Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[somedude81]

Stop whining about it and find a girl who likes short men. There are tons of them out there.

 

Take a second to think about what I'm whining.

 

Here's a hint. I didn't get my first and only GF till I was 31, who then dumped me six months after.

 

That's how long it took for me to find an available woman who would date a short man.

Edited May 17, 2014 by somedude81

[KaliLove]

Take a second to think about what I'm whining.

 

Here's a hint. I didn't get my first and only GF till I was 31, who then dumped me six months after.

 

So that was only because of your height? It couldn't have had anything to do with your personality?

 

Wait..you're the guy who started that thread saying you think cheating is a good thing. Yeah, it's definitely your personality.

[thefooloftheyear]

So nobody is allowed to have any physical preferences at all? We should all just force ourselves to be attracted to everyone on the planet?

 

Great! I have a 600lb friend I should introduce you to.

 

I see that you felt the need to put your muscle mass in this post. You're obviously very insecure. I personally don't care for muscles. Does that make me a bad person too?

 

I'm not saying nobody should date short men. I'm saying I've never been attracted to short men before. But again, I am still giving this guy a chance because he's really sweet. I'm going out with him in about 20 min.

 

Who gives a shyt what you like or dont like? Certainly not me...Do whatever the hell you want....

 

If you bothered to READ the post, where do I say anything about forcing anybody to do anything they dont want to do? The point of the post was to rag on the crying ass guys that complain constantly that the only reason they dont have success with women is because they are short...Some of us cant relate..Ive never had these experiences, despite bing short...And that, in and of itself doesnt make me "insecure"...It makes me very secure...Im completely happy to be 5'6"...

 

 

TFY

[somedude81]

So that was only because of your height? It couldn't have had anything to do with your personality?

It has very little to do with my personality.

 

95% of my dating problems is that women aren't physically attracted to me. The few women that can look past me being short and average looking, are almost always taken. Hell my ex was taken when I met her.

 

Thanks to my personality she started to fall for me, and left her BF.

 

There were other women that I know of that are fine with a guy being short, but they are taken as well, and might as well not exist.

Wait..you're the guy who started that thread saying you think cheating is a good thing. Yeah, it's definitely your personality.

Wow, you completely and utterly twisted what that thread was about.

[thefooloftheyear]

Take a second to think about what I'm whining.

 

Here's a hint. I didn't get my first and only GF till I was 31, who then dumped me six months after.

 

That's how long it took for me to find an available woman who would date a short man.

 

Yet, I am the same height as you and had all kinds of girls/women...I first got laid at 15 and never had any trouble attracting good looking women..And its not only me...There are legions of shorter guys that would concur..

 

There goes that theory, bud...

 

I feel for you.....but its NOT your height that is the problem

 

TFY

Edited May 17, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[KaliLove]

Who gives a shyt what you like or dont like? Certainly not me...Do whatever the hell you want....

 

If you bothered to READ the post, where do I say anything about forcing anybody to do anything they dont want to do? The point of the post was to rag on the crying ass guys that complain constantly that the only reason they dont have success with women is because they are short...Some of us cant relate..Ive never had these experiences, despite bing short...And that, in and of itself doesnt make me "insecure"...It makes me very secure...Im completely happy to be 5'6"...

 

 

TFY

 

Yep, you're right. I apologize. I thought you were directing it towards me but I can see now that it's directed towards the whiny buggers who blame everything on their height. Redacted!

[somedude81]

Yet, I am the same height as you and had all kinds of girls/women...I first got laid at 15 and never had any trouble attracting good looking women..

 

There goes that theory, bud...

 

I feel for you.....but its NOT your height that is the problem

 

TFY

 

From how you describe yourself, despite you being short your looks are far above average. You've negated the handicap of being short. I also don't know what your confidence level is.

 

It's OK to be short if one can make up for it in other areas.

 

I have not been able to make up for my height.

 

If I was exactly the same person I am now, with exactly the same body type, and only as tall as my dad, 5'10. I'd have no problems with women at all.

[KaliLove]

It has very little to do with my personality.

