Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[sillyanswer]

Damn right there is something wrong with being excluded because of my height!

 

What form of restitution would you like?

 

I didn't choose to be short! If I could do anything to get taller, I would have done it already!

 

I get that, but since it seems that you can't change it perhaps you have to work with what you've got. Look for women who are attracted to whatever it is that you do have rather than railing against those who don't like you for what you're lacking.

[somedude81]

What form of restitution would you like?

 

Virgins.

 

With big boobs.

 

 

I get that, but since it seems that you can't change it perhaps you have to work with what you've got. Look for women who are attracted to whatever it is that you do have rather than railing against those who don't like you for what you're lacking.

 

I can look for women who are attracted to what I have, and rail against those who don't like me. As long as I don't mix those two up I'm fine.

[BlueIris]

The issue isn't height. Personality and character rule.

 

I'm willing to bet that most women seeking a long term relationship care FAR LESS about height than about character and personality. I've dated short and tall and it didn't matter to me. Same with my friends and family. However, if a woman is looking for a fun fling, I think physical attributes are more important.

[Imajerk17]

Virgins.

 

With big boobs.

 

 

Hey doesn't this go against your diatribe about how "unfair" it is that women are passing you over due to your height. I wonder how a woman who wasn't born with big breasts who is getting passed over would feel reading this. (Yes I get that you would date a small-chested woman but you have stated over and over again that you would prefer a bustier girl. Saying you would settle for a something because you can't get what you really want doesn't quite count. It doesn't make a woman feel special either ya know?)

[Eivuwan]

OH MY GOD.

 

This is written by a man in his mid 30's who only wants to date women under 23.

 

I just cannot ...

 

Somedude, is this true? Because if it is, then it's pretty funny that you're complaining about women's preferences over height. loll

[somedude81]

Hey doesn't this go against your diatribe about how "unfair" it is that women are passing you over due to your height. I wonder how a woman who wasn't born with big breasts who is getting passed over would feel reading this. (Yes I get that you would date a small-chested woman but you have stated over and over again that you would prefer a bustier girl. Saying you would settle for a something because you can't get what you really want doesn't quite count. It doesn't make a woman feel special either ya know?)

 

I seriously hope you don't think I was serious.

 

Somedude, is this true? Because if it is, then it's pretty funny that you're complaining about women's preferences over height. loll

 

It's not. Glinda is one of those posters who looks for any way she can to attack me.

[KaliLove]

Hey short dudes...

 

You don't like being discriminated against because of your height? Guess what? TOUGH TITTIES! You don't have a say in the matter and you never, ever, ever will. And you know what? That's ok! Because you have just as much right to have a 'type' as everyone else does. You're allowed to turn women down because you don't like the way they look/act/speak/think/etc too!

 

Everyone has a right to want whatever they want. Doesn't mean that they'll necessarily get it..but if they're ok with that and they would rather be alone and reject someone because that person doesn't meet their qualifications, they have every right to do so.

 

Again..I cannot believe this thread is still happening...

[sillyanswer]

Virgins.

 

With big boobs.

 

Go get 'em, tiger.

[BlueIris]

I seriously hope you don't think I was serious.

 

It's not. Glinda is one of those posters who looks for any way she can to attack me.

 

SD, don't try to play the victim. You're not a victim any more than anyone else is.

 

What we say reflects what we think and feel. Saying it was just a joke is a way of trying to avoid responsibility, which only compounds the problem.

 

But if you insist that it is your height that is the impediment to your success in relationships, there's not much anyone can do to change your thinking. Maybe you find comfort in that because it can't be changed, so it's easier. It would be like my blaming my age. It can't be changed, so I have an out.

[somedude81]

SD, don't try to play the victim. You're not a victim any more than anyone else is.

 

What we say reflects what we think and feel. Saying it was just a joke is a way of trying to avoid responsibility, which only compounds the problem.

 

Of course it was a joke. Why is nobody getting on my case about the fact that I said I wanted virgins?

 

But if you insist that it is your height that is the impediment to your success in relationships, there's not much anyone can do to change your thinking. Maybe you find comfort in that because it can't be changed, so it's easier. It would be like my blaming my age. It can't be changed, so I have an out.

 

Of course my height is an impediment to my success with dating. Women are attracted to tall men. There is no denying that. I'm four inches shorter than average. That has significantly hurt me.

 

All I want is people to admit that I have it harder because of my height. Instead I'm constantly being challenged as if my life experiences don't matter. For God's sake I got my first girlfriend at 31.

[Eivuwan]

Of course it was a joke. Why is nobody getting on my case about the fact that I said I wanted virgins?

 

 

 

Of course my height is an impediment to my success with dating. Women are attracted to tall men. There is no denying that. I'm four inches shorter than average. That has significantly hurt me.

 

All I want is people to admit that I have it harder because of my height. Instead I'm constantly being challenged as if my life experiences don't matter. For God's sake I got my first girlfriend at 31.

 

I don't know if you really have it harder because of your height. All of my ex-bfs are shorter than you. One is 5' 4" and one is 5' 3". I wonder if you are just chasing after the wrong girls.

[Imajerk17]

Of course it was a joke. Why is nobody getting on my case about the fact that I said I wanted virgins?

 

Because you have expressed your preferences for busty girls many a time previously (which is your prerogative), while whenever a woman expressed her preference for a taller guy--even in an off-hand manner, you got upset. Your hypocrisy of thinking women are "unfair" for passing you over for your height, while you'd pass over a small-chested woman (if you actually had the options to do so that is--you have mentioned your own desperation and so right now you'd take what you can get) is being called out. That is what is happening.

 

 

 

Of course my height is an impediment to my success with dating. Women are attracted to tall men. There is no denying that. I'm four inches shorter than average. That has significantly hurt me.

