Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[Star Gazer]

A lot of WHY we prefer something is rooted in our DNA.

 

Why men prefer fuller breasts and shapely hips...why women prefer stronger men, etc....it all goes back to the caveman days...and all comes down to chances of procreation and survival before society and civilizations were formed to provide us with this security.

 

Fuller breasts and hips meant birthing and rearing would be easier and more efficient.

 

Bigger, stronger men would be more able to protect their women from opposing males.

 

Modern civilization has been around for only a very small fraction of the time humans have been on the planet. Thus, evolution has not caught up.

 

So when a woman sees a big, strong, masculine looking man and feels that "primal" attraction...it's not because she's envisioning a scenario where his strength is going to actually protect her...it's because it is simply an innate response to a stimuli that actually lost its purpose a while back.

 

EXACTLY right, KFJ.

 

It's instinctual.

[MrCastle]

Insecurity tends to drive aggression, at least in my experience. A family member was raped by an insecure boyfriend. I don't remember how tall he was. Doesn't really matter. the more I read certain things on this board, the more I'm wanting pepper spray and a stun gun. Rather than blame the man (aside from assigning blame to him specifically because of his height, instead of his attitude), you blamed the woman for choosing to date a tall man. Things like that don't necessarily make me feel good about the "nice guy".

 

You know, I'll just say this--put yourself in the other person's shoes, always.

 

Just do it for one second.

 

You're a struggling man. You're not sure what it is about you. You are neither tall, nor muscular.

 

You come on to this forum. Daily.

 

Read some of the stuff on here about how tall, muscular men (I.E., not you) are more desired, more "masculine", more "manly."

 

In other words, women value a physical body type that is not yours.

 

You are then asked to remain positive and shrug it off and not let it bother you.

 

I say this not just to you, but to anyone on this forum male or female.

 

Look in the mirror, and then imagine reading this forum, and every day a thread pops up about how undesired your body type is.

 

And if ever you try to speak on it or defend your body type, you are insulted, laughed at, or seen as bitter.

 

It's why I don't blink an eye when some of the stuggling men and women on here lash out. I can see where they're coming from.

 

I don't blame the short men just like I don't blame the skinny women who have to read about big boobs and big butts anytime they're on this forum.

 

Let them vent.

[Ryan R.]

A lot of WHY we prefer something is rooted in our DNA.

 

Why men prefer fuller breasts and shapely hips...why women prefer stronger men, etc....it all goes back to the caveman days...and all comes down to chances of procreation and survival before society and civilizations were formed to provide us with this security.

 

Fuller breasts and hips meant birthing and rearing would be easier and more efficient.

 

Bigger, stronger men would be more able to protect their women from opposing males.

 

Modern civilization has been around for only a very small fraction of the time humans have been on the planet. Thus, evolution has not caught up.

 

So when a woman sees a big, strong, masculine looking man and feels that "primal" attraction...it's not because she's envisioning a scenario where his strength is going to actually protect her...it's because it is simply an innate response to a stimuli that actually lost its purpose a while back.

 

Spot on, old chap! You deserve a biscuit!

[Ryan R.]

You know, I'll just say this--put yourself in the other person's shoes, always.

 

Just do it for one second.

 

You're a struggling man. You're not sure what it is about you. You are neither tall, nor muscular.

 

You come on to this forum. Daily.

 

Read some of the stuff on here about how tall, muscular men (I.E., not you) are more desired, more "masculine", more "manly."

 

In other words, women value a physical body type that is not yours.

 

You are then asked to remain positive and shrug it off and not let it bother you.

 

I say this not just to you, but to anyone on this forum male or female.

 

Look in the mirror, and then imagine reading this forum, and every day a thread pops up about how undesired your body type is.

 

And if ever you try to speak on it or defend your body type, you are insulted, laughed at, or seen as bitter.

 

It's why I don't blink an eye when some of the stuggling men and women on here lash out. I can see where they're coming from.

 

I don't blame the short men just like I don't blame the skinny women who have to read about big boobs and big butts anytime they're on this forum.

 

Let them vent.

 

I agree with your post but I don't see why someone would keep putting themselves in an environment where they are only encountering derision. That's the definition of illogical, imo.

