Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[Candy_Pants]

So you're saying that if SD was over 6 feet and above average looking, then he would struggle as much as he does now?

 

Doubt it.

 

Would he "struggle as much"? Probably not. But if those were the only factors that changed he would STILL struggle, and STILL make excuses, and STILL not progress in other ways.

 

But once again, he can't grow in height. He can, however, grow as a person. Which would make ANYONE more attractive.

[serial muse]

So, instead of posting on this thread and discouraging other short guys by telling them how hard it is..why don't you post on this thread and give them advice on how to get girls? They don't seem to be willing to take advice from women or taller men..so why not share your secrets?

 

Yes...I'd like to know what "resourceful" means in a society that apparently finds courtship "unethical".

[organizedchaos]

 

 

As I said, I have looks, which CAN overcome my height IN SOME CASES. Therefore, I'll always find a girl that will be willing to sleep with me. However, a ridiculous amount of games is necessary to go further than that as a short guy (and courting doesn't work and, to be honest, is unethical in the US due to equal rights), while tall guys really don't need to put in any effort for these kinds of things.

 

What are you talking about here?

 

Since when is courtship "unethical"? What does that mean?

 

And tall guys need to put in just as much effort in get women to either sleep with them or start a relationship with them.

 

Height is not the secret formula for success with women.

 

/end thread

[somedude81]

1. Yes, I did struggle badly with women.

 

2. Yes, I did have self-esteem issues. But then I've come to realize that everyone does to an extent.

 

3. Used to have to work hard. I had to push myself to get over my shyness, to become less reactive/intense (I used to take myself way too seriously), and to become a cooler, better person.

 

Are there any specific things you did that led to you getting more success?

 

How do you become cooler and better?

 

And yes, I know that pushing yourself to get over shyness is huge. I've done that for myself, but it's just the first step and doesn't lead to success, it just actually makes it possible to succeed.

[serial muse]

Since when is courtship "unethical"? What does that mean?

 

I suspect it means blah blah blah feminism is to blame for everything alwayscakes, but who knows, maybe there's more to it.

[somedude81]

So you're saying that if SD was over 6 feet and above average looking, then he would struggle as much as he does now?

 

Doubt it.

 

Would he "struggle as much"? Probably not. But if those were the only factors that changed he would STILL struggle, and STILL make excuses, and STILL not progress in other ways.

 

But once again, he can't grow in height. He can, however, grow as a person. Which would make ANYONE more attractive.

 

Ha!

 

If I was 6'2, right now I'd be married to a hot blonde with huge boobs. (Who is also intelligent, sweet and loyal, plus all those other things that make a woman a good wife.)

[Glinda.Good]

Yes I mean struggle. It's more than just a problem.

 

I guess, if you live in a tiny world and mostly on the Internets.

 

As I said, I have looks, which CAN overcome my height IN SOME CASES. Therefore, I'll always find a girl that will be willing to sleep with me. However, a ridiculous amount of games is necessary to go further than that as a short guy (and courting doesn't work and, to be honest, is unethical in the US due to equal rights), while tall guys really don't need to put in any effort for these kinds of things.

 

However, being the resourceful and awesome guy that I am, I just started something with a cool, slightly above average looking girl (she's probably around a 6 in looks). But, again, I am more resourceful than 99% of men out there, which I have to be because of my height.

 

Seriously? I feel bad for you. It must be really discouraging to need to use "GAMES" to attract anyone's interest. How does it hold up over time? Doesn't it seem childish to you?

 

Have you ever tried to have a relationship with a woman, or is it just about "finding a girl who is willing to sleep with you"?

 

Just in case you were willing to entertain other POV's, which would include those of people who have different styles of genitalia than you do - this thread and others are full of women who have short boyfriends and husbands, who are actually loved for who they are. Not because of their pubescent "game" stuff, or because they are trying extra hard 'cause they're not tall.

 

It's really true!

 

Maybe one day you could be such a man. Man. As in, self actualized adult male person who is fine just being exactly who he is.

 

No more games could be great!