 

All I want is people to admit that I have it harder because of my height. Instead I'm constantly being challenged as if my life experiences don't matter. For God's sake I got my first girlfriend at 31.

 

See I think the premise that your height is an impediment to your dating success is false, so no, I am not going to admit this. I am your height and I went from struggling to "good with women" (whatever that means) and I am nothing special.

 

Meanwhile, I discovered that might height had hardly anything to do with my dating success. I know plenty of other guys who are even shorter than I am who have done quite well for themselves. Again they aren't "anything special".

 

You blame your struggles on your height but from your posts on here I think that you don't really get how you are coming across to others. Not only here but in your "real" life. I can give you specific examples. I'm not picking on you because this is all stuff you can change.

Edited August 10, 2014 by Imajerk17

[Eivuwan]

Well, somedude, be honest. Would you prioritize physical things if you can get away with it? If you would, it is hypocritical to get upset at others for their physical preferences.

[Weezy1973]

I'm wondering what the endgame for SD and the other short guy complainers is? Do you want to force women to date you even though they're not attracted to you? What a horrible thought! Might as well just pay for prostitutes then...

 

And really, why spend any time whatsoever worrying or complaining about women that aren't attracted to you because of something you can't control?

 

I'm not religious but I'm pretty sure there's some sort of serenity prayer out there...you should let it be your mantra...

[somedude81]

I'm wondering what the endgame for SD and the other short guy complainers is?

The end game?

 

I'm going to have a beautiful, intelligent, loving wife.

 

Hopefully she'll have big boobs.

[Eivuwan]

The end game?

 

I'm going to have a beautiful, intelligent, loving wife.

 

Hopefully she'll have big boobs.

 

The end game?

 

I'm going to have a handsome, intelligent, loving husband.

 

Hopefully he'll be six feet or taller.

 

^ Does that offend you?

[somedude81]

The end game?

 

I'm going to have a handsome, intelligent, loving husband.

 

Hopefully he'll be six feet or taller.

 

^ Does that offend you?

 

Depends on how big your boobs are

 

No, I'm not offended.

 

But if you did said, "He must be six feet or taller," I'd be annoyed. Nothing more.

[Imajerk17]

I definitely don't believe you'd be merely annoyed and not offended. Exhibit A:

 

Damn right there is something wrong with being excluded because of my height! I didn't choose to be short! If I could do anything to get taller, I would have done it already!

 

Post #1859 on this thread. Your very words <6 hours before the typing of this post.

 

Its cool man. You are allowed to have your physical preferences, and women are allowed to have theirs. (Although I maintain that height really isn't that big a deal to many women.) Just stop whining and playing victim because *that* is unattractive.

Edited August 10, 2014 by Imajerk17

[Anela]

Of course your height makes it harder. It's not in a woman's nature to be all that honest about such things.

 

Would you guys please stop speaking for women?

 

Thanks.

[BlueIris]

And it would be a really good idea for you to quit writing about what women "should" or "shouldn't" be doing. It's offensive.

 

Glinda, Glinda, Glinda....

 

Offensiveness is not important. Height is, doggone it!

 

Love,

Elphaba

[KaliLove]

My name is Kalilove. I'm tall and I like tall guys who have pudgy bellies.

 

*prepares to be chastised*

[KaliLove]

Nowhere in my post did I say that there is anything wrong with a woman letting guys down easily by avoiding honest answers while rejecting someone. I don't really care why someone rejects me, since the rejection itself is really all that matters. I would just move on.

 

 

 

Actually, I do know. There is another thread going on right this moment about women not letting people know why they are rejecting them. On that thread, pretty much everyone agrees that a guy won't get an honest answer, even the ladies.

 

I will speak for women again, when I say that some of you girls just like to be argumentative. I've noticed that theme with your posts.

 

Because if there's a thread about it on Loveshack, it must be true!!!

[Woggle]

People have the right to whatever standards they want but if somebody believes that they will forever be a lonely virgin because of something they can do nothing whatsoever to change of course it's going to leave a bitter taste in their mouth. People are only human and being a pariah in the dating world hurts.

[somedude81]

Of course your height makes it harder. It's not in a woman's nature to be all that honest about such things. Most women will say more subtle things like, there is no spark, you aren't their type, or they aren't ready for a relationship. Very few women will come out and tell you they wouldn't date you because you're too short.

 

Yup, I know that very well. Very few women are crass enough to come out and say that I'm too short. Heck most won't give a reason at all and just do the fade.

 

I think the bigger issue here is why you care so much. Sure, there will be plenty of women who will turn you down because you're short. So what? There will also be women who will go out with you anyway, regardless of your height.

 

I care because I've been struggling with women my whole life. I've only kissed two girls and didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31, and that relationship only lasted six months. How can I not care?

 

I have a friend who is your height, and while he doesn't exactly get a lot of women, he's done much better than you. He's also an Asian guy, which is another strike against him. While your height is definitely hindering you, your attitude is doing most of the damage.

 

Nobody here knows me in person so saying my attitude is hurting me just isn't accurate.

 

There are two major reasons why I've had so much trouble with women.

 

I'm short.

 

And I really suck with flirting. If I was better at flirting, and took more risks, I'd probably do much better. But at least that is one thing I can change, and am working on.

[EngnimaticResponse]

The whole problem with the, "Can't date a guy who is the same height as me in heels" is that as a 5'6 man, the average woman is my height or taller when she's in heels.

 

There is absolutely no way that I'm going to limit myself to women who are 5'2 (barefoot) or shorter.

 

Who says you need to limit yourself? As I have said before, earlier in this thread I think, I am only 5' 3'' and all my dates have been taller by at least an inch.