Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[xxoo]

As I mentioned before, I do wonder how the Short Man's Union for Dating (SMUD) feels about those in other groups, who through "no fault" of their own, that have extra challenges in dating...e.g., those who have chronic illnesses or major physical handicaps. I mean the SMUD members are all such (self-proclaimed) Nice Guys surely they have empathy for others...

 

Maybe the perfect solution is to date women with such extra challenges. Win-win!

[R3d]

Would you date a woman with severe acne? How about one who was born missing a limb or three? Or one who was disfigured? How about a woman with third degree burns on her face?.

 

Wow, if there are any people with these physical impairments, I feel really bad for them. How do they date? Is it possible to date with third-degree burns on your face? Just curious.

 

Now feeling short doesn't feel too bad (though I have been feeling less insecure in general lately).

[somedude81]

Wow, if there are any people with these physical impairments, I feel really bad for them. How do they date? Is it possible to date with third-degree burns on your face? Just curious.

 

Now feeling short doesn't feel too bad (though I have been feeling less insecure in general lately).

 

You could always let yourself get badly burned to find out what it's like.

 

(Not recommended!)

[PJKino]

FWIW I've heard more women swear off dating really hot guys ("they're all players") than swear off dating Short Men.....

 

As I mentioned before, I do wonder how the Short Man's Union for Dating (SMUD) feels about those in other groups, who through "no fault" of their own, that have extra challenges in dating...e.g., those who have chronic illnesses or major physical handicaps. I mean the SMUD members are all such (self-proclaimed) Nice Guys surely they have empathy for others...

 

I never claimed to be THAT nice lol

[IndianBabu]

Holy moly. Didn't know that height was such an integral part of a man's ability to date.

 

I am short, and I am Indian. Oh heavans. Its the double whammy. If I were to listen to the male posters on this board, I should have had no hope of ever getting a date. Should have just stuck to making my delicious samosas.

 

 

It's easier to blame your failure on things you have no control over, than it is to improve yourself through hard work and dedication.

[thefooloftheyear]

Wow, if there are any people with these physical impairments, I feel really bad for them. How do they date? Is it possible to date with third-degree burns on your face? Just curious.

 

Now feeling short doesn't feel too bad (though I have been feeling less insecure in general lately).

 

 

There is a guy I know that is paralyzed from the mid chest down....

 

He dates...Normal and healthy women..

 

Yes, I am dead serious..

 

TFY

[R3d]

That's why I was complaining before IndianBabu, for being short and Indian and it being a double whammy.

 

But I guess as has been said many times, there's nothing I can do except maximize in other aspects of myself and keep putting myself out there until a girl is willing to overlook me being short and Indian.

[IndianBabu]

That's why I was complaining before IndianBabu, for being short and Indian and it being a double whammy.

 

But I guess as has been said many times, there's nothing I can do except maximize in other aspects of myself and keep putting myself out there until a girl is willing to overlook me being short and Indian.

 

I was kidding in my post. I thought it was pretty obvious.

 

Being short or Indian or whatever is only a disability if you let it become one.

[xxoo]

I never claimed to be THAT nice lol

 

You could not love a woman with a physical disability?

 

Why not?

 

To be clear, I'm not saying you should SEEK a woman with a disability, but why is unreasonable to consider a woman with a physical disability?

[R3d]

I don't know. After almost 6 months of reassurance and validation from tons of forums and even friends in real life that being short and Indian won't be much of a hindrance, I think the problem is that I still feel so out of place at school, especially when I see those tall white dudes that are so confident and have no problems attracting girls. Like I know we have been over this a million times and I accept that I can still make it in dating, but I still have that "feeling" of insecurity and out-of-placeness which seems to revive whenever I am in school. It is NOT the rejection in and of itself that is fueling my feelings of insecurity. I can take rejection like it's nothing, unless it's a long-term crush that I have been fantasuzing about in my bedroom - getting rejected there leaves me slighly unhappy for a couple days. The high school environment is what fuels my insecurity, I suspect. And the media (though I hardly watch TV and movies, in the rare cases I do, it makes me feel insecure).

