Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[Ninjainpajamas]

I used to wear a 5 1/2 in heels.

 

So you basically walk on two average sized mans penises?

[braindamage]

So you basically walk on two average sized mans penises?

 

Visit a doctor - seriously. It shouldn't look like that.

[Priv]

So you basically walk on two average sized mans penises?

 

Thanks! You finally make me realize why I find those shamelessly large heels incredibly hot. It is an sm thing (it actually is but that is not the point ).

[R3d]

Ive never approached a woman in my life

 

Hey man, I saw this post from a few months ago and this really struck me as surprising.

 

Is it really possible to be successful with women without ever making an approach? How did you do it?

 

Just curious.

[OwMyEyeball]

This tall crap is really just a thing online. I've never met a decent woman in person who refused to date a guy under a certain height. Never. There might be plenty of women online who say they require a guy to be 6' tall to date him, but they do not represent the majority of women. Sure, a lot of women may be attracted to tall guys, but it is not the end all of physical attraction. I have seen plenty of short guys with beautiful women.

 

 

 

There is no harm in getting to know people. You shouldn't treat people like they are of no use to you just because they might not find you attractive. I treat everyone the same, and I really don't care if a particular woman would find me attractive or not.

 

 

 

All true! Just the other day I saw a short guy with a woman that was attractive enough that I had to consciously make myself not stare at her. This guy couldn't have been taller than 5'6 and she was taller than he was.

Hush now. We don't want to present evidence contrary to the "height makes right" theorists. There's much greater comfort in wallowing over life issues we can't change than finding and tackling those we can.

[RedRobin]

I think a better discussion might revolve around relative torso sizes, since that is one thing that actually has some merit in the bedroom.

 

 

When I'm with a guy sexually, I don't want his face to line up with my chest and I don't want my face to line up with his chest. I want my face to line up with his face so we can kiss, which means we need to have similar length torsos.

 

 

I've met 6'5" guys who have super long legs and basically are similar height when sitting across me. I've met guys similar to my height (5' 6") who also look me straight in the eye when sitting next to me. It's all about torso length.

 

 

If *I* had a preference, it would be a guy not all that much taller than me, because I want to do other active things with him.... running, biking, swimming, etc... and if we are not that different in height, then we can do those things together.

 

 

My current boyfriend is maybe an inch taller than me, but has quite broad shoulders, muscular but not too huge... I fit nicely in his arms since I'm petite. My waist is 24 1/2". He can fit his hands around my waist. His penis diameter is bigger around than my wrist (scary but true). Soooo.... height in pure numbers means nothing to me.

Edited September 12, 2014 by RedRobin

[pat-potts]

This tall crap is really just a thing online. I've never met a decent woman in person who refused to date a guy under a certain height. Never.

 

As a 40 yr old guy who agrees with you in this respect, old skool, i find online attitudes "spilling" over into the real world.

 

Women find it easier to "rail" on a guys height online and are often encouraged to do so and when it's spilled into the "real world", the same level of acceptance is often found.

 

I don't like fat ugly women but you can bet i would dragged over hot coals by my testicles if i said that online or in public, women who say something similar about short guys are often championed, applauded.

 

Just one of many double standards that exist.

[Phoe]

My only issue with taller women is most of 'em have some enormously big, snowshoe type feet...

 

I like me some small and dainty feet on my wimmenz....:laugh:

 

TFY

 

Nooo lol.

 

People comment too often on how small my feet are, yet I'm considered tall.

[taiko]

It's all about puzzle pieces.. it makes for a better 69

Not just 69.In many sexual acts men enter a woman from below and thrust up and in. If she is too tall then he can't get face to face easily. Secondary those who are not models tend to avoid heels, why men react to women in heels is another question.

[Candy_Pants]

So you basically walk on two average sized mans penises?

I stomp on such penises.

 

http://www.shoesrx.com/womenssizes-1.aspx

[Phoe]

I don't like fat ugly women but you can bet i would dragged over hot coals by my testicles if i said that online or in public, women who say something similar about short guys are often championed, applauded.

 

I personally have never seen any woman be applauded for ragging on a man's physical attributes.

[thefooloftheyear]

I think a better discussion might revolve around relative torso sizes, since that is one thing that actually has some merit in the bedroom.

 

 

When I'm with a guy sexually, I don't want his face to line up with my chest and I don't want my face to line up with his chest. I want my face to line up with his face so we can kiss, which means we need to have similar length torsos.

 

 

I've met 6'5" guys who have super long legs and basically are similar height when sitting across me. I've met guys similar to my height (5' 6") who also look me straight in the eye when sitting next to me. It's all about torso length.

 

 

If *I* had a preference, it would be a guy not all that much taller than me, because I want to do other active things with him.... running, biking, swimming, etc... and if we are not that different in height, then we can do those things together.

