Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[organizedchaos]

You have a larger pool of women to choose from. Anyone from your height to below 5 feet will date you. While I have dated women taller than me in the past, it is not common. Thus, I have far less options than you do (unless you have some other major negative about you).

 

My point is that I will never be considered a catch, while you very well can be. And you have a far better chance at OLD than I do simply because of our difference in height.

 

The reason for that is not because of your height. It's because of your attitude.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Being tall does not make you a chick magnet, no.

 

I know guys who are around 6 foot who struggle. Physical attractiveness is still a factor in their struggle, but I digress.

 

Women like what they like. I never ask why I get rejected, I just soldier on.

 

That said, if you want to make the world a better place, I recommend you (reading this) or you who have friends who are always spouting off about a non-preference for short men not say it in front of short men.

 

Here are some of the things I have heard quite often, by women I know well in most cases:

 

"No, SHE doesn't prefer tall men. ALL women prefer tall men."

 

"He's not too tall."

 

"At least taller than me."

 

And these were often said to me (in a crowd) where in that situation I was as short or shorter than the man in question.

 

Ya know, as long as we're talking about attitude, isn't it bad attitude to say such things in front of short guys? As a short guy, if I hear it said to my face, then you MUST hear it.

Edited October 31, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Cristo]

The reason for that is not because of your height. It's because of your attitude.

 

No it's not. I used to have a good attitude. I did as well with women as I do now, but I was never considered a catch. I always had to work for it and it felt like most women were just giving me a chance, as opposed valuing me as someone desirable.

 

I've dated women that rejected me, only to come around a few months later and be interested in me. If I was a catch, they would have liked me immediately.

 

I have tall friends that women are constantly interested in and their female friends try to hook them up. No one hooks me up unless I really push for it and almost no one considers me attractive initially (despite the fact that I'm outgoing, while my tall friend is not).

 

So I have plenty of evidence in my life that no matter what I do, I will not be considered a catch, based on things that are out of my control.

 

That's not to say that I can't attract women (I can), but I will rarely have any woman interested in me from the start or that will notice me without me doing anything or that will not make me put in a lot of work for it. My tall friends are different. They get things handed to them. I've seen it.

[Cristo]

Being tall does not make you a chick magnet, no.

 

I know guys who are around 6 foot who struggle. Physical attractiveness is still a factor in their struggle, but I digress.

 

Women like what they like. I never ask why I get rejected, I just soldier on.

 

That said, if you want to make the world a better place, I recommend you (reading this) or you who have friends who are always spouting off about a non-preference for short men not say it in front of short men.

 

Here are some of the things I have heard quite often, by women I know well in most cases:

 

"No, SHE doesn't prefer tall men. ALL women prefer tall men."

 

"He's not too tall."

 

"At least taller than me."

 

And these were often said to me (in a crowd) where in that situation I was as short or shorter than the man in question.

 

Ya know, as long as we're talking about attitude, isn't it bad attitude to say such things in front of short guys? As a short guy, if I hear it said to my face, then you MUST hear it.

 

People that are not short men do not understand what it's like to be one and do not understand the bias against us. There's really no point in even explaining it to them because they will never get it (which is odd, since most women responding to this thread likely "prefer" tall men, just like every other woman in the world).

[PJKino]

I always hear women talk about they hope their baby is tall as if that's as important as being healthy or anything else

 

Being tall is hugely ingrained in women as a gold standard for a man

[lollipopspot]

Ya know, as long as we're talking about attitude, isn't it bad attitude to say such things in front of short guys? As a short guy, if I hear it said to my face, then you MUST hear it.

 

I agree - it's rude. But it's the same thing for fat ladies - you hear all the time about how unappealing fat women are as partners.

 

The point being that yes, people can be insensitive jerks, but you need to try to put a buffer between them and your own self esteem.

 

"Someone who thinks that way or has that preference isn't for me."

[JuneJulySeptember]

I agree - it's rude. But it's the same thing for fat ladies - you hear all the time about how unappealing fat women are as partners.

 

The point being that yes, people can be insensitive jerks, but you need to try to put a buffer between them and your own self esteem.

 

"Someone who thinks that way or has that preference isn't for me."

 

You'd be surprised. Some of the people who have made such comments I consider good friends and very socially adept people.

 

It's weird. It's almost like they take a jab at short guys but don't see me as a short guy. Or don't realize that I am because it's too late.

 

For the record, I don't really care about that too much. I'm just pointing out how short guys get that block in their head.

Edited October 31, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Cristo]

You'd be surprised. Some of the people who have made such comments I consider good friends and very socially adept people.

 

It's weird. It's almost like they take a jab at short guys but don't see me as a short guy. Or don't realize that I am because it's too late.

