Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[evanescentworld]

Classy....

 

Goodness, that's so....'yesterday'.......

[NJ123]

Well, which is is? It doesn't matter, or it shouldn't bother you (but of course it does)...?

of course it bothers you.

Why else would you begin a thread on accusing SOME women of being shallow, when all they're saying is they're not attracted to shorter guys (in exactly the same way you wouldn't date someone who isn't attracted to you)?

 

The more you insist, the more you expose yourself as a guy with a huge chip on his shoulder.

 

Still didn't answer my question, though, did you?

 

I guess you misunderstood me, It doesn't matter to ME in terms of whether I'd date a short woman or a taller woman. I'd have no problem being with a woman that's 5'10" or 5'0". So for me personally in terms of what I'd look for in a woman, height wouldn't matter to ME. But it does to a lot of people.

 

I don't have a chip on my shoulder, I just made the thread yesterday to find out why a lot of women prefer tall over short. And all the thread became was mostly insults & rants about stuff that wasn't even related to the height issue.

[NJ123]

Oh really? What about the girl with the big nose or the small eyes or the huge forehead or the big chin or the odd facial shape or the frizzy hair? What about her?

 

 

 

I didn't say anything about anyone being overweight. Why do you automatically assume that when I say unattractive I mean overweight? That seems pretty shallow. I'm talking about facial features that men find unattractive.

 

 

 

And they are expensive, and they don't work for everyone, and even when they do you can be left with huge scars on your face. So what about that poor women with the pock marked complexion? What is she supposed to do? It's not her fault she had such terrible acne. Would you date her?

 

 

 

Why? If it's something they can't change, then I don't see how it's any different than you not being able to change your height. Isn't that the crux of your argument? That it's shallow to not date someone over something they can't change? So explain to me how it is any different.

 

 

 

I see. So being shallow like this is okay; but if it's against a physical trait that you have, then it's not okay?

 

 

 

I was responding to your argument that it's shallow to rule someone out for something they can't change. It's no different.

 

You can get surgery to fix all those things. Why do some of you keep bringing up these same things for? If someone wants to fix their nose so bad, there's always surgery for it. Might be expensive, but it's possible. And I was just giving an example about overweight issue. Let's be real here, most guys would prefer someone that's not overweight. There was a thread on here not too long ago about this issue & most said they wouldn't date someone that was out of shape. But someone can fix that & start going to the gym to work on their weight to be more desirable.

 

And the deformity problem, that's being really extreme. I already said that 99.9% of the population does not look for someone with deformities as their first choice in a partner. That's just a fact. So I guess in that regard almost every single person on the planet is shallow I suppose? Height is much more minor of an issue than a deformity problem. It's just not in the same ballpark at all. So why you brought that up is beyond me.

[thefooloftheyear]

Again, why do you keep sending links to famous people? We all know that if your famous, famous guys/women can sleep with a different man/woman every single day if they wanted.

 

Yeah, but lets be honest....This isnt just about short guys..

 

Tom Brady wouldnt be with Giselle if he was stocking shelves at Home Depot..

 

Point is not only do the shorties benefit, but the tall guys do as well..

 

TFY

[xxoo]

You can get surgery to fix all those things.

 

I'm not convinced the "can't change it" argument matters, but no, you can't "fix" beady eyes, a five-head (bigger than a forehead ), or a very masculine jaw on a woman. Many famous women come to mind who have money and access to the best surgeons, but aren't beautiful.

 

Not every woman can be a great beauty. Not every man can be a Greek god. Most of us work with what we've got!

[thefooloftheyear]

People have choices....Certainly there are some things that I wont find attractive in some women....so who am I to criticise someone else if they think I am too short or whatever....

 

Its a big world out there...and there is an ass for every seat..

 

 

TFY

[Content]

That poster made it clear short men aren't physically appealing and need to compensate in personality to be attractive.

 

Who cares? I think she said she's a taller women so she probably had a lot of insecurities as well growing up and short men probably made her even more insecure so she probably harbors some resentment of short men.

 

But so what they'res a lot of damaged people loons etc on these sites you can't take it personally what some people say here.

[NJ123]

In that case - why DOES it bother you so much?

 

Because I automatically have probably less than half the options than a taller guy does just due to my height? But your right, I have to focus on the women that don't care, instead of worrying about the one's that do.

[preraph]

No one gets to pick from 100% of the population. To think you ought to be able to is just raw entitlement. None of the short guys I dated were rich or famous, but they were all visible locally for their accomplishments. They were all driven and they all had goals.

 

Attitude is everything. I had an issue that could have held me back, would have held back a lot of women. I was pretty in a "striking" way, as most would have described me. I wasn't blond and big boobs and didn't have an hourglass shape, but I had a pretty face and did a lot with getting creative with clothes and had very long legs. I was maybe a 7. For someone who had to have big boobs, I was a 4, I guess. I never let anything hold me back.

