Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[thefooloftheyear]

I think it's naive and unrealistic to say that height doesn't matter to most women. There is truth in stereotypes. Maybe height doesn't matter for every single woman, but it's true that many DO care and I don't see the point in sugar-coating it.

 

It's true that my girlfriends and I have been sifting thru online dating profiles and one girl has said, "Ooo, he's cute!" and then a few pics later she says, "Oh, but he looks like he might be short..."

 

The best way a short guy can overcome his height is to a adopt the attitude of a tall person. I am pretty tall for a girl (5'8) so for me, dating a guy who is 5'10 seems "short" to me, especially when I've dated guys who are 6'4.

 

However, I've dated two guys in the 5'9-5'10 range. Both of them never mentioned their height and didn't seem one bit bothered by it. In fact, they were both kind of douchey a-holes, lol...in that way girls love, of course!

 

Because they didn't care I hardly noticed it once I got to know them and it DEFINITELY didn't bother me one bit. They were hot!!!

 

What the hell is the attitude of a tall person?:laugh:

 

TFY

[AD1980]

What the hell is the attitude of a tall person?:laugh:

 

TFY

 

I really wouldnt put much stock into what she says considering her posts thankfully she doesnt speak for most women

[eastcoastgirl88]

Never claimed to speak for most women.

 

Then again, I think I'm HONEST. I don't see the point in sugar-coating things when we're all just trying to find realistic solutions to problems. I'd rather have someone be honest with me than try to make me feel better.

 

And by "the attitude of a tall person" I meant acting like your height is irrelevant. Tall guys don't go around going, "Hey, look how SWEET I am...I'm so tall!" They just live life and get on with it. Their height is a non-issue...unless, of course, they are an NBA player or something.

 

I think if more short guys were just chill about their height and kind of non-chalant, they might realize their shortness isn't as bad as they think it is.

 

I personally think a lot of shorter guys get wigged out by taller men, which causes them to act insecure...and the insecurity is what's turning off women more than the height.

[Sun Devil]

If I were able to get a girlfriend, I would have no issues with my height. So far, I have not meet one who would date someone who is only 5 feet tall. explain that

[thefooloftheyear]

If I were able to get a girlfriend, I would have no issues with my height. So far, I have not meet one who would date someone who is only 5 feet tall. explain that

 

 

You have no game...Its as simple as that...Its got nothing to do withyour height..Also..IIRC you are Asian? Are you looking for an Asian woman? I would think youd find many Asian women who you would tower over...

 

TFY

[samsungxoxo]

It's human nature. There is nothing you can do about it. It's built into the female instinct. The protector/ provider/ defender instinct.

Then you might explain how did I spent 4 years with my then 5'7 1/2 bf when I'm 5'7?

 

I dumped him because he was a liar and unwilling to commit further. In addition, I suspected him of cheating during our long distance relationship but I had no evidence. He has been in other past relationships too.

 

While he could have never lifted me and carried me across the way, which I wouldn't have like it either, we would play wrestling and he could still pin me down easily. Even if I were a man's same height or taller, somehow he still has an overwhelming strength.

 

As long as he's not a MBC basketball player of 7' nor 4' as those are extremes what's the problem of being inches shorter, taller or the same height?

[samsungxoxo]

I'm saying this now. No, I would never date an NBA David Richardson 7 footer. Too much.

Edited June 24, 2013 by samsungxoxo

[Cracker Jack]

Honestly, I haven't really talked about this in a good while, but I just feel like doing it now. I'm 5'8", and in the past, most of my insecurities were based around my lack of height. I'll admit, there are others who have it much tougher, but that never seemed to ease my obsession on the matter.

 

I was so keen on trying to understand why there were women who refused to date a guy under a certain height--then I eventually started to look myself in the mirror and ask myself: "why are you so focused on what certain women prefer in a man? What she's attracted to is what she's attracted to you. It has nothing to do with you."

 

Most will say, "well, it should matter, because you're at a disadvantage", but the more I think about it, the more I realize it isn't a disadvantage for me at all. However, if I fall back into the negative, height obsessed guy I was some yrs back, then yes, I will surely be at a disadvantage.

 

Main reason why is because I'd be going into situations with women expecting to fail because the height stuff would be fresh in my mind. I'd feel like I was walking on egg shells, whereas if I just approached as a man eager to learn and understand what makes this woman tick, there'd be so much more upside powering my approach.