 

So at this point, it's not about convincing me that being short and Indian won't knock me out of the dating scene, anymore. It's about those general feelings of inferiority to tall white dudes I still have inside when present in high school, which isn't logical.

 

EDIT: Insecurity can stink in that some people don't take action in life and use it as an excuse not to. I am not doing THAT - like I do ask girls out and put myself out there and push myself out of my comfort zone. It's just that I often still feel inferior on the inside and almost as if I don't belong at school because of it.

Edited September 9, 2014 by R3d

[Candy_Pants]

You could not love a woman with a physical disability?

 

Why not?

 

To be clear, I'm not saying you should SEEK a woman with a disability, but why is unreasonable to consider a woman with a physical disability?

 

Gotta say, all the men I know/have dated in wheelchairs have attitudes that are INCREDIBLY more attractive than the short guys bitching in this thread.

[R3d]

Like you said IndianBabu, it is easier to blame things out of your control instead of working hard and improving yourself. Thing is I AM doing the latter and not giving up, but I still feel insecure on the inside as I described in my last post.

Edited September 9, 2014 by R3d

[thefooloftheyear]

Look....

 

What some of you are failing to understand is that while its pretty much understood that each gender has those that do better with the opposite than others..Heck, I always wanted to play pro football and I cant..

 

Who friggin' cares?

 

Its not like you have seven dicks and can clone yourself...How many women does any guy really need in one lifetime?

 

Focus on making yourself the best you can possibly be...Trust me, with billions of women on the planet, the odds are still in your favor that more than one in one's lifetime will find you to be the best thing since sliced bread..

 

Stop focusing on other people..

 

 

TFY

[PJKino]

You could not love a woman with a physical disability?

 

Why not?

 

To be clear, I'm not saying you should SEEK a woman with a disability, but why is unreasonable to consider a woman with a physical disability?

 

Because I'm a visual person I need to be attracted physically somewhat..I know people on here think short men should take whatever they can get but sorry I couldn't do it

[Candy_Pants]

Because I'm a visual person I need to be attracted physically somewhat..I know people on here think short men should take whatever they can get but sorry I couldn't do it

 

I certainly don't advocate "taking whatever you can get". First of all, how disrespectful to that other person!! And secondly, everyone should take their best shot at happiness.

 

But, like you said, you need to be attracted to the person physically. That's all the women who prefer taller men are saying. They are attracted to taller men. Some things trump height. Like, attitude!!! The shorter men in this thread who have great attitudes are also not hurting for dates.

 

Might be a chicken-or-the-egg scenario, but damn!! At least be willing to put down that baggage and give positivity a (real) chance!!

[PJKino]

I certainly don't advocate "taking whatever you can get". First of all, how disrespectful to that other person!! And secondly, everyone should take their best shot at happiness.

 

But, like you said, you need to be attracted to the person physically. That's all the women who prefer taller men are saying. They are attracted to taller men. Some things trump height. Like, attitude!!! The shorter men in this thread who have great attitudes are also not hurting for dates.

 

Might be a chicken-or-the-egg scenario, but damn!! At least be willing to put down that baggage and give positivity a (real) chance!!

 

When you've had no sucess in the dating world it's hard to be blindly positive about it but I just use this place to vent anyone who knows me in real life knows I'm a pretty laid back happy person that's not holding me back my looks and height are what's holding me back

Edited September 9, 2014 by PJKino

[somedude81]

Gotta say, all the men I know/have dated in wheelchairs have attitudes that are INCREDIBLY more attractive than the short guys bitching in this thread.

 

Oh, so you've heard/read what those guys have said when you weren't around?

[somedude81]

When you've had no sucess in the dating world it's hard to be blindly positive about it but I just use this place to vent anyone who knows me in real life knows I'm a pretty laid back happy person that's not holding me back my looks and height are what's holding me back

 

Yeah that is really weird.