 

For the record, I don't really care about that too much. I'm just pointing out how short guys get that block in their head.

 

This has actually happened to me in the past too. Makes me wonder if they just don't realize that I'm short or don't care.

[thefooloftheyear]

How tall are you? Do you have trouble dating?

 

 

i'm like 5'6" and have a questionable personality....That said, I've always had women around...Including most that were way above average in looks/quality and better than most of my taller buddies..

 

Sorry...You arent gonna convince anyone...its a crutch for those that have nothing else going on in their lives..

 

TFY

[lollipopspot]

i'm like 5'6" and have a questionable personality....That said, I've always had women around...Including most that were way above average in looks/quality and better than most of my taller buddies.

 

I think why it works for you is that you seem confident and don't let yourself believe that height is a handicap for you.

[JuneJulySeptember]

i'm like 5'6" and have a questionable personality....That said, I've always had women around...Including most that were way above average in looks/quality and better than most of my taller buddies..

 

Sorry...You arent gonna convince anyone...its a crutch for those that have nothing else going on in their lives..

 

TFY

 

He didn't say he couldn't get women.

 

He just said that it's a disadvantage. That's all any of us are saying.

 

If a medically obese or disfigured woman told me of her troubles with men, I wouldn't tell her to "Shut up honey, you're making it up, you just have nothing else going on in your life."

[Cristo]

i'm like 5'6" and have a questionable personality....That said, I've always had women around...Including most that were way above average in looks/quality and better than most of my taller buddies..

 

Sorry...You arent gonna convince anyone...its a crutch for those that have nothing else going on in their lives..

 

TFY

 

Sorry, but I have a lot going on in my life. I am no loser by any means (either financially or socially). If you don't acknowledge how much of a problem short stature is, then you are either lying to yourself or have been extremely lucky to not experience such discrimination.

 

Either way, you are in an enviable position from where I stand.

[thefooloftheyear]

I think why it works for you is that you seem confident and don't let yourself believe that height is a handicap for you.

 

 

Nah....Im just one sexy mo-fo.....

 

 

All kidding aside...You may be right..I mean, the question these guys need to ask themselves is how(practically) does height negatively affect their lives.? It cant...Its not like being blind, mentally retarded, or in a wheelchair...But the way these guys look at it, it may as well be...which is ridiculous..Other than maybe change a lightbulb without the use of a step ladder, there is absolutely nothing being shorter that constitutes a practical handicap..

 

The world is full of successful shorter guys...Successful in life, dating, career, whatever...And there are just as many tall dufuses..You dont need to shoot lightning out of your ass if your shorter..Just be the best you can..

 

Are there women who immediately discount a shorter guy? I think there is more that say they would, but actually if the right situation presented itself, then they would go shorter.. If there are some left where its a dealbreaker, who cares about them? Even the most successful guy as far as dating goes, is only going to sample .00000000001% of the female population...Im sure anyone can find what they want..

 

These guys act like they are on a deserted island somewhere, where 1,000 men are fighting for one woman...

 

TFY

[Cristo]

He didn't say he couldn't get women.

 

He just said that it's a disadvantage. That's all any of us are saying.

 

If a medically obese or disfigured woman told me of her troubles with men, I wouldn't tell her to "Shut up honey, you're making it up, you just have nothing else going on in your life."

 

Yes, this is correct.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I think why it works for you is that you seem confident and don't let yourself believe that height is a handicap for you.

 

Do you think confidence and attitude was what attracted 100+ men to a woman with a big booty walking down a street for 10 hours?

[thefooloftheyear]

He didn't say he couldn't get women.

 

He just said that it's a disadvantage. That's all any of us are saying.

 

If a medically obese or disfigured woman told me of her troubles with men, I wouldn't tell her to "Shut up honey, you're making it up, you just have nothing else going on in your life."

 

 

Well, then how is it not a disadvantage for me??? All the guys in my family are pretty short....And all have had no problem with attracting women..I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you guys do..

 

I am totally happy with my height and wouldnt trade for 6'3" for all the tea in China...Zero need to...

 

To compare short with being obese or disfiguired is just ignorant and a disrespect to all who are truly disadvantaged with a true handicap..

 

Think about it, man....Its silly

 

TFY

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well, then how is it not a disadvantage for me??? All the guys in my family are pretty short....And all have had no problem with attracting women..I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you guys do..

 

I am totally happy with my height and wouldnt trade for 6'3" for all the tea in China...Zero need to...

 

To compare short with being obese or disfiguired is just ignorant and a disrespect to all who are truly disadvantaged with a true handicap..

 

Think about it, man....Its silly

 

TFY

 

It is a disadvantage. You just refuse to admit it.

