Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[NJ123]

The same reason why a lot of men are so shallow about a woman's breast size or hair color and hold something against them that is out of their control.

 

It is what it is and not every person is so biased against height or breast size or those things.

 

Absolutely different situations. You can change your breast size & hair color. You can't change your height.

[evanescentworld]

Yes, but it doesn't stop men being shallow about them.

Busty blondes are supposed to be dumb, right?

 

Wrong. Yet that's the label blondes have inherited, particularly if they're busty. And it's an image perpetuated on celluloid.

 

We've lived with sexual stereotyping for centuries.

I hate to say this, but - get over it.

The more of a chip on your shoulder you carry, the more it will transmit.

[CarrieT]

Absolutely different situations. You can change your breast size & hair color. You can't change your height.

 

Of course you can.

 

But isn't it just as ludicrous to go through the extremes of surgery to change one's self?

[preraph]

Why do a lot women hold something against you for something out of your control?

 

Right back at ya. A woman who isn't attracted to short guys can't help she's not attracted to short guys. It's not like she made a decision "OK, I'm not going to date short guys." Her only decision is "I'm not going to date someone I wouldn't be attracted to enough to sleep with if it goes that way."

 

So are you advocating that women just go ahead and agree to have sex with men they are not attracted to as a charity?

[NJ123]

what are women so shallow about men's heights?

because if the shallow end is all they can manage, then height might be an important factor.

 

I'm under 5'0, and frankly, I think we'd both look ludicrous if I were dating someone shorter than I.

 

Well, but what is your personal preference of height on a man? Would you be willing to date a guy that's 5'3"-5'4" or would you want someone that's like 6-7 inches taller than you minimum?

[BlueIris]

Absolutely different situations. You can change your breast size & hair color. You can't change your height.

 

You can't change your breast size without invasive surgery. And there are certain hair color changes that destroy hair. I wouldn't count those as realistic changes.

[evanescentworld]

Well, but what is your personal preference of height on a man? Would you be willing to date a guy that's 5'3"-5'4" or would you want someone that's like 6-7 inches taller than you minimum?

 

Date one? I'm married to one.

 

My ex-H was 6'5".

 

next question?

[OwMyEyeball]

But it's probably the most shallow thing to base someone on due to having absolutely no control over it. It's not something you can change. You can't just wake up one day & say I'm going to change my height & become 6 foot 2 today when I was 5 foot 7 yesterday.

Exactly!

 

It's like what will happen when I die? Even if I was only buried a foot down most women don't even have the depth to dig that far to discover my inner beauty.

 

Why do so many women have such a strong preference for the living? Can they not see behind my rotting corpse the wonderful life I had lived and all the good deeds I had accomplished? Did they even bother to read the obituary or were they too busy texting LIVING men about all their life problems while I lay there silently, ready to listen to ALL their woes for an everlasting eternity?

 

Persecution Complex at work yet again

[NJ123]

Right back at ya. A woman who isn't attracted to short guys can't help she's not attracted to short guys. It's not like she made a decision "OK, I'm not going to date short guys." Her only decision is "I'm not going to date someone I wouldn't be attracted to enough to sleep with if it goes that way."

 

So are you advocating that women just go ahead and agree to have sex with men they are not attracted to as a charity?

 

But what I'm getting at here what if the guy hypothetically has great looking facial aesthetics, fit body, has a great career, & great personality. Why is height so important in that situation? It's just shallow if you ask me due to not having any control over it at all. You can change your hair, breasts, physical appearance in terms of how fat/skinny/fit you are. But height is what you have no control over.

[WomenWubber]

Yeah, I know. I'm just curious because I constantly hear women say they want someone tall. And even if some of those women would give the short guy a date, their personal preference would still be a taller guy. I'm expecting some responses to be something like "a taller guy makes women feel more secure & safe".

 

Hm. That would make sense.

 

Absolutely different situations. You can change your breast size & hair color. You can't change your height.

 

To be fair, breast implants only look good in clothes imo. That's unless they already had big boobs before surgery, because in this case you can't really tell if they're natural or not.

[NJ123]

Of course you can.

 

But isn't it just as ludicrous to go through the extremes of surgery to change one's self?

 

Well hey, tons of women do it. Tons of women get breast implants, and change their hair color/length & whatever else. I don't get why people here keep giving example of things you can actually change with low risk. For height I think there is some type of surgery to get it done, but it's extremely rare for anyone to get it due to the extreme risks of the surgery.

[xxoo]

Sure, it's shallow. Attraction often is.

 

Do we question why men are attracted to hourglass figures, long hair, and beautiful faces? Those are shallow, too.

 

Women are often drawn to height, wide shoulders, and a strong jaw. All luck of genetics.

[evanescentworld]

Yeah, I know. I'm just curious because I constantly hear women say they want someone tall. And even if some of those women would give the short guy a date, their personal preference would still be a taller guy. I'm expecting some responses to be something like "a taller guy makes women feel more secure & safe".

