Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[EngnimaticResponse]

That's exactly what I do. I don't let a woman's height sway me from pursuing her unless she's several inches taller than me (not in heels).

 

I refuse to rule out 70% of women simply because God decided to make me short.

 

I've hit on women around the 6' mark. Not in heals. So?

[johan]

Nobody here knows me in person so saying my attitude is hurting me just isn't accurate.

 

Do your posts on LS not reflect your attitude?

 

Height matters, but it isn't everything. It isn't a deal breaker with the majority of women.

 

Look at a picture of soldiers. Scan across it and assess each guy. Do see any who are not men? Or some who are more manly than others? Some are tall some short, but they are all men, all trained killers. All heroes, depending on your perspective.

 

Height means little. Courage and fortitude and a sense of purpose in life are what attracts people. If you can get respect from yourself, you can get it from pretty much anyone. And when people respect you, women notice you.

[organizedchaos]

Yup, I know that very well. Very few women are crass enough to come out and say that I'm too short. Heck most won't give a reason at all and just do the fade.

 

 

 

I care because I've been struggling with women my whole life. I've only kissed two girls and didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31, and that relationship only lasted six months. How can I not care?

 

 

 

Nobody here knows me in person so saying my attitude is hurting me just isn't accurate.

 

There are two major reasons why I've had so much trouble with women.

 

I'm short.

 

And I really suck with flirting. If I was better at flirting, and took more risks, I'd probably do much better. But at least that is one thing I can change, and am working on.

 

After 16k+ posts and 6 years, I'm sure people have a pretty good idea. Even after nearly a year I know all I need to know.

 

Your height and flirting are not your problem. It's not even your looks that are the problem.

 

And after ALL of the advice you've been given over the years, don't you dare ask what your problems are.

[KaliLove]

Went to the grocery store at lunch today. The married couple in front of me in line was in the middle of a very sloppy make out session. The guy was a good 3-5 inches shorter than the girl (who was heavily pregnant).

 

That dude must not have gotten the message that short guys can't get dates...

[somedude81]

Went to the grocery store at lunch today. The married couple in front of me in line was in the middle of a very sloppy make out session. The guy was a good 3-5 inches shorter than the girl (who was heavily pregnant).

 

That dude must not have gotten the message that short guys can't get dates...

 

I think the woman didn't know that she wasn't allowed to date short guys.

 

Imagine the glares from other women that must fallow her around

[Lonelyyou]

Being short sucks but there are far worse things out there.

 

You still have your health. Be grateful for that. Sounds cliche but its true.

 

Secondly, you just have to man up and accept you are short. I am 28 and only 167cm (probably shorter since i measured in the morning lol). Nothing is perfect. If i am upset about my height, why not also be upset about not being born into a millionaire family? Why not be upset about not having a smarter brain?

 

If i die alone cos of my height, then too bad. Life goes on. Ill be upset but i am only one guy in this world.

[R3d]

Look, one reason why your age is significant here is that you're talking about the influence that a girl's friends might have over her choices. Frankly, that diminishes greatly with age. (Yes, haters, it does.) Middle school is actually the peak of friend influence (look it up), and it's still a big deal in high school for many, but as you get older and they get older it becomes less and less of a factor.

 

Friend influence is actually one of the things I am most worried about because it seems much more apparent in girls. I might be able to get girls interested in me and get them to overlook their lack of physical attraction to me personally, but her friends since they won't know me will look at me at a superficial level and tell her that she can do better and all that.

 

And I am not sure how long it will take for this friend influence factor to decrease especially after reading this story where it happened to a MAN in his THIRTIES: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/489767-giving-someone-chance

 

Part of the reason is that I have always been around the bottom of the barrel in social status and have kind of been mocked because of it over the grade school years.

Edited August 22, 2014 by R3d

[Candy_Pants]

My first real boyfriend, the man I gave my virginity to, was "short". Didn't bother me a bit. Before him I'd dated only very tall athletes.

 

The most unattractive thing about my short ex was his obsession with height. Slowly I watched it bleed into other areas and soon he had convinced himself he was ugly/stupid/untalented/unwanted because he was short....

 

He changed based on one belief. That his height wasn't good enough.

[irc333]

There was this one woman on POF, was under 5 feet tall, she said "If you're under 200 lbs, you're too skinny for me!" Also had the 6 feet rule. She said in her past 25 years she never dated anyone under 225, so it looks like she has some wiggle room there.

 

But at a petite , under 5 feet frame, ANY man would be big to her. I guess she doesn't fear a man rolling over on her and crushing her. lol

[Candy_Pants]

There was this one woman on POF, was under 5 feet tall, she said "If you're under 200 lbs, you're too skinny for me!" Also had the 6 feet rule. She said in her past 25 years she never dated anyone under 225, so it looks like she has some wiggle room there.

 

But at a petite , under 5 feet frame, ANY man would be big to her. I guess she doesn't fear a man rolling over on her and crushing her. lol

 

I'm 5'1". My husband is 6'2.5".

 

I like 'um real big too.