 

At the end of the day, don't hate women for being attracted to taller guys. It'll do nothing but keep you in the depressed, bitter vortex that you're already in. No one should go through life feeling like they're not good enough.

 

It's been said repeatedly, but do the best you can to make yourself as attractive as possible (emotionally and physically), and talk to women without being outcome dependent. Unless the woman outright tells you you're too short, don't walk away assuming she rejected you because you weren't some 6'3" guy with a tan. There can be various reasons why she rejected you, but it's not up to you to care.

 

Another thing: stop comparing yourself to tall men. It took me a long-time to understand this, but you'll feel much better once you stop. I never compared myself until I started reading forums on the comparison between the two. This is a phase, but it's not a good one. You'll likely end up pulling your hair out if you continue to do this. In fact, compare yourself to no one. Focus on bringing out your potential.

 

What will happen is that there'll be women who will like you and be attracted to you; there'll be women who won't be attracted; some women will be enamored by you and want to have sex with you; some will prefer to be friends, which means she might have some cool single friends for you to meet.

 

There are so many different variables in meeting women, that you could never hope to accurately gauge by reading posts online or only hanging around your tall good looking friend who gets the girls. It is nowhere as black and white as some would like to believe. Go out with an open mind on things. Trust me on this one.

 

This post might not help many shorter guys here, mainly because of the strong deep rooted beliefs (I'm very familiar with this) but if I could help at least one change his way of thinking, I'd be happy.

[AD1980]

Then you might explain how did I spent 4 years with my then 5'7 1/2 bf when I'm 5'7?

 

 

While he could have never lifted me and carried me across the way, which I wouldn't have like it either, we would play wrestling and he could still pin me down easily. Even if I were a man's same height or taller, somehow he still has an overwhelming strength.

 

 

For some reason alot of women dont get this they associate height with strength and think if a guys anywhere near the same height hes not as storng as them ,apparently they dont know bond density and the differences between men and women when it comes to strngth.

[AD1980]

Honestly, I haven't really talked about this in a good while, but I just feel like doing it now. I'm 5'8", and in the past, most of my insecurities were based around my lack of height. I'll admit, there are others who have it much tougher, but that never seemed to ease my obsession on the matter.

 

I was so keen on trying to understand why there were women who refused to date a guy under a certain height--then I eventually started to look myself in the mirror and ask myself: "why are you so focused on what certain women prefer in a man? What she's attracted to is what she's attracted to you. It has nothing to do with you."

 

Most will say, "well, it should matter, because you're at a disadvantage", but the more I think about it, the more I realize it isn't a disadvantage for me at all. However, if I fall back into the negative, height obsessed guy I was some yrs back, then yes, I will surely be at a disadvantage.

 

Main reason why is because I'd be going into situations with women expecting to fail because the height stuff would be fresh in my mind. I'd feel like I was walking on egg shells, whereas if I just approached as a man eager to learn and understand what makes this woman tick, there'd be so much more upside powering my approach.

 

At the end of the day, don't hate women for being attracted to taller guys. It'll do nothing but keep you in the depressed, bitter vortex that you're already in. No one should go through life feeling like they're not good enough.

 

It's been said repeatedly, but do the best you can to make yourself as attractive as possible (emotionally and physically), and talk to women without being outcome dependent. Unless the woman outright tells you you're too short, don't walk away assuming she rejected you because you weren't some 6'3" guy with a tan. There can be various reasons why she rejected you, but it's not up to you to care.

 

Another thing: stop comparing yourself to tall men. It took me a long-time to understand this, but you'll feel much better once you stop. I never compared myself until I started reading forums on the comparison between the two. This is a phase, but it's not a good one. You'll likely end up pulling your hair out if you continue to do this. In fact, compare yourself to no one. Focus on bringing out your potential.

 

What will happen is that there'll be women who will like you and be attracted to you; there'll be women who won't be attracted; some women will be enamored by you and want to have sex with you; some will prefer to be friends, which means she might have some cool single friends for you to meet.

 

There are so many different variables in meeting women, that you could never hope to accurately gauge by reading posts online or only hanging around your tall good looking friend who gets the girls. It is nowhere as black and white as some would like to believe. Go out with an open mind on things. Trust me on this one.