 

When I was 21, I had a breast tumor removed. I was already not big. Now I wasn't even matching and had a scar. Unlike all the whining I hear on here about short men and the guys who are afraid to talk to women, I never missed a beat or stopped to think I was ever going to let this hold me back. I already had a purpose, and it was clear. The night I got released from the hospital with my big bandage on, I went right out and did what I enjoyed best and saw a band. And then I hung out with the band afterward and made a new guy friend. I wasn't even embarrassed. I told him I was bandaged. I barely gave this boob issue another thought -- and since I didn't, nor did anyone else.

 

I was never going to be the "perfect hot girl." But I immersed myself in my music world where I belonged, lived and worked there, and went on to get to know and briefly date and/or hang out with a few of the ultimate "hot guys," one of whom is actually a "sir." I actually got to go out with my ultimate hot guy at the time, when I was in my late 30s even, the guy that at that moment I thought was the hottest thing on earth and whose CD I was wearing out. He was intrigued with me, the girl with the wonky boob, and even wrote a couple of songs about me. I was all attitude and focus and because it was good attitude and productive focus, everyone overlooked my bad parts. I think what I had to overcome was way more difficult than being a short guy. So you may excuse me if I have little pity for you. It's because that pity isn't going to do you any good. It's only going to hold you back.

 

A guy I know had polio as a child, wore braces the whole time growing up. As an adult, walks with a limp. He went on to become a local and then syndicated journalist, satirist, tv and move actor, and producer. I knew about his polio only because I had read about it. The whole time I knew him, he never once mentioned it. He never once mentioned his slightly off gait. He was past it. He didn't let it slow him down.

 

More of us are born with liabilities than you can tell by just looking at us. No one is truly born perfect and getting everything they want and everyone they want in the way they want. Everyone has their struggles.

 

The ones who thrive regardless stop using them as an excuse and soldier on staying focused on improving themselves, working toward their goals, and making themselves the best they can be and the person they want to be. They don't look to a girl who's way better looking than them to "give the appearance" of it.

[NJ123]

Yeah, but lets be honest....This isnt just about short guys..

 

Tom Brady wouldnt be with Giselle if he was stocking shelves at Home Depot..

 

Point is not only do the shorties benefit, but the tall guys do as well..

 

TFY

 

Yep, that's very true.

[xxoo]

Think of it this way....

 

Maybe the women who NEED tall are insecure and feel they need to prove their attractiveness with a tall man. Similarly, insecure older men NEED a younger woman.

 

And maybe not. But maybe you needn't get so worked up about the opinions and choices of someone who may very well be insecure as well. Surround yourself with people who build you up, not tear you down. This is middle school stuff.

[clia]

You can get surgery to fix all those things. Why do some of you keep bringing up these same things for? If someone wants to fix their nose so bad, there's always surgery for it. Might be expensive, but it's possible.

 

It's also both possible and expensive to get leg lengthening surgery.

 

I also didn't say that the woman necessarily wanted to get her nose fixed. I said she has a big nose, which renders her physically unattractive to a lot of men. It's not her fault she was born with a big nose. Would you date her, or does she have to scrape together thousands of dollars to get her nose fixed before you would even consider it?

 

I'm bringing this up because you seem to want to pick and choose when it's okay to be shallow. If a woman has a height preference, she's shallow and it's terrible. But if a man has a physical preference (again, relating to something the woman can't change without lots of money and surgery), then you seem to think it's okay to be shallow. It just seems really hypocritical.

 

And the deformity problem, that's being really extreme. I already said that 99.9% of the population does not look for someone with deformities as their first choice in a partner. That's just a fact. So I guess in that regard almost every single person on the planet is shallow I suppose? Height is much more minor of an issue than a deformity problem. It's just not in the same ballpark at all. So why you brought that up is beyond me.

 

Actually, I do think every person on the planet is shallow in some way or another, in that everyone has some physical preferences in what they are looking for in a partner. I don't think most people are actively seeking out people they find unattractive to date. And frankly, I don't think there is anything wrong with being shallow!

[NJ123]

No one gets to pick from 100% of the population. To think you ought to be able to is just raw entitlement. None of the short guys I dated were rich or famous, but they were all visible locally for their accomplishments. They were all driven and they all had goals.

 

Attitude is everything. I had an issue that could have held me back, would have held back a lot of women. I was pretty in a "striking" way, as most would have described me. I wasn't blond and big boobs and didn't have an hourglass shape, but I had a pretty face and did a lot with getting creative with clothes and had very long legs. I was maybe a 7. For someone who had to have big boobs, I was a 4, I guess. I never let anything hold me back.

 

When I was 21, I had a breast tumor removed. I was already not big. Now I wasn't even matching and had a scar. Unlike all the whining I hear on here about short men and the guys who are afraid to talk to women, I never missed a beat or stopped to think I was ever going to let this hold me back. I already had a purpose, and it was clear. The night I got released from the hospital with my big bandage on, I went right out and did what I enjoyed best and saw a band. And then I hung out with the band afterward and made a new guy friend. I wasn't even embarrassed. I told him I was bandaged. I barely gave this boob issue another thought -- and since I didn't, nor did anyone else.

