Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[JuneJulySeptember]

on here i have said over and over i went out with a five footer......he studied martial arts.......extremely fast.......and i have seen my ex take out bikies......hulking bikies...he dropped them..knocked out see ya tomorrows.......he got hit in the head with half a brick true story, and kept fighting.......its not the size......he could get airborne.....and take down guys twice his height and weight........out of the guys i have been with he is and always was a fighter...from childhood.....he has mellowed......but he i would consider to have been the most dangerous guy i have gone out with......people would often laugh at him and his height.....ridicule him...until they seen him fight.......and realized that he was an enigma....never underestimate a guy because of his size..as a woman....if you had the choice between fighting bruce lee....or some six foot hulking footballer.......ill take the footballer every time........no chance against bruce lee....who if you were to glance at him and know nothing about him...you would think.....heres a wiry non descript looking man doesnt look like a killer.....huge mistake....you have to know what is in a guys heart before you determine their protective instinct.....getting to know someone before you date them and not determining their worth or instincts on their height or looks..huge mistake to judge a book by its cover.........deb

 

Lol.

 

So, short guys need to be able to fight and take down bigger guys to be able to compensate for their lack of protectiveness?

 

You want your boyfriend to stand up to a strange guy in a bar and get a knife in his chest or a bullet in his brain?

 

Because that's how things work in modern times.

[TheGuard13]

If anything, you should feel less safe around taller men.

 

A lot of us are really clumsy.

[todreaminblue]

Lol.

 

So, short guys need to be able to fight and take down bigger guys to be able to compensate for their lack of protectiveness?

 

You want your boyfriend to stand up to a strange guy in a bar and get a knife in his chest or a bullet in his brain?

 

Because that's how things work in modern times.

 

 

dont know how you got that from my post......so totally untrue so dotn know why you are laughing......

 

 

i did post dont judge a book by its cover........you have to know a guys heart to know if he is protective.......as for me wanting a guy i am with to get a knife in his chest.......thats a joke......i have covered a completely unknown guy who was on the ground from being stomped on regardless if i got stomp[ed or not...didnt know him from adam and he was the aggressor..i myself am a protector....no matter if i am scared crapless...

 

 

 

i have jumped in the middle of fights to break them up....i hate fights...because i know what it feels like to be hit...i would jump into the middle of a fight if my guy was fighting...because i cant stand to watch someone being hit...i would not be able to just stand there....and yes i get hit........just because i want to feel safe and protected with a guy doesnt mean that i expect him to fight i just want aguy i can rely on if things got rough...i would much rather have a guy walk away from a fight......where ever [possible....knowing a guy has a protective instinct and feeling safe......doesnt mean i want soemone who fights at every opportunity...deb

[xxoo]

Protectiveness in men is unbelievably hot, as long as they're not domineering arses.

 

It is. SO hot

 

But guys, you don't have to be tall and muscular to be strong and protective. Money, status, and intelligence can protect better than brute strength.

 

What is necessary is the desire and the courage to protect, coupled with some capacity.

[todreaminblue]

It is. SO hot

 

But guys, you don't have to be tall and muscular to be strong and protective. Money, status, and intelligence can protect better than brute strength.

 

What is necessary is the desire and the courage to protect, coupled with some capacity.

 

i agree xxoo, but dont know about the money and status thing but agree with the intelligence factor......how does status and money protect?

 

 

 

martial artists who have been trained correctly dont go around proving they are the best fighters by fighting all the time......they are taught discipline restraint, and control and strategy a true confidence in their abilities...they are calm in crisis not hot headed and overly aggressive.......i think its more about that inner strength that shows a true protective instinct coupled with intelligence as you posted and strategy...they are taught to walk away first and avoiding having to fight until no choice is given...a respect a fighter who chooses not to fight...deb........

[Star Gazer]

OK. I would just like to point out for the last time how nonsensical this argument is...

