Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[MidwestUSA]

Heh, this coming from a woman who has an avatar of a smiley face holding a flower

 

 

 

That's really cool.

 

Yes I know that some women out there are less superficial than others. I just need to meet them when they are available and get them to date me.

 

Replace 'get them to date me' with 'do everything I can to make these girls see me as someone worth dating'.

 

 

It's not a safari hunt.

[Smilecharmer]

Heh, this coming from a woman who has an avatar of a smiley face holding a flower

 

 

 

That's really cool.

 

Yes I know that some women out there are less superficial than others. I just need to meet them when they are available and get them to date me.

 

Of course I want everyone to be happy and smile but I know my personal smile and yours is up to us personally. Btw, happiness attracts people to us. Frowns repel.

[somedude81]

Replace 'get them to date me' with 'do everything I can to make these girls see me as someone worth dating'.

 

 

It's not a safari hunt.

 

You have no idea how much of a massive undertaking that is.

 

I have been trying for at least the past ten years to make myself attractive to women and I've gotten piss poor results. It's extremely frustrating.

 

I'd say more, but then somebody is bound to give me the good ole, "Life isn't fair" line.

[Bruce Leigh]

It's not a safari hunt.

 

Thought of a dating show hosted by Sir David Attenborough for some reason there

[Weezy1973]

You have no idea how much of a massive undertaking that is.

 

I have been trying for at least the past ten years to make myself attractive to women and I've gotten piss poor results. It's extremely frustrating.

 

I'd say more, but then somebody is bound to give me the good ole, "Life isn't fair" line.

 

What exactly have you been doing for the past ten years to make yourself attractive to women? I know here is just a small spattering of the suggestions I've seen go your way.

 

1. Make friends. Develop a social circle.

2. Concentrate on school and get good grades.

3. Focus on women your own age.

4. After school, concentrate on your career, work hard etc.

5. Volunteer, have empathy, do nice things for others.

 

Do you do any of these things? There was a recent post of yours that you missed an assignment, and now won't get an 'A' in whatever class it was you needed an 'A' in.

 

You're 32, average looking at best, struggling with school, have no friends or social circle, don't seem to want to connect with people unless it delivers sex, and have no concrete career goals or ambitions. I don't even think you know what your own values are!

 

So what exactly have you been doing for the past 10 years to make yourself more attractive women?

[somedude81]

What exactly have you been doing for the past ten years to make yourself attractive to women? I know here is just a small spattering of the suggestions I've seen go your way.

 

1. Make friends. Develop a social circle.

2. Concentrate on school and get good grades.

3. Focus on women your own age.

4. After school, concentrate on your career, work hard etc.

5. Volunteer, have empathy, do nice things for others.

 

Do you do any of these things? There was a recent post of yours that you missed an assignment, and now won't get an 'A' in whatever class it was you needed an 'A' in.

 

You're 32, average looking at best, struggling with school, have no friends or social circle, don't seem to want to connect with people unless it delivers sex, and have no concrete career goals or ambitions. I don't even think you know what your own values are!

 

So what exactly have you been doing for the past 10 years to make yourself more attractive women?

 

I'm not going to bother with saying what I've been doing because somebody is bound to say that it wasn't enough or other judgmental comments.

 

BTW

 

You're 32, average looking at best

 

Correct.

 

 

struggling with school,

 

Correct but I'm 99% done.

 

 

have no friends or social circle,

 

Correct.

 

don't seem to want to connect with people unless it delivers sex

 

That's not completely true.

 

 

, and have no concrete career goals or ambitions.

 

Completely wrong

 

 

I don't even think you know what your own values are!

 

And again wrong.

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm not going to bother with saying what I've been doing because somebody is bound to say that it wasn't enough or other judgmental comments.

 

BTW

 

You're 32, average looking at best

 

Correct.

 

 

struggling with school,

 

Correct but I'm 99% done.

