Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[ThaWholigan]

 

.......

You laugh but it's not really inaccurate .

 

We all have degrees of shallowness.

[AD1980]

You laugh but it's not really inaccurate .

 

We all have degrees of shallowness.

 

I see no evidence that looks are any more important to men then women..ive been around enough women to hear them constantly talk about mens looks positively and negatively..which they also do to other women..

 

Women are ultra aware of looks of everyone around them man or women..which ia why i never got the women arent visual thing..therye visual on steorids they notice everything

[mesmerized]

I see no evidence that looks are any more important to men then women..ive been around enough women to hear them constantly talk about mens looks positively and negatively..which they also do to other women..

 

Women are ultra aware of looks of everyone around them man or women..which ia why i never got the women arent visual thing..therye visual on steorids they notice everything

 

We are visual and shallow but as a whole not as much as men are. That's why it's less likely to see an attractive man with an unattractive partner than the other way around.

 

What sex is going through the most plastic surgery/ use the most cosmetic products to attract the opposite sex? There you have your answer.

[Woggle]

We are visual and shallow but as a whole not as much as men are. That's why it's less likely to see an attractive man with an unattractive partner than the other way around.

 

What sex is going through the most plastic surgery/ use the most cosmetic products to attract the opposite sex? There you have your answer.

 

Women do that because they think men are much more shallow than we actually are plus many don't do it to attract men.

[mesmerized]

Women do that because they think men are much more shallow than we actually are plus many don't do it to attract men.

 

Women certainly do it to attract men, specially when they go under the knife for it.

[Woggle]

Women certainly do it to attract men, specially when they go under the knife for it.

 

No they don't. Women say all the time they do it for themselves or to boost their confidence. If they do do it to attract men it is because the beauty industry makes millions convincing women men are more shallow than we actually are.

[mesmerized]

No they don't. Women say all the time they do it for themselves or to boost their confidence. If they do do it to attract men it is because the beauty industry makes millions convincing women men are more shallow than we actually are.

 

lol, except it's not only the beauty industry. Men always will approach/want the girls who look prettier/sexier, at least at the initial stages. Women HAVE to do this to get their feet at the door.

[AD1980]

We are visual and shallow but as a whole not as much as men are. That's why it's less likely to see an attractive man with an unattractive partner than the other way around.

 

What sex is going through the most plastic surgery/ use the most cosmetic products to attract the opposite sex? There you have your answer.

 

Most couples are pretty evenly matched,you rarely see some hot girl with a really fat guy unless its a comedy sitcom

 

As far as plastic surgery im sure women arent getting it in hopes of attracting an average man therye more then likely doing it to enhance their look and get a good looking high status man

[mesmerized]

Most couples are pretty evenly matched,you rarely see some hot girl with a really fat guy unless its a comedy sitcom

 

As far as plastic surgery im sure women arent getting it in hopes of attracting an average man therye more then likely doing it to enhance their look and get a good looking high status man

 

But the truth is men don't go out thinking to only approach girls in their own league. They always start from the hottest. Hello? Read some LS threads. Bottom line is that as a woman you have to work hard on your looks if you want to be noticed.

[kaylan]

We are visual and shallow but as a whole not as much as men are. That's why it's less likely to see an attractive man with an unattractive partner than the other way around.

 

What sex is going through the most plastic surgery/ use the most cosmetic products to attract the opposite sex? There you have your answer.

Inmy experience women are just as visual and shallow as men. Some simply hide it better and are less vocal with their shallowness than men are. Also, I dunno where you have live, but I have seen tons of guys dating girls below his league. I wouldnt say men or women do it greater or lesser than the other.

 

The only reason girls go through plastic surgery is because men control society and many women feel their looks are their strong point. Doesnt mean girls are any less shallow. Guys just dont care to get plastic surgery, especially since we run things. Guys would rather make up their looks with cash.

 

Me personally, I like to fix my flaws in the gym and at the clothing store lol.

No they don't. Women say all the time they do it for themselves or to boost their confidence. If they do do it to attract men it is because the beauty industry makes millions convincing women men are more shallow than we actually are.

This. If women stopped paying so much attention to celebs and the media, theyd see most guys dont care for plastic surgery. Its a HUGE turn off for many of us. That being said, only a small percentage of women get work done anyways. So guys do as well, but many dont because its frowned upon unless youre in Hollywood.

lol, except it's not only the beauty industry. Men always will approach/want the girls who look prettier/sexier, at least at the initial stages. Women HAVE to do this to get their feet at the door.