[ThaWholigan]

The bigger stronger element has come into play in my life a few times. Most of the dangerous people I know are short . However, people assume I am a lot stronger than most because of size and mass. I find it funny . Have heard someone describe me as "daunting" once. That is theast word I would use ti describe myself.

[MrCastle]

I agree with your post but I don't see why someone would keep putting themselves in an environment where they are only encountering derision. That's the definition of illogical, imo.

 

Well, because we're all here for dating advice, no?

 

And certainly those that are struggling need this place more than others yeah?

 

Either way, when people make posts, they need to be conscious of the fact this place houses all different age groups, all different ethnicities, cultures, beliefs, etc.

 

If you are going to constantly talk down a specific group of people, don't then be surprised when they're not exactly the happiest members on the board.

[KungFuJoe]

I think it shows a MASSIVE amount of immaturity, insecurity, and just overall bad character to actually have disdain for someone who is not attracted to you.

 

In other words...if you're a short guy and you're "mad at women" for liking tall men...you need to grow up. YOU are the problem. Not them.

[Els]

I agree with your post but I don't see why someone would keep putting themselves in an environment where they are only encountering derision. That's the definition of illogical, imo.

 

For real.

 

Honestly, some parts of LS would be the absolute worst triggers for someone who is already suffering from self-esteem. This goes for both men and women. Look at some of the S&R threads, for instance. I've tried speaking up on some of them knowing that there WILL be such people reading, and hoping to mitigate the effect, but one voice is easily drowned.

 

If someone has self-esteem problems, they would be much better off avoiding forums like LS. There isn't really an excuse to continue reading and then blaming LS for 'making them more bitter'.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I think it shows a MASSIVE amount of immaturity, insecurity, and just overall bad character to actually have disdain for someone who is not attracted to you.

 

In other words...if you're a short guy and you're "mad at women" for liking tall men...you need to grow up. YOU are the problem. Not them.

 

Yea, you're right.

 

Sigh.

 

I don't why I make any of these threads. There's just no ending the negativity and rejection swimming in my head. Why, why , why?

 

Delete it.

[KungFuJoe]

Yea, you're right.

 

Sigh.

 

I don't why I make any of these threads. There's just no ending the negativity and rejection swimming in my head. Why, why , why?

 

Delete it.

 

Well...I'm not sure on the tone of your reply (and my post wasn't directed at you...just in general).

 

But, assuming you DO feel bitter or resentment towards women for not being attracted to you...think about what you are doing. You are willingly and purposely presenting a negative attitude to a person/persons for something they have absolutely no control over.

 

You can't control who or what you are attracted to any more than you can control the color of your eyes at birth.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well...I'm not sure on the tone of your reply (and my post wasn't directed at you...just in general).

 

But, assuming you DO feel bitter or resentment towards women for not being attracted to you...think about what you are doing. You are willingly and purposely presenting a negative attitude to a person/persons for something they have absolutely no control over.

 

You can't control who or what you are attracted to any more than you can control the color of your eyes at birth.

 

Honestly.

 

I just want to erase my brain and start new.

[MrCastle]

I think it shows a MASSIVE amount of immaturity, insecurity, and just overall bad character to actually have disdain for someone who is not attracted to you.

 

In other words...if you're a short guy and you're "mad at women" for liking tall men...you need to grow up. YOU are the problem. Not them.

 

Probably would have more weight to your post if you weren't in fact a tall man but I digress.

 

I think it's lame to basically say "well if you don't like what we have to say, just leave!"

 

We are all here for various reasons and all have every right to be here as anyone else.

 

So back to my example--if you're a short man who is struggling, and you may not even think about your height as being the reason for your failures (I don't think height plays a role in attraction but, either way) and you're reading thread after thread about how women are not attracted to your body type, you're expected to take it all in stride?

 

"What's this? Another tall guys are awesome thread? Oh, cool."

 

I wouldn't expect that reaction from most people. Being insulted or being told your body type is not attractive, at some point, will take it's toll.

 

I prefer curvy women, but have been extremely careful in what I've said about that. Never once have I ever gotten into it with a female member who accused me of only going for large breasted or large assed women. Part of that is because I love women of all body types and have made that clear but even if I only had one specific type of woman I liked--I would not gush about them in every thread. I realize there are women here (everywhere, really) that are sensitive about their looks and wouldn't want to further make them feel bad.

