Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[somedude81]

No I didn't. You're just looking for a fight..and you don't want to admit that your issues might not be physical.

 

The point that I was making that as a woman, getting a boyfriend, or just getting laid is much easier than it is for a man. Also, for the vast majority of women getting laid or getting a BF aren't used as a source of confidence.

 

For a man, getting laid and generally knowing that women like him, will increase his confidence. I know this because when I was with my ex, I got a massive confidence boost. It felt amazing to be desired, knowing that she liked me and so on.

 

I have many issues, physical and non-physical.

 

The physical ones are the ones that affect me the most. If a woman isn't physically attracted to me, then I need to work extra hard to get her interested in me. If a woman was already attracted to me, and already liked me, then getting her to go on a date would be much easier than if she had no interest.

 

Tell me this, if you were not at all physically attracted to a guy, would you bother with getting to know him?

[Potz4prez]

Please don't respond Kali. He doesn't want to be helped and self-depreciation gets boring quick.

[KaliLove]

Please don't respond Kali. He doesn't want to be helped and self-depreciation gets boring quick.

 

Don't worry..I'm done with that conversation. So..tell me more about you. What made you join this particular conversation?

 

Also, for the record..I don't think I'm that into the guy that I started this convo about anyway. Not because of the height, but because of personality stuff.

[Potz4prez]

Don't worry..I'm done with that conversation. So..tell me more about you. What made you join this particular conversation?

 

Also, for the record..I don't think I'm that into the guy that I started this convo about anyway. Not because of the height, but because of personality stuff.

 

Just wanted to flaunt my height on the internet -.-

 

Oh, so YOU started this? Jeeezzee, do you fish much?

 

Wait... you don't like a guy because of his personality? I don't believe it.

 

 

Wow... I am way too sarcastic for the internet right now. Honestly, a bad personality is my biggest turn off.

[thefooloftheyear]

The point that I was making that as a woman, getting a boyfriend, or just getting laid is much easier than it is for a man. Also, for the vast majority of women getting laid or getting a BF aren't used as a source of confidence.

 

For a man, getting laid and generally knowing that women like him, will increase his confidence. I know this because when I was with my ex, I got a massive confidence boost. It felt amazing to be desired, knowing that she liked me and so on.

 

I have many issues, physical and non-physical.

 

The physical ones are the ones that affect me the most. If a woman isn't physically attracted to me, then I need to work extra hard to get her interested in me. If a woman was already attracted to me, and already liked me, then getting her to go on a date would be much easier than if she had no interest.

 

Tell me this, if you were not at all physically attracted to a guy, would you bother with getting to know him?

 

OK...lets stop for a moment about looks....Lets change gears...

 

Answer a few questions...No need to be specific, and if you dont want to make these answers available to all posters PM me...Ill explain where I am going with this...

 

OK..We know what you look like and your age(32)...

 

-Have you ever made a mortgage payment/owned your own home?

 

-What do you do for a living? Roughy how much do you make?

 

-We know you like video games, anime, and dancing.....anything else?

 

-Do you live at home with parents/family?

 

-Do you own any stocks/or have a portfolio?

 

-What kind of car do you drive?

 

Again...You will see where I am going with this...Please, if you are going to answer do it truthfully....

 

TFY

[Bruce Leigh]

We all have preferences, some are more acceptable than others. Like many double standards that exist in this world. FFS, deal with it.

Peace !!

[somedude81]

OK...lets stop for a moment about looks....Lets change gears...

 

Answer a few questions...No need to be specific, and if you dont want to make these answers available to all posters PM me...Ill explain where I am going with this...

 

OK..We know what you look like and your age(32)...

 

-Have you ever made a mortgage payment/owned your own home?

 

-What do you do for a living? Roughy how much do you make?

 

-We know you like video games, anime, and dancing.....anything else?

 

-Do you live at home with parents/family?

 

-Do you own any stocks/or have a portfolio?

 

-What kind of car do you drive?

 

Again...You will see where I am going with this...Please, if you are going to answer do it truthfully....

