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At what age does the "Nice guy" begin to win?


Romanticlove263

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:rolleyes: I'm 12. What do you think? I'm 24 years old.

 

But really, age has nothing to do with it.

Of course it does - but being the wise old 24-year old that you are, you won't be able to even consider an alternative perspective for another decade or two.

 

And the fact that you have never kissed a girl speaks volumes about "this ability to know fact from fiction."

 

I've never even kissed a girl

Contradicts this:

I'm not as sheltered as I may seem on here.

 

Because let's be honest someone who has been married and divorced or had a serious relationship is not going to want nor is going to have much in common with someone who has little to none (in my case I've never even kissed a girl). In what bizarre world would that "relationship" going to get off the ground? Answer: it's not.

I am honest here. I have been married, divorced and slept with HUNDREDS of guys. And I am in a very, very serious relationship with a man who can count his partners on one hand.

 

Our partnership has gotten "off the ground" on all the other aspects of our interests, personality, and desires. We have that much more in common than my baggage.

 

 

I am going to try and stop convincing you because it is obvious I can't. You won't be able to see another perspective for several years...

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truth_seeker

I would say a woman wants a good man with some swagger. A man would keeps them on their toes, can excite them, but also feel safe and secure with them, too.

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fortyninethousand322

I am going to try and stop convincing you because it is obvious I can't. You won't be able to see another perspective for several years...

 

:rolleyes: In several years I'm not going to want anything to do with anyone who would be willing to date me. That kind of desperation is a huge turn off. I'm not sharing myself with someone who wouldn't give me the time of day before. That's stupid. And, as I said for most people (you apparently being an exception here) it just won't work.

 

Also, just because I've never kissed a girl doesn't mean I'm sheltered. It means I've never kissed a girl before.

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Romanticlove263
At the age when he accepts that women are human beings, just like him, and can make their own set of mistakes and life experiences. At the age when he discovers that women don't simply what "nice" men for the sake of stability but that they want real love, passion, excitment and yes, stability with a good man and doesn't have anger over her wanting those qualities. It is infact a VERY positive thing that women don't simply want stable guys that are good husbands/father. Would you really want to be with a woman that only wanted you for those qualities?

 

Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you?

 

This website might help you. I really like this guy's advice myself most of the time.

 

Paging Dr. NerdLove

 

To me a nice guy and good man are the same thing. We have to be careful when we say "women" not all women are the same and want the same thing.

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What does that have to do with what I said?

 

Most people (notice I say "most", there are exceptions by why focus on them?) who are catches tend to get married by their late 20s early 30s. Those who don't are a) people with lots of baggage b) people who like being single and c) people who are socially awkward. "Nice guys" usually fall into category C.

 

If you're a single guy or girl at say age 35 looking for a really cool person to date and eventually marry...good luck to you. You're going to need it.

 

More like people in category C like to think they are a "nice guy". Just like most fat people like to think it's all genetics or a thyroid problem that they must have, never mind no doctor ever diagnose them as having it.

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Feelsgoodman
At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success?

It depends on where you live. In North America, the "Nice Guy" can expect to experience succes around the age of 78 (average life expectancy for a North American male)...that is, if you subscribe to a religion that says that nice people go to heaven..

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Nice guys win when they realize being a nice guy is a debilitating choice; it's a handicap, as opposed to a positive quality.

 

Nice guys do succeed sometimes. But they succeed despite the fact that they are nice guys, as opposed to because of.

 

If you want to stick to your roots and remain a nice guy, by all means, go for it. But you'll have to work harder, be luckier, or both, than non-nice guys. Or alternately, like many others, including me, you can also make the transformation to stop being a nice guy. I am a former nice guy. I will not go back no matter what. And I recommend all nice guys stop being nice guys.

 

But you don't get to throw your arms up and celebrate victory simply because you stopped being a nice guy. You still have to find your place. There is a lot of room between nice guy and douchebag. Find where you fit and what works for you. Stop being a nice guy is merely step one.

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Imnot buying the OP at all. Sure there are plenty of women in their 20s just looking to have some fun. But theres even more who want a nice guy to date and commit to. At least thats my and most guys experiences.

 

If every girl was just looking to give it away like OP is saying, then why is it usually the case that girls want a relationship way because the guy does?