 

When women have attacked men for wanting the young tight super model girl, I don't blame them, because more often than not, the guy said something that sparked her reaction.

 

Whatever you post on these (public) forums, just be prepared to own it and be prepared to be challenged if what you say strikes a nerve for a specific type of person

[KungFuJoe]

MrCastle,

 

Any woman (or man) who attacks you for liking a certain body type also falls into what I said about being MASSIVELY immature.

 

Yeah, I'm tall, but I could have easily used another example.

 

I'm not very "big" at 6'2, 195lbs, nor do I have a chiseled face with a jaw that can crack walnuts. I have "softer" features and a woman who wants that rugged, burly, lumberjack looking guy probably wouldn't find me attractive at all.

 

And that's PERFECTLY fine with me. More power to them. I feel no resentment, no sense of bitterness towards them, etc. I wish them all the luck in finding and getting what they want.

 

And that's how it should be.

[veggirl]

If we women are "programmed" to want muscular, large men, why are most women turned off by the body builder type? I mean ...that's the biggest, strongest you can get. Shouldn't that get our panties the most wet?

 

Sorry, will never, ever buy into this evo-psycho bull****. "Caveman" days were a LONG time ago. There was a LOT in between that.

[tbf]

I don't have a problem with people finding my type unattractive or having personal preferences for traits that I don't have. But I do have a problem with people trashing women as a generality, fat shaming (which I'm not) or suggesting that all women who have x trait, should die by fire or some other form of stupidity.

 

This thread is about why women find larger males attractive. If you'll notice, the majority of women posters responding aren't trashing on short men. We're being positive about tall and protective men.

[MrCastle]

MrCastle,

 

Any woman (or man) who attacks you for liking a certain body type also falls into what I said about being MASSIVELY immature.

 

Yeah, I'm tall, but I could have easily used another example.

 

I'm not very "big" at 6'2, 195lbs, nor do I have a chiseled face with a jaw that can crack walnuts. I have "softer" features and a woman who wants that rugged, burly, lumberjack looking guy probably wouldn't find me attractive at all.

 

And that's PERFECTLY fine with me. More power to them. I feel no resentment, no sense of bitterness towards them, etc. I wish them all the luck in finding and getting what they want.

 

And that's how it should be.

 

Well, again, you're married. You couldn't care less what people say about you or your body type because you've found the love of your life. If you were a single man, and every day was a thread about how half asian/half whites are unattractive, or how tall men are unattractive, I don't know how you'd react, but I guess that's moot to dwell on the what if's.

 

I'm just saying, don't gush about a specific type of person, while sometimes simultaneously putting another group down, then be surprised when someone who didn't fit your critera is challenging your post. Or don't label them insecure or bitter or whatever, when they are being constantly bombarded on here with negative reinforcements.

 

I can only imagine how overweight women feel about this place, or older women, or any other type of person that is deemed unattractive by the opposite sex.

 

That's why, again, when I see a woman who is overweight lash out at a man that said something stupid, I'm like "well, yeah. He asked for it."

[veggirl]

EXACTLY right, KFJ.

 

It's instinctual.

 

So are you okay with a man "instinctually" feeling your place as a woman is in the home/kitchen?

 

after all, women in the masculine workforce is a very new thing, can we blame them if they don't like it and want us back home as we typically were? It's instinctual...right?

[MrCastle]

If we women are "programmed" to want muscular, large men, why are most women turned off by the body builder type? I mean ...that's the biggest, strongest you can get. Shouldn't that get our panties the most wet?

 

Sorry, will never, ever buy into this evo-psycho bull****. "Caveman" days were a LONG time ago. There was a LOT in between that.

 

Agreed. It's a flimsy argument. It's trying to defend yourself without taking responsibility. "It's not me! It's science!"

 

Next time a skinny girl asks me out i'm gonna say "sorry babe, no ass! Don't be mad, it's just biology!"

[MrCastle]

I don't have a problem with people finding my type unattractive or having personal preferences for traits that I don't have. But I do have a problem with people trashing women as a generality, fat shaming (which I'm not) or suggesting that all women who have x trait, should die by fire or some other form of stupidity.

 

This thread is about why women find larger males attractive. If you'll notice, the majority of women posters responding aren't trashing on short men. We're being positive about tall and protective men.

