Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[michellew]

Only 14.5% of men in the USA are 6' or taller. You're basically telling 85% of the men in the world to get lost, partially because you like to wear a certain type of shoe.

 

5'10"+ is okay; it's not like I'm going to bust out a ruler to get an exact measurement. Like I said before, I just don't want to tower over someone.

 

And for the record, I'm not the only one that likes the heels; many men prefer a woman in heels every now and then. Don't you?

[michellew]

Ironically I joined tinder because I thought my height was holding me back and figured I didn't have to list it on there.well I was on for a few months liked a few hundred women and didn't get one like back.

 

Good news was it wasn't only my height holding me back bad news was it's my ugly face lol I had my insecurities about my looks and attracting women before tinder and joining tinder was the nail in my coffin in aggressively going after women I'm now back in my shell

 

I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe you aren't selecting the right photos. I was talking to a good looking guy in person the other day and I was surprised when he told me he never got any matches on tinder. I asked to see his profile and I immediately realized the problem was his photos. He's attractive but is either unphotogenic or chose bad pictures. Come back out of your shell!

[AD1980]

I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe you aren't selecting the right photos. I was talking to a good looking guy in person the other day and I was surprised when he told me he never got any matches on tinder. I asked to see his profile and I immediately realized the problem was his photos. He's attractive but is either unphotogenic or chose bad pictures. Come back out of your shell!

 

I mean I don't have any great photos or anything I think I look ugly in most but the few I put I thought made me look better then I actually am

[lollipopspot]

Girl puts on shoes that make her appear taller, and suddenly, every guy that's 5'9 to 5'10 is no longer attractive to her...

 

I don't think they're "suddenly...no longer" attractive to her. They never were attractive to her.

 

Only 14.5% of men in the USA are 6' or taller. You're basically telling 85% of the men in the world to get lost

 

It seems that "More than two-thirds (68.8 percent) of adults are considered to be overweight or obese."

WIN - Statistics

Lots of guys say outright they don't want overweight women. I guess they're telling about 70% of women to get lost. It happens.

 

As for bald guys wanting a woman with hair. lol seriously, where are the masses of bald women for them.

 

There are actually lots of women who have hair loss and a lot of grief from it. That's why the wig and fake hair industry is so large. You rarely see women without full hair because they generally hide the loss with fake hair or avoid going out because it's socially unacceptable to have hair loss as a woman. If women with hair loss didn't cover it up, it's doubtful they'd be seen as very desirable.

 

Ironically I joined tinder because I thought my height was holding me back and figured I didn't have to list it on there.well I was on for a few months liked a few hundred women and didn't get one like back.

 

That's not a bad way for a man to confirm for himself that it is not primarily his height that is holding him back.

 

I don't share OP's preference. I don't care about height, and most women will probably overlook it too, if they feel attraction to the guy.

[jay1983]

After talking some, just ask them. Make it your problem. So I'm 5'11". How tall are you?

 

I'm 5'11" too. You know exactly that happened once. Lol

[jay1983]

I think to solve this problem, guys should start wearing heels themselves. That way, the next time a 5'6 girl with her 3" heels asks about our height, we can say that we are 5'8 with 4 inch heels, so it works out.

 

This is too damn funny

[jay1983]

Then you should be willing to date any man who is 5'8 as long as he wears platform shoes (or heels) when you wear your heels.

 

I want the kind with gold fish in them.

[daisydook]

Just come right out and ask him his height. Tell him that you don't date shorter guys. I just hope the ladies don't get upset if guys start asking your weight.

 

I don't have a problem with this. Ask me what I weigh, because you bet your butt I am asking if it is not apparent in your pictures! Lol. I may be the only female ok with this, but I'm fine with it. My pictures also clearly depict my size when I have used online dating. You can clearly tell that I am short and little. I usually try to have a full length body/face pic, a close up pic with my hair straight and then a close up with my hair curly/wavy. I wear my hair both ways, so I try to keep pictures of me that are up to date.

 

I dont see why there is such a big issue about asking how tall someone is. To me, this is like asking if you like coffee. It isn't offensive, or it shouldn't be. Maybe it is because I am very ok with being 5'4'' and 120lbs? I do not care if that "right" for everyone, but it is a right for enough people.

 

I am not attracted to men who are a foot taller than me. Lol. I like men who are shorter and have meat on their bones. I would much rather ask and hear they are 200lbs and 5'10'', than 175lbs and 6'4''. I really dislike all things with tall men. Lol. They may be cute to look at but everything is awkward because I am so much shorter. Shower sex doesnt work well, cuddling doesnt work as well, you have to jump or tippy toe to kiss him, holding hands is difficult... just to name a few. Just not interested in tall men. It isnt a preference I have. Lol.

[ascendotum]

What's the big problem with preferences, anyway? Everybody has 'em.

