Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[Glinda.Good]

Our personal experiences are the only ones that matter. I've already mentioned that in this thread.

 

 

Fine. Then you should be able to accord the same respect to the personal experiences of other people, including all the short men who have a different experience from yours. And, WOMEN. Yes, our personal experiences are paramount to us, believe it or not. And are our truth.

 

But, side note - if your own personal experience is the only thing that matters, what on Earth are you doing on a discussion board?

[serial muse]

Fine. Then you should be able to accord the same respect to the personal experiences of other people, including all the short men who have a different experience from yours. And, WOMEN. Yes, our personal experiences are paramount to us, believe it or not. And are our truth.

 

My thought exactly.

[somedude81]

Fine. Then you should be able to accord the same respect to the personal experiences of other people, including all the short men who have a different experience from yours. And, WOMEN. Yes, our personal experiences are paramount to us, believe it or not. And are our truth.

 

But, side note - if your own personal experience is the only thing that matters, what on Earth are you doing on a discussion board?

 

The fact that other short guys don't struggle with women doesn't help me when I'm sleeping alone every night.

 

That's what I meant that only my experiences matter.

[Candy_Pants]

The fact that other short guys don't struggle with women doesn't help me when I'm sleeping alone every night.

 

That's what I meant that only my experiences matter.

 

Why not ask yourself, "What are these short men who are successful with women doing differently than I am?.And how can I try to adopt some of what they're doing and apply to my life?"

 

In other words, grow.

[somedude81]

Why not ask yourself, "What are these short men who are successful with women doing differently than I am?.And how can I try to adopt some of what they're doing and apply to my life?"

 

In other words, grow.

 

The better question, is what have they experienced that I haven't?

 

The short guys that do well with women, for whatever reason never developed self-esteem issues.

 

Some of them while still being short did luck out with their genes as in having a really good looking face or developing muscle very easily.

 

I'm basically a combination of being short, while having nothing whatsoever that can give me an edge and having poor confidence with depression thrown in just for the hell of it.

 

Yeah I can get women, but only if I work hella hard. Much harder than the average man has to work.

Edited June 25, 2014 by somedude81

[Candy_Pants]

They could've had self esteem problems, and worked hard to get over them. They could've always been confident. Most likely it's a combination of things. But YES, hard work is always needed to overcome shortcomings. Perceived or actual.

 

It's not ONLY the physical that attracts women. It's also many other things which I think would benefit you immensely if you really started to work on them.

[somedude81]

That actually gave me an idea.

 

Any of you short guys out there 5'8 or under who do well with women:

 

Have you ever struggled with women?

 

Have you ever had self-esteem issues?

 

Do you feel that you have to work hard to get women, or have had to work hard in the past to get your current level of success?

 

Or did things just seem to always work out in your favor without putting in much effort?

Edited June 25, 2014 by somedude81

[Candy_Pants]

My first boyfriend was 5'5". He was sexy. What wasn't sexy was his obsession with his height.

[Imajerk17]

The fact that other short guys don't struggle with women doesn't help me when I'm sleeping alone every night.

 

That's what I meant that only my experiences matter.

 

What SHOULD matter to you is that there are other guys your height or less who USED to struggle, and who ARE NOW doing well with women (guys such as myself). These guys learned in the process of becoming successful that their height hardly ever mattered either way.

 

It is in fact where we are coming from when we say put yourself out there (meetup groups, get new hobbies), work on the rest of your life (seems like you've been "almost done" with your degree for a long while now), and revise your OLD profile (you're still not "Naughty..." here right? You are coming across extra creepy if you message girls much younger than you).

 

I am not sure if you have taken ANY of the above advice.

[somedude81]

My first boyfriend was 5'5". He was sexy. What wasn't sexy was his obsession with his height.

 

How was he sexy? Face, body, something else?

 

I'm actually a little surprised that you still dated him in spite of him being obsessed with his height. I thought women were turned off by insecurities...

[Candy_Pants]

How was he sexy? Face, body, something else?

 

I'm actually a little surprised that you still dated him in spite of him being obsessed with his height. I thought women were turned off by insecurities...

 

He was a very skilled in martial arts, was a gentleman, and had beautiful skin.

 

I dated him before I knew about the height obsession. Also, I wasn't a "woman". I was 16. He didn't let his insecurities show at first. By the end, they scared me. He became obsessed with me.

[Imajerk17]

That actually gave me an idea.

 

Any of you short guys out there 5'8 or under who do well with women:

 

Have you ever struggled with women?

 

Have you ever had self-esteem issues?

 

Do you feel that you have to work hard to get women, or have had to work hard in the past to get your current level of success?

 

Or did things just seem to always work out in your favor without putting in much effort?

 

1. Yes, I did struggle badly with women.

 

2. Yes, I did have self-esteem issues. But then I've come to realize that everyone does to an extent.

 

3. Used to have to work hard. I had to push myself to get over my shyness, to become less reactive/intense (I used to take myself way too seriously), and to become a cooler, better person.

