Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[PJKino]

I would just like to say that the whole trajectory of this thread is just a black hole of ridiculousness.

 

I have much empathy and compassion for ALL people who feel trapped by things beyond their control, having been one myself.

 

If a person is feeling this way, it is a good thing for them to be able to talk about it and get some support and encouragement, so that it does not consume them. And so that they will persevere IN SPITE of it, and keep reaching towards what they want in spite of being short, or whatever.

 

This thread does the opposite. It is providing a self pity party for short men who want to band together in cosigning the false notion that everything would be great in life, if only they were not short.

 

I truly know, even though I don't go there much, that whatever is bothering a person is the whole world to them sometimes. Whether it's height, acne, weight, etc.

 

But, the truth is, it is NOT the whole world. People should not assist one another in wallowing in that kind of bs.

 

I see that it does not help any of you to think about other people, but I have a good friend who got bone cancer at the age of 15 and went through teenage angst years as an amputee. Imagine. Happily married ad successful today, and an avid traveller. I also used to work with a woman who had CP and was wheelchair bound. Brilliant person, but so much wanted to be a mother … and Jerry, who was walking home from playing basketball at the age of 12 when was shot by a random shooter. Almost died, wheelchair bound, terrible painful body, and he is LIVING HIS LIFE. He is probably more grateful than most of us because he had come so close to losing it.

 

They did NOT let the thoughts of "what if," or "If only ______, then ______" rule their lives. They worked with what they had, and continue to.

 

 

And ALL people who are truly LIVING their lives ARE making something of what they have.

 

And there are plenty of short people doing it too.

 

Wouldn't it be good to be one of them?

 

Im not bothered by my height its the women who are..and while yes there are "sucess stories" for short men the whole idea that i should have to work extra harder and prove myself to women because of how much a negative simply being a little short is quite frankly is off putting to me and why i dont even bother.

 

If a women shows initial interest in me one day then cool until then im not gonna break my back and try to win a women over because of my height shes either attracted to me intially or shes not

[somedude81]

What the ... Your and her parent(s) met after you've been together for a few months?

 

Yeah, why not?

 

My parents are the same age as her parents, and my mom lived five minutes away from her parents.

[Imajerk17]

Because I would have done absolutely everything I possibly could to keep the relationship going.

 

One day she just decided that she was done, and that was it. She never talked about anything in the relationship or me that was bothering her. It was literally us having a nice conversation and she changes to the subject to shes breaking up with me.

 

 

She ruined my happiness, my hopes and my dreams.

 

I know I have to let go of the anger I have for her, but that is so much easier said then done. We were only together for six months, and it's coming across seven months that we've been broken up, and I still absolutely hate her.

 

I hate to break it to you somedude, but most people suffer not just one breakup, but several breakups, over the course of their lifetimes. Some of them (unlike yours) involve years of being together, divorce, infidelity, and children. What you went through might have hurt you badly, but in the end, you do need to see that it wasn't a cruel tragedy, it's normal.

Edited June 28, 2014 by Imajerk17

[R3d]

This is my main problem now:

 

I would also say that in general, high school for some reason makes me feel insecure. Seeing these really tall white dudes that already look like handsome men socializing, flirting, having a good ****ing time and then occasionally seeing those dudes with a crush of mine, makes me tear up on the inside and sort of sends the message to me that being social and flirting with girls is only "reserved" for them. And then the whole line of thinking of, "Yeah, there's no way in hell she's picking me over him," enters my head, and I do honestly feel like I don't stand a chance against them.

 

And I have always been like this, especially when it came to talking to a girl I like. Even in seventh grade, I remember that feeling when I saw a taller white dude with my crush and thought, "Yeah he's better suited for her." In some instances, that was enough to make me give up. Though, I never really started actually attacking this issue until a few months ago.

See, you people can keep pacifying me and telling me I do stand a chance and even give examples of people with my race and/or height being successful with women, but at this point it's more a visual problem. When I am at school, I see that for the most part, the only guys flirting are tall and white and look like men. There was one exception, but even he is 2.5 inches taller than me (old buddy of mine). So for these past few years, the implication that I have been perceiving is that flirting with even somewhat attractive girls is reserved for tall white dudes, and the rest of us plebeians shouldn't even try. But it's more height than race. It just doesn't feel right. I feel like in a way, I am not "allowed" to because of my short stature and different race.

