhere guys talking about some girl being feminine, what exactly meant by feminine?

 

what are the traits? what exactly is it? what do you mean by it?

 

to me honestly, other than the old gender roles, i dont know how a woman cant be feminine unless, she decided to become a man, (literally).

Masculinity and femininity are both subjective. What is or isnt considered feminine varies based upon culture. So tbh, just be who you are. Gender roles are constantly changing through time anyways. Women used to have body hair and it was no big deal (still isnt in most nations), and men used to wear heels, wigs, and makeup.

 

So yeah...aside from typical natural hormone induced behaviors like higher agression in men and higher emotions in women....everything else I think are learned traits and mannerisms.

[Feelsgoodman]

I was watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile just the other night, and one of the girl students somewhat puts 'typical' feminist-oriented Julia Roberts in her place, telling her, "I choose to put being a wife and mother before anything else. You once told me I could be anything I wanted. You're right. I can be anything I want. And this is what I want. I want a family, and that doesn't make me any less deep than anyone else. It doesn't make me less smart, either. And it doesn't mean I don't have a soul."

 

So yeah. Feminism is about choice. It's about a lot of other things, too. It's about alleviating oppressed groups of people, often including men.

The girl in your example did make a choice, alright. She chose not to be a feminist.

 

I'm not sure why people have such a bad idea of feminism. It's not meant to be man-hating nor is it necessarily aggressive to a fault.

Considering the source (an admitted "hardcore" feminist), it's hard to take your claims seriously. If a neo-nazi told you that fascism unfairly gets a bad rep, would you take him at his word? What about Kim Jong-il saying that North Korea is a working man's paradise? Are we supposed to accept that without questioning his motives?

[kaylan]

Also let me add;

 

 

What I consider masculine and feminine are natural things like body shape, voice, height, agression, empathy, etc. These are things that in general most men and women have in common within their sex....ie...deeper voices in men or shorter height in women. Other than natural physical traits, I think everything else is dictated by society and varies upon culture as I said.

[GirlontheLam]

That's your opinion and you are certainly entitled to it, but I disagree completely. Those of us who have studied the history, goals and methods of the feminist movement know that there is absolutely nothing feminine about it. Feminism is essentially an offshoot of communism. Both work very well in theory; less so in practice.

 

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect I am going to get paid as much as a man doing the same job. There are some reasonable expectations.

 

I am completely an independent woman, this was a really important life lesson from my mom. She didn't want me to be SOL because a man had all the power and the control in my life.

 

This frees me up to choose the right partner, because I want to be with him. Not because I need to, so he can provide for me.

 

A gentleman should choose to treat a woman like a lady, because she deserves it, not because she is incapable on her own.

 

I love it when a man opens the door, pulls out the chair and serves as a protector. But I don't need a man for only that purpose.

[espec10001]

This forum really amuses me. Almost every thread turns into a men vs. women generalization. Let's forget about feminine and masculine, and consider what the sexes have in common! We both breath, we both eat, we both drink. Hey, we both sleep, eat, ****, fight, ****, fall down, get up, have 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, teeth, two ears, and skin. That's right, some good ol' plop of covering for those damn organs of ours like hearts and blood!

 

Oh, we both got hair too. Neither of us can breath underwater and fire hurts us when we touch it. Bears are dangerous, lions will eat you, and monkeys will go after both sex's private parts if provoked into a mad frenzy of bestial indulgence!

 

All in all, I'd say a pretty strange coincidence!

[Els]

Why the fsvck is a thread about feminity derailing into feminism AGAIN?

 

Masculinity and femininity are both subjective. What is or isnt considered feminine varies based upon culture. So tbh, just be who you are. Gender roles are constantly changing through time anyways. Women used to have body hair and it was no big deal (still isnt in most nations), and men used to wear heels, wigs, and makeup.

 

So yeah...aside from typical natural hormone induced behaviors like higher agression in men and higher emotions in women....everything else I think are learned traits and mannerisms.

 

I concur completely with this. For instance, in some cultures, some of the things mentioned here (girls with painted nails, high heels, sexy dresses, etc) are the antithesis of feminity. A 'feminine' woman there is one who dresses and acts chastely, not sexily.

 

My opinion of feminity and masculinity is completely unrelated to the exterior. A feminine woman, in my opinion, is one who is gentle, kind, refined and soft-spoken, emotionally open, nurturing, speaks and acts with poise and class, seeks to accomplish things through quiet competence and gentle, positive ways whenever possible. A masculine man, in my opinion, is one who takes pride in protecting and providing, is aggressive against those who would seek to threaten the people he is protecting, stoic and steadfast in his values and decisions.

 

That being said, I don't think everyone needs to be as feminine or as masculine as possible, in relationships. I think many of us like a balance - a woman might like a man with emotional sensitivity or who prefers to split bills, and a man might like a woman with a tomboyish disposition, or the ability to laugh at crude jokes.

[kaylan]

The girl in your example did make a choice, alright. She chose not to be a feminist.

Wrong. Feminism is about choice. By having a choice and believing in a womans right to chose and believing in a womans right to be equal, the girl still chose feminism.

Considering the source (an admitted "hardcore" feminist), it's hard to take your claims seriously. If a neo-nazi told you that fascism unfairly gets a bad rep, would you take him at his word? What about Kim Jong-il saying that North Korea is a working man's paradise? Are we supposed to accept that without questioning his motives?

Considering the source? It seems you have a hard time discerning between true feminism, and misandrist feminism. Learn the difference.

 

And to be honest, Jane's comments hold more weight than yours ever will. She identifies as a hardcore feminism who believes in a womens right to choice and equality....thats a lot better than a guy like you who constantly yaps on misandry yet is highly misogynistic himself. Your posting history is clear of this, not to mention your ignorant signature thats at the bottom of your typically dreadful posts. While in contrast, I dont see the hardcore feminist Jane behaving the way you do, or the way you think most feminists do. Are things more clearer to you yet?

 

And to compare feminism to nazism and fascism shows how misguided and ignorant you are of what feminism truly is. I award you no points sir, we are all dumber from having read your post, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Edited August 27, 2012 by kaylan

[Woggle]

Think of the typical stereotype of a militant manhating feminist and then think of the opposite. I am not talking about the average feminist who believes in equality and reproductive rights and all that but the kind of woman who uses the word patriarchy in every other sentence and simply shows no empathy towards men on anything. Many of these types can look feminine but don't act like that.

 

A feminine woman is the opposite of that.

 

Also while feminism is not about manhating there are certainly elements who have done their best to further that stereotype.

[Greznog]

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect I am going to get paid as much as a man doing the same job. There are some reasonable expectations.

 

Which you do and have for quite some time. Provided you work the same hours, have the same level of education and experience.

 

Which most women don't, they want to work part time, have a child or two and take personal days to align their 7th Chakra while the moons of Atlantis are in retrograde orbit.

 

I am completely an independent woman, this was a really important life lesson from my mom. She didn't want me to be SOL because a man had all the power and the control in my life.

 

This frees me up to choose the right partner, because I want to be with him. Not because I need to, so he can provide for me.

 

Sure.

 

A gentleman should choose to treat a woman like a lady, because she deserves it, not because she is incapable on her own.

 

I love it when a man opens the door, pulls out the chair and serves as a protector. But I don't need a man for only that purpose.

 

More men would act like gentlemen if they got a lady in return.