[Glinda.Good]

 

But once again, he can't grow in height. He can, however, grow as a person. Which would make ANYONE more attractive.

 

THAT might actually involve "struggle."

[Bruce Leigh]

They don't seem to be willing to take advice from women or taller men..so why not share your secrets?

 

Maybe because he had to try so hard to figure them out himself and that it is different for every man, tall or short.

We all know what works for one person will not necessarily work for another.

If it was that simple everybody would be paired up already

[Glinda.Good]

Yes...I'd like to know what "resourceful" means in a society that apparently finds courtship "unethical".

 

I think the majority of us still enjoy courtship and as far as I know, it's still not illegal.

 

If I were a guy, I'd like courtship a lot more that STRUGGLING to "find a woman willing to sleep with me." Doesn't that sound bleak?

 

But, I'm just a delusional dame. I'm probably being hormonal.

[Candy_Pants]

Ha!

 

If I was 6'2, right now I'd be married to a hot blonde with huge boobs. (Who is also intelligent, sweet and loyal, plus all those other things that make a woman a good wife.)

 

:Thumbs up: Sure.

[somedude81]

 

The majority of men who are taller than 5'8 have to "work hard to get women" too. More often than not people are "average". "Average" is normal.

Except the fact that as someone who is 5'6, I'm below average. So yes, while guys who are taller may have to work hard to get women, short guys have to work much harder.

 

 

You fixate on the fact that, say, 20% of the male population has these tremendous natural advantages (dark, handsome, or taller than 6') that you don't. Meanwhile, another 40% of the population is doing fine. And instead of doing the leg work it takes to be part of that other 40%, you sit around b*tching about how unfair it is that you aren't in that first 20%.

I'm not talking about the top 20%. I'm talking about the "top" 70%. The guys who are at least average.

 

And no, I'm not just sitting around complaining.

[Glinda.Good]

I suspect it means blah blah blah feminism is to blame for everything alwayscakes, but who knows, maybe there's more to it.

 

Maybe it speaks more to the poster's concept of "courtship," which might involve roofies and "consensual" sex with unconscious women, for all we know.

 

Anyway, even if he's short, courtship is still grand.

[Glinda.Good]

short guys have to work much harder.

And no, I'm not just sitting around complaining.

 

So, what kind of hard work are you doing to become the kind of man who has a lot to offer a woman, even though you're short?

[somedude81]

Maybe it speaks more to the poster's concept of "courtship," which might involve roofies and "consensual" sex with unconscious women, for all we know.

 

Anyway, even if he's short, courtship is still grand.

 

That's slander.

[somedude81]

So, what kind of hard work are you doing to become the kind of man who has a lot to offer a woman, even though you're short?

 

I've already said that I'm not going to spell out what I'm doing just to be judged by people like you.

[Glinda.Good]

That's slander.

 

Are you serious, or joking? Seriously. I don't get it.

 

I've already said that I'm not going to spell out what I'm doing just to be judged by people like you.

 

Okay. I thought when people posted stuff on boards like this, though, they were actively soliciting input, advice and opinions from other people.

 

Anyway, good to know you are putting in the extra hard work you feel you need to do to compensate for your height. IMO, though, a short guy does NOT need to "work" extra hard to get a girlfriend. I think everybody has to be the best they can be, and offer the most, in order to be worthy of a good relationship. Even then it's a huge gift and not one to be taken for granted.

[iris219]

Ha!

 

If I was 6'2, right now I'd be married to a hot blonde with huge boobs. (Who is also intelligent, sweet and loyal, plus all those other things that make a woman a good wife.)

 

Yeah, because EVERY man over 6'2" is married to a hot buxom blonde.

 

Who knows? Maybe you're right, SD. I believe that if I was several inches shorter (even if I was less attractive), I might not have struggled to date as much as I have.

[somedude81]

Yeah, because EVERY man over 6'2" is married to a hot buxom blonde.

 

Who knows? Maybe you're right, SD. I believe that if I was several inches shorter (even if I was less attractive), I might not have struggled to date as much as I have.