 

A desire/need/want to feel protected by a bigger/stronger man isn't an argument. It's a biological instinct, similar to the drive many men have for women with thin waists but large hips and breasts.

[xxoo]

i agree xxoo, but dont know about the money and status thing but agree with the intelligence factor......how does status and money protect?.

 

Money provides the best health care available and the safest places for my children and I to live. Status provides connection to people with money and power.

 

But if the man wants to use his money, status, and intelligence against a woman, he can do that, too. There are no guarantees. That doesn't mean we seek weak men.

[tbf]

Money, I can make myself. Status is irrelevant. The long-armed hug of a protective, caring man is priceless.

[Anela]

 

 

If you like big, tall men, you like big and tall, hulking men. Fine. No complaints from me. But don't say it's because you feel protected. It's dumb.

 

I'm short, and I feel safe with men who don't hate women. Tall or short.

 

And why are you including ALL tall men in your argument? So anyone over 5'10" will hurt me, if given the chance? I shouldn't feel safe with any of them?

[Xinreeki]

A desire/need/want to feel protected by a bigger/stronger man isn't an argument. It's a biological instinct, similar to the drive many men have for women with thin waists but large hips and breasts.

 

I completely agree.

 

"...FEEL more protected by bigger and taller men"

 

Your title says it all really.. only you missed the point I think.

 

Feelings are not rational!

 

I'm short, and I feel safe with men who don't hate women. Tall or short.

 

And why are you including ALL tall men in your argument? So anyone over 5'10" will hurt me, if given the chance? I shouldn't feel safe with any of them?

 

Yes, just because a guy is short, it doesn't mean that he won't / can't become an abuser. In the same way that, a guy being taller doesn't make him an abuser.

[Pompeii]

This is a pretty rickety argument to justify why women should be attracted to shorter and weaker men.

 

Pretty much the same as saying blacks are more prone to violence because they are black.

[Revolver]

Women being attracted to taller men happens on a subconscious level first. The short guy who knows karate could probably protect a woman more then the 6"6 guy who doesnt but he doesnt give her the same feeling of being safe

[tbf]

Correlation or causation that the guys who have problems with women, tend to attack women and the most popular men on LS, tend to defend women?

 

Protectiveness is an instinctual attraction.

[Els]

Come on, OP. That's like posting an article about a hot woman cheating on her husband, then filing for divorce and taking half his assets, and then saying, "Look, all you guys who say that you want hot women! Look what hot women can do to you!"

 

The choice to abuse is not related to appearance, strength, or height. It is related to character. Some of the convicted domestic abuse perpetrators have been of absolutely average or below average stature.

[veggirl]

Correlation or causation that the guys who have problems with women, tend to attack women and the most popular men on LS, tend to defend women?

 

Protectiveness is an instinctual attraction.

 

Using LS as an example of real life is a weird thing. I can get on board with a protective man but the "most popular" guys on LS...I've thought even I could beat them up if I wanted.

 

tbh the "I need a man bigger than me so I feel feminine and protected" has always elicited the same response in me that "men need youthful women with small waists" has....

[Xinreeki]

I would say, that a person's controlling / violent tendencies, are not so much influenced by their height, but instead, are heavily influenced by their personality and ways of thinking.

 

Thus, its a person's state of mind / personality / ways of thinking, that should be the most important thing to assess when choosing a dating partner, if you want to avoid entering into a relationship with an abuser, and not their height

 

Of course, in reality, emotions and feelings all to often out weigh rational judgement.

[tbf]

Using LS as an example of real life is a weird thing.

You say this is weird.

I can get on board with a protective man but the "most popular" guys on LS...I've thought even I could beat them up if I wanted.

And then promptly use LS as if it's real life, in that you believe yourself capable of beating up these cyber personalities.

 

Pretty irrational.

 

tbh the "I need a man bigger than me so I feel feminine and protected" has always elicited the same response in me that "men need youthful women with small waists" has....

Your problem, not mine.