Go to the gym, and wear decent clothing. Thats a way a girl can make herself attractive. No surgery needed. Its not like guys arent inundated with ideas of being tall pretty boys with lean muscular bodies. It goes both ways...both men and women need to get their foot in the door.

 

The small percentage of people who get plastic surgery dont represent the general populace though...so I would hope women are smart enough to know they dont need to get work done to get a good guy. The ones who get work done typically do it so they can get by on their looks though.

 

In my eyes things are shifting anyways, since women are becoming more upwardly mobile on their own. But you still have the vapid and useless trophy girls who ruin it for all women by having nothing to offer but their looks and vag.

Edited August 29, 2012 by kaylan

[TheFinalWord]

 

How do I come to terms with my height or lack thereof? It hinders my confidence in meeting women more than meeting women themselves to be honest.

 

- I'm 165cm and 21 years old.

 

You're doing "better" than Nick Vujicic and he just got married to a beautiful woman

 

 

Limbless Evangelist Nick Vujicic Honeymoons With New Wife in Hawaii

[Humate]

I'm a 5'4'' male and my whole life, I have noticed the way people treat me compared to taller people. It's not just women, men as well. It's like I don't even get noticed. I'm simply a ghost walking around. And when it comes to women, I can forget about that. I don't understand why all these people in this thread reply with "Then just find short women". Who says who I shouldn't be able to date? Why should I only look at short women. Why not both short and tall?

 

What I find ridiculous is when a girl shorter than me will only date extremely tall men. Um, I'm taller than you, but not tall enough huh? Now that is completely irrational.

[silicone]

I'm a 5'4'' male and my whole life, I have noticed the way people treat me compared to taller people. It's not just women, men as well. It's like I don't even get noticed. I'm simply a ghost walking around. And when it comes to women, I can forget about that. I don't understand why all these people in this thread reply with "Then just find short women". Who says who I shouldn't be able to date? Why should I only look at short women. Why not both short and tall?

 

What I find ridiculous is when a girl shorter than me will only date extremely tall men. Um, I'm taller than you, but not tall enough huh? Now that is completely irrational.

 

Where I am, people don't treat me with disrespect, but people know that I can come down like a ton of bricks. It still takes a lot to anger me though. I don't have a quick temper.

[Caryopteris]

So you are 5'5" ? Is that without shoes?

 

My boyfriend is around 5'6," and honestly he is extremely popular with women. He has a lot of charisma. I am 5'6 1/2", and I prefer men my own height. It is much more intimate to look right in a guy's eyes. I have read many women's profiles where they expect a boyfriend to be 6 feet tall, but with the right masculine look and confident personality, it doesn't seem to matter a bit. I would optimize what you have and don't assume you can only date women shorter than you. Consider getting wardrobe advice and working on your physique if you have any areas that need work. Nice arms and the right body weight go a loooooong way with women, as does good posture and a good head of hair. Shoes are important too. It is possible you are focusing too much on the height thing. There are lifts you can put in your shoes, too. Even 1/2 inch might help your confidence.

 

Before you read this, I hope you don't judge me for the insecurities I'm about to confess on this post and more importantly I hope you don't project these thoughts onto the shorter gentleman you may stumble across in your every day activities.

 

How do I gain confidence in a world where I'm considered "genetically" inadequate? I mean I and other short men do exist for a reason as our ancestors somehow managed to bypass their genetic "drawbacks" and found a mate of their own. However how do I do it in this modern society where being tall and handsome are stressed to such a degree that you can find them subtly (and more explicitly inserted into advertisements (especially about dating sites), movies (especially superhero movies), tv shows and almost all sports?

 

I have many girl-friends telling me that women only ever for a shorter man because they cannot find themselves a taller one, and to be honest that makes me want to blow my brains out sometimes (figuratively that is). I mean, I wasn't born with such luck but I along with others, we're still human beings, sometimes when I go out partying or clubbing both women and men point out my height to neutralize me in social situations. Short guys are written off as having some pseudo-mental condition - "napoleon complex" which itself is a scientific myth, I mean....I'm just trying to chill, I just want to have fun, I just want to be happy like everyone else and like many people I don't want to step on someone else's happiness in pursuit of my own.

 

How do I come to terms with my height or lack thereof? It hinders my confidence in meeting women more than meeting women themselves to be honest.

