Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[KaliLove]

Has anything new been said in here for a while?

For what its worth I read an article in Esquire that did not surprise me.

Only 4% of heterosexual couples had the female as the taller of the two.

Data was gathered at a college so make of that what you will.

 

So? There are plenty of short women out there who need boyfriends too!! That way us tall girls can take the super tall guys, and the short guys get the shorter girls. Then everybody is happy.

 

There..I just solved the problem. Yay me!!

[Smilecharmer]

I would've went out with Peter Dinklage when I was single.

[R3d]

So? There are plenty of short women out there who need boyfriends too!! That way us tall girls can take the super tall guys, and the short guys get the shorter girls. Then everybody is happy.

 

There..I just solved the problem. Yay me!!

 

Most short girls actually want really tall guys. You think I'd be complaining nearly this much if it was that easy: "just date short girls"?

[somedude81]

Has anything new been said in here for a while?

For what its worth I read an article in Esquire that did not surprise me.

Only 4% of heterosexual couples had the female as the taller of the two.

Data was gathered at a college so make of that what you will.

 

There's a super simple reason for the numbers being that low.

 

There aren't that many men out there who are shorter than the average woman.

 

Despite me only being 5'6, I'm still taller than 90% of women.

 

That means that I'd almost have to go out of my way to meet and attract women who are taller than me.

[KaliLove]

Most short girls actually want really tall guys. You think I'd be complaining nearly this much if it was that easy: "just date short girls"?

 

Yes. Yes I do.

[R3d]

Yes. Yes I do.

 

What? I like short girls...

[KaliLove]

If it wasn't your height, I think you'd find something else to blame it on.

 

I think you need to start taking responsibility for yourself instead of blaming it on things you can't control. You're short? Ok..improve yourself in other ways to make yourself more appealing.

 

Quit making excuses. Work with what you've got.

[somedude81]

Yes. Yes I do.

 

If it wasn't your height, I think you'd find something else to blame it on.

 

I think you need to start taking responsibility for yourself instead of blaming it on things you can't control. You're short? Ok..improve yourself in other ways to make yourself more appealing.

 

Quit making excuses. Work with what you've got.

 

You just don't understand how psychologically damaging it is to do horribly with people of the other gender. Although, I don't think R3D2 knows as well since he's just a kid. Granted, if he keeps going down this road, things will not end well.

 

I am twice his age and I have experienced much anguish.

 

No I don't blame all of my struggles with women on my height, but being short has been a handicap. There is no denying that.

 

When a man is not physically attractive to women, things are so much harder than they should be.

[KaliLove]

You just don't understand how psychologically damaging it is to do horribly with people of the other gender. Although, I don't think R3D2 knows as well since he's just a kid. Granted, if he keeps going down this road, things will not end well.

 

I am twice his age and I have experienced much anguish.

 

No I don't blame all of my struggles with women on my height, but being short has been a handicap. There is no denying that.

 

When a man is not physically attractive to women, things are so much harder than they should be.

 

How do you know that I don't know that??

 

I've never disagreed with you that it's a handicap, but it's not the ONLY reason why you don't do well with women, and there are lots and lots of things you can do to help yourself, but instead you guys choose to just complain about it and blame women for your lack of success (when I say you guys, I mean the short guys on here who complain in general, not you specifically..I actually think your attitude has greatly improved in the past few weeks).

 

I don't think this is the right lesson to be teaching this little kid who hasn't even lived yet. It's not healthy to blame women for the lack of success with women and I feel like that's the direction he's heading in. Instead of turning it into something positive and doing something about it, he's just going to get bitter, which will only perpetuate the cycle of not doing well with women.

Btw, I was a psych major, and I still study it on a regular basis..so I do know plenty about it.

Edited June 21, 2014 by KaliLove

[Weezy1973]

You just don't understand how psychologically damaging it is to do horribly with people of the other gender. Although, I don't think R3D2 knows as well since he's just a kid. Granted, if he keeps going down this road, things will not end well.

 

I am twice his age and I have experienced much anguish.

 

No I don't blame all of my struggles with women on my height, but being short has been a handicap. There is no denying that.

 

When a man is not physically attractive to women, things are so much harder than they should be.