 

95% of my dating problems is that women aren't physically attracted to me. The few women that can look past me being short and average looking, are almost always taken. Hell my ex was taken when I met her.

 

Thanks to my personality she started to fall for me, and left her BF.

 

There were other women that I know of that are fine with a guy being short, but they are taken as well, and might as well not exist.

 

Wow, you completely and utterly twisted what that thread was about.

 

And thanks to your personality, she left you a few months later.

[thefooloftheyear]

From how you describe yourself, despite you being short your looks are far above average. You've negated the handicap of being short. I also don't know what your confidence level is.

 

It's OK to be short if one can make up for it in other areas.

 

I have not been able to make up for my height.

 

If I was exactly the same person I am now, with exactly the same body type, and only as tall as my dad, 5'10. I'd have no problems with women at all.

 

Let me tell you something.....

 

My cousin Anthony is 5'4" and 165 lbs.....He is bald and has been since fresh out of high school..Just an average short guy in pretty much all areas....He is married to an absolute knockout raven haired beauty that looks like Courtney Cox with a better rack..They have been married for 20 plus years, have 3 great kids and she is crazy about him...

 

Its not your height, man....Trust me..

 

TFY

[KaliLove]

One of my closest friends is married to a guy who is 5'5 and balding.

[somedude81]

Let me tell you something.....

 

My cousin Anthony is 5'4" and 165 lbs.....He is bald and has been since fresh out of high school..Just an average short guy in pretty much all areas....He is married to an absolute knockout raven haired beauty that looks like Courtney Cox with a better rack..They have been married for 20 plus years, have 3 great kids and she is crazy about him...

 

Its not your height, man....Trust me..

 

TFY

 

Does he have a really cool personality or something like that?

 

How old was he when he started dating his wife?

 

BTW, I'm not saying that lightning doesn't strike. Maybe in another world I could have married my ex. Yeah she'd be the only woman I was ever in a relationship with, but that wouldn't matter if she had been crazy about me and she was a beauty.

 

Yes it's really cool to tell about the success stories. But there are so many more failure stories about there that nobody wants to hear.

[somedude81]

And thanks to your personality, she left you a few months later.

 

Nope, she left me because of her own issues, mostly stemming from the fact that she was simply not ready to be in a real relationship.

 

She also tuned out to be very immature.

 

None of it was my fault.

[thefooloftheyear]

Does he have a really cool personality or something like that?

 

How old was he when he started dating his wife?

 

BTW, I'm not saying that lightning doesn't strike. Maybe in another world I could have married my ex. Yeah she'd be the only woman I was ever in a relationship with, but that wouldn't matter if she had been crazy about me and she was a beauty.

 

Yes it's really cool to tell about the success stories. But there are so many more failure stories about there that nobody wants to hear.

 

Id say he is a confident guy, but not in an arrogant way.....Like me, he dated a lot of attractive girls/women...Actually the woman he was with before the one he is married to now was actually a bit hotter than his wife-which is saying a lot, but she had some serious personality issues, so he left her....

 

If you are having issues, I feel for you ...but I cant emphasize it enough that your height isnt the problem...You need to look at yourself and see what it is that is holding you back...Just in the few posts I read, if you have the "Charlie Brown" attitude always waiting for Lucy to pull the football out from under you, that is going to be an immediate buzzkill for any woman remotely attracted to you..Work on that first at least..

 

You dont need to be a "player"...All you want/need is one woman and there are billions of them out there...They even outnumber us..They arent all out there wanting to piss on your Cheerios because you arent 6 foot tall...Just forget that thought....

 

TFY

[somedude81]

Id say he is a confident guy, but not in an arrogant way.....Like me, he dated a lot of attractive girls/women...Actually the woman he was with before the one he is married to now was actually a bit hotter than his wife-which is saying a lot, but she had some serious personality issues, so he left her....

Hmm, that wasn't the answer I was expecting. It just doesn't seem possible to me for a normal but short guy to do well with women. Over and over men are told how important height is to women.