I sure would be married.

 

As for you, I really doubt you being tall effected anything. For you what held you back the most was living in a small town.

[MidwestUSA]

I sure would be married.

 

 

You have absolutely no way of knowing that. Stick with one person for any length of time, and your core problems will bubble to the surface. Add in the fights about lack of money, the length of time it's taking you to finish school, the works. A woman expects certain things out of a thirty something year old that you just don't have. Like security and dreams for the future.

 

 

You think your struggles are bad alone? Another person in the mix isn't going to 'fix' you, despite what you believe.

[somedude81]

You have absolutely no way of knowing that. Stick with one person for any length of time, and your core problems will bubble to the surface. Add in the fights about lack of money, the length of time it's taking you to finish school, the works. A woman expects certain things out of a thirty something year old that you just don't have. Like security and dreams for the future.

 

 

You think your struggles are bad alone? Another person in the mix isn't going to 'fix' you, despite what you believe.

 

If I was 6'2, I'd also be done with school now as well. Yes I'm serious.

 

A very big reason why I've done poorly in school for so long is because of my depression, a huge problem in staying motivated and giving up very early.

 

If I had a woman in my life, I wouldn't have had any of those issues and I would have graduated and be working in my career by now.

 

BTW, how the hell did you come to the conclusion that I don't have any dreams for the future?

[hasaquestion]

Ha!

 

If I was 6'2, right now I'd be married to a hot blonde with huge boobs. (Who is also intelligent, sweet and loyal, plus all those other things that make a woman a good wife.)

 

....And this is why I don't understand you.

 

You'd be 6'2"... and 32, and without a job and still in college, and lacking in social skills/friends, have a lack of confidence/pride/balls/personal identity, and still look the same otherwise, be out of shape, without any concrete dreams and aspirations, etc. Not in charge in any area. You would be the same person on almost every level.

 

You say you want "a relationship" with someone who is "relationship material". Yet, your dream is to be 6'2" and have nothing else going for you (i.e. be a guy who gets laid some more)?

 

If you want a relationship, why don't you aspire to be relationship material?

[hasaquestion]

If I was 6'2, I'd also be done with school now as well. Yes I'm serious.

 

A very big reason why I've done poorly in school for so long is because of my depression, a huge problem in staying motivated and giving up very early.

 

If I had a woman in my life, I wouldn't have had any of those issues and I would have graduated and be working in my career by now.

 

BTW, how the hell did you come to the conclusion that I don't have any dreams for the future?

 

Excuses are like noses, everyone has them.

 

I'm confused. Do the receptors on your nerve endings lock up chemically when someone with high estrogen levels isn't physically touching you? Science would be interested in studying you if that's the case.

 

You might have dreams for the future but people are "show not tell" and you're still in college. Where's the PROOF?

[somedude81]

....And this is why I don't understand you.

 

You'd be 6'2"... and 32, and without a job and still in college, and lacking in social skills/friends, have a lack of confidence/pride/balls/personal identity, and still look the same otherwise, be out of shape, without any concrete dreams and aspirations, etc. Not in charge in any area. You would be the same person on almost every level.

 

You say you want "a relationship" with someone who is "relationship material". Yet, your dream is to be 6'2" and have nothing else going for you (i.e. be a guy who gets laid some more)?

 

If you want a relationship, why don't you aspire to be relationship material?

See the post to MidwestUSA for that answer.

Excuses are like noses, everyone has them.

 

 

You might have dreams for the future but people are "show not tell" and you're still in college. Where's the PROOF?

Really? Why would I need to have proof that I have dreams?

[hasaquestion]

See the post to MidwestUSA for that answer.

 

Really? Why would I need to have proof that I have dreams?

 

Because that's, you know... how the world works?

 

I can walk around and tell everyone I trade high-risk assets for Goldman Sachs, or that I own a wildebeest. Doesn't make it true.

 

Say you had to put together a resume of accomplishments and tangible events to illustrate what your future will be. What would you put on it?