Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[xxoo]

I agree with Glinda's advice. At 16, please don't align yourself with full grown men who blame their dating woes on their height. Keep living and learning, and if you are socially active and try lots of new things and socialize with lots of people, I guarantee you are going to meet men your height who do very well with women.

 

If you spend all your free time in your bedroom reading online about how much women hate short guys, you won't have those experiences that counteract all that negative propaganda, and you might start to believe it. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

[thefooloftheyear]

PEOPLE are idealistic; it is HUMAN nature. The very guys who complain on these threads have idealized notions of what kind of girl they require, when they themselves are not bringing enough to warrant being so picky …

 

It's not a gender thing. Truly.

 

 

No way...

 

Guys arent nearly as "dreamy" and idealistic when it comes to relationships as women are...They are much more likely to be practical...Its not really human nature...

 

Oh...and women never admit they are wrong, either.....

 

TFY

[Glinda.Good]

Whenever I hear a woman complain about a guy being "boring", I always think of a 5 year old child that didn't get their way.

 

Grow up, ladies.

 

Haha, if you only knew how grown up I am.

 

And what does my opinion about what I find boring or not have to do with being childish? I imagine you even find some things boring yourself!

 

Anyway, I did not complain about a guy being boring. I stated that the characteristic of being preoccupied with life's unfairness because of a physical characteristic is BORING. And a guy who did it would not be appealing. To me. Neither would a woman. My friends don't waste too much time on that stuff.

[Trufita]

I think that whether you are short or tall, the first step to make someone like you is to like yourself. And not just to persue a date, the most important and longest relationship we will ever have is with ourselves, so there is no point in not liking us because we are too small/too tall, too thin or too fat.

 

Obviously appearance it's the first thing you see, but personality is what's more important, and if you are a total catch and this girl doesn't even go on a date with you because you are 5'3, then why would you even want to date someone so shallow.

 

I'm 5'3 (1.63) and my boyfriend is around 6 ft, but if he was small like me I would have dated him too.

[somedude81]

That's malarkey! That is HER preference, ONE woman! Her preferences and those of women "like her" don't make dating "harder than it should be."

 

And I'm interested to know how easy dating "should be" for anybody. It's NOT easy and there is no "should." None of us are ENTITLED to easy dating or to have a love of any kind. It is a gift.

 

So, you don't get to choose from EVERY woman in the universe because some of them prefer a guy who is much different than you. Or, MANY prefer a guy much different than you. Oh well. Choose from those who actually do prefer a guy like you - ideally, who like YOU specifically.

 

Sheesh, dude.

Wow, calm down. Aren't you supposed to be the good witch?

 

Sheeh.

[Glinda.Good]

Wow, calm down. Aren't you supposed to be the good witch?

 

Sheeh.

 

I am a very good witch, here to spread wisdom and comfort!

 

Seriously, don't talk about how women or anything outside of yourself make dating harder than it "should be." It sounds like you feel you are entitled to an easy dating life. None of us are entitled to anything like that. It is a hindrance to feel such entitlement.

 

In the immortal words of the Rolling Stones:

 

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometime you find

You get what you need

 

And most of us come to realize that what we need is often not what we were thinking we needed ...

[PJKino]

I think at a certain point some women will give a short man a chance its usually when her biological clocks ticking as shes gotten older and her options have dried up and realizes that her pursuit of that tall dark handsome men might never happen.

[Weezy1973]

As a general point of discussion, regarding genetic superiority, I offer a comparison:

 

Tall and handsome

 

Short and 'nerdy'

 

Perhaps it would be instructive to explain what, exactly, 'genetic superiority' means. My presumption, perhaps erroneous, but based on life experience dating and being married to them, is that women seek to mate with men who will produce the most socially successful offspring, thereby bringing attention to themselves as proud parents, grandparents, great grand-parents, etc, etc, essentially achieving social immortality and popularity through their genes. That's the gist of the tone I've received from all the 'proud parents' I've had the pleasure of making acquaintance with over the decades, including my own.

 

With that aside, back to the examples....

 

Who's genetically superior, and why?

 

Genetically superior, in an evolutionary sense, would mean being the most reproductively fit. In other words, we should be attracted to people that give us the highest chance of getting our genes into future generations - not just our kids, but grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc.

 

Social success indeed would be part of this (likely why something like a sense of humour is attractive), but it has nothing to do with social immortality. Genetic immortality sure. Social immortality, not so much.

[R3d]

I seem to run in circles with this issue. Frankly, this is what this thread has been. For a few days, I don't feel too insecure about my height, then others, all I do is torture myself about it. Then I post about it here, and them you vBulletin people pacify me. Then I do it again. How do I break out of this and stay in the pacified state permanently?

