Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[iiiii]

SomeDude, I don't mean to be harsh, but hey maybe an honest perspective from a girl your own age will help a bit.

 

If you approached me in real life, I can honestly tell you: your height would be a negative, but it wouldn't automatically put me off you (if you doubt me, please note my previous post: my sweetie is about an inch shorter than me, and I have no intention of letting him go anytime soon!)

 

But if in real life you're displaying the attitude you're showing in these posts, that would automatically put me off you. By attitude I mean you seem defeated, depressed, and most importantly you seem like you're desperate to find a girl to make you happy. That's just not attractive, dude - girls like myself are attracted to happy, confident guys who seem like they're already having a great time.

 

I don't know if that helps (and perhaps I'm barking up the wrong tree entirely, because I understand your persona might be way different in life from what you project on this internet chat board, we all come here to vent after all). But just another vote for the idea that the height isn't the problem. Can't be. Like I said, I'm pretty cute, and my dude is shorter than me.

 

Hope that doesn't hurt your feelings.

Edited May 24, 2014 by iiiii

[Revolver]

I'm over 6 FT tall, and it's never done anything for me so I don't know what dudes are talking about when they say or imply tall guys get swarmed by females. My older brother is actually shorter than me(5"10)and he's basically barney stinson

[R3d]

And they [people who give me advice] act as if height discrimination magically disappears after high school...

[ltjg45]

And they [people who give me advice] act as if height discrimination magically disappears after high school...

 

No but it doesn't make as big of a difference as some people make it out to be.

[Imajerk17]

SomeDude, I don't mean to be harsh, but hey maybe an honest perspective from a girl your own age will help a bit.

 

If you approached me in real life, I can honestly tell you: your height would be a negative, but it wouldn't automatically put me off you (if you doubt me, please note my previous post: my sweetie is about an inch shorter than me, and I have no intention of letting him go anytime soon!)

 

But if in real life you're displaying the attitude you're showing in these posts, that would automatically put me off you. By attitude I mean you seem defeated, depressed, and most importantly you seem like you're desperate to find a girl to make you happy. That's just not attractive, dude - girls like myself are attracted to happy, confident guys who seem like they're already having a great time.

 

I don't know if that helps (and perhaps I'm barking up the wrong tree entirely, because I understand your persona might be way different in life from what you project on this internet chat board, we all come here to vent after all). But just another vote for the idea that the height isn't the problem. Can't be. Like I said, I'm pretty cute, and my dude is shorter than me.

 

Hope that doesn't hurt your feelings.

 

Great post iiiii. This is pretty much the thread right here.

 

Somedude's big issue seems to be that he (thinks he) is miserable without a woman, and yet the only way that he will be able to attract a woman is if he is happy without one. So, seems to me that the best thing (the only thing?) Somedude can do is to learn to be happy by himself, without a woman. If he insists that he can't do that, then this is a problem.

 

This is the basis for pretty much all the advice he has been given on here.

 

(I do see what topaMAXX is saying about charisma, social skills, but that comes later. Even the deadbeats who do well with women, do so well partly because they're confident on some level/Don't Really Care. Which comes back to not needing a woman. See where I'm going with this?

 

He was still also able to attract a woman once. So he's got *something* in him. It's this rest of his life stuff that is holding him back.)

Edited May 24, 2014 by Imajerk17

[topaMAXX]

Women still want to be in a "traditional" role...Believe me, I live in a very affluent area..There are tons of women that gave up VERY high paying and powerful careers to be SAHM's...

 

It sounds like we run in different crowds because this is not what I've seen. In the cases that I've seen, the women are very independent and completely control the relationships. Some of these women are high earners, while the dad is a SAHD.

 

Either way, my point is that MOST women want independence and traditionalism on their terms. These high earning women that I know still demand that the guy pays for them and acts chivalrous. Some of these women are nice and pretty enough, but I would never be able to justify (to myself) dating them, as I feel that the guy has to be really desperate to put up with this kind of nonsense.

