Romanticlove263 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I get angry sometimes when women choose the unstable guys over the husband/father type material.The ones that will treat you well and stick with you forever not cheat on you. My explanation for these kind of things in our society is that most women just like men become ready for a committed relationship after a certain age. The reason to this conclusion is after talking too many guys you get the same response " why now" " why the rush" when you tell them you are looking for a long term relationship its as if nowadays women feel that commitment is like cage which stops you from having fun. Out of many women i have ever encountered between 20 -30 age most of them wanted a sexual relationship. All my female friends are those who l approached found out that they wanted casual sex relationships but when i mention i am looking for a long term relationship the next day you get text saying " lets just be friends" lol At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success? Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At the age when he accepts that women are human beings, just like him, and can make their own set of mistakes and life experiences. At the age when he discovers that women don't simply what "nice" men for the sake of stability but that they want real love, passion, excitment and yes, stability with a good man and doesn't have anger over her wanting those qualities. It is infact a VERY positive thing that women don't simply want stable guys that are good husbands/father. Would you really want to be with a woman that only wanted you for those qualities? Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you? This website might help you. I really like this guy's advice myself most of the time. Paging Dr. NerdLove 4 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Never. That's when he wins. By the time you get to be age 28-32 or so, most of the really cool women who want decent guys and want relationships are all taken. All you're left with are party girls and those with baggage from failed relationships/marriages, both types are probably in denial about being attracted to bad boys. So even if you do date them, they'll just leave you for those types anyway. Sorry pal. That's just how it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Never. That's when he wins. By the time you get to be age 28-32 or so, most of the really cool women who want decent guys and want relationships are all taken. All you're left with are party girls and those with baggage from failed relationships/marriages, both types are probably in denial about being attracted to bad boys. So even if you do date them, they'll just leave you for those types anyway. Sorry pal. That's just how it is. Thtat's true. Because we all know anyone in a relationship is totally soudn and healthy. That is why divorce never happens, cheating never happens, nothing ever happens...anyone in a relationship is in one because they are a perfectly healthy, well rounded individual. We good on the sarcasm now? It totally pisses me off when people make the assumption that one's ability to be in a relationship is indicitive of their health. I have known a number of girls that could easily lure guys into relationships, and remain in such relationships, even though these girls where the furthest thing from healthy. Men will put up with a lot of a girl is hot enough. Also, for your assumption to be correct, that would mean that most relationships are healthy. Yet we don't see that reflected in a high divorce rate or how many people cheat within relationships. So if you want to believe all the good ones are taken, you can. But I have seen dysfunctional relationships operate at all levels. Even ones where people have been together 20+ years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I get angry sometimes when women choose the unstable guys over the husband/father type material.The ones that will treat you well and stick with you forever not cheat on you. My explanation for these kind of things in our society is that most women just like men become ready for a committed relationship after a certain age. The reason to this conclusion is after talking too many guys you get the same response " why now" " why the rush" when you tell them you are looking for a long term relationship its as if nowadays women feel that commitment is like cage which stops you from having fun. Out of many women i have ever encountered between 20 -30 age most of them wanted a sexual relationship. All my female friends are those who l approached found out that they wanted casual sex relationships but when i mention i am looking for a long term relationship the next day you get text saying " lets just be friends" lol At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success? I agree, any man can be a dad and there are many good fathers......fro a lasting relationship there has to be a spark either a nurtured spark or a spark that was lit from attraction from the beginning....theres no use having a father around who you end up being bored with and then you have this running back line of fathers in and out of your kids lives.....fun is key and having a whole key ring of keys,fun passion excitement understanding, loving the quiet time the away time all the time mutual respect loving kids compromise dedication accepting of mistakes, we all make them.....progress you have to inject every new day with a fresh perspective......whther it be lets do routine today and at the end of that routine day do something spontaneous out of th ebleu where th epartner goes wow what was that for......then you can say....no reason....just felt like it.....a relationship is a living breathing thing....it needs to be nurtured and fed loved and cared for ....blue skies ....on rainy days and light for the darkest times....it must survive............all keys.....are for the same door....mutual happiness i dotn need a father for my girls........i can be mother and father dotn particularly like it but i have done it....with many failures like two parents would have....i need someone who loves my kids and loves and respects me, is passionate about being with me....and i will give it back exactly how i get it....the kids then grow up seeing a real awesome inspiring relationship that survives all life has to chuck at it all the curve balls....and the balls that are just knocked out of the park with shared strength..with a smile and a new day every day..with the help of god above and faith in what you cant feel adn see but come to love anyway..faith in love and above..deb Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you? I would prefer an exciting woman, yes. But if a nice woman who was kinda funny and kinda nice and kinda smart, but a little boring, I'd date her. Who knows how long it would last? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Thtat's true. Because we all know anyone in a relationship is totally soudn and healthy. That is why divorce never happens, cheating never happens, nothing ever happens...anyone in a relationship is in one because they are a perfectly healthy, well rounded individual. We good on the sarcasm now? It totally pisses me off when people make the assumption that one's ability to be in a relationship is indicitive of their health. I have known a number of girls that could easily lure guys into relationships, and remain in such relationships, even though these girls where the furthest thing from healthy. Men will put up with a lot of a girl is hot enough. Also, for your assumption to be correct, that would mean that most relationships are healthy. Yet we don't see that reflected in a high divorce rate or how many people cheat within relationships. So if you want to believe all the good ones are taken, you can. But I have seen dysfunctional relationships operate at all levels. Even ones where people have been together 20+ years. What does that have to do with what I said? Most people (notice I say "most", there are exceptions by why focus on them?) who are catches tend to get married by their late 20s early 30s. Those who don't are a) people with lots of baggage b) people who like being single and c) people who are socially awkward. "Nice guys" usually fall into category C. If you're a single guy or girl at say age 35 looking for a really cool person to date and eventually marry...good luck to you. You're going to need it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success? When he develops his strengths as a 'nice guy' into the style of a 'good man' whom women find attractive. Same elemental core, different style. It works. Age-wise, absent meaningful social interaction, it could be well into 30's or later. IMO, even if unsuccessful, if one is willing to learn from those experiences, it's one's 20's which define the potential for success. Looking back, it wasn't that I lacked for opportunity, but rather it was a rather narrow viewpoint regarding relationships which inhibited me, as it was outlier to social norms. Interesting how the mirror works. It's different for each of us. At the other end, I will say I greatly value the friendships I maintained during that whole period, to this day. In that regard, I'm glad I didn't put too many of my eggs into the romantic relationship basket. Nowadays, living is winning. YMMV. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Vintage79 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 In response to the last poster. I'm 33, and newly single -recently out of a long relationship (~6 yrs). Over that six year period, yes, the dating pool has changed, and so have I. While yes, the number of single women is smaller, I find that there are still plenty that are looking for great guys - moreover, they realize that the pool is smaller, so they're willing to give you more time/effort to try to get things to work. While that's nice on some level, it can also be counterproductive at times -as if you're not attracted to them on the first date or two - you probably won't be, or at least it will be a very slow process. Oh yeah, and do be careful, there are plenty of women left over from the party days that have wildly unrealistic expectations... Regardless, in my view it seems that "nice guys" will do better in their early 30s relative to their early 20s. In the same breadth, if you're the super nice guy, you'll still get friended - there has to be an attraction at some point, and unfortunatley, "the nice guy, do everything the woman wants", while it works for some women [maybe you'll get lucky and find one], it doesn't work for the majority...there needs to be a bit of challenge, mystery - because if you come across as too easy, the natural assumption is that the person can do better. When I say challenge - I don't necessarily mean playing hard to get. Truthfully, at my age, playing hard to get will not work [at least well], unless you're looking for a fling. Anyhow, to the OP - yes, sometimes women choose the unstable guy, but often times they choose an amazing guy - it's just easy to dwell on the women that have made a mistake and generalize to the whole population. If what you say were the case, by the time that you got to your 30s/40s, the only guys that would be left are the amazing guys...meaning that women would have a field day...that's definitely not the case. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Most people (notice I say "most", there are exceptions by why focus on them?) who are catches tend to get married by their late 20s early 30s. Those who don't are a) people with lots of baggage b) people who like being single and c) people who are socially awkward. "Nice guys" usually fall into category C. If you're a single guy or girl at say age 35 looking for a really cool person to date and eventually marry...good luck to you. You're going to need it. Seriously - how old ARE YOU? There is a whole slew of people who have gone through bad relationships in their 20s and find themselves single in their 30s - and 40s and 50s! - who are "really cool." Baggage? Sure - that is called life experience and in many people, makes them more capable of strong, intelligent and loving relationships. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Greznog Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Roughly around 35 to 40. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I think the only way to "win" is not play the game -- meaning accept who you are and what you want and persevere even if it seems that you'll never "catch up" to the experience level that other guys seem to have. Of course that's easier said than done . . . Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Seriously - how old ARE YOU? There is a whole slew of people who have gone through bad relationships in their 20s and find themselves single in their 30s - and 40s and 50s! - who are "really cool." Baggage? Sure - that is called life experience and in many people, makes them more capable of strong, intelligent and loving relationships. Old enough to know truth vs fiction. First of all you have to realize this: "nice guys" are not exactly rich in relationship experience. They cannot and will not be able to handle women who have "life experience". They can't. It's just not possible. It's two entirely different worlds trying to be compatible. So they have two choices really: try to date someone who is relatively low on life experience or try to make it work with those experienced people. Tell you the truth though: option two is just not going to work. And there really aren't that many inexperienced people past age 21 at least in the US. In that sense, "nice guys" are not ever going to "win", to answer the OP's question. Link to post Share on other sites