 

- I'm 165cm and 21 years old.

[LuckyLady13]

If anyone still believes a mans height or any other body part is an indicator of penis size, STOP!

 

The tallest guy I ever dated with the biggest hands, broadest shoulders and biggest feet...had the smallest penis, hand down! I was so shocked that I couldn't hide it no matter how hard I tried. I didn't even know they can come that small!

 

And he's an ex for reasons completely unrelated to penis size, by the way.

[silicone]

If anyone still believes a mans height or any other body part is an indicator of penis size, STOP!

 

The tallest guy I ever dated with the biggest hands, broadest shoulders and biggest feet...had the smallest penis, hand down! I was so shocked that I couldn't hide it no matter how hard I tried. I didn't even know they can come that small!

 

And he's an ex for reasons completely unrelated to penis size, by the way.

 

I don't believe most do.

[soccerrprp]

height is associated with penis size. so women are not attracted to short men bc they believe they have tiny peepees.

 

this notion, myth is just that...a myth. so, what you are saying is that women believe that penis size is associated with height...okay, i'll buy that.

[AwkwardGuy]

So you are 5'5" ? Is that without shoes?

 

My boyfriend is around 5'6," and honestly he is extremely popular with women. He has a lot of charisma. I am 5'6 1/2", and I prefer men my own height. It is much more intimate to look right in a guy's eyes. I have read many women's profiles where they expect a boyfriend to be 6 feet tall, but with the right masculine look and confident personality, it doesn't seem to matter a bit. I would optimize what you have and don't assume you can only date women shorter than you. Consider getting wardrobe advice and working on your physique if you have any areas that need work. Nice arms and the right body weight go a loooooong way with women, as does good posture and a good head of hair. Shoes are important too. It is possible you are focusing too much on the height thing. There are lifts you can put in your shoes, too. Even 1/2 inch might help your confidence.

 

So the shorter guy always must have some other compensating qualities. Well, I'm screwed then. Becuuse I've always been rather feminine and the opposite of confident with no personality. I need some kind of a therapy but can't afford it because i'm jobless, and btw - I'm only 159cm... So even the op is taller by 6 cm~2 inches. talking about tough luck... Ive hardly even left my room in months,cuz it seems the world is for normal people, not me. I also cannot even socialize, I get panic attacks...Looking up to literally everybody is not fun, it used to be ok in high school cuz many guys were like 5'7 , but in the adult world it's different... So unlike other short men who have managed to deal with it, this whole issue has been destroying me for years

[silicone]

So the shorter guy always must have some other compensating qualities. Well, I'm screwed then. Becuuse I've always been rather feminine and the opposite of confident with no personality. I need some kind of a therapy but can't afford it because i'm jobless, and btw - I'm only 159cm... So even the op is taller by 6 cm~2 inches. talking about tough luck... Ive hardly even left my room in months,cuz it seems the world is for normal people, not me. I also cannot even socialize, I get panic attacks...Looking up to literally everybody is not fun, it used to be ok in high school cuz many guys were like 5'7 , but in the adult world it's different... So unlike other short men who have managed to deal with it, this whole issue has been destroying me for years

 

Bingo.

 

You sort of remind me, of me, except that I'm 2-3cm shorter than you, and I have a job. Therapy hasn't worked for me - my counsellor and psych has asked me to look into limb leg extension (distraction) surgery.

 

I think you have body dysmorphic disorder, which has led to social anxiety, by the sound of things, but I'm not a doctor. (Social Anxiety Forum and Social Phobia Forums, if you want some resources and reading to do).

[silicone]

So the shorter guy always must have some other compensating qualities. Well, I'm screwed then. Becuuse I've always been rather feminine and the opposite of confident with no personality. I need some kind of a therapy but can't afford it because i'm jobless, and btw - I'm only 159cm... So even the op is taller by 6 cm~2 inches. talking about tough luck... Ive hardly even left my room in months,cuz it seems the world is for normal people, not me. I also cannot even socialize, I get panic attacks...Looking up to literally everybody is not fun, it used to be ok in high school cuz many guys were like 5'7 , but in the adult world it's different... So unlike other short men who have managed to deal with it, this whole issue has been destroying me for years

 

Bingo.

 

You sort of remind me, of me, except that I'm 2-3cm shorter than you, and I have a job. Therapy hasn't worked for me - my counsellor and psych has asked me to look into limb leg extension (distraction) surgery.