[R3d]

Well I am primarily attracted to white girls, not trying to be racist - I can't control who I am physically attracted to. Again, not implying that I don't find any other race attractive. There are some Asian girls that I think are quite hot. But the few girls that I have talked to in my life, I hate to say this, were all white. Then again, I haven't talked to that many girls in my life, not more than 10.

 

I'll leave it at that because I don't want to hijack this thread and get the moderators pissed.

 

You can check out my thread, "How I found Loveshack and why I am here today," thread in Personal Rants and Confessions for more details on the racial issue.

 

But what I would like out of this thread is some help with getting over that in-the-moment visual insecurity. Like when I am just walking around in school or want to talk to this girl, I start doubting myself and seeing how only tall white dudes that look like men are usually the only ones flirting with girls who are even semi-attractive, and how a lot of other guys in my limited experience would say that they don't have a chance and they were more physically attractive than me, I feel like I am not "allowed" to and afraid they will put me back in "my place". Kind of like that feeling when you are the only plebeian walking into a 5-star restaurant filled with patricians, so you almost feel like you're being "rude" in a way and don't belong there.

 

Then you'll tell me to not date the most attractive girls. My response is this:

 

I get that, don't think I do, and honestly I would take a girl who I am semi-attracted to physically who I connect with much more on a personal level over a girl I am getting hard over within 5 seconds of seeing her but have no chemistry with any day. As I said in another thread, sometimes it's not even the actual looks that attract me as much as maybe her "style" (the way she speaks, acts, moves). But I do want to be at least somewhat physically attracted to a girl for me to see her as a potential date. And like I also said in another thread, I'd say the majority of girls I had long-term crushes on weren't thought to be "hot" or anything special physically by others as per my friends' opinions. I remember that time when I thought this girls was super hot and was getting turned on by seeing her across the lunch room, and two of my friends thought she was ugly and this other dude said that she's not ugly, but she's not hot either.

 

Nevertheless, I still think she [whoever I am aiming to pursue at the time] is hot and it's still intimidating and my insecurities become exposed again. I start doubting myself again and then start having those thoughts like, "I wouldn't have a chance," or, "I am not good-looking enough," or even, "She's going to be disgusted if she finds out that I like her," as I described in great detail above.

Edited June 29, 2014 by R3d

[somedude81]

Have you considered focusing on non-white girls? White girls tend to be the most judgmental of height, looks, and race.

 

Seriously, what is wrong with women of color?

 

I'm tired of all these threads where men of every race complain that they can't get white girls.

[thefooloftheyear]

Seriously, what is wrong with women of color?

 

I'm tired of all these threads where men of every race complain that they can't get white girls.

 

I suppose they must all be dykes or have resigned themselves to a vow of lifetime celibacy...

 

Whew...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

Have you considered focusing on non-white girls? White girls tend to be the most judgmental of height, looks, and race.

 

 

I know...Ill bet there are third world countries where faced with the likelihood of a lifetime of abject poverty and despair, there are women ready to give a shorter guy a shot...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

LOL you really have no idea what you're talking about when you bring up third world countries. Very ignorant.

 

But, for the record, I was talking about non-white girls in the US.

 

My insurance agent, who is a perpetual crybaby when it comes to women and dating decided to pay an agency to pluck some poor impoverished girl off the street of some village in the Phillipines..She is here now and he married her...What were her options??

 

Another guy I do business with, a disgusting guy in every respect, is now trying to see how to get a poor Ukranian native to do the same thing...And so far he has found some takers...

 

Ignorant? Dont ebe so sure..

 

What is ignorant is to think run of the mill white women are only falling for 6 figure Adonis' with a Kennedy trust fund...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

Well, you know two guys so you are clearly an expert. My apologies.

 

There are PLENTY of girls in these countries that are not desperate for men and have other options. Many are intelligent, educated women that simply have more traditional values and are less materialistic than women here.