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At the age when he accepts that women are human beings, just like him, and can make their own set of mistakes and life experiences. At the age when he discovers that women don't simply what "nice" men for the sake of stability but that they want real love, passion, excitment and yes, stability with a good man and doesn't have anger over her wanting those qualities. It is infact a VERY positive thing that women don't simply want stable guys that are good husbands/father. Would you really want to be with a woman that only wanted you for those qualities?

 

Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you?

 

This website might help you. I really like this guy's advice myself most of the time.

 

Paging Dr. NerdLove

 

Why can't the definition of a nice guy also include excitement, passion, etc.? There's no reason it shouldn't. So-called nice guys does not necessarily equate to nerds. There are some "nice guys" who are as passionate, exciting as the bad boys, w/o the need to be an a-hole to prove anything...

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Why can't the definition of a nice guy also include excitement, passion, etc.? There's no reason it shouldn't. So-called nice guys does not necessarily equate to nerds. There are some "nice guys" who are as passionate, exciting as the bad boys, w/o the need to be an a-hole to prove anything...

And those nice guys who are as passionate and exciting as the bad boys probably don't do that badly with women compared.....

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You have to have some kind of edge if you want women to be aroused by you, at 16 or 106. There are some guys around here that are so nice I just feel like stuffing their heads in the toilet every time I see them post. Surprisingly they don't seem to do that well with dating. I'm sure women feel the same way as I do on some level.

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Why can't the definition of a nice guy also include excitement, passion, etc.? There's no reason it shouldn't. So-called nice guys does not necessarily equate to nerds. There are some "nice guys" who are as passionate, exciting as the bad boys, w/o the need to be an a-hole to prove anything...

 

Because then they are not nice guys.

 

Nice guys are men that promote their niceness as a selling point, as their "best foot forward", because either they don't have, or don't realize they have, anything else to offer.

 

Some will even go as far as thinking because they are nice, they are entitled to pussy.

 

Sorry, doesn't work that way. You can't buy anyone's romantic feelings with niceness.

 

Nice is irrelevant. So theoretically you can be nice, or not nice, and your success will be about the same. However the current dating culture and human psychology says if you are nice, you are also desperate. It must be because you have nothing else to offer, so you make up for it by being nice. If you give out something for free (part of being nice), it is perceived as worthless. So being nice can actually hurt your chances. When dating, perception is king.

 

Unfortunately, nice gains you nothing, but can get in your way.

 

So if you know how to navigate and tiptoe your way through the mine field that is being a nice guy, then go for it. I don't have the ability to do that, so I just side-step the whole mine field... by stop being a nice guy.

Edited by fishtaco
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Badsingularity
I've only ever met one person over age 22 who ended up finding someone to date after being completely inexperienced up to that age.

 

 

I had no experience until my mid 20s.

 

I am now married and was capable of attracting a lot of women before I got married.

 

It took an open mind and a lot of work.

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crosswordfiend
Why can't the definition of a nice guy also include excitement, passion, etc.? There's no reason it shouldn't. So-called nice guys does not necessarily equate to nerds. There are some "nice guys" who are as passionate, exciting as the bad boys, w/o the need to be an a-hole to prove anything...

 

Because then a different adjective would be used to describe these guys. "Nice" is a default label when nothing more positive applies...

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Everytime I read one of these threads I picture some hunchback in a dark cell who hasn't seen the Sun in months.

 

Seriously, go outside and get some sunshine. Look at the stars, go for a run, go for a bike ride or play a sport. It's called LIFE. There is NO SUCH THING as NICE GUYS OR JERKS. People are complex, it's not some label you can throw on someone so easily! You try to catagorize as a person as this or that but it is wildly innaccurate and most of the times WRONG.

 

For Christ's sake, there's so many women who want a caring man. Who doesn't want that? Do you, as a man, truly deep down inside wish to be with a disrespectful and manipulative woman? NO NO NO. I wish there were a stern father figure near you because he should smack some sense into you!

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I get angry sometimes when women choose the unstable guys over the husband/father type material.The ones that will treat you well and stick with you forever not cheat on you. My explanation for these kind of things in our society is that most women just like men become ready for a committed relationship after a certain age. The reason to this conclusion is after talking too many guys you get the same response " why now" " why the rush" when you tell them you are looking for a long term relationship its as if nowadays women feel that commitment is like cage which stops you from having fun. Out of many women i have ever encountered between 20 -30 age most of them wanted a sexual relationship. All my female friends are those who l approached found out that they wanted casual sex relationships but when i mention i am looking for a long term relationship the next day you get text saying " lets just be friends" lol

 

At what age does the " Nice guy" begin to have success?