 

I think you have body dysmorphic disorder, which has led to social anxiety, by the sound of things, but I'm not a doctor.

[AwkwardGuy]

Bingo.

 

You sort of remind me, of me, except that I'm 2-3cm shorter than you, and I have a job. Therapy hasn't worked for me - my counsellor and psych has asked me to look into limb leg extension (distraction) surgery.

 

I think you have body dysmorphic disorder, which has led to social anxiety, by the sound of things, but I'm not a doctor. (Social Anxiety Forum and Social Phobia Forums, if you want some resources and reading to do).

 

Wait..you can't be shorter than me, you said you were 5'2, and so am I. 159cm is 5'2 right?

 

yeah I've got lots of disorders now and it seems every time I start to gain a little confidence, I immediately realize how I'm still so much shorter than others, so it won't matter what I do... what's the use if I have no height?...And then depression takes over.

[silicone]

Wait..you can't be shorter than me, you said you were 5'2, and so am I. 159cm is 5'2 right?

 

yeah I've got lots of disorders now and it seems every time I start to gain a little confidence, I immediately realize how I'm still so much shorter than others, so it won't matter what I do... what's the use if I have no height?...And then depression takes over.

 

5'2" is 157cm, I believe I'm 156.7, but my latest medical shows me at 5'7".

 

Ironically, if we all moved to the metric system, some girl saying that they want a 183cm (6'0") man is somewhat stupid.

 

Depression does take over, and I'm still fighting it.

[Caryopteris]

So the shorter guy always must have some other compensating qualities. Well, I'm screwed then. Becuuse I've always been rather feminine and the opposite of confident with no personality. I need some kind of a therapy but can't afford it because i'm jobless, and btw - I'm only 159cm... So even the op is taller by 6 cm~2 inches. talking about tough luck... Ive hardly even left my room in months,cuz it seems the world is for normal people, not me. I also cannot even socialize, I get panic attacks...Looking up to literally everybody is not fun, it used to be ok in high school cuz many guys were like 5'7 , but in the adult world it's different... So unlike other short men who have managed to deal with it, this whole issue has been destroying me for years

You know, I can get down on myself too, but it's not useful. There are ways to be more masculine. Some ideas: Work out with weights and take up running. Go to trade school for something like plumbing. I bet it works out well to be short as a plumber. Welding pays well. But you should toughen yourself up by working outside so you look the part. Wear work boots with thick, knobby soles and cargo pants. Wear clothes that fit - never oversized. Try taking supplements like L-arginine. Be the best you can be. You only get one life, and this is what you have to work with. It's cliche, but there are people born with much bigger problems than you and I were.

[Charlie Harper]

I am 5 7 and never ever had trouble with women, in fact I used to date taller women all the time, I still remember one had this special way of bending her knees to the side to lower herself to kiss me... One of my closest friends is a super hot woman and her ex husband is like 5 3, and quite ugly TBH, I asked her "wow I thought that you liked taller guys" she answered: "He is very funny just like you, but has really bad temper"

[bob the brave]

I know this subject has been beaten to death, but I'm still confused?

 

I recently lost a girl to a player and then she married off to another guy.

She rejected me in part because I was too small (her words). I am 5'9", 160 lbs and she is 5'7". I have been in MMA for over 10 years and in excellent shape, college educated. The player has no education or skills, 5'10" and a beer belly. Although I'm a bit smaller, I am much stronger and could take this guy.

 

There is another guy at work, 5'4" 130 lbs. Another girl at work was constantly complaining about him to others (including his boss) about things that weren't true. When I asked her why she said, "I just hate Earl." When I asked why she hated him, she paused, looked at the ceiling and then said, "He so small?" She wasn't dating this guy and he never hit on her! He is a really nice guy.

 

Another time we we're all sitting around a bar when they introduced me to the bartender (an attractive girl, mid 20s). The first thing she said was, "You're so tiny!"

 

To contradict all this, I once new an Aussie who was 5'6" 150 lbs and not very good looking (over 55), but very outgoing and commanding in a good way. He was able to attract young women who never mentioned his size.

 

From my experience, a man's size is very important to women in dating? But is it size, or strength? Is it different if you're looking for a ONS or marriage? Is it more or less important in one scenerio than another. How was my friend able to override this instinct?

 

I am constantly annoyed and saddened by how many potentially positive relationships have been shot down before even given a chance.

Edited October 10, 2012 by bob the brave