 

Agreed. The only part I responded to was the bolded part I highlighted where the poster mentioned that it's unattractive for "nice guys" to be mad at women for liking tall men.

 

I'm merely saying, if you read what's often said about tall guys, muscular guys, "bad boys", or any other type that you're not--I can understand why you wouldn't be happy about it.

[KungFuJoe]

Well, again, you're married. You couldn't care less what people say about you or your body type because you've found the love of your life. If you were a single man, and every day was a thread about how half asian/half whites are unattractive, or how tall men are unattractive, I don't know how you'd react, but I guess that's moot to dwell on the what if's.

 

I'm just saying, don't gush about a specific type of person, while sometimes simultaneously putting another group down, then be surprised when someone who didn't fit your critera is challenging your post. Or don't label them insecure or bitter or whatever, when they are being constantly bombarded on here with negative reinforcements.

 

I can only imagine how overweight women feel about this place, or older women, or any other type of person that is deemed unattractive by the opposite sex.

 

That's why, again, when I see a woman who is overweight lash out at a man that said something stupid, I'm like "well, yeah. He asked for it."

 

Has nothing to do with being married.

 

I was this way before I got married. I've been giving the whole chicken and egg thing a lot of thought and I'm come to the conclusion that my happiness is DUE to my attitude and not vice versa.

 

I've always had a good sense of self esteem and worth. Never really cared too much what other people thought of me and didn't judge anyone if they didn't think I was attractive.

 

At the same time, I never judge anyone from what they like. A girl wants the complete opposite of me in terms of looks? Awesome...go for it.

 

Even if I came here when I was single and saw thread after thread about half asian/whites being at the bottom of the food chain...wouldn't phase me one bit.

 

I got teased in high school regarding certain physical characteristics I have...namely ears that stick out and big lips. Did it give me a complex or riddle me with self confidence issues? NOPE. Hell...women I've been with LOVE my lips now (for obvious reason).

 

Still trying to find a way to use my ears in the bedroom, though......

[KungFuJoe]

So are you okay with a man "instinctually" feeling your place as a woman is in the home/kitchen?

 

after all, women in the masculine workforce is a very new thing, can we blame them if they don't like it and want us back home as we typically were? It's instinctual...right?

 

If it's NOT instinct, then can you explain why most women prefer bigger, taller men?

Edited July 1, 2013 by KungFuJoe

[Pompeii]

If we women are "programmed" to want muscular, large men, why are most women turned off by the body builder type? I mean ...that's the biggest, strongest you can get. Shouldn't that get our panties the most wet?

 

Sorry, will never, ever buy into this evo-psycho bull****. "Caveman" days were a LONG time ago. There was a LOT in between that.

 

A lot of women are turned off by the big bodybuilder types you see in the magazines. They aren't representative of the majority. Women, like men, are attracted to aesthetics. Women tend to be attracted to a man's posterior chain and a "V taper" (ideal shoulder-to-waist ratio) when it comes to men physically. The big, blocky muscular types are seen as steroid junkies, even if that's not so.

 

If a man's going to build a body, he has to make sure it is in aesthetically pleasing proportions.

[MrCastle]

If it's NOT instinct, then can you explain why women prefer bigger, taller men?

 

I don't know. Especially given how proportionately represented skinny, short men and tall, muscular men are in the media. It's about 50/50

 

It's not like every man who makes an action movie is tall and muscular, or the majority of men on the cover of GQ and Esquire are tall and muscular.

 

Hey!

 

No, wait. Media body image suppression is only for women.

[KungFuJoe]

I don't know. Especially given how proportionately represented skinny, short men and tall, muscular men are in the media. It's about 50/50

 

It's not like every man who makes an action movie is tall and muscular, or the majority of men on the cover of GQ and Esquire are tall and muscular.

 

Hey!

 

No, wait. Media body image suppression is only for women.

 

You ever heard the phrase, "tall, dark, and handsome"?

 

Notice how that phrase doesn't read, "short, dark, and handsome"?

[MrCastle]

You ever heard the phrase, "tall, dark, and handsome"?

 

Notice how that phrase doesn't read, "short, dark, and handsome"?

 

You're not talking about a phrase that originated in early print magazines and romance novels are you?!