Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[Avulare]

When you do meet a woman who doesn't mind your height, she'll be sure to dump you after she reads what you post on here. For one who claims that women "are too emotional to think", you sure do let your own emotions lead you down a path of irrational thought.

[mesmerized]

Then women should not be allowed to make decisions. They are too emotional to think. They need to be placed into submission. As I said in an earlier post, allowing women like these to make decisons is like allowing a baby to play with a loaded gun. I think the world would be better if we did not allow women like these to decide whom they marry

 

So women are too stupid for wanting someone they are attracted to but its your right to want the same thing?

 

Women are. actually being very smart by not going out with you. You clearly have mental issues and lack intelligence and with this attitude, would make a very abusive horrible boyfriend.

[ThaWholigan]

Then women should not be allowed to make decisions. They are too emotional to think. They need to be placed into submission. As I said in an earlier post, allowing women like these to make decisons is like allowing a baby to play with a loaded gun. I think the world would be better if we did not allow women like these to decide whom they marry

This is why you don't have a GF.

[silicone]

I just hate it when men about 5'6 or more complain... It's not as if they're 5'2 or anything.

[ThaWholigan]

I just hate it when men about 5'6 or more complain... It's not as if they're 5'2 or anything.

It doesn't matter, they're still short to most girls anyway. The few inches between 5 foot 2 and 5 foot 6 won't make a difference to a girl if she wants to date guys 5 foot 9 and up.

 

FTR I hate it when men of any height complain, period. Gripes here and there are to be expected, nobody is happy all the time. But seriously, at some point you have to get on with it.

[silicone]

It doesn't matter, they're still short to most girls anyway. The few inches between 5 foot 2 and 5 foot 6 won't make a difference to a girl if she wants to date guys 5 foot 9 and up.

 

FTR I hate it when men of any height complain, period. Gripes here and there are to be expected, nobody is happy all the time. But seriously, at some point you have to get on with it.

 

Depends where you are, but they are at the height of a lot of girls. A lot of girls will go out with someone the same height as them, but not shorter. FWIW, I've only met one or two girls my height or shorter. Men? Nope, I am the shortest.

That I've met.

 

 

It's not easy to get over. With a purported statistic that you'd be discount by 80% of women for a trait that you have no control over isn't very positive for your morale. I've been on both ends, well maybe I haven't, I was just ignorant and its only recently going through my history that I've seen the effect. Make no mistake, I am popular and respected but that hasn't stopped me from being looked over for a lot of things because of my height, even at school: I didn't "look" like a leader but guess who they all came to for advice on situations :/

 

The absolute litany of literature available pertinent to subject matter doesn't bode well either.

[21stCenturyMale]

Man if you have self confidence issues...run, don't walk...run away from this place.

 

I never knew being a short guy was such a bad deal. What's funny is that I'm 6'2" and I never thought me being tall was any kind of advantage. I've seen plenty of short guys with hot chicks.

 

Then I come here and it's like being a short guy is synonymous to having leprosy.

 

So I'm 5' 9" and have a different perspective. First, KungFuJoe- you should definitely be appreciative of the genes that you've been given. Does the stereotype "tall drink of water" mean anything to you? psychologically, when you have to look up at your mate, it provokes feelings of security/insecurity.

 

I'm of quite literally, average height. glove_slap, we live in a modern enough society that noone else is going to JUDGE you on your height. Your insecurity about it is something you not only need to deal with, but you have got to find at least some positives to your height, and you also need to learn to accept what's so.

 

Take your height out of the question. If you're not tall, accentuate your other strengths to overcome this insecurity. Look, I wouldn't mind being 6'2"- 6'4", but it's not the end of the world, and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Anyone who says your options are limited, you should tell them to go F themselves.

[HopelessRomantic76]

I never cared much about height in dating i was one of the few women who never gave it much thought as long as the guy wasnt shorter then me which at five three isnt hard

 

Recently i started dating a dude around six four and while it was awkward at first its now the most amazing feeling in the world to be swallowed up in the arms of a tall man:love: the security and protection you feel like harm cant get to you is simply breathtaking

 

And i dont want the angry short men army to come out and whine:rolleyes: i dated many of you and it was fine but this is a whole new world

[fortyninethousand322]

I see the allure of tall men too.

 

 

I really laughed by the way...