 

Not true at all. Look around - physically unattractive men and women find love and relationships all the time. It's not like there's this horde of ugly single people just hoping to find love while all the good looking people frolic in glee, hand-in-hand.

 

If you actually think this is the case, you are completely mistaken.

[Candy_Pants]

You know what's even more unattractive than shortness?? Being a whiny bitch, not trying to fix what you CAN, and having a "poor me" attitude.

 

I'm sure this has been said before. I've dated/slept with/had relationships with short men. So have plenty of other women.

[R3d]

Actually, I am not blaming women. They can't help it. I blame the existence of evolution.

[somedude81]

How do you know that I don't know that??

It's the impression I was getting from your posts. It's also not directed solely at you as many people seem unable to understand.

 

I've never disagreed with you that it's a handicap, but it's not the ONLY reason why you don't do well with women, and there are lots and lots of things you can do to help yourself, but instead you guys choose to just complain about it and blame women for your lack of success (when I say you guys, I mean the short guys on here who complain in general, not you specifically..

Yes, I know me being short is not the only reason I have struggled with women; I have admitted as much several times.

 

Frankly, height is the easiest thing to complain about. It's basically an accepted fat that women are attracted to tall men, so when a short guy struggles with women, the very first thing he will blame is his height. It's almost a reflex action.

 

I actually think your attitude has greatly improved in the past few weeks).

Thank you, though I believe you think that my attitude has improved is that I have become more careful of what I post here. Though I must admit that my attitude is better overall when I avoid posting negative things.

 

 

 

I don't think this is the right lesson to be teaching this little kid who hasn't even lived yet. It's not healthy to blame women for the lack of success with women and I feel like that's the direction he's heading in. Instead of turning it into something positive and doing something about it, he's just going to get bitter, which will only perpetuate the cycle of not doing well with women.

I agree with you, in fact I don't think he should be on this forum at all. There's no such thing as an honorary member of the bitter Hobbit club.

 

Btw, I was a psych major, and I still study it on a regular basis..so I do know plenty about it.

Interesting. Did you study how doing well with women or not can affect a man's self-esteem?

[somedude81]

Not true at all. Look around - physically unattractive men and women find love and relationships all the time. It's not like there's this horde of ugly single people just hoping to find love while all the good looking people frolic in glee, hand-in-hand.

 

If you actually think this is the case, you are completely mistaken.

Who said anything about ugly people?

 

Either way, you have no idea how many physically unattractive people are single and unhappy. Or how much time they are actually in a relationship and if they are even happy in that relationship.

 

Hell, even I was once happily in a relationship. So sure at one point somebody could have looked at me with my ex and say that I had found love. Little did they know it wasn't going to last.

[Weezy1973]

Interesting. Did you study how doing well with women or not can affect a man's self-esteem?

 

I'm sure if ever there was such an experiment it would find that men with low self-esteem don't do as well with women.

[somedude81]

I'm sure if ever there was such an experiment it would find that men with low self-esteem don't do as well with women.

 

Of course.

 

But it's really a chicken and the egg question.

 

Do those men not do well with women because they have low self-esteem or, do they have low self-esteem because they don't do well with women?

[MidwestUSA]

Of course.

 

But it's really a chicken and the egg question.

 

Do those men not do well with women because they have low self-esteem or, do they have low self-esteem because they don't do well with women?

 

Did your low self esteem predate your interest in women? What were you like as a child?

 

 

(By interest in women, I don't mean the stuff of seven year olds - show me yours, I'll show you mine).

[somedude81]

Did your low self esteem predate your interest in women? What were you like as a child?

In my case it did. I was not a happy child and teenager for various reasons out of my control.

 

Then I had the misfortune of developing bad acne, being very shy, having low-self esteem, a great difficulty in being able to speak clearly and of course I stopped growing when I was 15 and topped out at 5'6.

 

I never had a chance of doing well with girls. And they were mean to me till I was a senior in high school.

 

Add doing poorly with women virtually my entire life, and it just builds and builds.

 

(By interest in women, I don't mean the stuff of seven year olds - show me yours, I'll show you mine).

I never got to play that game

[Bruce Leigh]

The only reason i have these stats at hand is that i considered online dating, did a bit of searching/research and stumbled across them.