 

For the first bolded part: Don't be man at someone who has a ****ty people picker. They'll turn around at 30+ and have a cornoray and wonder where all the good men are, that's their problem. There are plenty of women who want good men!

 

Second bolded part: I totally disagree.

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He never wins until he stops being nice... Simple as that.

 

As a former nice guy, I can confirm that most women simply can't appreciate one and will be with one only as a stepping stone to something they think is better.

Only time I've seen it work is when both the guy & girl got serious very young and were each others firsts for everything.

 

After learning the hard way, I've been with my now girlfriend for more than 2 years in my first real relationship and I've not once made a chivalrous or nice gesture for her.

 

 

 

Very good points and I agree. Would any man want to date a "sweet girl"? I wouldn't. The term "sweet girl", much like the term "nice guy" is just another term for someone that is socially awkward and is never dating material. When a "Sweet girl" and a "nice guy" date it generally ends in disaster within a few months, resulting in two broken hearts.

 

Not true in the slightest. I wouldn't get involved with anything other than a sweet, caring and pleasant girl.

 

The 'exciting' girls who have tasted 50 knobs and drugged themselves every weekend for nearly 2 decades can stick to their own kind.

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StillReigning
At the age when he accepts that women are human beings, just like him, and can make their own set of mistakes and life experiences. At the age when he discovers that women don't simply what "nice" men for the sake of stability but that they want real love, passion, excitment and yes, stability with a good man and doesn't have anger over her wanting those qualities. It is infact a VERY positive thing that women don't simply want stable guys that are good husbands/father. Would you really want to be with a woman that only wanted you for those qualities?

 

Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you?

 

This website might help you. I really like this guy's advice myself most of the time.

 

Paging Dr. NerdLove

 

 

 

I wish I could make like 10,000 accounts and like this 10,000 times

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At the age when he accepts that women are human beings, just like him, and can make their own set of mistakes and life experiences. At the age when he discovers that women don't simply what "nice" men for the sake of stability but that they want real love, passion, excitment and yes, stability with a good man and doesn't have anger over her wanting those qualities. It is infact a VERY positive thing that women don't simply want stable guys that are good husbands/father. Would you really want to be with a woman that only wanted you for those qualities?

 

Stop putting "nice guy" on a pedestal. Women don't want "nice guys". they don't want "jerks" either. They want good men that have some excitment. Don't you want to be with a woman that excites you?

 

This website might help you. I really like this guy's advice myself most of the time.

 

Paging Dr. NerdLove

 

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

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This is very simple OP. If you make decent money, you can have a field day with women in their prime marrying ages. Now take heed that this ONLY applies to single women looking to marry, which if you're part of the college educated class isn't too hard to find. Basically she'll be looking for some nice doophus to marry at this point because her looks are fading and the clock is ticking, I see it all the time. Just spout off a bunch of bs about how you want a family etc... etc... bang her for awhile and gently dump her, rinse and repeat. Many of these women are still quite attractive and won't be bitches because they're trying to get married. Late twenties early 30's ONLY. Single women past this age are straight up kidults. If you are looking for something serious I would go younger personally. Say 4-5 years. If you're a nice guy schlub you may have to work on your dominance in order to land these women though. It's not hard though, eye contact, hygiene, dominance if these traits aren't natural FAKE them. It's really not hard.

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Around 29,30,31 they can start picking up some scraps. "Nice guys" are usually in the friend zone or flat out Not wanted to be seen with by any reasonably attractive woman from Ages of 13 to around their late 20's early 30's.

 

Most men however,(even guys who are excellent with woman) start out as nice guys, then over time they simply learn what works

Edited by Revolver
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Disenchantedly Yours
could this be defined?

 

Good man, meaning (loosely) a man with integrity, honor, respect, loyalty...those positive qualities that women enjoy in men....Excitment meaning a man that doesn't just agree with everything you say in hopes of pleasing you, stands his own ground, developed his own interests, is passionate about something (really it could be anything since different women are attracted to different passions)..... I hope this helps? I know it's very generic but that might be the best I can do.

 

Do you know why women live fire fighters? It's not because of their big shoulders. If it was, then women would like professional Wrestles just as much but they generally don't. Fire fighters symbolize men that are willing to risk something for others. They symbolize honor, integrity and strength. They symbolize the good qualities most women seek in men who want healthy relationships in combination with the passion he has to contribute something.

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