 

I really do wonder how confident he is. BTW, if it wasn't obvious, I'm generally very unconfident. Though I'm sure that if I manged to date a lot of attractive women in the past, I'd be much more confident than I am now. Success builds upon itself. Hell, if I manged to get 1/4th of the girls I liked, I'd probably be a completely different person than I am now.

 

 

If you are having issues, I feel for you ...but I cant emphasize it enough that your height isnt the problem...You need to look at yourself and see what it is that is holding you back...Just in the few posts I read, if you have the "Charlie Brown" attitude always waiting for Lucy to pull the football out from under you, that is going to be an immediate buzzkill for any woman remotely attracted to you..Work on that first at least..

I don't understand your example and how it relates to dating.

 

You dont need to be a "player"...All you want/need is one woman and there are billions of them out there...They even outnumber us..They arent all out there wanting to piss on your Cheerios because you arent 6 foot tall...Just forget that thought....

 

TFY

I thought so too. At 31 I finally found my "one woman." Though the whole relationship was doomed from the start.

 

Right now I'm terrified that she was my one chance. The universe finally threw me a bone, but fate had no intention of actually letting me keep it. I would have done absolutely everything possible to try and make that relationship work, and I wasn't given any chance at all. She just decided she was done and that was it. No discussion.

[thefooloftheyear]

Hmm, that wasn't the answer I was expecting. It just doesn't seem possible to me for a normal but short guy to do well with women. Over and over men are told how important height is to women.

 

I never knew much about how important height is to a woman, because, quite frankly I have never experienced that bias..TBH, I only saw this "gloom and doom" short guy malaise since stumbling on this site...

 

I really do wonder how confident he is. BTW, if it wasn't obvious, I'm generally very unconfident. Though I'm sure that if I manged to date a lot of attractive women in the past, I'd be much more confident than I am now. Success builds upon itself. Hell, if I manged to get 1/4th of the girls I liked, I'd probably be a completely different person than I am now.

 

He is a pretty confident guy...He is also a successful businessman, although he is also a recovered alcoholic and drug addict..And while he is pretty well off now, he was dead broke and working as a waiter/bartender when he met his current wife..

 

 

 

I don't understand your example and how it relates to dating.

 

See above...Its all about confidence and not "waiting for the shoe to drop"

 

 

I thought so too. At 31 I finally found my "one woman." Though the whole relationship was doomed from the start.

 

Right now I'm terrified that she was my one chance. The universe finally threw me a bone, but fate had no intention of actually letting me keep it. I would have done absolutely everything possible to try and make that relationship work, and I wasn't given any chance at all. She just decided she was done and that was it. No discussion.

 

Again, I feel for you....

 

But I am telling you, as a person that is the same height as you, that it isnt as you say...Are there some women that reject short guys? Maybe...I say maybe because a lot of these women say this, then when they meet a short guy that blows their hair back, then all of a sudden its no big deal..That being said, who cares what hey like or dont like..Everyone has preferences...You might reject a woman because she is flat chested..Shell find someone else that wouldnt care about it..Simple..

 

And let me add another thing here...I am no "player"...Ive never had any "game" in my life...That is the farthest thing from who I am..Ive never even heard of this PUA nonsense before stumbling onto this site,,

 

Believe it or not, I dont hit on women and never have in my entire life..The mere thought repulses me and makes my skin crawl..Never cold approached a woman, ever..Never asked a stranger for her number or struck up an impromptu conversation..Ive been told I have a "quiet confidence" about me, but I dont know..Ive had difficulty communicating with anyone I dont already know for as long as I can remember...Point is, I have gotten attention without even trying...In fact, I am so aloof when it comes to this, it usually only occurs that someone is interested after they approach themselves or a friend of the person informed me..I am oblivious to the whole deal..

 

Ill say it again....its NOT your height...

 

TFY

Edited May 17, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[KaliLove]

Nope, she left me because of her own issues, mostly stemming from the fact that she was simply not ready to be in a real relationship.

 

She also tuned out to be very immature.

 

None of it was my fault.