[veggirl]

:rolleyes:

 

tbf, I was saying why I think it's weird to use LS as an example of real life. Why *I* think it's weird...because *I* find the "popular" men on LS to not exactly exude a masculine protectiveness.

 

OP I think you are reaching, a LOT, with this "correlation" of larger men being more aggressive and whatnot. First of all, anyone could turn it around and say smaller guys are more aggressive because they have "more to prove". Second of all, if a larger guy in general is perceived as more aggressive, it's probably just because smaller people are scared/intimidated.

[Ryan R.]

I know some pretty destructive small guys. I'm 6 foot and they could easily kill me if they wanted to.

[Anela]

Insecurity tends to drive aggression, at least in my experience. A family member was raped by an insecure boyfriend. I don't remember how tall he was. Doesn't really matter. the more I read certain things on this board, the more I'm wanting pepper spray and a stun gun. Rather than blame the man (aside from assigning blame to him specifically because of his height, instead of his attitude), you blamed the woman for choosing to date a tall man. Things like that don't necessarily make me feel good about the "nice guy".

[Xinreeki]

 

OP I think you are reaching, a LOT, with this "correlation" of larger men being more aggressive and whatnot. First of all, anyone could turn it around and say smaller guys are more aggressive because they have "more to prove". Second of all, if a larger guy in general is perceived as more aggressive, it's probably just because smaller people are scared/intimidated.

 

Agreed.

 

Also, you could make the argument that some shorter guys might be more likely to become aggressive in a relationship if they have grown to resent rejection... as any time rejection or disagreement arises during a relationship, they may be predisposed to act out that resentment in the form of violence / abuse.

 

Obviously, not all shorter guys will become violent when in a relationship by any means, but that's the point, not all taller guys are prone to violence either.

[Xinreeki]

Insecurity tends to drive aggression, at least in my experience. A family member was raped by an insecure boyfriend. I don't remember how tall he was. Doesn't really matter. the more I read certain things on this board, the more I'm wanting pepper spray and a stun gun. Rather than blame the man (aside from assigning blame to him specifically because of his height, instead of his attitude), you blamed the woman for choosing to date a tall man. Things like that don't necessarily make me feel good about the "nice guy".

 

I agree.

 

Insecurity can lead to fear, fear can lead to hate, and hate.. can lead to suffering.

[joystickd]

The protected feeling is more logical than linking one example of a large, sociopathic male, since your average larger male is biologically stronger than your average smaller male.

Guns make the difference that small male can smoke the larger male if the threatens his life lol. That is a funny statement considering I have seen some small guys beat the sh*t out of some large ones. We live in an age now where size is not as much a factor that it used to be. Mental toughness is what matters.

[Ryan R.]

Guns make the difference that small male can smoke the larger male if the threatens his life lol. That is a funny statement considering I have seen some small guys beat the sh*t out of some large ones. We live in an age now where size is not as much a factor that it used to be. Mental toughness is what matters.

 

I agree. Men can afford to be physically weak because there's many methods of protection. If someone threatens to kill you, you call the police. Back when we were cavemen, it was pretty much every man for himself.

 

Do I encourage men to be physically weak? No. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

[KungFuJoe]

A lot of WHY we prefer something is rooted in our DNA.

 

Why men prefer fuller breasts and shapely hips...why women prefer stronger men, etc....it all goes back to the caveman days...and all comes down to chances of procreation and survival before society and civilizations were formed to provide us with this security.

 

Fuller breasts and hips meant birthing and rearing would be easier and more efficient.

 

Bigger, stronger men would be more able to protect their women from opposing males.

 

Modern civilization has been around for only a very small fraction of the time humans have been on the planet. Thus, evolution has not caught up.

 

So when a woman sees a big, strong, masculine looking man and feels that "primal" attraction...it's not because she's envisioning a scenario where his strength is going to actually protect her...it's because it is simply an innate response to a stimuli that actually lost its purpose a while back.