[Ami1uwant]

 

 

How do I come to terms with my height or lack thereof? It hinders my confidence in meeting women more than meeting women themselves to be honest.

 

- I'm 165cm and 21 years old.

 

It is not an issue......

 

This is bias in the sampling of the women you socialize with. they fantasize in the Cinderella storylines of hopeless romantics who want tall dark and handsome....this sint based on who the person is.

[kaylan]

I never cared much about height in dating i was one of the few women who never gave it much thought as long as the guy wasnt shorter then me which at five three isnt hard

 

Recently i started dating a dude around six four and while it was awkward at first its now the most amazing feeling in the world to be swallowed up in the arms of a tall man:love: the security and protection you feel like harm cant get to you is simply breathtaking

 

And i dont want the angry short men army to come out and whine:rolleyes: i dated many of you and it was fine but this is a whole new world

Im glad your thread got consolidated into this one...because your post was unnecessary. At least the ending was. Its like you are taking a dig at short guys, and these guys have had enough of feeling inadequate.

 

I have no axe to grind myself, because Im average height and never had a problem with dating or making women feel feminine or protected....but I cant sit here and pretend I dont see what you are doing.

 

If I created a thread, talking about how I never really dated a slim, fit and very feminine gym girl before, and then I told bigger girls not to whine about how much better those girls were than them...you can bet your but people would see through that and itd start a sh!!t show in a thread.

 

Its ok that you wanted to share youre dating experience...but it totally seems like your post was as much putting down short guys as it was uplifting taller men. Pretty immature troll-ish type baiting post.

[River Rain]

Before you read this, I hope you don't judge me for the insecurities I'm about to confess on this post and more importantly I hope you don't project these thoughts onto the shorter gentleman you may stumble across in your every day activities.

 

How do I gain confidence in a world where I'm considered "genetically" inadequate? I mean I and other short men do exist for a reason as our ancestors somehow managed to bypass their genetic "drawbacks" and found a mate of their own. However how do I do it in this modern society where being tall and handsome are stressed to such a degree that you can find them subtly (and more explicitly inserted into advertisements (especially about dating sites), movies (especially superhero movies), tv shows and almost all sports?

 

I have many girl-friends telling me that women only ever for a shorter man because they cannot find themselves a taller one, and to be honest that makes me want to blow my brains out sometimes (figuratively that is). I mean, I wasn't born with such luck but I along with others, we're still human beings, sometimes when I go out partying or clubbing both women and men point out my height to neutralize me in social situations. Short guys are written off as having some pseudo-mental condition - "napoleon complex" which itself is a scientific myth, I mean....I'm just trying to chill, I just want to have fun, I just want to be happy like everyone else and like many people I don't want to step on someone else's happiness in pursuit of my own.

 

How do I come to terms with my height or lack thereof? It hinders my confidence in meeting women more than meeting women themselves to be honest.

 

- I'm 165cm and 21 years old.

 

I'm 5'3" and the guy I'm currently dating is your height. My ex was 6'2". Personally speaking, height doesn't make a difference to me, and it's not because I'm settling from not finding a tall one. Even when I was in my 20's, my first bf was just a little taller than me, and the second one was over 6'...I didn't realize height was such an issue with some men to be honest. How to come to terms, is like any other insecurity I guess, you have to accept that which you can't change and not let it affect your confidence. If I'm repeating what others have written, sorry about that, I didn't read all the responses, just wanted to answer your original post.

[Sun Devil]

I know that people keep telling me to not worry about my height, but that is easier to say than to do. I still worry that I will be in my 40's with no relationship experience. I am trying to improve myself so that girls will be more attracted to me, but until I see results, I still will worry about it.

[El Brujo]

I'm 6'6".

 

I hope that in my next life, I'll be 3'11".

[Sun Devil]

El brujo, you have nothing to complain about your height. You can always get taller girls.

[suladas]

I know that people keep telling me to not worry about my height, but that is easier to say than to do. I still worry that I will be in my 40's with no relationship experience. I am trying to improve myself so that girls will be more attracted to me, but until I see results, I still will worry about it.

 

Meh it's not as bad as you think it is. So far relationships have brought me much more misery then happiness. Being single with no relationship experience is not anywhere as bad as you think it is man. In many ways I would kill to go back to that and not know the hell a break up puts you through.

 

Go to the break up section and do some reading, you'll find out your situation is not all that bad.......

