Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[todreaminblue]

I don't get this. I love my bf for who he is, not his height. To make him feel better, I've stopped wearing median to high heels.

 

But we've just finished our sophomore year in high school so that means there is enough time for him. As of now our height is 5'10 (me) and 5'8 3/4 (him).

 

He has wondered what would be his final height and if he'll reach the 6ft mark. He has said ''Bumbee, you're so tall, even after all these years I still can't past you''.

 

I'm wondering if there is a way get him to stop focusing on this. Is this really what most guys desire, to tower us?? I don't see any difference. It would still be him but only taller and maybe more weight added. But still him.

 

 

guys have been conditioned to believe it is the size of the dog in the fight....when most people know has nothing to do with the size of the dog in the fight but more the size of the fight in the dog.......but society pushes expectations of physical height on to men...like it pushes body proportions onto women....i think as women we have to reinforce.....the internal attributes of our sons partners fathers even towards the females......to push for what is inside the person.....onto the younger generation to turn this around.....but unfortunately society can often have more sway........my daughter however is just hitting five foot......i was so proud when she said to me "mum when people ridicule me about my height,i say to them ......is that the best you got, you're tall....is that funny..........so whats the big deal". ....she doesnt get upset, it doesnt bother her....because she accepts her shortness.......and she says so what your tall........its just height....yay ...its when i know as a parent...i have bought up a child who is non jugmental and accepting and sees people for people...just keep reinforcing to your partner it doesnt matter...i wish you the best .......deb

[kaylan]

Also, I dated a girl who was 6 ft tall a few months ago. I felt like the biggest man in the world when she nuzzled up into my chest and fell asleep with me in bed. To have a sexy amazon-esque women say it makes her feel safe in my arms, made me feel amazing. Never got that same feeling with girls smaller than me.

 

But I may be different than many guys. Im able to derive a number of good feelings from the variety of women Ive dated.

[InsaneTrombone]

There's a LOT of women out there who won't even consider a guy because of his height. It's the equivalent of a guy saying he would never date a girl with anything less than C cups.

 

Personally for me, being 5'8, I dread dating anyone taller than me. It makes me feel weird. I'm typically very attracted to short girls anyways, so I suppose it works out for me.

[Bumbee]

I don't see the big deal personally. I like taller women and also my height. I"m only 5'4" so a good amount of women are taller than me. He needs to get over it eventually.

Exactly.

 

In addition, I think he'll still grow because his mother is my same exact height and the father is 6'4. He comes from large family members. He already has the tall gene. Just like I did with my parents and other relatives.

[Bumbee]

So, you're basically just an inch taller? A quarter of an inch doesn't make any real difference. Even an inch isn't that big of a deal.

Yes but he doesn't know he won't stay that height. I'm taller for the meantime.

 

His parents aren't took him to the doctor and he is still in the development process, not done while I'm finished. He just needs to wait that's all.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

guys have been conditioned to believe it is the size of the dog in the fight....when most people know has nothing to do with the size of the dog in the fight but more the size of the fight in the dog.......but society pushes expectations of physical height on to men...like it pushes body proportions onto women....i think as women we have to reinforce.....the internal attributes of our sons partners fathers even towards the females......to push for what is inside the person.....onto the younger generation to turn this around.....but unfortunately society can often have more sway........my daughter however is just hitting five foot......i was so proud when she said to me "mum when people ridicule me about my height,i say to them ......is that the best you got, you're tall....is that funny..........so whats the big deal". ....she doesnt get upset, it doesnt bother her....because she accepts her shortness.......and she says so what your tall........its just height....yay ...its when i know as a parent...i have bought up a child who is non jugmental and accepting and sees people for people...just keep reinforcing to your partner it doesnt matter...i wish you the best .......deb

 

Yes, it is society. But it's not a figment of the guy's imagination.