 

But if you want to keep believing that all of these countries are backwater sh*tholes where everybody is poor and dying to marry an American, have at it. But, just to let you know, the status of Americans has gone WAY down over the past few years, for good reason.

 

But you're the expert. What do I know?

 

 

 

White women tend to be taller and are, thus, more picky about height overall. Also, most young white women refuse to date Asians. How do I know? Because I've befriended and dated enough to get their true opinions on the matter.

 

Sure, not ALL white women feel that way, but many do. Sorry, that's how it is. The poster that I was responding to would have much better luck with indian girls.

 

I'm not saying it's impossible, but it will be difficult.

 

I know its hard, but try not to be a jackass...That fact that you get so defensive about it does speak volumes, though...hmmm.

 

Nowhere did I ever say I was an expert.....But if you think that guys dont go outside of the US to find naive women with little to no options, then you have your head in the sand..

 

Taller? Than a Filipino or Korean? I guess..But then again, a guy my size is still taller than the majority of women in this country...And of the remainder that are taller, only a fraction of those women have a height hangup..And technically all one needs to do is find one woman......out of millions...The odds really arent that bad...

 

If you prefer someone of a particular race, fine, but advising someone to go outside of a race ,( because white women are just "too picky"), to meet a woman just seems so ridiculous..Its just not that hard.

 

TFY

[Revolver]

White women are seen as the most attractive(heck the closer a woman of color is to looking like a white female, the more she is desired) so they can afford to be the most picky

[KaliLove]

Well just push through the insecurity and approach anyway then. Make it a goal to approach 1 girl you like every day and see what happens.

 

Before you give him advice like this, please bear in mind that he is 16 years old, and high school girls can be particularly cruel.

 

R3, you are far too focused on getting girls. SO many boys at your age have not had a girlfriend yet..it's not a big deal at all. Better to concentrate more on making friends for now than to obsess about finding a girlfriend. Having female friends can be really helpful in clearing up a lot of your insecurities.

 

Also..seriously..get off this website. It's making you even more insecure and bitter and upset than you already are. This is not helping you at all.

[thefooloftheyear]

This is basically a lack of response, which proves my point. But you have fun dating American women, getting divorced, and losing your children in that divorce.

 

All you, bro.

 

 

 

At 5'6, we are about the average height of white women. Korean women also tend to be on the taller side of Asian women.

 

That poster can approach whoever he wants. As I said, he will have a more difficult time with white women his age because they are the most superficial and entitled. Sorry if you don't believe this, but that's how it is. You're an old guy, right? So how would you know?

 

I guess because I am in my 40's, that qualifies me to not know what you know about women.??... Maybe becuase ive lived longer than you have and experienced way more than you have(Im sure with women as well as life) that might make me more qualified...but I guess not...

 

Hey, Im not the one complaining...you guys are...ive never been without attention from women, yet never cold approached a woman in my entire life..I guess I missed the memo that women are so hard to impress..And I am the one with the shytty personality as well.....Go figure.....

 

And no way is the average height of a woman 5'6"...Maybe with heels...Id say its more like 5'3" or 5'4"...

 

Good Luck and happy hunting lil' grasshopper...

 

TFY

Edited June 29, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[R3d]

Seriously, what is wrong with women of color?

 

I'm tired of all these threads where men of every race complain that they can't get white girls.

A lot of people have racial preferences man. We can't control who we are physically attracted to, which is why I don't blame girls for liking taller guys. Also, I did say that I am not stuck in dating ony white girls, but I do prefer them in terms of physical attraction, though I would still ask out a girl of a different race if I by chance bumped into her and we were to hit it off nicely. This is what you call a preference, and not a deal breaker.

Before you give him advice like this, please bear in mind that he is 16 years old, and high school girls can be particularly cruel.

Which is why they say to stick to "social circle game" in high school.

 

R3, you are far too focused on getting girls. SO many boys at your age have not had a girlfriend yet..it's not a big deal at all. Better to concentrate more on making friends for now than to obsess about finding a girlfriend. Having female friends can be really helpful in clearing up a lot of your insecurities.