 

And that goes for this thread too. Notice how from the very beginning, people have made excellent "pacifying" posts and made some good points on why us short men shouldn't worry about our height. Yet this thread has still gone way unnecessarily long. Fact is, this thread can go on forever. That's because there's no end to complaining about your height.

[somedude81]

That's because there's no end to complaining about your height.

 

There is actually, though it mostly depends on the person and why they are complaining.

 

All that I can say, is that when I was with my ex girlfriend, my height was a complete non-issue and never on my mind.

 

I didn't care that most women want tall guys, I was with somebody who didn't and I was completely happy with her.

[Pyro]

Prove me wrong

[Lernaean_Hydra]

The guy I'm seeing now is 5'6... (maybe 5'5 tbh because we seem about the same height when we're side by side). I haven't dated a man over 5'7 in.... gosh, a while. And I've only ever dated one guy over 5'10 and that was short lived.

 

So.....

[Koopa]

there is a popular guy in DFW area, he has somewhere around 25k followers on twitter and he gets really beautiful girls all the time. He looks like a hobbit

[lollipopspot]

The guy I'm seeing now is 5'6... (maybe 5'5 tbh because we seem about the same height when we're side by side).

 

Pretty much my current experience too.

[Phoe]

I've dated more men who are shorter than me, than men who are taller than me. I'm 5'8

[Koopa]

Tom Cruise is 5'7"

Ron Jeremy is 5'6"

Jonathan Taylor Thomas 5'6"

Daniel Radcliffe 5'5.25"

Bruno Mars 5'5"

The artist formerly known as Prince 5'2"

Kevin Hart 5'2"

 

the list goes on and on

[somedude81]

there is a popular guy in DFW area, he has somewhere around 25k followers on twitter and he gets really beautiful girls all the time. He looks like a hobbit

 

Were there any good pictures of his feet?

[down hearted]

Me and my husband are the same height, when i wear high heels am actually taller than him i am 5'7, my husband is also 5'7 so yea, he does not mind he likes me wearing heels .

[melell]

I am going to be honest, despite how superficial. I am more attracted to males between 6'1 - 6'3, no idea why. Would I have a partner that was someone short? Yes, and I have. I have been much more attracted to a partner that was 6'2 though.

 

Facial aesthetics they were equal. Personality, liked them equally.. but was more physically attracted to the taller.

[KathyM]

My first serious boyfriend was the same height as me, 5'8".

 

 

My husband is the same height as me, 5'8".

 

 

I've dated both tall men and shorter men, but chose to marry a shorter man.

 

 

I would draw the line at a man who was shorter than me, though, as I don't want to be looking down at him.

[somedude81]

Short guys with a good attitude get their share of women

 

Prove me wrong

 

I'm not denying that short guys can get women, but it does take a bit more than a good attitude.

 

Believe it or not, I actually have a great attitude when I interact with women, but I don't get anywhere near close to my share of women.

 

BTW how would I even know when I've hit my allotted number of women?

 

Would I get an "Achievement Unlocked: You're Winner!" message?

[somedude81]

It's pretty much a known fact that most women prefer taller men. So, being a taller guy will definitely help you get a date. However, I really don't think a woman cares that you're short as long as you're good in bed. You can't make yourself taller, but we can all become better lovers.

I think you're skipping a step there buddy.

 

How would a woman I'm a great lover until after she's slept with me?

My first serious boyfriend was the same height as me, 5'8".

 

 

My husband is the same height as me, 5'8".

 

 

I've dated both tall men and shorter men, but chose to marry a shorter man.

 

 

I would draw the line at a man who was shorter than me, though, as I don't want to be looking down at him.

Eh, I really wouldn't classify 5'8 as a "shorter man."

 

The average non-Hispanic man in the US is 5'10. Two inches shorter than average isn't that much.

[organizedchaos]

Prove me wrong.

 

Hasn't this been covered already ad nauseum?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/343363-consolidated-discussion-man-s-woman-s-height-search-relationships

[KathyM]

Eh, I really wouldn't classify 5'8 as a "shorter man."

 

The average non-Hispanic man in the US is 5'10. Two inches shorter than average isn't that much.

True, shorter than average height, but I'd still consider 5'8" to be average. But my point was that a man doesn't have to be tall to be successful with women.

[Pyro]

I'm not denying that short guys can get women, but it does take a bit more than a good attitude.

 

Believe it or not, I actually have a great attitude when I interact with women, but I don't get anywhere near close to my share of women.

 

BTW how would I even know when I've hit my allotted number of women?

 

Would I get an "Achievement Unlocked: You're Winner!" message?

 

I don't believe that you have a genuine good attitude when you interact with women, but I will leave it at that.

 

You think too much. You need to let loose.