 

TFY

 

I'm currently unemployed and finishing up my business degree which will be complete in December. I've been living on student loans but I need to need to get a job for the summer and most likely for my last semester of college. I have my own apartment and drive a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder.

 

Virtually all of your questions are related to money or my finances. So I'm assuming that your point is something about women and money?

[contact1]

Women are not all the same. Thank goodness.

 

I do see height as attractive, to a point (over a certain height is less attractive to me, as I'm small). But other factors are more of a turn on for me, like a broad chest and thick forearms (oh my god, thick forearms!).

 

No surprise, I married a guy who has more notable forearms than height. And he has no problem tossing me around, in all the best ways

 

So you married Popeye?

[jonsnuh]

If it's any consolation, I've found height is just a number that women use to discriminate males. In reality, unless they are very close to the height or that they are shorter with their preferred height, they usually cannot eyeball with precision the difference between someone who is 5'9 and 6'0 unless you did a side by side comparison.

 

What works best however, is to seem tall that in turns exudes confidence. I really get the feeling that it's almost psychological, as if having a penny short from 6.00 to 5.99 is a big deal.

 

Oh yeah, and girls talk. 'Hey, my bf is 6 foot'. You think girls don't use their BFs to exude confidence? REALLY?

 

Edited May 18, 2014 by jonsnuh

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm currently unemployed and finishing up my business degree which will be complete in December. I've been living on student loans but I need to need to get a job for the summer and most likely for my last semester of college. I have my own apartment and drive a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder.

 

Virtually all of your questions are related to money or my finances. So I'm assuming that your point is something about women and money?

 

I hope you dont take offense by my comments....but I am trying to be frank and help you understand what the issue here is and why your height isnt your problem...I just think you are using it as an excuse..

 

Again, I dont mean to be harsh, but you asked, so here goes.....

 

You are WAYYY behind the curve as far as guys your age go..By your age, you should have been done with school long ago, maybe had a small house of your own...And well established in a career by now or in your own business of some kind and making a decent dollar....To your credit, you arent sitting at home getting stoned...so thats good I suppose.

 

Then you add the fact that your interests are video games and cartoons(I dont know anything about anime, but its a cartoon as I see it)....WOMEN(not girls) that are in your age group are probably starting to get a picture in their minds...and its not good...They may not all need a "Commander" type of guy, but grown women arent generally going to look positively on a guy with your current resume..

 

OK....Now you can add to this that you are average looking and kinda short...You seem like a decent guy as far as personality goes, but I have no idea....So what does all of this mean.??

 

You are probably eliminating 85 or 90% of all "good" women in your age bracket, before they even lay eyes on you...Thats how I see it...What you have left is probably damaged or unattractive women that have limited options themselves...

 

Women might tell you that none of that other stuff matters..Theyll tell you its not about money or ambition...They are liars...Period..Just like they tell you that you are too short for them...Well...They are probably either lying or just trying to let you down easy by telling you that you are too short...Women have a way of not wanting to be the "bad guy" when it comes to relationships/breakups...So its probably better for them to say you are too short, rather then tell you that you are unmotivated, have no career, are immature, stunted, or whatever....See how that works.??

 

Now here is some good news....

 

If you get yourself settled into a good career/job....Start making some green, Own a nice home or better living arrangement, get some more age appropriate interests and maybe hit the gym and get some confidence there...All of this will boost your confidence level and the short guy excuse just went away..

 

Poof...All of a sudden you arent just the "short guy" anymore...

 

Remember...We are the same height...I'd bet you are even an inch taller than me..And id even bet you have a better personality than me....Yet, ive never had any issue attracting attention from women and Ive NEVER been called short...NEVER...We arent a different species..So how can two people have such different life experiences???

 

Perhaps now you know...

 

Again...apologize in advance if any offense taken....Im truly trying to show you that its not what you think it is...

 

TFY

Edited May 18, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[somedude81]

I can't remember the last time I went after a girl in my age bracket.

 

A woman won't know any of the above things you mentioned unless she gives me a chance and wants to know more about me.