 

It seems that you know many women that are not as I describe, which is good. I've rarely met women like that, but it's good to know that they are out there.

 

 

And I interact with a lot of women in the day to day running of my businesses...Including young women...Women have their shyt together, for the most part...They mature at a rate that is so far ahead of their male counterparts, its embarrassing as a to say it as a man..

 

Its the men(boys) that are the problem...Most of the younger guys I know act like 17 year olds...I was paying a mortgage and running my own million dollar company by the time I was 24...By SD;s age I was pretty much seasoned..And I grew up poor, so its not like I inherited the family business/fortune...It was no big deal for me, yet this concept is so foreign to the average 20 something year old guy that I should be enshrined in the Smithsonian...

 

I'm not saying that men are all good either. In fact, my brother is as you describe. I remember many a night when I was in college and grad school, where I was trying to study and he was having crazy parties, getting in fist fights with the neighbors, etc. So I definitely got an in-depth look at what you're talking about.

 

I disagree that women are any better though.

 

But all kidding aside..Here is the problem for a guy like SD...Hes 32 years old and is where someone 22 might be expected to be....Good women his age wont want him...So he resorts to the kiddies...and the problem is either they are party girls looking for a Pauly D type or they are very mature and want a guy who may be his age but successful...So he is out of the game, for the most part...

 

Just a thought...

 

TFY

 

It seems to be that MOST girls like guys that really don't have much going for them. At the very least, they are initially attracted to these guys, but some are smart enough to date the nicer, more stable guy. The bum guys are fun and exciting so many women will choose them.

 

I used to be fun and exciting too. Then I got into the work world and I'm pretty successful for a guy my age (27, no debt, low six figure income), but I work constantly and my former bad boy-ish self took a backseat to my more responsible self. Since then, I've noticed that, while I still am successful with women, it's nowhere near what I used to be.

 

And that's primarily the reason that I date foreign women (either ones that just got here....or still in their own country, where I travel to see them). I've found that women in many other countries value financially stable men, whereas women here generally don't.

 

I'm also interested in entrepreneurship (just don't have the time right now). My ideal situation would be to spend half of the year working in the US to make money and the other half in a foreign country with women that value stable guys.

 

Anyway, went on a bit of a rant there. But my point is that our society is messed up completely and very few in my generation (both men and women) value things like stability and hard work. This is one of the reasons why China will likely eclipse us in the near future as the world superpower.

[Woggle]

Not commenting on the height thing but I think China is already the bigger economy. Simply traveling to the Caribbean made me realize that America's sense of superiority is not deserved anymore. We are like that once huge celebrity that doesn't realize their coolness is fading and doesn't want to anything to get it's crap together and be great again.

[topaMAXX]

Not commenting on the height thing but I think China is already the bigger economy. Simply traveling to the Caribbean made me realize that America's sense of superiority is not deserved anymore. We are like that once huge celebrity that doesn't realize their coolness is fading and doesn't want to anything to get it's crap together and be great again.

 

As someone that has traveled the world, I agree with this.

 

If anything, there is more disdain than anything for Americans in many countries (not all).

 

Especially with what has been happening in this country (economic collapse, shifting towards socialism, feminism, supporting poor people and welfare, corruption), I certainly am not proud to be an American.

[Woggle]

As someone that has traveled the world, I agree with this.

 

If anything, there is more disdain than anything for Americans in many countries (not all).

 

Especially with what has been happening in this country (economic collapse, shifting towards socialism, feminism, corruption), I certainly am not proud to be an American.

 

I wouldn't call it disdain. I was in Bermuda and people were actually nice and friendly. There wasn't that feeling of a bunch of people aimlessly running the rat race that I see in the states. I didn't see everybody glued to their mobile devices and being nasty with each other. I saw couples that looked at each other with genuine love in their eyes. I am talking about the residents and not just people on vacation. If I had the money I could see myself moving there. Even the water is clean.