 

 

have no friends or social circle,

 

Correct.

 

don't seem to want to connect with people unless it delivers sex

 

That's not completely true.

 

 

, and have no concrete career goals or ambitions.

 

Completely wrong

 

 

I don't even think you know what your own values are!

 

And again wrong.

 

So instead of crying about why you cant get laid right now, get all your ducks in a row(you know, the stuff you can control) and maybe you actually will!!! If I were you, id completely forget about women for now...Focus on the goal...If something comes along during this process (and it well might)..then great...But dont obsess over it..

 

Ive said it before...and mean no offense, but Id be embarrrassed to approach a woman with what you are currently bringing to the table..Its not what they are going to want to hear...So, you see...you are trying this from a position of weakness..You are banking on finding an adult woman who will take you as you are....at 32? Like a needle in a haystack...Maybe a woman with zero options or in the same boat as you? Maybe...But they have the advantage because they have a pair of tits and a pussy and you dont...So thats the hand you are dealt...

 

 

You are like a window shopper complaining about why you cant buy something when your pockets are empty....*shrug*..Do something about it and you can get in the game instead of riding the bench..

 

I feel like I am beating you up, but I am not...You can do this.....really!

 

TFY

Edited June 21, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[somedude81]

Meh, It was much too amazing to have a girlfriend in my life for me to stop wanting one and give up all desire. I can't turn off my sex drive or desire for companionship until I get all my "ducks in a row."

 

I'll just try to find a way to make it work.

[thefooloftheyear]

Meh, It was much too amazing to have a girlfriend in my life for me to stop wanting one and give up all desire. I can't turn off my sex drive or desire for companionship until I get all my "ducks in a row."

 

I'll just try to find a way to make it work.

 

But its not working....

 

Forget about the advice you are getting here from women...They are well intentioned, but they have about as much insight to your real issues as you would trying to understand what its like to have menstrual cramps...

 

Listen to what I am saying....

 

The guys that dont give a shyt about when or how "amazing" it is to have a woman are the ones that they(women) are fighting over..Not that they dont actually want it, but they have their lives to live and dont obsess over it...It happens..Yes, even for us short guys...

 

Good luck to you..

 

TFY

[somedude81]

But its not working....

 

Forget about the advice you are getting here from women...They are well intentioned, but they have about as much insight to your real issues as you would trying to understand what its like to have menstrual cramps...

 

Listen to what I am saying....

 

The guys that dont give a shyt about when or how "amazing" it is to have a woman are the ones that they(women) are fighting over..Not that they dont actually want it, but they have their lives to live and dont obsess over it...It happens..Yes, even for us short guys...

 

Good luck to you..

 

TFY

You are telling me to give up, so why the hell should I listen to you?

[thefooloftheyear]

You are telling me to give up, so why the hell should I listen to you?

 

OK....No sweat....we can all do this again in a year or two from now..Maybe you will have 50,000 posts by then....

 

Have fun, bro..

 

TFY

[Imajerk17]

You have no idea how much of a massive undertaking that is.

 

I have been trying for at least the past ten years to make myself attractive to women and I've gotten piss poor results. It's extremely frustrating.

 

I'd say more, but then somebody is bound to give me the good ole, "Life isn't fair" line.

 

 

Somedude, I'm just asking.... Did you ever revise your OLD profile as suggested on here?

[somedude81]

Somedude, I'm just asking.... Did you ever revise your OLD profile as suggested on here?

 

After the disaster that the thread turned out to be, I decided to give up on OLD for a while.

 

At least until I get a job and actually have some pictures where I don't look like ass.

[Bruce Leigh]

You are telling me to give up, so why the hell should I listen to you?

 

I don't see that he is telling you to give up, just take a few steps back, focus on something else and see where it goes from there.

[Bruce Leigh]

Somedude, I'm just asking.... Did you ever revise your OLD profile as suggested on here?