 

And finally, women I meet in person don't have a clue how old I am. They keep guessing I'm 25.

[thefooloftheyear]

I can't remember the last time I went after a girl in my age bracket.

 

Why??

 

A woman won't know any of the above things you mentioned unless she gives me a chance and wants to know more about me.

 

Not necessarily so...I suppose you could say that for a "cold approach", but lets be honest...that doesnt work out that often...Most people meet others from work or other social arenas where like people congregate...If you were in those "circles" you would qualify yourself without saying a word to anyone..

 

 

 

And finally, women I meet in person don't have a clue how old I am. They keep guessing I'm 25.

 

Im trying to figure out how this has any relevance.,,,You are a guy in your 30's...Im in my 40's and look way younger...but I am still in my 40's and do what most active people do at this age..

 

 

 

If i was single and in my 30's Id be chasing women, not girls..but thats me..

 

I dunno...maybe thats part of the problem...Younger "girls" are more apt to be flighty and indecisive when it comes to dating/,men....SO if you are targeting them because you think you are more on their level, then you might find some disappointment.. They might be more superficial and less pragmatic..Thus the issue of height alone comes into play...

 

You need to start looking at some of these factors...thats all..

 

TFY

Edited May 18, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[xxoo]

I can't remember the last time I went after a girl in my age bracket.

 

A woman won't know any of the above things you mentioned unless she gives me a chance and wants to know more about me.

 

And finally, women I meet in person don't have a clue how old I am. They keep guessing I'm 25.

 

 

If you are relying on cold approaches, then height and looks matter significantly more. Just as women's appearance matters more in cold approach. You won't approach a woman at all if you aren't physically attracted.

 

But if you develop some social connections, and get to know a larger group of people, then things like a good job and a nice lifestyle will be very attractive to women you get to know. You won't have to rely on looks alone. Can you imagine how much easier dating would be then?

 

But if you want to rely on looks and height, having the same results, and blaming your height, keep on doing exactly what you're doing.

[somedude81]

If i was single and in my 30's Id be chasing women, not girls..but thats me..

 

I dunno...maybe thats part of the problem...Younger "girls" are more apt to be flighty and indecisive when it comes to dating/,men....SO if you are targeting them because you think you are more on their level, then you might find some disappointment.. They might be more superficial and less pragmatic..Thus the issue of height alone comes into play...

 

You need to start looking at some of these factors...thats all..

 

TFY

The reason I'm chasing "girls" and not "women" is that I know that nobody over 25 would be interested in me as I am now. Those women expect more from a man than younger women do.

 

A younger woman is also going to have less relationship experience than somebody 25+. Up until last year, I've never even had a girlfriend. Somebody 25 would just expect more from the relationship, and I can't perform at that level yet.

 

Also, I'm finishing up my degree and I'm constantly surrounded by women 23 and under. I would have to go out of my way to meet women 25+ and I don't really know how to meet them.

 

Those are a few of the reasons why I prefer younger women.

 

When it comes to meeting girls in college, those things in the questions you asked me aren't really relevant.

 

Of course I know that college shouldn't be the only way I meet women. I'm actually done for the summer and I don't want to wait till September to meet girls again.

 

OLD is the most likely way I'd meet women, but that's a venue where my income is very important.

[Targetlock]

All i know is good things come in all shapes and sizes

[topaMAXX]

 

OLD is the most likely way I'd meet women, but that's a venue where my income is very important.

 

I think you should check out some PUA sites and start approaching girls in bars/clubs. I don't think OLD should ever be any man's primary source of women.

 

Besides, in my experience, the girls in clubs tend to be hotter than the ones on OLD and way more receptive to approaches.

[somedude81]

I think you should check out some PUA sites and start approaching girls in bars/clubs. I don't think OLD should ever be any man's primary source of women.

 

Besides, in my experience, the girls in clubs tend to be hotter than the ones on OLD and way more receptive to approaches.

 

Long ago I actually did a PUA workshop and was part of my local "PUA Lair for a little over a year."