Greznog Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Old enough to know truth vs fiction. First of all you have to realize this: "nice guys" are not exactly rich in relationship experience. They cannot and will not be able to handle women who have "life experience". They can't. It's just not possible. It's two entirely different worlds trying to be compatible. So they have two choices really: try to date someone who is relatively low on life experience or try to make it work with those experienced people. Tell you the truth though: option two is just not going to work. And there really aren't that many inexperienced people past age 21 at least in the US. In that sense, "nice guys" are not ever going to "win", to answer the OP's question. Unless, as I recommend, they use their time building a career so they can then proceed to date women at least a decade younger. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 When they find a women who also finds them physically attractive and not just nice Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I've been winning since I was 18. So the answer is 18. Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue Box Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At the age when he accepts that women are human beings, just like him, and can make their own set of mistakes and life experiences. At the age when he discovers that women don't simply what "nice" men for the sake of stability but that they want real love, passion, excitment and yes, stability with a good man and doesn't have anger over her wanting those qualities. It is infact a VERY positive thing that women don't simply want stable guys that are good husbands/father. Would you really want to be with a woman that only wanted you for those qualities? Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you? This website might help you. I really like this guy's advice myself most of the time. Paging Dr. NerdLove Very good points and I agree. Would any man want to date a "sweet girl"? I wouldn't. The term "sweet girl", much like the term "nice guy" is just another term for someone that is socially awkward and is never dating material. When a "Sweet girl" and a "nice guy" date it generally ends in disaster within a few months, resulting in two broken hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success? At the age when he has gained enough experience to know which type of women to avoid and also when he has learned to not be the stereotypical 'nice guy' and to have a spine. That age will vary for everyone. Personally I was 23 when I came to the realization. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
paperboy48 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 They want good men that have some excitment. could this be defined? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At the age when he has gained enough experience to know which type of women to avoid and also when he has learned to not be the stereotypical 'nice guy' and to have a spine. That age will vary for everyone. Personally I was 23 when I came to the realization. I was 19 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Old enough to know truth vs fiction. You evaded a direct question. And one person's truth could very well be another's fiction - and you know that. First of all you have to realize this: "nice guys" are not exactly rich in relationship experience. They cannot and will not be able to handle women who have "life experience". They can't. It's just not possible. I believe you are 100% wrong. And you contradict yourself by saying "It's just not possible and then add this caveat: So they have two choices really: try to date someone who is relatively low on life experience or try to make it work with those experienced people. Because it IS possible. Tell you the truth though: option two is just not going to work. And there really aren't that many inexperienced people past age 21 at least in the US. In that sense, "nice guys" are not ever going to "win", to answer the OP's question. I can give you two examples of where you are wrong. First - my own current relationship. I am the one with the experience and I am dating a "nice guy" (from your definition). And we are doing just fine with him having to "make it work." I know so many people that fly in the face of your examples as to be laughable. I know guys who have never been married who are "nice guys" and I know women who are relatively inexperienced without baggage. I can't emphasize how wrong I think you are with your assessments and generalizations and can only assume it is because you are young and haven't learned otherwise. But since you won't tell me how old you are.... Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 You evaded a direct question. And one person's truth could very well be another's fiction - and you know that. I believe you are 100% wrong. And you contradict yourself by saying "It's just not possible and then add this caveat: Because it IS possible. I can give you two examples of where you are wrong. First - my own current relationship. I am the one with the experience and I am dating a "nice guy" (from your definition). And we are doing just fine with him having to "make it work." I know so many people that fly in the face of your examples as to be laughable. I know guys who have never been married who are "nice guys" and I know women who are relatively inexperienced without baggage. I can't emphasize how wrong I think you are with your assessments and generalizations and can only assume it is because you are young and haven't learned otherwise. But since you won't tell me how old you are.... I'm 12. What do you think? I'm 24 years old. But really, age has nothing to do with it. I know for myself for example that I would never want to date someone who had an excessive amount of relationships/experience. Some experience? Yes. But not an excessive amount. Because let's be honest someone who has been married and divorced or had a serious relationship is not going to want nor is going to have much in common with someone who has little to none (in my case I've never even kissed a girl). In what bizarre world would that "relationship" going to get off the ground? Answer: it's not. I'm not as sheltered as I may seem on here. I have friends I know people. I've only ever met one person over age 22 who ended up finding someone to date after being completely inexperienced up to that age. Never. Do they exist? Sure, but it's very rare. Link to post Share on other sites
Later82012 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success? When she has tried all the men in the town that are interested in her and when no man is interested in her anymore. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Content Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Only in movies and online do i see this theory that women dont like nice men..I dont know how many times ive won women over by being a "sweetheart" according to them.. Are there some women who are turned off by nicness or who like jerks? sure but they arent women youd want to be around anyway.. Link to post Share on other sites
Later82012 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success? Whenever the nice guy is ready to use them and dump them. Link to post Share on other sites
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