 

I agree in principle. I have preferences and everybody does. It depends on the nature of them I guess. I have a thing for slim build redheads. I don't exclude all other women as potentials however. The woman I am dating is not like that and I am not unhappy relationship because I 'had to settle'. It depends on how much the bias (loss of prospects) there is in 'your' dating market because of the opposite sexes preference. If your market is already limited say because of height/weight then having men/women who have the same attribute discriminate against you lowers your prospects even more.

 

If it was just older low income men that preferred younger women for a LTR, that wouldn't phase older single women greatly. If its across the board and especially with older higher income men, then they hate that preference. It wipes out a lot of their market, even for those that do well in life. Telling them hey its okay its just preferences is not going to make them feel better for it.

[Smilecharmer]

Sex is generally better with a shorter, more petite girl.

 

First sensible thing I have read in this thread. Hip hip hooray for us shorties.

[Anela]

Then you should be willing to date any man who is 5'8 as long as he wears platform shoes (or heels) when you wear your heels.

 

*Should* be? Then you *should* be willing to date an overweight woman who is attracted to short men. Or an older woman, same reason.

 

I love how I read all of these rules for how/whom women should date, but you don't like it being turned around on you (the collective "you" when it comes to certain men).

[Anela]

 

Do you also find it hilarious that many bald men prefer to date women with hair?

 

How dare they?

 

:laugh:

[Mascara]

Firstly - Women say the whole "with my heels" thing because it's a polite way of saying "I'm only attracted to tall men". It's like when men say they like slim women only because they want someone healthy. Stop getting hung up on how ridiculous you find the reasoning of the heels thing, that's not the real reason. The real reason is just a preference for tall men.

 

Secondly, this notion that only tall men get the girls is absurd. If that was the case, shorter men would be extinct by now. But the average is still around 5'8 to 5'10

[isisisweeping]

*Should* be? Then you *should* be willing to date an overweight woman who is attracted to short men. Or an older woman, same reason.

 

I love how I read all of these rules for how/whom women should date, but you don't like it being turned around on you (the collective "you" when it comes to certain men).

 

Yes.

 

 

No one SHOULD date or should not date, conversely, anyone except who they want to date based on whatever standards they have. I don't want a person to date me because I'm the best they can do, for sure.

 

 

My major relationships have been with tall guys (6'1.5, 6'4, 6'5), though because I could care less about height- especially being only 5'3 and only wearing heels on special occasions - it's mainly coincidence of who they are and the fact they were attracted to me. I have been a little turned off by guys almost universally lying about height on online dating. I don't say anything but it reeks of insecurity and a flexible relationship with the truth.

A short guy who claims a woman should have to date him for some reason and not have a preference would be most disgusting of all, though.

 

 

A man does not have to date an overweight woman, or a short woman, or a tall woman, or a friggin blond woman if he doesn't want to... even if he is any of these things. Same goes for women. Absolutely. Sure, you can mock them if they incessantly complain about not being able to find someone with their standards so arbitrary, but if they can or cannot and don't complain, just get over it.

[isisisweeping]

I don't have a problem with this. Ask me what I weigh, because you bet your butt I am asking if it is not apparent in your pictures! Lol.

 

I was sure to make it abundantly clear what I look like in my photos - even choosing some less flattering shots than I had. My friends scolded me for it - said to put my best foot forward because I'm being judged against other people doing that- but I'd HATE for anyone to meet me and be disappointed. I'd rather they be pleasantly surprise.

 

 

Still, I'd hate for them to ask my weight because my weight is a lot higher than you would guess looking at me. I always fool those weight guessers at the theme parks and carnivals, by a lot. I usually get accused of lying and exaggerating when I say my weight, as if any woman would lie to increase their weight. I'd prefer they ask my size.

[Candy_Pants]

Wearing heels is definitely a lie. Women wear heels partially because it makes their legs look better. Her legs don't normally look that good, only when she has heels on.

 

When a woman is 5'8, puts on some 3 inch heels to appear 5'11 then alters her dating criteria based on her new height, something is wrong.

 

I don't alter my criteria based on shoes. I always prefer men 6' or taller. I could wear 10" heels and still be shorter!!!

 

But just because that's my preference doesn't mean I've only dated men that tall or taller. I think my shortest was 5'5". Unless you count the two men in wheelchairs. They never cared that I towered over them in heels .

[PJKino]

I love how short men are always compared to ugly or very large women as if women are lenient with ugly or fat guys and short is the only physical trait they judge

[Pyro]

Wearing heels is definitely a lie. Women wear heels partially because it makes their legs look better. Her legs don't normally look that good, only when she has heels on.

 

When a woman is 5'8, puts on some 3 inch heels to appear 5'11 then alters her dating criteria based on her new height, something is wrong.