 

An example of this: There's a girl that I used to date a while back. She's average to slightly above average looking. She's short (I'm 5'6 and I was significantly taller than her so she was probably around 5'1 or 5'2) and was a very sweet girl when we were dating.

 

Yesterday, she posted on her Facebook status: "I'm sorry but you have to be at least 5'8" to attempt this ride. ...lmao my phrase of the night. Why is everyone so damn short?!"

 

Her friend commented: "Try 5'11...", to which she agreed.

 

This is an example of a girl that was naturally nice and sweet and now is clearly not. She obviously didn't have a problem with height a few years ago, but does now.

 

It's likely that she was influenced by our society and her new friends.

 

So obviously this is an issue that DOES exist and it's an external force, as opposed to an internal force, causing confidence issues in short guys.

 

I do agree that it's the size of the fight in the dog, but society as a whole does not see it that way....and this is pushed on us from a very young age.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Exactly.

 

In addition, I think he'll still grow because his mother is my same exact height and the father is 6'4. He comes from large family members. He already has the tall gene. Just like I did with my parents and other relatives.

 

LOL this is obviously something you think about and hope for as well.

 

Also it's not necessarily true. My father is average height and my brothers are both over 6 feet, meanwhile I'm 5'6. He might very well stay short.

[ScreamingTrees]

Yes but he doesn't know he won't stay that height. I'm taller for the meantime.

 

His parents aren't took him to the doctor and he is still in the development process, not done while I'm finished. He just needs to wait that's all.

 

Well, someone I know is about my height and claims he should've been maybe two inches taller according to the doctor.. Don't think he did drugs or anything, so who knows why or how things work out as they do.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I don't get this. I love my bf for who he is, not his height. To make him feel better, I've stopped wearing median to high heels.

 

But we've just finished our sophomore year in high school so that means there is enough time for him. As of now our height is 5'10 (me) and 5'8 3/4 (him).

 

He has wondered what would be his final height and if he'll reach the 6ft mark. He has said ''Bumbee, you're so tall, even after all these years I still can't past you''.

 

I'm wondering if there is a way get him to stop focusing on this. Is this really what most guys desire, to tower us?? I don't see any difference. It would still be him but only taller and maybe more weight added. But still him.

 

Uhhh. The guy is 14.

 

When I was 14, I think I was less than 5 feet tall. Seriously.

 

Honestly, the shorter you are the worse it is. Despite the fact that he will grow probably, if he stayed at 5'9", that's not bad at all.

 

Guys round 5'9" and 5'10" sometimes think of themselves as short but it's rarely a big mental problem as a mature adult.

 

It's the norm. If you're dating a taller woman, people don't look at you as a weird couple. The girl is just tall and he's average.

 

On the other hand, if you're progressively shorter than that, it gets really bad.

[Ami1uwant]

still growing ---how old are you?

 

It is a social expectation that the guy is bigger than the girl in part because of her wearing her heals and if he is bigger he can protect her.

 

Part of this is the women feeling they need him taller and some of it is him thinking she is only interested in him if he is taller.

 

The same concept applies to income earned by each too.

[StanMusial]

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Robinson_(basketball)

 

He went from 5'9" in junior high to 6'6" as a high school senior.

 

He was over 7 feet tall by the time he left the Navy. Considered one of the greatest centers in NBA history.

[ChessPieceFace]

Gee, I dunno. Maybe cause of the scads of women saying outright that height is a deal breaker for them...

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

still growing ---how old are you?

 

It is a social expectation that the guy is bigger than the girl in part because of her wearing her heals and if he is bigger he can protect her.

 

Part of this is the women feeling they need him taller and some of it is him thinking she is only interested in him if he is taller.

 

The same concept applies to income earned by each too.

 

You read too many articles on the internet.

 

Height only matters socially. The stuff about the guy being bigger to protect the girl IS a social construct. It's not biological or evolutionary. If it were, then it would no longer exist since guys were not necessary to physically protect a girl in quite some time.