I feel a 1000 times safer with my H now, than I ever did with my ex. He might have 'looked' imposing, but he was a wet wuss with no spine.

 

My H now, OTOH, used to be a bodyguard in the army.

Yup, you read that right.

A Military bodyguard.

 

Maybe it's not women's attitudes you should be seeking to clarify.

Maybe it's your own complex.

[Brooke02]

Well, but what is your personal preference of height on a man? Would you be willing to date a guy that's 5'3"-5'4" or would you want someone that's like 6-7 inches taller than you minimum?

 

5'3-5'4 is shorter than me. No way.

.

Minimum, 5'11

[NJ123]

Date one? I'm married to one.

 

My ex-H was 6'5".

 

next question?

 

Exactly my point. You still prefer really tall guys even though your only 5'0".

[evanescentworld]

Well hey, tons of women do it. Tons of women get breast implants, and change their hair color/length & whatever else. I don't get why people here keep giving example of things you can actually change with low risk. For height I think there is some type of surgery to get it done, but it's extremely rare for anyone to get it due to the extreme risks of the surgery.

 

As I said, you may not be able to change your height, but I don't think that's actually your problem....

 

Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't - you're right.

[littleblackheart]

But what I'm getting at here what if the guy hypothetically has great looking facial aesthetics, fit body, has a great career, & great personality. Why is height so important in that situation? It's just shallow if you ask me due to not having any control over it at all. You can change your hair, breasts, physical appearance in terms of how fat/skinny/fit you are. But height is what you have no control over.

 

My friend's ex husband, who is 5'6, doesn't seem to have the problem you describe: he has a lovely personality, is very handsome, has a great job and is never short of female attention (mostly very attractive girls).

[NJ123]

5'3-5'4 is shorter than me. No way.

.

Minimum, 5'11

 

lol exactly my point again. I still barely heard anyone here even given reasons why except for coming up with things that you can actually change about yourself.

[ThaWholigan]

I am tall, yet most of the guys I know who've done well with women have incidentally been pretty short . Doesn't seem like women are all that disenchanted by a man of short stature.

[NJ123]

My friend's ex husband, who is 5'6, doesn't seem to have the problem you describe: he has a lovely personality, is very handsome, has a great job and is never short of female attention (mostly very attractive girls).

 

Well that's why I put in the thread topic title "a lot of women" but not all. But a huge % of women prefer a tall guy over a short one.

[most_distant_galaxy]

I tend to notice taller men first, but if a shorter man is handsome I notice him also.

[Quiet Storm]

My guess is that the attraction is kind of like how men are attracted to youth or waist/hip ratio in women- biological in nature, designed to draw us towards the most optimal mate.

 

In this day and age, with guns and less need for physical confrontations or physical labor, tall men don't really make us safer or provide us with more resources. But before all that, bigger & taller men may have been viewed as better protectors/hunters/providers. Physical ability was important in those days. Even in slave days, bigger & taller men were sought & "bred" for their height/size because they were viewed as more productive.

 

So I believe this may have something to do with it, in addition to subconsciously seeking a mate that is likely to produce taller/bigger sons. If you are a small woman, there could be some kind of biological diversity thing happening where the subconscious though is short woman + tall guy = a greater chance for an average/tall son. If a short woman procreates with a short man, the child will likely be short. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with short guys or having short sons, I'm just throwing out some thoughts on why this attraction is true for many women.

 

A lot of our tendencies for attraction have not been updated for modern times. Men can still have kids with older women, but this logic may not change their primal feelings of attraction. And women no longer need protection or men to hunt for them, but this intellectual knowledge doesn't always change those deeper, more primal feelings of attraction.

[evanescentworld]

Exactly my point. You still prefer really tall guys even though your only 5'0".

 

I really don't give a diddly-squat about height.

 

My 'unreasonable' prejudice is regarding communication skills. (Unreasonable, because it seems trite and picky, but really isn't, taking al things into consideration.....)

I'm serious.

 

What about you - would you like to rest your head on your girlfriend's shoulder, as you walk along the street?

Edited November 6, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed inappropiate comment

[NJ123]

I am tall, yet most of the guys I know who've done well with women have incidentally been pretty short . Doesn't seem like women are all that disenchanted by a man of short stature.

 

Of course there's a lot of women that don't give a **** about height. But a lot do & I'm just trying to understanding the true reasoning behind it since it's something beyond one's control.

[BlueIris]

Well that's why I put in the thread topic title "a lot of women" but not all. But a huge % of women prefer a tall guy over a short one.

 

True. Just play the hand you're dealt. That's all any of us can do.

 

(Wait until you get old! I'm 54, and ya know, I just don't turn heads unless I drop something breakable. There are many unchangeable traits.)

Edited November 6, 2014 by BlueIris