[topaMAXX]

I wouldn't call it disdain. I was in Bermuda and people were actually nice and friendly. There wasn't that feeling of a bunch of people aimlessly running the rat race that I see in the states. I didn't see everybody glued to their mobile devices and being nasty with each other. I saw couples that looked at each other with genuine love in their eyes. I am talking about the residents and not just people on vacation. If I had the money I could see myself moving there. Even the water is clean.

 

I wasn't specifically talking about Bermuda. I've never been there personally. But in many countries, yes, there is some disdain. Sh*t, ever been to Hawaii? They're technically part of the US, but they absolutely hate us. They even have "Kill Haoli Day" (kill white person day).

 

So, yes, disdain definitely exists.

 

And, yes, I agree that we live in possibly the worst culture in the world. People here are some of the least friendly and pleasant that I've ever come across. It's one of the reasons why I'm spending increasing amount of time abroad.

[Woggle]

I wasn't specifically talking about Bermuda. I've never been there personally. But in many countries, yes, there is some disdain. Sh*t, ever been to Hawaii? They're technically part of the US, but they absolutely hate us. They even have "Kill Haoli Day" (kill white person day).

 

So, yes, disdain definitely exists.

 

And, yes, I agree that we live in possibly the worst culture in the world. People here are some of the least friendly and pleasant that I've ever come across. It's one of the reasons why I'm spending increasing amount of time abroad.

 

True and honestly I don't blame them for having a negative view of America. We surely don't put out a positive image. Even on one of the tours we took in St Martin one of the other people was such a condescending moron. I wouldn't have blamed the tour guide if he dropped her off then went on without her. I did find on the islands that once people realize you aren't a typical American idiot they soften up considerably.

[somedude81]

Whelp. I guess being tall is just as important with women as I thought it was. Maybe even more so.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/477843-had-enough-girlfriend-how-end-cordially-4.html#post5720673

Limo is tall, has a college degree, a good job, a nice apartment and car, and lots of friends. He will have no problem finding a new girlfriend who isn't completely nuts.

 

I know this thread isn't about me.

 

I'm just commenting on the fact that "tall" is actually used as a reason why it won't be hard for him to find a non crazy girl. Also the fact that you said it first, makes it seem like it's the primary reason why.

 

If he was short, would you still think he'd be fine?

 

That's what I'm talking about.

Edited May 26, 2014 by somedude81

[Potz4prez]

I'm tall and I've waded through crazy till this point.

 

Just means I can keep my head above water -.-

[somedude81]

I'm short and I haven't.

 

I've only dated one woman and she wasn't crazy.

 

I haven't been able to see what it's like to be with a crazy woman.

 

That's so stupid that being tall is an actual reason why guys can date a lot. It's as stupid as women getting lots of dates only because they have big boobs.

[Potz4prez]

Let me elaborate... I'm tall, AND I've never had a girlfriend. I had sex for the first time and my first date... at 24. I, like you, had some **** to take care of before I could be someone worth dating. Now that I have my **** together, I can get dates like it's nothing.

 

I hope this helps to illustrate that being tall doesn't get you ****.

[somedude81]

Let me elaborate... I'm tall, AND I've never had a girlfriend. I had sex for the first time and my first date... at 24. I, like you, had some **** to take care of before I could be someone worth dating. Now that I have my **** together, I can get dates like it's nothing.

 

I hope this helps to illustrate that being tall doesn't get you ****.

 

Then your **** must have been pretty bad if it prevented you from dating, and now you're not having any problems at all. If anything it was just holding you back.

 

If you actually didn't get laid until 30, then I would say that being tall doesn't mean a thing.

[Potz4prez]

Then your **** must have been pretty bad if it prevented you from dating, and now you're not having any problems at all. If anything it was just holding you back.