 

Also, the income argument is nonsense. I'm short and in my 20s and my salary is in the Top 7% of the earners of the country. I know plenty of short guys like this.

 

Total myth perpetuated by discriminatory people.

[Ripnet]

Gee, I dunno. Maybe cause of the scads of women saying outright that height is a deal breaker for them...

 

That's most online women. I wouldn't take most women on OLD sites too seriously.

[Bumbee]

Well, someone I know is about my height and claims he should've been maybe two inches taller according to the doctor.. Don't think he did drugs or anything, so who knows why or how things work out as they do.

Yeah I'm not sure if doctors are really accurate. I went to the doctor too and he said I was done. With him, it's a different story. His parents got told he would be done in his early 20's.

 

Isn't that kind of late? He still doesn't have any facial hairs yet. I've never saw him shaving nor hear a deep voice.

 

Not sure if it's because of our age differences too. Though we're in the same grade, I already turned 16 on February while he'll turn 16 on Sept. 13.

 

My older sister is 5'8 and my parents also took her to the doctor when she 14. She got told that she was done and to only expect an inch if any. She hasn't grown since and now she's 19.

Edited June 24, 2013 by Bumbee

[Bumbee]

still growing ---how old are you?

I'm 16 while he'll be turning 16 on Sept 13.

[kaylan]

Yes, it is society. But it's not a figment of the guy's imagination.

 

An example of this: There's a girl that I used to date a while back. She's average to slightly above average looking. She's short (I'm 5'6 and I was significantly taller than her so she was probably around 5'1 or 5'2) and was a very sweet girl when we were dating.

 

Yesterday, she posted on her Facebook status: "I'm sorry but you have to be at least 5'8" to attempt this ride. ...lmao my phrase of the night. Why is everyone so damn short?!"

 

Her friend commented: "Try 5'11...", to which she agreed.

 

This is an example of a girl that was naturally nice and sweet and now is clearly not. She obviously didn't have a problem with height a few years ago, but does now.

 

It's likely that she was influenced by our society and her new friends.

 

So obviously this is an issue that DOES exist and it's an external force, as opposed to an internal force, causing confidence issues in short guys.

 

I do agree that it's the size of the fight in the dog, but society as a whole does not see it that way....and this is pushed on us from a very young age.

I would have just come back with a weight comment or body proportion comment at that girl.

 

I understand preferences and all, but to publicly put down a whole group of people on facebook? Talk about no class. Im a dude who stays fit and prefers a certain body type in women, but I wont go on facebook putting down girls who dont fit my preference.

 

Shes lucky shes not in my facebook feed, cus I would have chewed her out.

You read too many articles on the internet.

 

Height only matters socially. The stuff about the guy being bigger to protect the girl IS a social construct. It's not biological or evolutionary. If it were, then it would no longer exist since guys were not necessary to physically protect a girl in quite some time.

 

Also, the income argument is nonsense. I'm short and in my 20s and my salary is in the Top 7% of the earners of the country. I know plenty of short guys like this.

 

Total myth perpetuated by discriminatory people.

It is sexual biology bro. Girls are into guys taller than them and V shape torsos, the same way men usually enjoy smaller women with hour glass figures.

 

Its not just society. Sexual dimorphism exists for a reason. Men are the natural protectors, so it makes sense that height and weight would bring about those feelings of protection in men and women.

 

Even so, as I said earlier, I dated a 6ft tall girl who was able to make me feel very protective of her based on how she acted with me. Still doesnt mean that smaller people wont get that feeling out of me. Its natural for bigger folks to feel protective over smaller folks, and for smaller folks to feel protected by bigger folks.

Edited June 24, 2013 by kaylan

[ThaWholigan]

We grow at different times. I had friends that grew much later than I did. When I was 14, I was already at 6 foot with an almost full beard, but I was one of the first at the time. Likely because I was a premature birth.