[thefooloftheyear]

There was this one woman on POF, was under 5 feet tall, she said "If you're under 200 lbs, you're too skinny for me!" Also had the 6 feet rule. She said in her past 25 years she never dated anyone under 225, so it looks like she has some wiggle room there.

 

But at a petite , under 5 feet frame, ANY man would be big to her. I guess she doesn't fear a man rolling over on her and crushing her. lol

 

Yeah...That is kinda weird....But I wouldnt take it too seriously...Its hostorically been my experience with women that these so called "deal breakers" arent really about anything other than idle chatter....They meet a desireable shorter guy and they'll oftentimes throw that out the window..

 

I am sure its been said earlier, but it does puzzle me how a guy cant say something like "If you dont have a flat stomach, or wear a size 4 or less, then dont bother"...Thats insensitive...but its completely OK for a woman to say a guy has to be "x" height or else...that is somehow ok, then? Huh?

 

Im thrilled to be pretty short...Never had an issue with it, and neither have any women I have met/dated....and I have been pretty fortunate there...

 

Id much rather be short, than broke, stupid, talentless, ignorant, etc..any day of the week.....If I need a ladder on occasion, fine...I got more than one...quite frankly other than that, there is NO other advantage....I dont care what anyone says..

 

TFY

[somedude81]

My attitude is nowhere near as harsh as that.

 

I'm not attracted to overweight women. There's nothing else to say beyond that.

 

What I find really funny, is that people are constantly trying to convince men to "get to know" overweight women, yet nobody is trying to convince women to get to know short men.

[Anela]

My attitude is nowhere near as harsh as that.

 

I'm not attracted to overweight women. There's nothing else to say beyond that.

 

What I find really funny, is that people are constantly trying to convince men to "get to know" overweight women, yet nobody is trying to convince women to get to know short men.

 

Maybe because most women have no issue with getting to know short men.

[thefooloftheyear]

@TFY preferences are fine. If a guy wants a girl with a flat stomach, or red hair, or no tattoos, that's fine. Just means I'm not the girl for them.

 

 

Aww....shucks!...

[Imajerk17]

My attitude is nowhere near as harsh as that.

 

I'm not attracted to overweight women. There's nothing else to say beyond that.

 

What I find really funny, is that people are constantly trying to convince men to "get to know" overweight women, yet nobody is trying to convince women to get to know short men.

Women don't need convincing somedude. I am your height and I do just fine w women. In fact, I know guys even shorter who do even better.

 

You also have been told by woman after woman posting how they have loved short men but you refuse to see it.

 

Meanwhile people are going to tell you to widen your preferences as *you *were the one complaining about your lack of options and you were expressing your need for a girlfriend now. If a woman was complaining about being dateless she would be given similar advice and be told to give more guys a chance.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Imajerk17

[somedude81]

If a woman was complaining about being dateless she would be given similar advice and be told to give more guys a chance.

 

Never in my entire time on this board, have I seen anybody suggest that a woman who is having trouble with dating should give short guys a chance.

[CrystalCastles]

Never in my entire time on this board, have I seen anybody suggest that a woman who is having trouble with dating should give short guys a chance.

 

The thing is, many women really and honestly don't care if a guy is short or not. I'm 5'11, give or take an inch. I've dated guys 2 - 3 inches shorter than me, and my bf is 5 - 6 inches shorter than me. Do I care? Hell no!

 

Short guys are guys too. Their "shortness" does not make them any less manlier or less attractive than tall guys. Maybe some superficial girls put those kinds of restrictions on their preferences, you can't do anything about that anyway, and why would you want to date a girl who doesn't appreciate how awesome you are because you're 5'4 and not 6'0. These superficial girls are mostly restricted to OLD I think. At least nobody here I know cares about height.

 

You can make yourself attractive in other ways. My boyfriend is a brilliant, gorgeous man. I would have been a complete fool not to get something going with him simply because he doesn't tower over me. He attracted me because he was confident and comfortable in his own skin.

 

I think height is something, SD, that you use as an excuse to justify your dating problems. Plenty of short guys I know have never had problems getting girls. I think you just put way too much importance into dating. You make dating, and women, seem like things that define your worth. At least, that's the impression that I get from your posts.

[irc333]

I'm 5'1". My husband is 6'2.5".

 

I like 'um real big too.

 

Well, birds of a feather flock together

[Candy_Pants]

Well, birds of a feather flock together

 

Wrong. I don't even know the woman you're referring to.

[jay1983]

I took my son to the galleria yesterday. While walking around I noticed a maybe 2 couples where were the lady was bigger than the gent and another couple where a hot chick, almost as tall as me had a short boyfriend. He was swoll though, he's chest bulged out and arms filled the sleeve of his shirt.

 

SD you hittin that gym bud?

[irc333]

Chances are, these women met these shorter guys in real life, not online if this is the case. Real life allows for other things to shine through and you don't become a number that's part of a weeding out process as it is online.

 

 

 

The thing is, many women really and honestly don't care if a guy is short or not. I'm 5'11, give or take an inch. I've dated guys 2 - 3 inches shorter than me, and my bf is 5 - 6 inches shorter than me. Do I care? Hell no!