 

I was never going to be the "perfect hot girl." But I immersed myself in my music world where I belonged, lived and worked there, and went on to get to know and briefly date and/or hang out with a few of the ultimate "hot guys," one of whom is actually a "sir." I actually got to go out with my ultimate hot guy at the time, when I was in my late 30s even, the guy that at that moment I thought was the hottest thing on earth and whose CD I was wearing out. He was intrigued with me, the girl with the wonky boob, and even wrote a couple of songs about me. I was all attitude and focus and because it was good attitude and productive focus, everyone overlooked my bad parts. I think what I had to overcome was way more difficult than being a short guy. So you may excuse me if I have little pity for you. It's because that pity isn't going to do you any good. It's only going to hold you back.

 

A guy I know had polio as a child, wore braces the whole time growing up. As an adult, walks with a limp. He went on to become a local and then syndicated journalist, satirist, tv and move actor, and producer. I knew about his polio only because I had read about it. The whole time I knew him, he never once mentioned it. He never once mentioned his slightly off gait. He was past it. He didn't let it slow him down.

 

More of us are born with liabilities than you can tell by just looking at us. No one is truly born perfect and getting everything they want and everyone they want in the way they want. Everyone has their struggles.

 

The ones who thrive regardless stop using them as an excuse and soldier on staying focused on improving themselves, working toward their goals, and making themselves the best they can be and the person they want to be. They don't look to a girl who's way better looking than them to "give the appearance" of it.

 

Why couldn't you just say all this before instead of posting what you did?

[AD1980]

Think of it this way....

 

Maybe the women who NEED tall are insecure and feel they need to prove their attractiveness with a tall man. Similarly, insecure older men NEED a younger woman.

 

And maybe not. But maybe you needn't get so worked up about the opinions and choices of someone who may very well be insecure as well. Surround yourself with people who build you up, not tear you down. This is middle school stuff.

 

My god if I were a tall dude on these forums my confidence would be sky high since I'm apparently such a prize that a women having me is a sign of how attractive she is.

[Anela]

You can get surgery to fix all those things. Why do some of you keep bringing up these same things for? If someone wants to fix their nose so bad, there's always surgery for it. Might be expensive, but it's possible. And I was just giving an example about overweight issue. Let's be real here, most guys would prefer someone that's not overweight. There was a thread on here not too long ago about this issue & most said they wouldn't date someone that was out of shape. But someone can fix that & start going to the gym to work on their weight to be more desirable.

 

Why should they be required to get surgery?

[preraph]

NJ, The only reason it even came to mind is because I was trying to think of something that could make you see that people have the capability to overcome all sorts of things, even if they can't change them and impress on you that dwelling on the thing you don't like about yourself is counterproductive. Get your momentum moving forward and your height will become far less of an issue.

[Anela]

Yeah, but lets be honest....This isnt just about short guys..

 

Tom Brady wouldnt be with Giselle if he was stocking shelves at Home Depot..

 

Point is not only do the shorties benefit, but the tall guys do as well..

 

TFY

 

What makes Giselle better than the rest of us? I think that could make them equally shallow, though, don't you?

[NJ123]

Why should they be required to get surgery?

 

I'm not saying they should, but they can if they choose to do so.

[xxoo]

My god if I were a tall dude on these forums my confidence would be sky high since I'm apparently such a prize that a women having me is a sign of how attractive she is.

 

Exercise the critical thinking skills. For some women, yes.

 

But another group of women doesn't view men as "prizes" and doesn't seek partners to boost their self esteem, because they are already confident.

 

If I were a tall guy (or a short guy), I'd want a woman from the latter group. And my height wouldn't seal the deal with a woman like that, and I'd know it!

Edited November 7, 2014 by xxoo

[preraph]

I've read some of that stuff before. It's also because whoever is the powerful one kind of controls things and that leaves the less powerful to kind of sneak around and finagle a way to get sex without getting themselves killed. Of course, rape was rampant back then. Women who got big tough guys had at least a chance of getting that guy to run off the others and protect them. But it's true they didn't have much say in it.

 

There was a thread about going back to the old days or something where that came up before.

[OwMyEyeball]

Interesting

 

Makes me wonder if marriages were originally introduced as a mild form of social control - a way to keep the young men from nipping at the heels of the established order. Young, sexually dissatisfied and hormone pumped men make for fine ingredients to social upheaval. Better to institutionalize pair bonding than leave the hordes of young men to figure things out for themselves.

[Bruce Leigh]

Women make sure Humanity keeps growing and becoming better by selecting only the men who deserve to reproduce

Wow, just wow.

[SteveC80]

Being tall is pretty awesome as a man.I learned early on how strongly woman respond to it.Its like putting in a cheat code in a video game lol

[preraph]

But height alone isn't arousing. It's a nice add-on. Just any old tall guy doesn't do it for most women.

[NJ123]

Wish I could do a poll on here on the height issue. Would be curious to see the results.