 

Guys are worried about being tall because nowadays there is an added attraction to tall guys who are seen as some kind of hot commodity now. Saying that, tallness won't save you if other things are f*cked up. It's a requirement for some, a bonus for others, and meh to the rest. As a tall guy, any advantage I may have had has been minimal at best. But I get why guys worry - it's not easy to be secure when the notion is perpetuated socially that tall is attractive and short is not. Having said that, the best way to deal with it as a short guy is simply to ignore it. An anecdote, but when I was growing up, the short guys had more game and got more girls in general. Maybe because they had more to prove, or because they on average were better looking facially. Not that tall guys didn't do well, but there were no height advantages except in sports and seeing over stuff .

[kaylan]

Also, the income argument isnt nonsense. Its a well documented fact that society shows positive bias towards the taller, good looking, and more in shape people. This is why the richest men in the country are mostly tall, decent looking fellows who are in shape.

 

It may not be fair, but humans are pretty damn visual beings.

 

Would I be considered more attractive by many women if I was 6'2 instead of 5'9? Im sure I would be, but I dont dwell on it as I have plenty of sex appeal as it is.

[Southern Cal Dude]

5'9" at 16 isn't short at all. I was only an inch taller at 16. I grew to 6'4".

[El Brujo]

I don't get this. I love my bf for who he is, not his height. To make him feel better, I've stopped wearing median to high heels.

 

But we've just finished our sophomore year in high school so that means there is enough time for him. As of now our height is 5'10 (me) and 5'8 3/4 (him).

 

He has wondered what would be his final height and if he'll reach the 6ft mark. He has said ''Bumbee, you're so tall, even after all these years I still can't past you''.

 

I'm wondering if there is a way get him to stop focusing on this. Is this really what most guys desire, to tower us?? I don't see any difference. It would still be him but only taller and maybe more weight added. But still him.

 

Have you ever been 6'6" and tried to find off-the-rack clothes? Do people give you the cross-eyed stare every time you go out to the supermarket?

 

I didn't think so.

[Bumbee]

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Robinson_(basketball)

 

He went from 5'9" in junior high to 6'6" as a high school senior.

 

He was over 7 feet tall by the time he left the Navy. Considered one of the greatest centers in NBA history.

How can that be possible? That's too much in 1 year.

 

Then he had a second growth?? 14-16 inches in total?

 

Did that guy took some type of steroids? Hardly anyone can grow that much.

[Southern Cal Dude]

How can that be possible? That's too much in 1 year.

 

Then he had a second growth?? 14-16 inches in total?

 

Did that guy took some type of steroids? No one can grow that much.

 

 

Junior high, not junior in high school. 9 inches in 4 years = slightly over 2 inches a year. Then he grew another 7 inches over the next 4 years, so that's a little under 2 inches a year.

 

You want to talk about growing? I went from 5'10" at 16 to 6'4" at 18. That's a larger growth spurt than Admiral's.

[KungFuJoe]

Michael Jordan and Dennis Rodman had similar growth spurts, though Rodman's occured in college (very rare) and Jordan's occured after his freshman year of high school.

 

I've always just been "tall"...hovering around the 95% percentile my entire life. 5'9" as a freshman and 6'2" as a senior and there I stayed.

 

Tall is good for me because I play basketball, but to be honest, I never knew that height was that big a deal in terms of attraction until I came to this site.

[ScreamingTrees]

Michael Jordan and Dennis Rodman had similar growth spurts, though Rodman's occured in college (very rare) and Jordan's occured after his freshman year of high school.

 

I've always just been "tall"...hovering around the 95% percentile my entire life. 5'9" as a freshman and 6'2" as a senior and there I stayed.

 

Tall is good for me because I play basketball, but to be honest, I never knew that height was that big a deal in terms of attraction until I came to this site.

 

Would you really know, if you've been tall all of your life? Girls wouldn't necessarily be vocal about why they'd rejected other guys or chose you in particular, would they?