 

Well woman , that's because I WANT one. And next school year, that's exactly my plan. See this post for more details: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/475084-being-indian-descent-really-detrimental-even-if-you-americanized-7.html#post5765580

 

But I am curious, how would having female friends clear up my insecurities?

Also..seriously..get off this website. It's making you even more insecure and bitter and upset than you already are. This is not helping you at all.

 

Not necessarily. It was just the internet in general where I found out how detrimental being short and Indian is and the fact that I have no game, not this specific message board. And now I am here BECAUSE I am trying one last time to overcome my insecurities on my own (with your people's assistance) before I request therapy.

 

I am also insecure over my little status. As I have said before, girls hold their status and what people think of their boyfriend in high regard, and just the sole chastity she would receive from her friends and family for dating a short, Indian guy with no status would be enough for some girls to not date me. Also the fact that it's socially acceptable for a girl to upgrade to a better boyfriend doesn't help my insecurity. That essentially means that she can drop me like a rock any time some tall white dude approaches her.

 

And again, I have no game...though at least I have control over this.

 

And topaMAXX, the average height for white women is 5'5 as per Wikipedia.

[somedude81]

A lot of people have racial preferences man. We can't control who we are physically attracted to, which is why I don't blame girls for liking taller guys. Also, I did say that I am not stuck in dating ony white girls, but I do prefer them in terms of physical attraction, though I would still ask out a girl of a different race if I by chance bumped into her and we were to hit it off nicely. This is what you call a preference, and not a deal breaker.

 

It just seems very weird when your racial preference doesn't include your own race.

 

Why do you want to even bother with competing against the white guys for the white girls?

 

Are you a reverse racist? Meaning you hate your own race?

[R3d]

I don't know what to tell you man. One of the physical traits that I have always adored ever since I was attracted to the opposite sex (approximately 3.5 years ago) was fair skin. It was a huge bummer for me to find out this year that white girls typically don't go out with Indian guys, on top of the huge disadvantage I already have with my short stature. That said, Jesse from Simple Pickup seems to do great and he's Indian and 5'7, so I haven't lost all hope (if I had, I wouldn't bother posting here). Then again, he has tons of game. And I mean, obviously these women had to go out with these Indian men to be able to post about their experiences on the internet, so it is possible.

 

Mainly it's my lack of game that's killing me, and a significant factor in my horrid game is that I just can't seem to get over this inferiority complex I have internalized. Remember that analogy about feeling like the only plebeian in a 5-star restaurant filled with patricians. At this point I am repeating myself, so I will just redirect you to my earlier post where I explain this in more detail: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/343363-consolidated-discussion-man-s-woman-s-height-search-relationships-115.html#post5777152

[R3d]

Also, for more information on my insecurity over race, visit this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/482251-how-i-found-loveshack-why-i-am-here-today

[somedude81]

I don't know what to tell you man. One of the physical traits that I have always adored ever since I was attracted to the opposite sex (approximately 3.5 years ago) was fair skin. It was a huge bummer for me to find out this year that white girls typically don't go out with Indian guys, on top of the huge disadvantage I already have with my short stature. That said, Jesse from Simple Pickup seems to do great and he's Indian and 5'7, so I haven't lost all hope (if I had, I wouldn't bother posting here). Then again, he has tons of game. And I mean, obviously these women had to go out with these Indian men to be able to post about their experiences on the internet, so it is possible.

 

Mainly it's my lack of game that's killing me, and a significant factor in my horrid game is that I just can't seem to get over this inferiority complex I have internalized. Remember that analogy about feeling like the only plebeian in a 5-star restaurant filled with patricians. At this point I am repeating myself, so I will just redirect you to my earlier post where I explain this in more detail: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/343363-consolidated-discussion-man-s-woman-s-height-search-relationships-115.html#post5777152

Tough luck dude. I'm not going to give you any encouragement if you're just going to focus on white girls.

 

I seriously think you're better going after girls your own race. But if you don't want them, then that's your problem.

[KaliLove]

Jesus kid, get some therapy! Your self hatred is not ok.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes and the poster I was responding to and I are both 5'6. 5'5 and 5'6 are pretty much the same thing lol.