[hasaquestion]

That actually gave me an idea.

 

Any of you short guys out there 5'8 or under who do well with women:

 

Have you ever struggled with women?

 

Have you ever had self-esteem issues?

 

Do you feel that you have to work hard to get women, or have had to work hard in the past to get your current level of success?

 

Or did things just seem to always work out in your favor without putting in much effort?

 

 

The majority of men who are taller than 5'8 have to "work hard to get women" too. More often than not people are "average". "Average" is normal.

 

Somedude you have to work hard to get ANYTHING. If you don't apply yourself to making friends and being a good friend, you won't have any friends. If you don't work hard in school, you don't graduate. If you don't work hard in the gym, you won't get in better shape.

 

I don't get it.

 

You fixate on the fact that, say, 20% of the male population has these tremendous natural advantages (dark, handsome, or taller than 6') that you don't. Meanwhile, another 40% of the population is doing fine. And instead of doing the leg work it takes to be part of that other 40%, you sit around b*tching about how unfair it is that you aren't in that first 20%.

[Content]

That actually gave me an idea.

 

Any of you short guys out there 5'8 or under who do well with women:

 

Have you ever struggled with women?

 

Have you ever had self-esteem issues?

 

Do you feel that you have to work hard to get women, or have had to work hard in the past to get your current level of success?

 

Or did things just seem to always work out in your favor without putting in much effort?

 

I never "struggled" but i wasnt a player either i got rejected but also had alot of women

 

I never struggled with self esteem because i always knew my self worth and had a loving family to reinstill that in me

 

As far as working hard everyone has to put in effort theyres not many men outside of celebrites who have women fawning at their feet

 

Contrary to what some women on here might say and what some short men might think women arent kneeling at the alter of every tall man, this sites makes it sound like even tall average looking men are treated like rockstars by women and thats not the case lol

 

yes a tall very handsome man will do well with women but how many of us those are out there? theyres millions of owmen they arent getting every women on the planet only 12% of men are over 6 feet and much less who are also very good looking stop worrying about it.

Edited June 25, 2014 by Content

[organizedchaos]

The better question, is what have they experienced that I haven't?

 

The short guys that do well with women, for whatever reason never developed self-esteem issues.

 

Some of them while still being short did luck out with their genes as in having a really good looking face or developing muscle very easily.

 

I'm basically a combination of being short, while having nothing whatsoever that can give me an edge and having poor confidence with depression thrown in just for the hell of it.

 

Yeah I can get women, but only if I work hella hard. Much harder than the average man has to work.

 

So since you can't change your height, you can change these other aspects of your life to help up your odds because as has been pointed out, short guys can get women.

 

But those guys probably don't have the other issues you deal with - issues you've been given advice on thousands of times in previous threads and posts over the past 5 years.

 

Being over 5'8" doesn't automatically make your dating life any easier either. You still have to have something to offer women.

[Badsingularity]

 

Being over 5'8" doesn't automatically make your dating life any easier either. You still have to have something to offer women.

 

At 5'9" I had to work very hard to become the person I am today that has no problem attracting women.

[Glinda.Good]

 

The majority of men who are taller than 5'8 have to "work hard to get women" too. More often than not people are "average". "Average" is normal.

 

Somedude you have to work hard to get ANYTHING.

 

I KNOW.

 

And even working HARD is no guarantee of getting anything, whether you are tall or short.

 

This is what is so confusing, and, yes, annoying, about all of this kind of talk.

 

It's like someone believes that there is an entitlement - in this case, that would be "getting a girlfriend," which everybody is supposed to get. But somehow, unfairly, this person believes that fate has dealt him a bad hand and his girlfriend has failed to be delivered to him.

 

Meanwhile not doing a single thing to make himself a person with much more to offer someone. Not one thing. Because they believe that whatever problems they have will disappear when the girlfriend finally shows up.

 

Sad cycle.

[Bruce Leigh]

My brother is 5'10, i am 5'7.

We look a lot like each other, some people cannot tell us apart unless we are out together.

Even with the 3 inch height difference ??

 

I wouldn't consider my dating history a success as i am still single but then so is he.

But he has had far less opportunities to make his a success, mainly due to him being quiet.

I am not quiet

[iiiii]

The science geek in me would be incredibly interested in any studies that investigate whether height affects how likely a man is to get (or stay) married.

 

Because, I think it's hard to debate that (all other things being equal - which obviously they never are) shorter guys have a disadvantage attracting strange women for one night stands or casual dating relationships.

 

But are short guys more likely to ultimately end up alone, or do they marry at the same rate as any other guy? I wonder.

[Glinda.Good]

If I didn't have this face and was just average, yes, I would absolutely struggle (just like all of my short friends that aren't good-looking struggle).

 

By "struggle," do you mean having difficulties getting dates? I'm just not seeing this as a struggle. A problem, maybe.

 

So, you are living proof that a man's height has no impact on his search for sex. Right?

