ihateslowjams Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Is it normal to still not able to talk to women after 3 months of NC/post-BU? I just recently went to Vegas and could not find 1 attractive lady. A few came up to me, began a conversation, and I was almost immediately uninterested. After the whole weekend, I did not find 1 girl that captured my attention as much as my ex. I spent time at the nightclubs and day clubs. Even seeing girls in bikinis, they still didn't keep me distracted. Really now, is this how its going to be? I couldn't even find a girl to keep me distracted longer than 1 minute... I practically missed my ex more than ever and made me realize what I once had... this blows. Link to post Share on other sites
InAFog Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Sorry, no advice. Just makes me glad to see guys that aren't dirtballs trying to hop into anyones pants after a BU. Gives hope to not have to deal with a "trust complex" after all this crap to see all you guys in the same boat with feelings. Hang in there! Transition. It doesn't happen right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ihateslowjams Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Sorry, no advice. Just makes me glad to see guys that aren't dirtballs trying to hop into anyones pants after a BU. Gives hope to not have to deal with a "trust complex" after all this crap to see all you guys in the same boat with feelings. Hang in there! Transition. It doesn't happen right away. Im trying, but the whole weekend I missed her like crazy since I was wishing she came with me instead. Link to post Share on other sites
InAFog Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Same. I can't even go out to eat without thinking how much fun we would have just sittin across the table from each other and wishing he was there. Normal everyday activities can't even be normal. Sucks. Big time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
atarisboy86 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Right here with you all. It's been almost three weeks since the breakup and the thought of even having sex or being intimate with anyone disgusts me. A former fwb invited me to her place and I had to turn her down...it just didn't feel "right". I too will just ride it out and wait for these feelings, or lackthereof to change. Link to post Share on other sites
LostJustLost Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Im not very good at giving advice so no advice here either, Im afraid.. just understanding. My story is a common one, he left, I fell apart and the emotional train wreck was on. 3 months in "heart's time" is nothing, my guess is it's just too soon for yall to be anything but hollow inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Occu3.14'd Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I'm right there with you. It's been almost 2 months since the BU, and I still can't even look at other women. The thought of intimacy with anyone other than her literally makes me nauseous. Link to post Share on other sites
SeventhFloor Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 slowjams, I've been there through your posts... and you're doing awesome. I was in the same boat. My ex was hot. I thought she ruined other girls for me...for the longest time, not a single girl was attractive... Recently I met this girl, well, re-connected with this girl i've known for many, many years...and she makes me completely forget about my ex. Meeting her has actually made me move on a lot faster because I realize that there's other girls who are special and attractive and who would like me too... I barely think about my ex that much anymore and if I do, it's anger at her stupidity or indifference. Its been almost 2 months. Then again, she cheated, so it's easier. But anyways. I was in this same boat. Then I realized...THERE ARE SO MANY GIRLS OUT THERE! And one, at LEAST one, is going to capture your attention and make you forget about that other girl who is not even worth your time... Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 i have to say this.................... RELATIONSHIPS AND WOMEN ARE NOT EVERYTHING!!!!!.............. Link to post Share on other sites
pathetic1999 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I am the same way, it's been three and a half months and I cannot even think of being with another guy. Guys come up to me and I am just like ugh, that's SO NOT ME, I feel like this break up really did something to me... Link to post Share on other sites
mistermr Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I'm the same here. I got so used to blurring girls out when I was with my ex that it's like I'm learning to see again. I'm not really the flirtatious type but I've been forcing myself to pluck up the courage and it does make me feel better, even if I intend for it not to go anywhere. I can't quite imagine being intimate with anyone yet but with everyday my ex fades out of the picture and other girls are replacing her. Which is great. I shouldn't sit here feeling guilty whilst she's out there ****ing other guys, it's illogical. I suppose it's partly because I've never been that way anyway. I like the old scholo approach of taking things slow. I'm currently talking to a girl through text, there's no pressure from either side and it's just fun, and that's what life should be. I hope everything feels better soon. You no longer have that ball and chain attached to you. YOU ARE FREE Link to post Share on other sites
Author ihateslowjams Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 Thanks guys for the support and including testimonies that prove Im not alone in this. I recently started school with 18 units, which is keeping me distracted for now. There was a girl in one of my classes though that eye-f**ked the s**t out of me... we'll see how that goes. Should I stay away since Im older than the majority in school? or it shouldn't matter? Link to post Share on other sites
winstonsdreams Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I honestly think you have to give it time, and do things at your own pace. Rushing into things will only cause yourself and others harm. I stupidly got involved with a girl soon and it brought up some awful emotions. I ended it on bad terms 2 days ago and feel terrible, she now hates me. Whether it is 3 months or 6 months please take your time people! Link to post Share on other sites
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