 

It just didn't work for me.

 

The cold approach just isn't my thing.

[topaMAXX]

Long ago I actually did a PUA workshop and was part of my local "PUA Lair for a little over a year."

 

It just didn't work for me.

 

The cold approach just isn't my thing.

 

Cold approach is something that takes a little while to get good at. I've been cold approaching on and off for the past 7 years. I'm at a point where I could not do it for a while and then seamlessly jump back into it. But I wasn't always like that.

 

You can't just do it for one week and expect to get good at it (well, some guys can, but most can't).

[thefooloftheyear]

Long ago I actually did a PUA workshop and was part of my local "PUA Lair for a little over a year."

 

It just didn't work for me.

 

The cold approach just isn't my thing.

 

Forget the girls in clubs....Forget girls period...Work on the other areas of your life and you will meet quality women...Not a bunch of party girl tramps and sluts.....I worked in clubs for years., boy do I know..

 

Im serious, bro...It will happen..I know you dont believe it. Women arent as complicated and elusive as you are making them out to be..You just need to know what twists their knobs, and some smooth talking and contrived PUA bullshyt isnt the answer..

 

TFY

[somedude81]

Forget the girls in clubs....Forget girls period...Work on the other areas of your life and you will meet quality women...Not a bunch of party girl tramps and sluts.....I worked in clubs for years., boy do I know..

Ugh, why do people keep telling me to forget girls?

 

Yeah, I'm going to stop going after what I want most in this world because somebody online told me so.

 

Women arent as complicated and elusive as you are making them out to be..You just need to know what twists their knobs, and some smooth talking and contrived PUA bullshyt isnt the answer..

And what is the answer?

 

I know it sure as hell ain't giving up and hoping some girl knocks on my door wearing a trench coat and nothing else.

 

I'm graduating in December. I don't want to be single until then.

[hasaquestion]

Ugh, why do people keep telling me to forget girls?

 

Yeah, I'm going to stop going after what I want most in this world because somebody online told me so.

 

 

And what is the answer?

 

I know it sure as hell ain't giving up and hoping some girl knocks on my door wearing a trench coat and nothing else.

 

I'm graduating in December. I don't want to be single until then.

 

....and you wonder why you're single.

[somedude81]

....and you wonder why you're single.

 

Yes, because women are mind readers, and are instantly turned off knowing that I really want a GF.

 

Try again.

[thefooloftheyear]

Ugh, why do people keep telling me to forget girls?

 

Yeah, I'm going to stop going after what I want most in this world because somebody online told me so.

 

 

And what is the answer?

 

I know it sure as hell ain't giving up and hoping some girl knocks on my door wearing a trench coat and nothing else.

 

I'm graduating in December. I don't want to be single until then.

 

 

Because as a 32 year old man(?) you are supposed to be graduating from the tweeners and party girls and looking more toward the women..You know, the ones that have good careers, are more stable, and arent out whoring around in bars or hanging out with their BFFs and playing Minecraft..

 

But what do I know....

 

TFY

[hasaquestion]

Yes, because women are mind readers, and are instantly turned off knowing that I really want a GF.

 

Try again.

 

No but they are instantly turned off by your lack of confidence, your loner-like behavior, your lack of any social circles or friends, your being in undergrad at 32 and not having a job, your apparent lack of any notable hobbies, along with a combination of your appearance, your demeanor, and your attitude.

 

Virtually all of which are a product of your all-consuming mania about having a girlfriend.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes, attract the women who will want your money, rather than you. So long as you're willing to blow a ****load of your money on them to keep them around, it'd be disgustingly easy to "date" them. lol

 

 

Thats not what she or I meant...

 

Quality women dont want unemployed losers, immature wandering morons or stoners..they want a guy thats successful, driven, and can take care of himself...heck, she can, and in many cases will, make more money than him, but they arent necessarily going to carry a loser-nor should they...

 

Is there anything wrong with that??? I am sure thats what she meant, as I do..apologies in advace xxoo if I am off base here..

 

TFY