 

 

My current boyfriend is maybe an inch taller than me, but has quite broad shoulders, muscular but not too huge... I fit nicely in his arms since I'm petite. My waist is 24 1/2". He can fit his hands around my waist. His penis diameter is bigger around than my wrist (scary but true). Soooo.... height in pure numbers means nothing to me.

 

Translation...

 

Its OK if a guy is short so long as he has a big dick....

 

 

(kiddin', of course)...

 

 

TFY

[Salvatore85]

Hey man, I saw this post from a few months ago and this really struck me as surprising.

 

Is it really possible to be successful with women without ever making an approach? How did you do it?

 

Just curious.

 

I've never approached. I've gotten several numbers and have been pretty successful with the opposite sex. I'm pretty short as well at 5'6" but then again I get complimented on my looks quite a bit. I don't particularly care for it though as I'm a bit awkward and have social anxiety.

[R3d]

Holy moly. Didn't know that height was such an integral part of a man's ability to date.

 

I am short, and I am Indian. Oh heavans. Its the double whammy. If I were to listen to the male posters on this board, I should have had no hope of ever getting a date. Should have just stuck to making my delicious samosas.

 

 

It's easier to blame your failure on things you have no control over, than it is to improve yourself through hard work and dedication.

 

*clicks on your post history and sees you are 5'9*

 

But you're not short and Indian. You're only Indian.

 

I have the real doube whammy. 5'3.5 and Indian.

 

Just saying.

Edited September 15, 2014 by R3d

[Candy_Pants]

*clicks on your post history and sees you are 5'9*

 

But you're not short and Indian. You're only Indian.

 

I have the real doube whammy. 5'3.5 and Indian.

 

Just saying.

 

You are also 16. Right? Some men continue to grow till their mid 20's. Don't stress it.

[R3d]

You are also 16. Right? Some men continue to grow till their mid 20's. Don't stress it.

 

I don't know man. I am not anticipating anything more than 5'5-5'6. Even that I am worried if I will hit or not because I haven't grown in a few months and my dad is 5'7 and my mom is 5'0.

[somedude81]

I don't know man. I am not anticipating anything more than 5'5-5'6. Even that I am worried if I will hit or not because I haven't grown in a few months and my dad is 5'7 and my mom is 5'0.

 

Technically most men don't stop growing until they are ~18. Don't count yourself out just yet.

 

Although, I did stop growing at 5'6 at around 15-16. My dad is 5'10 so I was pretty shocked.

[R3d]

Here's the thing:

 

What I have mainly been worried about is - look: I may be a "great guy" and all, but no one is going to know that during the initial attraction phase. The thing is that during the initial attraction and courtship phase, looks is mostly what you see. Yeah, you get a taste for their personality, but you don't really get an idea for who the person is until you start dating them. So me being a "great guy", even if that's true, is not going to mean much if women aren't even going to give me a chance to see that in me due to instant disqualification during the initial attraction and courtship phase as a result of the following.

 

Basically it comes down to this. How deep is my dating pool with the following conditions:

 

1. Being short (legit short).

2. Being Indian.

(New)3. Me saving virginity until marriage. I know this is new so there is still potential that this may change in the future. But let's say - just to be on the safe side. Because I am really liking the idea of saving my virginity until marriage. And I know this is something under my control, but they say you shouldn't compromise your values for anyone.

 

How many women will instantly disqualify me based on those things?

 

Essentially, I am worried that my dating pool is now dangerously shallow and we haven't even gotten to mutual compatibility, chemistry, and interest yet.

 

But I am only worried. You tell me. Is my dating pool (going to be) dangerously shallow with these conditions?

 

Again, not using this as an excuse to not take action in life and not try. I am trying. And I will keep trying, no matter how many failures. I have already asked out like 3 girls since the start of this school year. And I am trying to be sociable, learning how to flirt, and push out of my comfort zone, etc, and doing all those things people have suggested.

 

But it's still a fear.

 

I am not complaining; I am just worried.

Edited September 16, 2014 by R3d

[iiiii]

 

How many women will instantly disqualify me based on those things?

 

Essentially, I am worried that my dating pool is now dangerously shallow and we haven't even gotten to mutual compatibility, chemistry, and interest yet.

 

Lots will.

 

But here's the thing, you don't need every girl to find you attractive. You only need to find one.

[R3d]

Finding someone attractive is only one part of the equation.

 

How can I afford to select on the basis of chemistry and compatibility like everyone else if at the basic level, I barely have any potential to get dates?

 

This mindset of there being at least one out there for me is going to make me try to hang onto the first girl that shows interest, because due to the number of women willing to date me being extremely low, I will try to justify that she's the one because she is all I can get (if even that happens).

 

This is the problem. You'll tell me that this is a bad idea, blah blah blah. You're right. But what choice will I have other than to take what I can get if so few women will date me?