 

:lmao:

[Anela]

 

A man does not have to date an overweight woman, or a short woman, or a tall woman, or a friggin blond woman if he doesn't want to... even if he is any of these things. Same goes for women. Absolutely. Sure, you can mock them if they incessantly complain about not being able to find someone with their standards so arbitrary, but if they can or cannot and don't complain, just get over it.

 

I was just giving him an example; not telling him what to do.

When it comes to comments about women over a certain age, I will continue to counter those comments as I feel the need to.

[Anela]

I love how short men are always compared to ugly or very large women as if women are lenient with ugly or fat guys and short is the only physical trait they judge

 

And what if we don't judge you for being short? My father is short, and was married to two different women. My mother re-married him, and is still with him. She once told me that she knew he was *the* man for her.

[R3d]

And what if we don't judge you for being short? My father is short, and was married to two different women. My mother re-married him, and is still with him. She once told me that she knew he was *the* man for her.

 

Short as in legit short or "Oh he's only 5'9," short?

 

You guys as well as a lot of other people on other forums have given me so many examples of short guys doing really well. I mean once I even heard that there was this 5'3 Asian dude in college with whom all the women there were obsessed with and then there was this 5'4, bald, fat, and some other things that had no problem getting girlfriends.

 

How do they do it?

[hasaquestion]

Short as in legit short or "Oh he's only 5'9," short?

 

You guys as well as a lot of other people on other forums have given me so many examples of short guys doing really well. I mean once I even heard that there was this 5'3 Asian dude in college with whom all the women there were obsessed with and then there was this 5'4, bald, fat, and some other things that had no problem getting girlfriends.

 

How do they do it?

 

Geez you make it sound like the act of being 5'4" and having a girlfriend makes you some kind of Norse legend. like this guy climbed up Niagara Falls with his bear hands, killed a tyrannosaurs with a broadsword, and was sworn boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

People make it sound like being attractive is some kind of grand mystery, its not. Work out, look fly, be outgoing, be good at the things you do (serious stuff and games), and have some fun in the process. Its not rocket science.

[Anela]

Short as in legit short or "Oh he's only 5'9," short?

 

You guys as well as a lot of other people on other forums have given me so many examples of short guys doing really well. I mean once I even heard that there was this 5'3 Asian dude in college with whom all the women there were obsessed with and then there was this 5'4, bald, fat, and some other things that had no problem getting girlfriends.

 

How do they do it?

 

They didn't think of their height as a problem?

[organizedchaos]

Short as in legit short or "Oh he's only 5'9," short?

 

You guys as well as a lot of other people on other forums have given me so many examples of short guys doing really well. I mean once I even heard that there was this 5'3 Asian dude in college with whom all the women there were obsessed with and then there was this 5'4, bald, fat, and some other things that had no problem getting girlfriends.

 

How do they do it?

 

They weren't obsessing about their height on Internet forums.

[R3d]

Geez you make it sound like the act of being 5'4" and having a girlfriend makes you some kind of Norse legend. like this guy climbed up Niagara Falls with his bear hands, killed a tyrannosaurs with a broadsword, and was sworn boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Well it is quite impressive, especially if you are having no problems attracting women at that height. Like I could see being able to have a satisfactory dating life even at that height, but being a stud? That does seem legendary.

 

This reminds me of a story I read a few months ago:

 

I worked with a guy who was well known on the job for being a real "playa". There were many guys there (over 100) but then we started getting temporary female workers who would work a few days at a time. Some stayed just a few days, others a few months. Of course all the guys went crazy always trying to talk to all the hot new girls who came through the workplace. But one guy there was by far the most successful of all. He always got the hottest, cutest girls. And they quickly fell for him. Some head over heels.

 

The fellas joked about it but we just didn't get it. This guy was the shortest guy in the workplace. Just from 5'2" to 5'4" at the most. But over the years I saw him with the hottest girls of all and eventually when he got married it was to a supremely beautiful and sweet woman who any guy would want.

 

Whenever anyone asked him how he did it and what his secret was he would just avoid the discussion and say "Nothing. I just get to know them. I usually don't even hit on these women ...and if I do they don't even realize it. A lot of times the women get impatient and ask me to take them out after work or make the first move."

 

He also said something I'll never forget. "Most guys don't know how to be a woman's friend. I do. That's the only secret I have." He no longer works here but I never forgot what he said and I've tried to be more like him.

 

Still not sure how he did it but the women fell for him quickly and I've seen this little guy with models and he's dated all types of women from black, white, latino, asian, poor and rich girls. Girls much younger and girls older than him. Short girls and even very tall girls. I mean 6' in heels and they were crazy about him.

 

Ever known a guy like this? What gives here? There's gotta be more to it than this. And NO he had no more money than anyone else and was definitely not generous with it. In fact women would spend their money on him and cook lunch and bring it to work for him. I really wish I could find this guy and learn his secrets. Anyone have any ideas how he could do this?

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100401162602AAy98zy

 

Wow...the last paragraph especially striked me as shocking.