 

If you actually didn't get laid until 30, then I would say that being tall doesn't mean a thing.

 

Yes, so you can see why I have no patience for people who refuse to put in the required effort for self transformation and instead fall back on pitiful excuses like "I'm too short."

[somedude81]

So how much of yourself did you actually have to change? Are you a different person than you used to be?

[clia]

Whelp. I guess being tall is just as important with women as I thought it was. Maybe even more so.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/477843-had-enough-girlfriend-how-end-cordially-4.html#post5720673

 

 

I know this thread isn't about me.

 

I'm just commenting on the fact that "tall" is actually used as a reason why it won't be hard for him to find a non crazy girl. Also the fact that you said it first, makes it seem like it's the primary reason why.

 

If he was short, would you still think he'd be fine?

 

That's what I'm talking about.

 

Yes, I do think he would still be fine if he was short. But he isn't short.

 

I wasn't listing his assets in any particular order. He has a lot going for him.

 

A lot of women like tall men. A lot of women like short men. A lot of women don't care. I personally think height is an advantage for men. But that's my opinion. I don't speak for all women.

 

Stop worrying so much about what you can't change and focus on what you can change.

[somedude81]

Yes, I do think he would still be fine if he was short. But he isn't short.

 

I wasn't listing his assets in any particular order. He has a lot going for him.

 

A lot of women like tall men. A lot of women like short men. A lot of women don't care. I personally think height is an advantage for men. But that's my opinion. I don't speak for all women.

 

Stop worrying so much about what you can't change and focus on what you can change.

The bold is what I'm questioning. There is a reason why you listed tall first, even if you think you weren't doing them in any order.

 

The majority of women think height is an advantage for men. And when I've done so horribly, it sucks that I've been forced to get by without that advantage. I need all the advantages I can possibly get. Not the negative of being so short and several others I have that build upon each other.

 

I'm never going to get over the thought that I would have done so much better with women if I was just four inches taller.

[Potz4prez]

So how much of yourself did you actually have to change? Are you a different person than you used to be?

 

Made big mental and emotional changes, started weightlifting, picked up my new life-hobby (swimming), cut back on unhealthy habits and started opening myself up to risks. I'm still the same person - just without all the thorns and tar. Still working on being better every day.

[thefooloftheyear]

The bold is what I'm questioning. There is a reason why you listed tall first, even if you think you weren't doing them in any order.

 

The majority of women think height is an advantage for men. And when I've done so horribly, it sucks that I've been forced to get by without that advantage. I need all the advantages I can possibly get. Not the negative of being so short and several others I have that build upon each other.

 

I'm never going to get over the thought that I would have done so much better with women if I was just four inches taller.

 

Irregardless of why women think height is an "advantage"...think about it for a minute,...

 

How is height really an advantage??

 

What practical reason is there to be 6'2" as opposed to 5'6 or 5'7"? Truth is that from a practical standpoint there is no advantage....Period..And if you want to look at this further, there are several advantages to being shorter..

 

 

Good loooking is good looking...Like I stated previously..I think the only guys who really have some beef are the ones that are 5' and under...Even then, surprisingly, some have no issue..

 

At the end of the day you need not be great with women...>All you really need is one good one.,,,

 

 

TFY

[MidwestUSA]

The bold is what I'm questioning. There is a reason why you listed tall first, even if you think you weren't doing them in any order.

 

 

You've never heard tall, dark, and handsome? Listed in exactly that order?

Like a burger and fries, or the sun, the moon and the stars.

 

 

You're grasping at everything to hold on to your convenient excuse.

[somedude81]

You've never heard tall, dark, and handsome? Listed in exactly that order?

Like a burger and fries, or the sun, the moon and the stars.

 

 

You're grasping at everything to hold on to your convenient excuse.

 

The most important things are always listed first.

[MidwestUSA]

The most important things are always listed first.

Grasp fail.