 

I stand corrected(I guess?)...I dunno...Maybe because I weigh 210, just about EVERY woman seems very small to me...*shrug*

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

You don't understand how younger women act because you don't date them.

 

 

Just because I dont date them, shouldnt dismiss me from having insight..Just like the very attractive (early/mid 20's?) teller at the bank, who decided to scrawl her telephone number on my deposit receipt, despite the fact that other than little friendly greetings when I came and went-really never said two words to her...certainly wasnt ever trying to get her number..I could list others, but I dont need to bother.

 

Just understand...I have a lot of experience...Ive been there...Howie Long and Dan Marino no longer play in the NFL....Does that mean they dont know about the game??

 

 

I'm not the one complaining. I just understand the true nature of women. You should understand this since you're older.

 

Aren't you divorced? Apparently, your ex was difficult to impress, eh?

 

Nope...And she isnt particularly hard to impress....Maybe I am???

 

 

 

That's the average of ALL women. White women are easily around our height on average.

 

 

 

Don't need luck, but thanks anyway!

 

 

Look, man...I dont want to argue with you....I agree with a lot of what you are saying on some of your posts...

 

But when you start talking about giving up on an entire race of people because they are "too hard to impress".....well, you gotta admit that is kinda silly...Just take a look at the couples that are together in a place like a shopping mall or someplace where couples congregate..

 

What you will see are just normal people...The way some of you guys are talking, its as if every white woman has a Brad Pitt on their arm..Its nuts..

 

TFY

[ltjg45]

Can someone tell me what is the point of this thread again?

 

Because what I am reading at this point is making my head hurt.

 

Even as a 27-year-old loner, I find this thread to be completely worthless now.

[R3d]

My self-hatred began in mid February. Reading this is what triggered it:

I am a full grown male, almost 19 years old, and I'm only 5'7. I hate it. All my friends are about 6 feet tall, I see all these people around on the street who are all much taller than I am.

 

There are dozens of papers and research that shows that taller men are more attractive to women, more successful, more confident etc. I have been told numerous times by women that "If you were half a foot taller than we could date". Why? Why do I need to be taller? Why can't you just accept me for my height?

 

I see all these tall guys that just seem to love life, and I know it isn't because they are tall, it's that because they're tall they don't need to think about this ****. It isn't constantly on their mind. I walk down the street and every person that I walk by is a reminder of how short I am. Even normal sized or petite woman, both in which are smaller than me, prefer guys that are 6 feet tall. Normal sized guys are larger than me. Do you understand what it's like to be a man run in a world dominated by the patriarch, where masculinity reigns supreme, and be less "manly" than the AVERAGE man? It's hopelessness.

 

The worst part about it is that people assume, before even knowing me, that because I'm short I have "napoleon complex". First of all, that doesn't exist! It's not a real thing! Whenever I meet knew people they already have preconceived ideas of what I'm like just because I'm short. And because of this, anything that I do will not be because I'm actually a guy who just likes to talk to people, it must be because I need to prove myself as a short man! I need to work 3 times as hard to prove myself as a guy who is taller than me, even if he's less physically attractive.

 

That brings me to the final thing; I'm NOT ugly. I'm actually better looking than most other men. Girls have told me "if you were half a foot taller you'd be a ten". Do you know what that feels like? It's like God played a practical joke on me; 'Hey let's give this guy a nice face so that he can HOPE that women will be attracted to him but make him short so he always gets knocked down! HA!' I have literally tried dozens of times; I engage in conversation, I listen, Im not afraid to give my opinion on things but EVERY SINGLE TIME IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING! I know some of you will say not to base this around women but what is an animal that can't attract a mate? As much as you might hate to admit it happiness is directly related to sexual attraction and I don't have any because I'm short. I've placed as a finalist in a New York's Composition Competition ( didn't win but still!). I write music because it was the only thing in the world that made me happy, but now I'm starting to lose interest in even that because it doesn't shake the fact that women don't care how talented you are if you're short.

 

My friends understand my pain and they tried to help me when we went to a party one time, they basically made me out to be a great guy, and then when I was walking down the hall to the bathroom I heard two girls talking about me who were in there. You know what one of them said? "He's cute but he's kinda short, I'm not gonna hook up with him". I went home immediately and just lied on my bed looking at the ceiling for hours, that was when I knew there's isn't any hope.