 

But seeing as so many women on line would never get to see it, what real good would that do?

[silicone]

OLD is just a massive meat market.

[CrystalCastles]

Meh, It was much too amazing to have a girlfriend in my life for me to stop wanting one and give up all desire. I can't turn off my sex drive or desire for companionship until I get all my "ducks in a row."

 

I'll just try to find a way to make it work.

 

It is ok to want a girlfriend. It's not ok to obsess and make it your life's purpose to get one.

 

I know how hard it is to find a partner. I sympathize and understand your frustration. But wanting a partner and throwing yourself at people isn't going to get you there faster. It's all a matter of probability and how soon the cards fall in your favour.

 

Please listen to the other posters. You need to learn to be happy by yourself. I know it's hard, but you can do it. You need to let go of this idea that a partner will provide you the happiness you seek and accept that you might be single for a while.

[somedude81]

It is ok to want a girlfriend. It's not ok to obsess and make it your life's purpose to get one.

Getting a girlfriend isn't my life's purpose.

 

But there is nothing I want more than to have a woman in my life again.

 

I know how hard it is to find a partner. I sympathize and understand your frustration. But wanting a partner and throwing yourself at people isn't going to get you there faster. It's all a matter of probability and how soon the cards fall in your favour.

I don't throw myself at people. I'm actually pretty reserved when it comes to women and I don't like to take risks.

 

Frankly I'd probably have better success at dating if I did throw myself at women.

 

 

You need to let go of this idea that a partner will provide you the happiness you seek and accept that you might be single for a while.

Why should I let go of an idea that I've already confirmed to be true?

 

I had a girlfriend for six months, and that was the happiest time in my entire life.

 

My life after she left me has been trash.

 

So why would I not want to have a woman in my life again?

 

As for me accepting that I might be single for a while; uh, I've been single for virtually my entire life. I'm turning 33 in about three months and I've been in a relationship for only six months in my entire life.

 

Being single sucks and I'm just sick of it.

[AD1980]

SD, have you considered learning game?

 

In my experience as a short guy, your game has to be that much better because you need to make up for the lack of height. I believe that short guys that do well with women have naturally good game or very good looks to offset the height. I don't believe that a good career will help you. You will still not get girls. You'll just be a little richer lol.

 

Its amazing how shallow women are yet men are the ones crucified for caring about looks too much..

[CrystalCastles]

Getting a girlfriend isn't my life's purpose.

 

But there is nothing I want more than to have a woman in my life again.

 

Sorry, your posts come off that way.

 

Why should I let go of an idea that I've already confirmed to be true?

 

I had a girlfriend for six months, and that was the happiest time in my entire life.

 

My life after she left me has been trash.

 

So why would I not want to have a woman in my life again?

 

As for me accepting that I might be single for a while; uh, I've been single for virtually my entire life. I'm turning 33 in about three months and I've been in a relationship for only six months in my entire life.

 

Being single sucks and I'm just sick of it.

 

Sorry, I meant, accept that you can be single for your whole life. I was trying to put it in less harsh terms.

 

I get that you're frustrated, but getting angry isn't going to get you what you want.

 

Your life isn't trash unless you make it trash. Only you control whether your life is trash or not.

[somedude81]

Sorry, your posts come off that way.

 

 

 

Sorry, I meant, accept that you can be single for your whole life. I was trying to put it in less harsh terms.

 

I get that you're frustrated, but getting angry isn't going to get you what you want.

 

Your life isn't trash unless you make it trash. Only you control whether your life is trash or not.

 

No, I will never accept that I might be single for the rest of my life. There'd just be no point.

 

I was extremely happy when I was in a relationship. Every day since she left has just felt, empty.

[Yamaha]

If your an introvert try being the opposite.

What do you have to lose?

Your not happy now. Walking around hoping people notice you is fruitless and boring.

Smile at people. Speak a greeting, "nice day" or the like. Look people in the eye. Many people are just waiting for the other to speak first.