 

There's different ways of looking at things in life.

 

Your way is "I'm the sh@t and I'm the best no matter what anybody says." Apparently, a lot of people adore that attitude. But that's not me.

 

I have faults, I see them, accept them and wish to date someone who also has faults and sees them.

 

I don't want to be the short guy dating the best looking women because I don't want the best looking women and I CERTAINLY don't want a woman who thinks she's the best looking woman.

 

Different strokes.

[Cristo]

It is a disadvantage. You just refuse to admit it.

 

There's different ways of looking at things in life.

 

Your way is "I'm the sh@t and I'm the best no matter what anybody says." Apparently, a lot of people adore that attitude. But that's not me.

 

I have faults, I see them, accept them and wish to date someone who also has faults and sees them.

 

I don't want to be the short guy dating the best looking women because I don't want the best looking women and I CERTAINLY don't want a woman who thinks she's the best looking woman.

 

Different strokes.

 

Yes, I would never date an extremely attractive woman. I would be nervous that she would leave me for a taller, better looking guy.

 

Personally, I absolutely would trade my height for 6'3. No question about it.

[lollipopspot]

I don't want to be the short guy dating the best looking women because I don't want the best looking women and I CERTAINLY don't want a woman who thinks she's the best looking woman.

 

Well then you'd date someone like me. I'm not the best looking woman, I don't think I'm the best looking woman, and I don't care if someone is 5'6".

 

If you don't want someone who is highly appearance-motivated, then the problem is solved.

[lollipopspot]

Personally, I absolutely would trade my height for 6'3. No question about it.

 

I've dated someone taller than that, and I am dating some 5'6". I was no more attracted to the 6'+ guy than to the 5'6" guy.

[thefooloftheyear]

It is a disadvantage. You just refuse to admit it.

 

There's different ways of looking at things in life.

 

Your way is "I'm the sh@t and I'm the best no matter what anybody says." Apparently, a lot of people adore that attitude. But that's not me.

 

I have faults, I see them, accept them and wish to date someone who also has faults and sees them.

 

I don't want to be the short guy dating the best looking women because I don't want the best looking women and I CERTAINLY don't want a woman who thinks she's the best looking woman.

 

Different strokes.

 

Im sorry..I still say you arent seeing this...

 

Im not without faults...heck, go back to the first post...I admitted I dont have a good personality..>I mean, im kind, generous, respectful to those that deserve it, and a devoted dad...etc...But we ALL have faults...

 

Im not going to admit anything...No doors have ever been closed for me because of my height....None...If they closed, it was because of something else...And there are many things I am thankful for because I am shorter..Many of these things I couldnt even do if I was tall..

 

I can attract women...some good looking and some who are average....I dont seek good looking women, but its often just worked out that way..

 

Yes, I am proud of my accomplishments in life, but cocky Id never be accused of...ever..

 

Im just reporting...you can decide whatever you want to...

 

TFY

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well then you'd date someone like me. I'm not the best looking woman, I don't think I'm the best looking woman, and I don't care if someone is 5'6".

 

If you don't want someone who is highly appearance-motivated, then the problem is solved.

 

I have had women before so I know that short guys can get women. And I'm a tad shorter than that.

 

Apparently, extreme and utter confidence is very appealing to most people. I'm really starting to see that though for the longest time I questioned it.

 

That's not me though. I was raised in a completely different culture. I want a humble and vulnerable woman.

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

No doors have ever been closed for me because of my height....None...If they closed, it was because of something else...And there are many things I am thankful for because I am shorter..Many of these things I couldnt even do if I was tall..

 

 

That's almost blind confidence.

 

Something more along the median would be "Being short is a disadvantage sure, but I make do."

 

And then the extreme would be like "All guys under 5'8.5" need to be model handsome or rich to get laid." Which I have seen said.

 

I mean, I don't really see what's so weird and unattractive about the median.

[MidwestUSA]

i'm like 5'6" and have a questionable personality....That said, I've always had women around...Including most that were way above average in looks/quality and better than most of my taller buddies..

 

Sorry...You arent gonna convince anyone...its a crutch for those that have nothing else going on in their lives..

 

TFY

 

It's probably the questionable personality. We wimmenz love a mystery, and love to start thinking immediately of how we can change you.

 

I dated a 5'6" guy. Had everything going for him. Didn't even think of him as 'short', until one day he slipped and let his insecurity about it show.

 

I was falling, falling, falling, and then, he DUMPED me! The nerve. Three months later, I was still calling him and begging for another shot, making a complete idiot of myself. (Out of character for me, if you couldn't guess )

[GemmaUK]

5' 6" is tall!

 

I'm 5' and half an inch....