 

This post might not help many shorter guys here, mainly because of the strong deep rooted beliefs (I'm very familiar with this) but if I could help at least one change his way of thinking, I'd be happy.

 

I never even thought about my height til i started going on these forums,places like pof and other sites are basically shrines to tall men and whne a questions s asked about height literally 90% of the women in those places say they would never date a guy under a certain height usually around 5'10

[Southern Cal Dude]

Facial aesthetics > height. If I was only 5'10"-5'11", I don't think my success would be much different.

[thefooloftheyear]

I never even thought about my height til i started going on these forums,places like pof and other sites are basically shrines to tall men and whne a questions s asked about height literally 90% of the women in those places say they would never date a guy under a certain height usually around 5'10

 

 

They say this when they have an ass like a Salvation Army sofa..

 

They are chasing rainbows...They wind up in the same boat with everyone else...Dont believe what you read...It IS the INTERNET..

 

TFY

[skydiveaddict]

Dont draw conclusions about me..You dont know anything about me..

 

True enough. My apologies

[samsungxoxo]

For some reason alot of women dont get this they associate height with strength and think if a guys anywhere near the same height hes not as storng as them ,apparently they dont know bond density and the differences between men and women when it comes to strngth.

Well I was also just 10 lbs. lighter too and at some point even we were weighing almost the same. I was then 19 years old and that was the first time I felt a guy's strength even if a girl seems heavy.

 

Even way before I met my bf, I went out on a date with a 5'3-5'4 guy that was lighter than me. I have to say I was naivee because I actually went to his house. When I told my then bf this he was like ''Don't mean to sound rude but what were you thinking, he could have possibly raped you'' to which I replied ''How, he's inches shorter and he was about 20 lbs lighter, I can fight him''. Then he was like ''It doesn't matter, he could have still use a knife or put you to sleep''.

 

Oops, that was my naivee, younger self.

Edited June 26, 2013 by samsungxoxo

[samsungxoxo]

I caught this post on a bodybuilding site and it's not just us with the height issue as many guys claimed.

Link: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=76492&page=3&highlight=tall&welcome=true

 

Short. I don't like any female taller than 5'6, I guess 5'7 would be my absolute limit. I dated a girl that was 5'7 though once, and I just couldn't do it, when she wore heels she was almost as tall as me and it made me feel really strange. I actually dumped her because of it.

The girl I'm with now is 5'4. Girls this height with big tits and a nice ass= win.

 

Base on this guy's description, he wouldn't date me just for being 1 inch taller than his requirement. I looked at his status and he's 6'1.

[feebee69]

This is my first post.

 

I am 171.5 cm, my ex of 17 years was 164 cm. Height was never an issue. It might have been for him, but never for me.

[Roadkill007]

I caught this post on a bodybuilding site and it's not just us with the height issue as many guys claimed.

Link: Would you rather have a short girl or a tall girl? - Page 3 - Bodybuilding.com Forums

 

 

 

Base on this guy's description, he wouldn't date me just for being 1 inch taller than his requirement. I looked at his status and he's 6'1.

 

 

 

 

LOL, still frequenting that forum I see . Getting a bit more jaded to all the insanity there?

 

 

 

On OP, people have different preferences. And sometimes people find out that those preferences aren't so rock solid as they thought they were. So, just keep trekking... their loss, eh?

[Phoe]

Ooh.. another height thread. I did not read all 29 pages but will input my opinion on this topic out in the open, like I usually do

 

I am 5'8... many men tell me I'm slightly too tall for them and they prefer shorter girls. Okay. Unfortunate but not the end of the world. Sometimes I wonder if I were 5'4 if I might have more luck getting dates but I stop myself because even just thinking that way is silly.

 

 

I've dated 5 guys. 3 of them were shorter than me. It was never a problem.

 

 

SHORT MEN - women will date you. Just keep trying.

[JuneJulySeptember]

OK. I would just like to point out for the last time how nonsensical this argument is and I will do it with an example of a story I was reading recently.

 

Nate Fujita Sentenced To Life In Prison For Murder Of Lauren Astley « CBS Boston

 

He was a big, handsome football player and I'm sure he was fawned over by many women. This d@uchbag brutalized this poor girl. Let me get that straight first off the bat. It's a sad story, and I do not condone touching a woman in any way.