[Sun Devil]

I would rather deal with bad relationships than be single for much longer. You do not know what it is like to be constantly single for your entire life.

[Sasu]

A person's height is not everything .Have confidence in yourself .I am the shortest one in my friend circle ( hardly 5,6 being an asian )and I still got decent and healthy social life.I never had any problem with girls either.( couldn't get any to work coz of my own insecurities as I am dumped but still in love with my first love who was 4 inches taller than me xD ,reason wasn't height issue.She still loves me alone only,just bit of attitude problem from both of our sides)..anyway just have confidence.It won't come on its own..Start working out\studying\job and stuff which will bring ,idk how to say like your innerself out and you'll be good .

 

Confidence is key

Edited November 13, 2012 by Sasu

[suladas]

I would rather deal with bad relationships than be single for much longer. You do not know what it is like to be constantly single for your entire life.

 

Where did I say a bad relationship? I'm talking about being in one, getting dumped and being alone again. If you think it's bad now, just wait until getting dumped, you'll think your life now is awesome.

 

Meh I was nearly 23 before my first relationship, they ain't all they are cracked up to be....

[silicone]

It is better to have loved than not to have loved at all.

 

I am 157cm or 5 foot 2, just - maybe I'm still 5'1", who knows - a ruler?

 

At the end of the day, I've had to come to terms with multiple rejections, rejection in terms of job as my height is apparently a safety issue despite my assessment results for that job. Some will say that height doesn't matter, but at the end of the day, we are all judged on our outward appearance(s).

 

I'm probably the shortest person at work, and I work in an office environment. Yes, inside I do sometimes feel inferior, but I also feels superior sometimes. Confidence isn't all that it is - in fact, it was at one point my enemy. I am a creature of my own making, and I own myself yet I am a slave to others as much as I can be.

 

People say that I am very scarily intelligent, that I am thoughtful, that I am loving and kind, compassionate and determined. I am beautiful in my own right, and it is not up to me to make anyone else see it.

 

I however, cannot guarantee my own safety anymore.

[Sun Devil]

Silicone, what do you mean when you say that you cant guarantee your own saftey anymore?

[Mrlonelyone]

Inspired by another thread.

 

A word on height, masculinity and selection, what does the data say?:

 

When it comes to looks I question weather traditional 20th/21st century"masculinity" is all it's cracked up to be. Plenty of young women want to do Justin Beiber. Plenty wanted to do David Bowie, or Prince, etc.

 

Over time Y chromosomal lines in which the men don't have what many here call the "Alpha" look do just fine. Overtime, as the course of our evolution for the last six million years shows, the most attractive quality in a mate is intelligence. I think that is true even in college. Otherwise we would all look like cavemen by now and there would be more sexual dimorphism not less, as compared to other great apes.

 

Female gorilla's for example weigh 61% as much as males. While among humans males and females generally weigh about the same. Such that the BMI scale can be scientifically meaningful to the health of both sexes. Perhaps that need for a man to outweigh her yet be healthy drives women to want height.

 

In speaking of height. It's not as if a 5'2" to 5'8" average US woman is measuring men with a yard stick. To an average height woman anyone taller than her by more than a few inches probably looks 6'. In truth men who are more than 6' are in the minority. The average US white woman is 5'4. While the average US white man is about 5'10". Enough for the average woman to stand on 3" heels and still be towered over and all that by an average man. This data tells me that a woman of any height can be most happy right now with a man who is 6" taller than her. Further that a man should aim for women who are about 6" shorter than her especially if he is more than one standard deviation shorter than the average or less than 5'8" tall.

 

I am confident that outside of OLD that differential is enough for most women and men. Plus, too much more than that would make kissing, and perhaps even sex awkward.

[Southtexgringo]

Stick with Oriental and Hispanic women and let the white women breed with brotha's and big football players. Look at the current president who is tall and look at where the country is headed. Weather the storm shortie because in the long run you will come out ahead. In a hundred years whites will be the minority and hugely outpopulated by Latinos and Asians who are short. This whole obsession with height has been generated by the western media and wont last when the empire falls.

[silicone]

Silicone, what do you mean when you say that you cant guarantee your own saftey anymore?

 

The external effects and my own mental collusion of my perceived deficiencies within myself is catastrophic to my well being, but it has not yet affected my direct interaction with people.

[Sun Devil]

Does that mean you might commit suicide?