 

Yes, I'm sure you were perfect. :roll eyes:

 

The average height of the American woman is 2 inches shorter than you. It really shouldn't be that hard for you to find a woman who doesn't care about your height. It's not your height. You said yourself that you are generally not a confident person. If you learned to own your height (as TFOY does) instead of being ashamed of it, you'd be more successful. These are your issues, not everyone else's.

 

You don't seem able to admit to your flaws (other than your height, which you can't deny or hide because it's physical rather than emotional)..that's also a huge issue of YOURS, not everyone else's.

 

If you actually took some responsibility for your problems, you'd have a much better idea how to solve them.

 

If the picture in your profile is actually you, you're not a bad looking guy at all. Once again, it's not about your looks. It's about your personality.

[thelastunicorn]

Going on a coffee date with a guy that is 5'6 this morning. I'm 5'8 1/2. Height stopped being a factor for me when I realized that it has no direct correlation with a man's ability to be an awesome boyfriend. He is hilarious, confident, smart, and fun to be around. That's what I would be looking for no matter his height.

[thefooloftheyear]

Going on a coffee date with a guy that is 5'6 this morning. I'm 5'8 1/2. Height stopped being a factor for me when I realized that it has no direct correlation with a man's ability to be an awesome boyfriend. He is hilarious, confident, smart, and fun to be around. That's what I would be looking for no matter his height.

 

Im sure they will tell you that you are setlling now because you are older, less desirable, and your options have diminished....

 

TFY

[Potz4prez]

As a 6'2 male... I can tell you that height does not guarantee anything. In my experience, it seems like the shorter the girl, the more she cares about a guys height and build. Protection instinct maybe?

 

 

I also seem to be drawn to short girls. Like 5'1" is perfect. I dunno.. maybe it's a dominance thing.

[thefooloftheyear]

As a 6'2 male... I can tell you that height does not guarantee anything. In my experience, it seems like the shorter the girl, the more she cares about a guys height and build. Protection instinct maybe?

 

 

I also seem to be drawn to short girls. Like 5'1" is perfect. I dunno.. maybe it's a dominance thing.

 

 

I hear that a lot... and it makes me giggle....Protection?? From what?? The Boogie Man??

 

Having worked as a bouncer for some time, I have witnessed literally hundreds of fistfights and brawls...Never did I see a taller guy have an advantage...As a matter of fact, some of the shorter guys are damn scrappy...

 

Sure, I suppose a guy like Shaquille O Neal, or JJ Watt is going to give someone some sense of "security" just by their presence, but they are freaks..The average, run of the mill 6' guy is no more imposing than the average 5'7" guy...

 

And the whole "really tall guy with a really short girl" always seemed odd...Like why would a 5' tall woman feel like a guy that was 6'4" be a better "fit" than, say, a guy that was 5'5"?? And vice versa.. Its a head scratcher..

 

But as they say...to each his own,,,

 

TFY

[xxoo]

Nope, she left me because of her own issues, mostly stemming from the fact that she was simply not ready to be in a real relationship.

 

She also tuned out to be very immature.

 

None of it was my fault.

 

She was mature for a person her age, but YOU sought a very young person to date. Expect a 20 year old to act immature, because they are not yet matured.

 

Your issue is not your height. It's an easy scapegoat, but blaming your height won't help you overcome your problem. It will perpetuate your problems.

 

Height is one advantage you don't have, along with many other possible advantages you don't have. You can't control your height, but you CAN control many other possible advantages. When you choose to fixate on height, it seems like you are avoiding responsibility for personal development in area you can control. Other short guys work to get friends, good jobs, great bodies and WOMEN like that.

[Potz4prez]

I hear that a lot... and it makes me giggle....Protection?? From what?? The Boogie Man??

 

Having worked as a bouncer for some time, I have witnessed literally hundreds of fistfights and brawls...Never did I see a taller guy have an advantage...As a matter of fact, some of the shorter guys are damn scrappy...

 

Sure, I suppose a guy like Shaquille O Neal, or JJ Watt is going to give someone some sense of "security" just by their presence, but they are freaks..The average, run of the mill 6' guy is no more imposing than the average 5'7" guy...