Be that person. You will be happier and happiness is contagious.

Do the same with women. Smile and speak. Even those you have no interest in. Get in the habit of being friendly. If you look at guys who get g/f's they are outgoing and friendly.

It takes work to change your personality. Start now and end the fear. Fear is your enemy. it keeps you shy and an introvert. Be bold. Force yourself first and over time it will be much more natural.

Friendly people make friends. Friendly people get noticed by the opposite sex. You might not get the hot ones but people will take notice and someone will want to get what you have.

You will be happier and the world won't seem like a dark empty place.

Try it and see what happens. What do you have to lose?

[Imajerk17]

After the disaster that the thread turned out to be, I decided to give up on OLD for a while.

 

At least until I get a job and actually have some pictures where I don't look like ass.

 

I'm just wondering about all the effort you say you've been putting in.

 

1. RE online dating. There will still a lot of great posts in that thread. Hopefully you either disabled your account, or changed your username (getting rid of the "Naughty...") in the process?

 

2. A few meetups for you were suggested, did you ever end up going to any of them?

 

3. Did you do any cold approaches?

 

4. I thought (going from your threads in 2012) that you were "99% done" with school two years ago... How is your class on feminism?

 

5. To your credit, you did make an attempt to ask out a few girls in your class. BUT, why did you wait until the last day? Why weren't you flirting with them earlier?

 

Im not trying to pick on you Somedude, you don't owe us effort or a progress report or anything, but c'mon. Effort is action. Effort isn't sitting around really wishing things were so. Effort is doing stuff. If you really have been making an effort you can make a list of things you've done the fast few months.

Edited June 22, 2014 by Imajerk17

[Bruce Leigh]

I don't believe that a good career will help you. You will still not get girls. You'll just be a little richer lol.

 

That story ABC news did a few years ago, whilst a little bit dramatic did suggest exactly what you have said above.

 

 

Women will take just about any shortcoming in a man, except in the height department, according to Andrea McGinty, who founded the San Diego-based dating service It's Just Lunch.

 

McGinty helped ABCNEWS put together an experiment to test just how willing women are to date shorter men. We brought together several short men and asked them to stand next to taller men. We invited groups of women to look at the men and choose a date.

 

To see if the women would go for short guys who were successful, ABCNEWS' Lynn Sherr created extraordinary résumés for the shorter men. She told the women that the shorter men included a doctor, a best-selling author, a champion skier, a venture capitalist who'd made millions by the age of 25.

 

Nothing worked. The women always chose the tall men. Sherr asked whether there'd be anything she could say that would make the shortest of the men, who was 5 feet, irresistible. One of the women replied, "Maybe the only thing you could say is that the other four are murderers." Another backed her up, saying that had the taller men had a criminal record she might have been swayed to choose a shorter man. Another said she'd have considered the shorter men, if the taller men had been described as "child molesters."

 

The desire for tall men begins very young, apparently. ABCNEWS gave elementary school students a test, asking them to match a small, medium or large figure of a man with a series of words. The kids overwhelmingly linked the tall figure to the words strong, handsome and smart. The linked the short figure to the words sad, scared and weak. More than half of the kids also chose to link the short figure to the words, dumb, yucky and no friends.

[Bruce Leigh]

Yes, I saw that video.

 

To be fair though, the girls that were judging the guys tended to be average looking to ugly. In my personal experience, I've actually found average looking and ugly women to be more picky about height than attractive women (unless the attractive woman was tall).

 

Maybe this has to do with insecurities about their looks? Who knows...

Just a strange observation that I've noticed in my personal life.

 

Page 2: The Ugly Truth About Beauty - ABC News

 

Gives a few examples on looks and how other people responded to them.

 

"It's a non-conscious process," said Tom Cash, a psychologist at Old Dominion University. "They assume that more attractive people have an array of valued characteristics."