 

Now, that's out of the way, what is more statistically likely?

 

a) That a strange threatening man will descend upon you when you're with your boyfriend/husband and that the size of your dog in the fight will make a difference?

 

Or

 

b) You happen to go out with/marry a man who is capable of doing the things described in the article to you and you have no way of fighting back?

 

Because I'll tell you one thing. The last woman I had it really bad for, she was about the same size as me, and if I tried anything on her (and I repeat, I would never condone touching a woman) she'd have more than a fighting chance.

 

I realize that the protector thing is one of those things that will never be erased and it just will always be. Fine. But in reality, when you are dating that big, hulking guy, statistically, you are endangering yourself even more.

 

If you like big, tall men, you like big and tall, hulking men. Fine. No complaints from me. But don't say it's because you feel protected. It's dumb.

Edited June 30, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

[tbf]

The protected feeling is more logical than linking one example of a large, sociopathic male, since your average larger male is biologically stronger than your average smaller male.

[todreaminblue]

feeling protected is a feeling ....so to me.....feeling protected comes from me knowing the guy i am with no matter what size he is......has a protective instinct.....courage in other words......even if he is scared wouldn't be normal not to be fearful, but the courage to stand up ......that is what makes em feel safe....my two long term relationships were with fighters both of them under 5 10......the fact is they didn't need to fight......they were confident in themselves....and weren't afraid to stand up...they never had to fight to protect me....i knew they could though.......and that protective instinct when looking for a partner isnt "dumb" but i do agree sometimes fighters dont discriminate against gender......an honorable protective man does not abuse women.......deb

[MrCastle]

feeling protected is a feeling ....so to me.....feeling protected comes from me knowing the guy i am with no matter what size he is......has a protective instinct.....courage in other words......even if he is scared wouldn't be normal not to be fearful, but the courage to stand up ......that is what makes em feel safe....my two long term relationships were with fighters both of them under 5 10......the fact is they didn't need to fight......they were confident in themselves....and weren't afraid to stand up...they never had to fight to protect me....i knew they could though.......and that protective instinct when looking for a partner isnt "dumb" but i do agree sometimes fighters dont discriminate against gender......an honorable protective man does not abuse women.......deb

 

Stop making sense.

[JuneJulySeptember]

.....an honorable protective man does not abuse women.......deb

 

Yet it happens every day. Multiple times every day. Most women who are attacked know their attackers.

 

How many instances are there of a woman who befell tragedy because her boyfriend was 5'6" 140 instead of 6'0" 220 lbs? I'd venture to guess close to none.

 

There are many instances of women who could have fought off their boyfriends if they were smaller men.

 

I'm not saying society will change. I'm just saying in modern society, the protector instinct is just plain false in reality.

Edited June 30, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

[tbf]

Protectiveness in men is unbelievably hot, as long as they're not domineering arses.

[todreaminblue]

Yet it happens every day. Multiple times every day. Most women who are attacked know their attackers.

 

How many instances are there of a woman who befell tragedy because her boyfriend was 5'6" 140 instead of 6'0" 220 lbs? I'd venture to guess close to none.

 

There are many instances of women who could have fought off their boyfriends if they were smaller men.

 

I'm not saying society will change. I'm just saying in modern society, the protector instinct is just plain false in reality.

 

 

on here i have said over and over i went out with a five footer......he studied martial arts.......extremely fast.......and i have seen my ex take out bikies......hulking bikies...he dropped them..knocked out see ya tomorrows.......he got hit in the head with half a brick true story, and kept fighting.......its not the size......he could get airborne.....and take down guys twice his height and weight........out of the guys i have been with he is and always was a fighter...from childhood.....he has mellowed......but he i would consider to have been the most dangerous guy i have gone out with......people would often laugh at him and his height.....ridicule him...until they seen him fight.......and realized that he was an enigma....never underestimate a guy because of his size..as a woman....if you had the choice between fighting bruce lee....or some six foot hulking footballer.......ill take the footballer every time........no chance against bruce lee....who if you were to glance at him and know nothing about him...you would think.....heres a wiry non descript looking man doesnt look like a killer.....huge mistake....you have to know what is in a guys heart before you determine their protective instinct.....getting to know someone before you date them and not determining their worth or instincts on their height or looks..huge mistake to judge a book by its cover.........deb