 

Short guys are guys too. Their "shortness" does not make them any less manlier or less attractive than tall guys. Maybe some superficial girls put those kinds of restrictions on their preferences, you can't do anything about that anyway, and why would you want to date a girl who doesn't appreciate how awesome you are because you're 5'4 and not 6'0. These superficial girls are mostly restricted to OLD I think. At least nobody here I know cares about height.

 

You can make yourself attractive in other ways. My boyfriend is a brilliant, gorgeous man. I would have been a complete fool not to get something going with him simply because he doesn't tower over me. He attracted me because he was confident and comfortable in his own skin.

 

I think height is something, SD, that you use as an excuse to justify your dating problems. Plenty of short guys I know have never had problems getting girls. I think you just put way too much importance into dating. You make dating, and women, seem like things that define your worth. At least, that's the impression that I get from your posts.

[Anela]

Chances are, these women met these shorter guys in real life, not online if this is the case. Real life allows for other things to shine through and you don't become a number that's part of a weeding out process as it is online.

 

Right... I've hit on short men on the online dating sites. Turns out I wasn't young enough for them.

[somedude81]

The thing is, many women really and honestly don't care if a guy is short or not.

 

And many women really do care if a guy is short. My gut says that around 60% of women don't want to date a short guy.

 

I'm 5'11, give or take an inch.

 

Can I have an inch? You certainly don't need it. How 'bout three inches?

 

I've dated guys 2 - 3 inches shorter than me, and my bf is 5 - 6 inches shorter than me. Do I care? Hell no!

 

You are one of minority.

Short guys are guys too. Their "shortness" does not make them any less manlier or less attractive than tall guys. Maybe some superficial girls put those kinds of restrictions on their preferences, you can't do anything about that anyway, and why would you want to date a girl who doesn't appreciate how awesome you are because you're 5'4 and not 6'0.

 

You should start a campaign promoting the dating of short guys. That would be so awesome.

 

These superficial girls are mostly restricted to OLD I think. At least nobody here I know cares about height.

 

Many women have posted here how they don't want to date short guys. One woman even made a thread about the best way to ask guys on Tinder how tall they are.

 

You can make yourself attractive in other ways. My boyfriend is a brilliant, gorgeous man. I would have been a complete fool not to get something going with him simply because he doesn't tower over me. He attracted me because he was confident and comfortable in his own skin.

 

Sadly, I'm not brilliant or gorgeous. I'm trying to various ways to make myself attractive, but success has obviously been limited.

 

I think height is something, SD, that you use as an excuse to justify your dating problems. Plenty of short guys I know have never had problems getting girls.

 

My height is a primary reason why I have dating problems. Another one is being introverted, yet another is having low confidence. It's the combination of those characteristics that makes dating so difficult. If I was just short, but was outgoing and cocky I wouldn't have any trouble with dating. I also feel that if I was taller, 5'10, even with being an introvert, I still would be fine.

 

I think you just put way too much importance into dating. You make dating, and women, seem like things that define your worth. At least, that's the impression that I get from your posts.

 

Imagine your boyfriend dumping you right now, and you being unable to get another boyfriend or even a date for the next ten years no matter how hard you try. Then tell me if I'm putting too much importance in dating and having it define me.

Edited August 23, 2014 by somedude81

[D.Mc.]

OKAY, I'm one of those OLD b***ches who cares about the height thing. In the past 3 days I've gotten messages from guys who ranged from 5'8 to 5'6 (the messages actually appeared in order from the 5'8 down to the 5'6 lol).

 

I still don't have the ovaries to just delete w/out saying "thanks for the compliment", since they all sent me one...but Mother of Toast!, my height preference is IN MY PROFILE!

 

I sent them replies saying thanks blah blah, we are looking for different things. If I put in "don't bother messaging me if you are not 5'10 or over, then my profile is negative & I will get even fewer messages than I get now.

 

I know it's stereotyping shorter men, but really, your confidence level must make up for your physical stature. That's a good trait, but I just can't make the emotional/physical leap to attraction for you all.

 

You may now bring on the hate...

[johan]

OKAY, I'm one of those OLD b***ches who cares about the height thing. In the past 3 days I've gotten messages from guys who ranged from 5'8 to 5'6 (the messages actually appeared in order from the 5'8 down to the 5'6 lol).

 

I still don't have the ovaries to just delete w/out saying "thanks for the compliment", since they all sent me one...but Mother of Toast!, my height preference is IN MY PROFILE!

 

I sent them replies saying thanks blah blah, we are looking for different things. If I put in "don't bother messaging me if you are not 5'10 or over, then my profile is negative & I will get even fewer messages than I get now.

 

I know it's stereotyping shorter men, but really, your confidence level must make up for your physical stature. That's a good trait, but I just can't make the emotional/physical leap to attraction for you all.

 

You may now bring on the hate...

 

But you would date a shorter guy who appealed to you, correct? The height thing is just an initial weeding-out criteria right? Just like the short guys also have preferences that could be labeled superficial, I'd think.