I haven't experienced this height nonsense in my 38 years on the planet but if i went the OLD route i would no doubt find myself in similar shoes as to what my fellow shorties are experiencing now.

I seriously had no idea about this height thing until i looked into online dating.

The only person who truly loved me was a 5'10 redhead with great legs. And she looked fantastic in her biggest heels.

We both enjoyed some of the puzzled looks we got from some people

But i ****** it up

 

To keep the discussion a little closer to the thread title, generally women want their men to be 8 inches taller and yet men generally want their women to be 3 inches shorter.

This mismatch of preferences doesn't make things any easier

[somedude81]

 

To keep the discussion a little closer to the thread title, generally women want their men to be 8 inches taller and yet men generally want their women to be 3 inches shorter.

This mismatch of preferences doesn't make things any easier

 

Interesting, I've never heard of those preferences.

 

Three inches shorter than me would put a girl at 5'3, which I feel is perfect.

 

Though a girl who is 8 inches shorter would be 4'10. That's just a really short girl.

 

BTW, if a woman is average height and 5'4, wanting a guy who is 8 inches taller, would be a guy who is 5'10 and also average height.

[CrystalCastles]

There are many women to whom height is really not important.

 

I am a 5'11/6'0 woman. I'm seeing a guy who is 5'5/5'6. He is just out-of-this-world amazing. I would not trade him for anyone else. Height not something I've ever considered when picking out a man. I've dated men several inches shorter than me in the past.

[Glinda.Good]

Interesting. Did you study how doing well with women or not can affect a man's self-esteem?

 

Social issues are ALWAYS hurtful to a person's self esteem. That is why every PERSON (doesn't matter what gender) needs to take responsibility for their own self esteem. It is not appropriate for any ADULT to be depending on approval from other people to feel okay about themselves. That needs to come from pride in oneself and self respect.

 

Instead of worrying about height, why not concentrate on something a person can do something about.

Edited June 21, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Smilecharmer]

You just don't understand how psychologically damaging it is to do horribly with people of the other gender. Although, I don't think R3D2 knows as well since he's just a kid. Granted, if he keeps going down this road, things will not end well.

 

I am twice his age and I have experienced much anguish.

 

No I don't blame all of my struggles with women on my height, but being short has been a handicap. There is no denying that.

 

When a man is not physically attractive to women, things are so much harder than they should be.

 

 

The reason you have issues with women is partly to do with you thinking women need to make you happy, instead of finding happiness inside of yourself. I have dated shorter men, no big deal. Height is such a small thing to most of my friends. Most are married to men who are same height or shorter. One is three inches shorter and they are having their twins next month...he is a great man and no one notices his height because he is so charming and sweet.

 

You guys blame your insecurities on women and yet, women don't have responsibility for your self esteem. Plenty of ugly, poor, unattractive, short men are married. I see it every single day. In fact most men aren't tall or rich or handsome and they still manage to get gfs and lovers and wives.

 

Shortness doesn't hold back men except in professional basketball.

[jay1983]

In my case it did. I was not a happy child and teenager for various reasons out of my control.

 

Then I had the misfortune of developing bad acne, being very shy, having low-self esteem, a great difficulty in being able to speak clearly and of course I stopped growing when I was 15 and topped out at 5'6.

 

I never had a chance of doing well with girls. And they were mean to me till I was a senior in high school.

 

Add doing poorly with women virtually my entire life, and it just builds and builds.

 

 

I never got to play that game

 

So you go to the gym? If you can get buffed up, I think you'll do more than make up for your height in the looks.

 

If you were swole, I think chicks will look at you and say "he's short, but he's hot" I'm not saying that to boost your self esteem, I'm saying that because I really believe that.

[somedude81]

The reason you have issues with women is partly to do with you thinking women need to make you happy, instead of finding happiness inside of yourself.

Heh, this coming from a woman who has an avatar of a smiley face holding a flower

 

 

I have dated shorter men, no big deal. Height is such a small thing to most of my friends. Most are married to men who are same height or shorter. One is three inches shorter and they are having their twins next month...he is a great man and no one notices his height because he is so charming and sweet.

That's really cool.

 

Yes I know that some women out there are less superficial than others. I just need to meet them when they are available and get them to date me.