 

And the whole "really tall guy with a really short girl" always seemed odd...Like why would a 5' tall woman feel like a guy that was 6'4" be a better "fit" than, say, a guy that was 5'5"?? And vice versa.. Its a head scratcher..

 

But as they say...to each his own,,,

 

TFY

 

Dunno... but the short girls I've known care, and the average to tall girls seem to care less. Obviously not a blanket statement.

 

Oh yeah, height alone is a disadvantage in a fight the second it goes to the ground.

 

And height alone isn't even what girls are looking for. Height + muscle is what they're after. At 6'2, 175, probably <10% bf, I never have to worry about dudes thinking they can intimidate me, which increases my confidence, and maybe the girl vibes off of that? If I was 180+ then I'd probably be even more confident... but **** genetics

 

It's fun in the sack? That's the answer I get from girls too. It's nice knowing you can pick the girl up.

[xxoo]

You don't need to be tall to pick a woman up. Just strong

 

Given the choice of tall or broad chested, I'll take the broad shape every time. Of course, both works, too

[somedude81]

Again, I feel for you....

 

But I am telling you, as a person that is the same height as you, that it isnt as you say...Are there some women that reject short guys? Maybe...I say maybe because a lot of these women say this, then when they meet a short guy that blows their hair back, then all of a sudden its no big deal..That being said, who cares what hey like or dont like..Everyone has preferences...You might reject a woman because she is flat chested..Shell find someone else that wouldnt care about it..Simple..

 

And let me add another thing here...I am no "player"...Ive never had any "game" in my life...That is the farthest thing from who I am..Ive never even heard of this PUA nonsense before stumbling onto this site,,

 

Believe it or not, I dont hit on women and never have in my entire life..The mere thought repulses me and makes my skin crawl..Never cold approached a woman, ever..Never asked a stranger for her number or struck up an impromptu conversation..Ive been told I have a "quiet confidence" about me, but I dont know..Ive had difficulty communicating with anyone I dont already know for as long as I can remember...Point is, I have gotten attention without even trying...In fact, I am so aloof when it comes to this, it usually only occurs that someone is interested after they approach themselves or a friend of the person informed me..I am oblivious to the whole deal..

 

Ill say it again....its NOT your height...

 

TFY

 

OK, even though we're pretty much the same height, we've had completely different life experiences and you're unable to relate to me.

 

As I said before, you are most likely much better looking than I am. I have never received attention from women. Up until I was in my early 20's girls hated me. I was teased and made fun of by them. I had no confidence.

 

You are very lucky to have what you have.

 

In regards to dating and women, I've had it very bad.

[topaMAXX]

Dunno... but the short girls I've known care, and the average to tall girls seem to care less. Obviously not a blanket statement.

 

I'm a 5'6 guy too with a good looking face (I've heard many times that I look like James Franco). I get WAY more short girls than average height girls. In fact, when I hit on short girls 5'1 and below, they usually look at me and say "Wow!". Personally, 4'10-5'2 is my sweet spot.

 

I have dated girls my height and taller before, but they make me feel less masculine they are not my preference.

 

Oh yeah, height alone is a disadvantage in a fight the second it goes to the ground.

 

Being my charming self, I rarely get into fights. So this has never been an issue for me.

 

If the economy (and society) goes really down south and we need to go back to strong-arming people to get what we want, well, I have a lot of guns. Guns beat height.

 

And height alone isn't even what girls are looking for. Height + muscle is what they're after. At 6'2, 175, probably <10% bf, I never have to worry about dudes thinking they can intimidate me, which increases my confidence, and maybe the girl vibes off of that? If I was 180+ then I'd probably be even more confident... but **** genetics

 

I work out now, but didn't for the first 26 years of my life. Didn't hurt me at all with women.

 

It's fun in the sack? That's the answer I get from girls too. It's nice knowing you can pick the girl up.

 

I could see this being true. Maybe I should hook up with a 4'7 chick and see.