 

Basically, it comes down to this:

 

How many women will be fine with my conditions?

With how many of those women will there be mutual interest? (Already seeing a problem here)

How many of THOSE women will I end up having chemistry and compatibility with?

 

Hoe many of those women will still not date me because of some miscellaneous dealbreaker?

How many of those women will STILL not date me due to me not being good arm-candy? Kid_Charlamagne

 

The non-shaded part of the Venn Diagram just keeps getting smaller and smaller...

 

That's what it feels like. I am just going to have to take whatever I get, if I can even get THAT.

 

You say I am only 16, but I am not magically going to stop being short and Indian one day. Maybe a slim chance with the height, but...

 

That's what I have been trying to tell you people.

 

Insecurity sucks and makes you do what I am doing here. The problem is it's not just feeling like insecurity. It's feeling like reality. That this is the reality of my situation. That I am forced to hang on to whoever I can have and that's my only hope of ever landing a relationship.

 

I don't know if this is actually the reality; I am just explaining what it FEELS like.

 

And I am not just pitying myself here. I know there are people out there with much worse than me. And I wonder how they do it too since they have the same problem, probably to an even much more severe degree for some (like if you're in a wheelchair for example).

[Candy_Pants]

You only need one woman at a time to want to date you, who cares about the other ones who don't want to date you??

 

Focus on what you can change (your attitude).

[R3d]

Stop making excuses.

Well like I said a couple posts earlier, I am not using this as an excuse to not try and give up. I will keep trying and working on it...because it's all I can do!

 

But man, citing really short, but really popular guys (through being a movie star, comedian, etc.) isn't convincing because the reason they have so many women over them is due to ridiculously high social status that is granted through choosing this kind of career (being a movie star, comedian, musician, celebrity, etc.)

 

ETA: actually I am not as insecure over my height as much as the race. The race is what's killing me. I am convinced that short guys can get girls. What I am still unsure about is the whole Indian thing. In my opinion, that's what's taking up I'd say at least 75% of my insecurity now. The stereotypes about us are horrendous. The media treats our image like ****. Everyone has all these judgments. My insecurity over my race is actually more generalized and not just for dating. Whenever I am asked about my ethnicity, I feel uneasy and respond hesitantly. Luckily, that almost never happens (because in school, everyone already knows). It's also the reason, I sometimes feel a little insecure over my name. Being Indian, man. It's not the skin color (and my skin color is actually similar to Spanish peoples'); it's the stereotypes and judgments. Then being short, when added as a cherry on top, feels like a big deal.

 

So what I am trying to say is that being short in and of itself doesn't seem so bad, but when coupled with being Indian, then it does. If I was to turn white tomorrow (in this current life, magically), I wouldn't feel three-fourths of the amount of insecurity I am feeling right now.

 

And again, don't cite Aziz Ansari because his results are skewed as a result of obtaining ridiculously high social status.

Edited September 16, 2014 by R3d

[R3d]

Also a contradiction: as I have said before, I am Americanized. But one thing that strikes me as a contradiction is on one end people say that you have to be completely Americanized to have an ounce of chance with women in America and on the other end people say that self-loathing is ugly and will kill your chances. Yes, I am self-loathing, but here's the thing. Some people consider simply being Americanized or generally not being attracted to your own race as self-loathing. So in part, even if I didn't have this cloud of insecurity over my race, I would still be "self-loathing" in some people's books just based on the mere facts of me being Americanized and in general not being physically attracted to my own race.

 

And it's honestly quite difficult to not self-loathe when:

 

1. Your beliefs, ideals, principles, etc are Americanized.

2. The race you're primarily attracted to in general finds you repulsive. Actually, I heard that it's not even just white women anymore that are avoiding Indian men like the plague. Women in general (even Indian women) in circles circles won't go anywhere near an Indian man, from what I hear. That's even worse, if that's true.

3. The stereotypes and the way the media depicts Indian men and boys is deplorable.

 

You tell me - what do I do? It's not even about dating entirely anymore, thought that is a critical reason of my insecurity over being Indian.

 

I know I am probably thread-jacking at this point, so if need be, I'll start another thread in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-being.

Edited September 16, 2014 by R3d

[Cristo]

I'm also a short guy at 5'6. Personally, the only time I've ever done even remotely bad with women was when I was in an isolated location and severely depressed (and even then, I got some girls....just not the ones I wanted lol).

 

I don't think height matters all that much in real life. I've dated girls taller than me. I've also dated girls that never dated a guy under 6 feet (until me). I've dated girls when I was completely the opposite of their type (or what they think their type is).

 

The only place that height really matters is online. If you're a shy, short guy and can't talk to women in person, then you might struggle.

[Cristo]

R3d, why don't you just do an arranged marriage with a chick from India? I would definitely do that if I were in your shoes. Indian girls are HOT!