 

I thought that once high school ended this **** would end. It didn't. People are just as if not MORE biased against short men in the real world than they were in high school.

 

My growth plates are closed, Im not growing anymore. I have fantasies about being six feet tall and it makes me happy for a moment until I realize that it's not going to happen.

 

I know I'm going to get a lot of people who are going to flame me for being a whiner. Please try to understand where I'm coming from. I've only been with 2 girls in my life. I have had crushes on so many girls and getting rejected every time because of this thing that I have no control over and can't fix just makes me really sad. It makes me want to die just so I don't have to think about this **** anymore.

 

Source: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130810193023AAiEbnf

 

I just wanted to share this with you because reading this is what really got to me in mid-February. I read this and I thought, "****, I am ****ed." And as I described in my other thread where I explain my history, why I am here today:

 

Now this February and March were very dark months for me, full of frustration about what to do with my crush and not get nervous, but also the really bad self-loathing began in February. February was the worst for me and days went by very slowly as all I did was either self-loathe, or plan what I am going to do with my crush which I always executed horribly and I just couldn't stop getting jittery in front of her. Hence, so many times, I would chicken out, leaving me even more frustrated and another reason to chastise myself, calling myself a" "dumbass" and how "that was so retarded". I had lost focus in school. A's became B's, which is why a lot of my final grades are 1-2 points lower now than they should be, despite me still having a mix of A's and B's. One of my teachers said I was "on the moon".

 

During this time, I joined eNotalone, in mid-February and seeked consolation there. There was one other forum, but I tended to not post there as much because people are pretty critical and harsh there. I finally did get talking to that girl, but all that happened between us was occasional small talk. The only thing that temporarily took my mind off of this (my frustrations and self-hatred) was tennis and League of Legends. Actually, this was controlling my life so much, I wasn't even playing LoL more than like once or twice a week.

 

I was very isolated from everyone and always in my head, couldn't pay attention in class, even went as far as to not play League, and even lost sleep occasionally over this. I'd say it was a case of mild depression in February as we did notice occasional less desire to eat or sleep as well, and just general disconnection from life. Both the frustrations with my self due to lack of action-taking with my crush and my self-loathing due to my height and race. I was pretty much bashing and mentally abusing myself the majority of my time spent awake.

 

Source: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/482251-how-i-found-loveshack-why-i-am-here-today

 

Now watching Cupid Shmupid on YouTube picking up all these girls successfully at 5'2.125 and the same with Jesse on Simple Pickup (who is Indian and 5'7) did help to undo some of the insecurity over my height, but not really because he has tons of game and so the consensus is basically that you need really tight game if you're short. And game is very difficult to learn. As someone said once, "Being a short guy is like dating on hard mode." The problem I have with this statement is as if dating isn't already hard enough. Dating is a weak point for me. If anything, I needed somewhat of an advantage the negate the fact that I suck at the dating game. So it was and still is very demoralizing to find out that actually, I am severely disadvantaged times two. Realizing the fact that unless I am at least close to a dating game professional, I will not stand a chance, was heart-breaking. Then again, at least proficiency in game is something I can control but the problem is my insecurity and self-hatred is a significant detriment to my game.

 

And then there's my race...

 

somedude81 man, do you not approve of interracial dating? I am just trying to understand why you're so opposed to the fact that I am primarily physically attracted to white girls. What fuels my insecurity over race is whenever I receive chastisement (or see other Indian dudes receiving chastisement) online for having a taste in white women, in addition to finding out that white women in general find Indian men unattractive. It makes me think, "Man if I wasn't Indian, I wouldn't have to deal with this ****." I don't understand why people chastise us over it. You can't control who you're physically attracted to, which is why I do not chastise women for finding short or Indian men unattractive, because it's not their fault. Neither is it mine to be primarily attracted to white women.