 

A guy who is happy go lucky when he has done nothing but fail with women for thirty years is most likely insane.

 

Very few people are happy being single against their will for an extended period of time.

[xxoo]

Because I'm a visual person I need to be attracted physically somewhat..I know people on here think short men should take whatever they can get but sorry I couldn't do it

 

You exclude based on appearance alone (regardless of how sexy a person she may actually be), therefore you attribute women's disinterest to be based on appearance alone.

 

When actually you are probably incorrect about that. It is more likely your attitude that is repelling women.

[PJKino]

You exclude based on appearance alone (regardless of how sexy a person she may actually be), therefore you attribute women's disinterest to be based on appearance alone.

 

When actually you are probably incorrect about that. It is more likely your attitude that is repelling women.

 

Nope I'm a pretty positive good hearted person I just use this place to vent..

 

Women fawn over my good looking friend and when I try to talk to them I get dirty looks women judge on looks just as much as men do

[Imajerk17]

I never claimed to be THAT nice lol

 

I already knew you weren't. See, you and the other Short Man's Union members actually have a lot in common with the "shallow" women you keep griping about, the women who (you claim) are overlooking you because of your height. Physical attraction is important to all of you. The difference between the "Nicest" Guys on LS and the women though, is that many of the women can see past looks and height.

 

I keep saying this but I wonder what you and the other Short Man's Union members have actually done to get dates. Coming on here and whining about how tough you have it doesn't cut it. As mentioned, confidence and proactivity count for a lot. Neither does going out only with your hot natural friend who naturally steals the attention either. If you aren't trying different things you really aren't putting yourself out there. I tell the women who gripe on here the same thing.

 

EDIT: If this site got a dollar for everyone who said "I'm a happy person in real life my attitude here doesn't carry over I swear" it would be rich. No need for any ads

Edited September 9, 2014 by Imajerk17

[xxoo]

Women fawn over my good looking friend and when I try to talk to them I get dirty looks women judge on looks just as much as men do

 

I have no doubt women like your good looking friend.

 

But you never notice all the not-so-great looking guys who get lots of attention from women because of other qualities. It's a confirmation bias.

[PJKino]

I already knew you weren't. See, you and the other Short Man's Union members actually have a lot in common with the "shallow" women you keep griping about, the women who (you claim) are overlooking you because of your height. Physical attraction is important to all of you. The difference between the "Nicest" Guys on LS and the women though, is that many of the women can see past looks and height.

 

I keep saying this but I wonder what you and the other Short Man's Union members have actually done to get dates. Coming on here and whining about how tough you have it doesn't cut it. As mentioned, confidence and proactivity count for a lot. Neither does going out only with your hot natural friend who naturally steals the attention either. If you aren't trying different things you really aren't putting yourself out there. I tell the women who gripe on here the same thing.

 

EDIT: If this site got a dollar for everyone who said "I'm a happy person in real life my attitude here doesn't carry over I swear" it would be rich. No need for any ads

 

I disagree that women are anymore forgiving on looks then men..the women who do look past looks and height probably have to because they can't get tall good looking men..

 

I never had a problem with height preferences more of my problem has been women trying to convince us that men are much more shallow which is nonsense..

 

As far as your last line I couldn't care less what you think but if I was miserable all the time I'd have no problem saying it but it's not the case..

[PJKino]

I have no doubt women like your good looking friend.

 

But you never notice all the not-so-great looking guys who get lots of attention from women because of other qualities. It's a confirmation bias.

 

Oh please ls is the land of women claiming how many unattractive or average looking men have women all over them lol

 

Women are every bit as shallow and into looks as men let's stop the bs..I see how creepy most of u act around good looking men even married ladies

[xxoo]

I disagree that women are anymore forgiving on looks then men..the women who do look past looks and height probably have to because they can't get tall good looking men..

 

You keep believing that.

 

I'll keep making my non-tall man very, very happy