[Pyro]

To add to the earlier discussion:

 

I am 5'8. I didn't have a single GF until after high school. You better believe that messed with my self esteem. After my first real relationship ended I was a mess thinking that I would never find anyone else.

 

I then actually worked on improving myself instead of sitting around complaining and making excuses.

 

The main change was that I stopped caring what others thought of me and realised that I can be happy by myself and enjoy life. I went out with my friends and had hobbies. I was single but I didn't care. I did want a relationship but I knew that by not thinking about it and going about my business that many opportunities would come up to meet women and it did. Many of them didn't work and some did, but regardless of the outcome I kept my head high and did not make any excuses.

 

SD have you considered giving yourself a new look? New hairstyle and some new outfits. Hairstyles can change the way somewhat how you look to the opposite sex.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Pyro

[Bruce Leigh]

SD have you considered giving yourself a new look? New hairstyle and some new outfits. Hairstyles can change the way somewhat how you look to the opposite sex.

Just google "fashion tips for short guys"

The info on what to do and not what to do is out there.

Most of what is said is what the taller guy takes for granted, clothes that fit how they should.

[Els]

Our personal experiences are the only ones that matter. I've already mentioned that in this thread.

 

Actually, believe it or not, I wasn't referring to you in that post. It was topamaxx's blanket assertion about all short guys that I was referring to.

 

That actually gave me an idea.

 

Any of you short guys out there 5'8 or under who do well with women:

 

Have you ever struggled with women?

 

Have you ever had self-esteem issues?

 

Do you feel that you have to work hard to get women, or have had to work hard in the past to get your current level of success?

 

Or did things just seem to always work out in your favor without putting in much effort?

 

Can I answer for my SO? He's 5'7"...

 

He didn't 'work hard' in the sense that you are thinking of. No, he didn't ask out 300 girls a week. He was physically active and took martial arts for several years and was good at it, but not to appeal to women, he just enjoyed it. He doesn't bodybuild. He isn't fashion-conscious.

 

He did 'work hard' in a lot of other ways. He put in immense effort into his university and career. When he did find a girl he liked, he put in immense effort into courting her. I think his success rate was about 50%, since he wasn't interested in a R with that many girls. I know he had a long-term crush that didn't succeed in the past. And when in a R, he puts in a lot of effort, yes.

 

But see, here's the thing. Not everyone is averse to putting in effort. Some people, regardless of their height, just believe in working towards what they want in life. That's incredibly attractive. I would take my SO over any 6' guy (and my ex, whom I left, was 5'11", which is tall for an Asian - so no, it isn't just because I 'can't get tall guys').

 

I would be very surprised if a 6'5" man managed to breeze through life with an excellent career and LTR by putting in no effort. Even if there were women attracted solely to his height, any decent woman would be out pretty quick as soon as she realized he wasn't going to be putting effort into anything.

[Imajerk17]

Yes I mean struggle. It's more than just a problem.

 

 

 

As I said, I have looks, which CAN overcome my height IN SOME CASES. Therefore, I'll always find a girl that will be willing to sleep with me. However, a ridiculous amount of games is necessary to go further than that as a short guy (and courting doesn't work and, to be honest, is unethical in the US due to equal rights), while tall guys really don't need to put in any effort for these kinds of things.

 

However, being the resourceful and awesome guy that I am, I just started something with a cool, slightly above average looking girl (she's probably around a 6 in looks). But, again, I am more resourceful than 99% of men out there, which I have to be because of my height.

 

 

 

 

Again, as someone who is only 5'6", that hasn't been my experience at all. Even when I struggled when I was young I saw plenty of guys shorter than I am attract women who wanted relationships with these guys. There was nothing special about these guys' "looks" either.

 

What you young guys need to get is that "looks" aren't the main thing we as men have to offer women. It's just not what attracts women to us. Women are attracted far more to our energy.

 

Your last post makes me think you don't really get this. I have never described a woman that I have started dating as a "6". If I am not really attracted to her, then what's the point. I hope for both of your sakes that you aren't just "taking what you can get" aka settling because you feel you don't have a reasonable chance of getting with a woman you would be more attracted to.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Imajerk17

[KaliLove]

Yes I mean struggle. It's more than just a problem.

 

 

 

As I said, I have looks, which CAN overcome my height IN SOME CASES. Therefore, I'll always find a girl that will be willing to sleep with me. However, a ridiculous amount of games is necessary to go further than that as a short guy (and courting doesn't work and, to be honest, is unethical in the US due to equal rights), while tall guys really don't need to put in any effort for these kinds of things.

 

However, being the resourceful and awesome guy that I am, I just started something with a cool, slightly above average looking girl (she's probably around a 6 in looks). But, again, I am more resourceful than 99% of men out there, which I have to be because of my height.

 

So, instead of posting on this thread and discouraging other short guys by telling them how hard it is..why don't you post on this thread and give them advice on how to get girls? They don't seem to be willing to take advice from women or taller men..so why not share your secrets?