 

KaliLove, do you really think I need therapy at this point? I have been talking to my parents and I have asked my dad to look into it. However, I told my mom what the issue was, very vaguely. I told her that I am suffering from low self-esteem, self-hatred, and insecurity, but I didn't tell her any of the elements to it (height and race primarily). Based on what I told her, she doesn't think I need it. I am just afraid to tell her specifically because I am anticipating that she's going to belittle how I am feeling and then there's also that parental bias where you think your kids are so great and all. And I really don't want to tell her about my racial insecurity, because she's probably going to be pissed about how I want to date white girls and a lot of fighting may ensue and I may even run the risk of losing access to the internet. I don't think my parents are particularly against interracial dating, but I don't think a pretty scene will ensue after I tell her about this.

 

If this last attempt at getting over my self-hatred is unsuccessful (meaning if it wears off in a while like it always has), I will officially request therapy. Right now it's under light discussion at home, but I'll tell them that I will try one last time to resolve this myself (with your people's assistance).

Edited June 30, 2014 by R3d

[Always Pondering]

My self-hatred began in mid February. Reading this is what triggered it:

 

 

Source: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130810193023AAiEbnf

 

I just wanted to share this with you because reading this is what really got to me in mid-February. I read this and I thought, "****, I am ****ed." And as I described in my other thread where I explain my history, why I am here today:

 

Source: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/482251-how-i-found-loveshack-why-i-am-here-today

 

Now watching Cupid Shmupid on YouTube picking up all these girls successfully at 5'2.125 and the same with Jesse on Simple Pickup (who is Indian and 5'7) did help to undo some of the insecurity over my height, but not really because he has tons of game and so the consensus is basically that you need really tight game if you're short. And game is very difficult to learn. As someone said once, "Being a short guy is like dating on hard mode." The problem I have with this statement is as if dating isn't already hard enough. Dating is a weak point for me. If anything, I needed somewhat of an advantage the negate the fact that I suck at the dating game. So it was and still is very demoralizing to find out that actually, I am severely disadvantaged times two. Realizing the fact that unless I am at least close to a dating game professional, I will not stand a chance, was heart-breaking. Then again, at least proficiency in game is something I can control but the problem is my insecurity and self-hatred is a significant detriment to my game.

 

If this last attempt at getting over my self-hatred is unsuccessful (meaning if it wears off in a while like it always has), I will officially request therapy. Right now it's under light discussion at home, but I'll tell them that I will try one last time to resolve this myself (with your people's assistance).

 

I personally believe that you're relying too much on the internet, PUAs, and media to determine your life, happiness, securities, and decisions. Don't get me wrong, the internet is an enormous source of information (whether biased or not, correct or incorrect) but I feel that you're letting it dictate your whole life.

 

I have never seen anyone so obsessed with tall, white men. After the countless things people have said to you, the various sources on the internet that you have relied on for help, and the fact you're tunnel-visioned on your height/race as a "negative" versus all the other positive traits you have, I believe you should find therapy.

 

You're incredibly young and in youth, you will discover many things in your life. I was probably shorter than you were at your age and I was no where near this focused on women. I'd give examples but I believe I already have in one of your other threads somewhere and it most likely would not change anything at this point.

 

Your outlook on things could change very rapidly and again, you're very young. This is not the end of the world.

[clia]

My self-hatred began in mid February. Reading this is what triggered it:

 

Source: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130810193023AAiEbnf

 

Your self hatred is based on what one random, anonymous guy on the Internet said? You don't even know if that guy is real. I strongly suggest you actually go out and experience life before you decide that being short has created so many disadvantages for you.

 

And game is very difficult to learn. As someone said once, "Being a short guy is like dating on hard mode." The problem I have with this statement is as if dating isn't already hard enough. Dating is a weak point for me. If anything, I needed somewhat of an advantage the negate the fact that I suck at the dating game.

 

No offense, but of course you suck at dating -- you are 16 years old! Dating takes practice. And no, you don't have to be some kind of dating guru to have success with women. Do you go out of the house? Do you see all of the short men out there who are with women and wearing wedding rings? Do you honestly believe that they all have mad game?

 

You are going to find yourself in a much, much worse position if you continue this path of self hatred. It's not going to make you feel better about yourself. If anything you are going to feel worse, which will affect your dating. You are creating your own future with all this negativity.