Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[Imported]

OP, what I think is ridiculous is your thread asking why someone prefers what they prefer. That is basically what you're asking. I mean, why do you even have to think about it? And why if they don't prefer you, than they must be shallow.

 

How about if they don't like a guy because of his anger issues which is a result of how he was raised? Or because the guy grew up poor, works a dead end job and no matter what will never do better because of his situation? Sometimes you really cant dig yourself out of the holes you were born in. Seriously, no education, no connections, no skill, this will be who you are for the rest of your life. Hell, some short guy with money has a better chance of being tall than some guys growing up in a world of **** has of being a 'normal' and productive member of society. What about them? Is it shallow for women to not choose them?

 

Nobody owes you anything, not even a "fair" chance. Get over it. Just because you want xx girl does not mean she has to entertain your ego.

 

Also, I am totally not into girls taller than me in heels that are of practical height. I don't care if they are otherwise attractive.

[xxoo]

But it seems like to me from what you said that a short guy has to put in more effort for you to be as attracted to them as a taller guy. Which means you'd prefer a tall guy over a short one.

 

I just want a sexy one. The sexiest guy to me happens not to be tall, but sheesh, you should see his shoulders and forearms!

 

I do want a guy who puts in effort! I put in effort. Who wants a lazy partner?

[evanescentworld]

Fair enough. And you keep implying I think every woman is like this. From the thread topic title alone it should be obvious to you I know not every woman cares about height, but a lot do.

And it's obvious you resent it.

 

Some women have certain preferences, some men have certain preferences.

Life is what it is, and you seem to think that if you're short you're losing out.

Well you're not losing out because some women are shallow, you're losing out because of personal preference, and that's your problem not theirs, because you take it as a personal affront that they don't want to date you, because you're short.

And so am I.

So what?

 

IN all my life I've had 6 partners.

My H has had considerably more than I.

Why?

I don't know.

And you know what?

I don't really care.

 

Like I said, your persistence is unnecessary. It's not others you need to look to, for this rationale of yours.

It's you.

[preraph]

But what I'm getting at here what if the guy hypothetically has great looking facial aesthetics, fit body, has a great career, & great personality. Why is height so important in that situation? It's just shallow if you ask me due to not having any control over it at all. You can change your hair, breasts, physical appearance in terms of how fat/skinny/fit you are. But height is what you have no control over.

 

It's not all women who are like that. I'm not like that. I had crushes on and bfs as short or shorter than me who I thought were really good looking. The alpha male in our big gang when I was young, our music crowd, was my height. Most of his girlfriends were a foot taller. But for the girls who just aren't attracted to short guys, there's nothing you can say that will change that. Like I am not attracted to real preppy looking guys with real short hair or football player guys but a whole lot of women are. Yes, a lot of women prefer tall, but they don't all require it. It's no different than men who ONLY want a woman with big boobs because they're just turned off by women without big boobs. Or guys who have to have a woman with an hourglass shape. And honestly, there's more men who HAVE to have a petite woman than there are women who have to have a tall man, I think.

[mr.blond]

im only 5'9 on a good day but i never had any problem with the lady's. But that was back when I had game, I was younger and before my soul was completely destroyed by some one I really loved. now im phuket

[littleblackheart]

You don't have a say in the race you were born either - doesn't stop people having dating preferences on that score also.

 

 

For your information: Are women more attracted to tall men? - Telegraph

 

 

Apparently this is just reproducing gender stereotypes: taller men = figures of authority, higher reproductive success, higher status.

 

 

From another reliable source: 86% of all statistics are made up on the spot

[me85]

Just because I prefer tall men (I'm talking 6'4" / 6'6") and just because that's mostly all I've ever dated, doesn't mean that's all I've had or that I'd be against going out with someone not nearly as tall.

 

But yes, I do examine a guy's height right away. Sorry. /=

[NJ123]

OP, what I think is ridiculous is your thread asking why someone prefers what they prefer. That is basically what you're asking. I mean, why do you even have to think about it? And why if they don't prefer you, than they must be shallow.

 

How about if they don't like a guy because of his anger issues which is a result of how he was raised? Or because the guy grew up poor, works a dead end job and no matter what will never do better because of his situation? Sometimes you really cant dig yourself out of the holes you were born in. Seriously, no education, no connections, no skill, this will be who you are for the rest of your life. Hell, some short guy with money has a better chance of being tall than some guys growing up in a world of **** has of being a 'normal' and productive member of society. What about them? Is it shallow for women to not choose them?

 

Nobody owes you anything, not even a "fair" chance. Get over it. Just because you want xx girl does not mean she has to entertain your ego.

 

Also, I am totally not into girls taller than me in heels that are of practical height. I don't care if they are otherwise attractive.

 

But what I was getting at mainly is why prefer something in someone that they have absolutely no control over. That's why it feels really shallow to me. You can work on your education, work on your anger issues, work out of getting out of debt, work on getting a better job, work on getting better skills in things. Every single one of those things you mentioned you can change. But you can't change your height.

 

And who ever said I was owed anything. I know no one owes me anything, but I made the thread trying to find out why I hear time & time again about a lot of women preferring tall guys & overlooking shorter guys.

[sillyanswer]

I do want a guy who puts in effort! I put in effort. Who wants a lazy partner?

 

The shorter guys should stop being lazy and go out and buy some cuban heels, right?

[evanescentworld]

... I made the thread trying to find out why I hear time & time again about a lot of women preferring tall guys & overlooking shorter guys.

 

Why exactly is this so important to you?

[NJ123]

Just because I prefer tall men (I'm talking 6'4" / 6'6") and just because that's mostly all I've ever dated, doesn't mean that's all I've had or that I'd be against going out with someone not nearly as tall.

 

But yes, I do examine a guy's height right away. Sorry. /=

 

Well, at least your honest about it.

[NJ123]

Why exactly is this so important to you?

 

Because I wanted to understand why someone would prefer something in someone you have no control over like I've said a few times before.

[GorillaTheater]

Because I wanted to understand why someone would prefer something in someone you have no control over like I've said a few times before.

 

The problem is that you're asking questions about attraction, which people also don't have much or any control over.

[xxoo]

But what I was getting at mainly is why prefer something in someone that they have absolutely no control over. That's why it feels really shallow to me. You can work on your education, work on your anger issues, work out of getting out of debt, work on getting a better job, work on getting better skills in things. Every single one of those things you mentioned you can change. But you can't change your height.

 

And who ever said I was owed anything. I know no one owes me anything, but I made the thread trying to find out why I hear time & time again about a lot of women preferring tall guys & overlooking shorter guys.

 

Do you really not understand why tall is attractive?

 

It's masculine. Men are generally taller than women. Men are taller than boys. It's a visual sign of masculinity and physical maturity.

[sillyanswer]

Because I wanted to understand why someone would prefer something in someone you have no control over like I've said a few times before.

 

That's an interesting perspective. I doubt that "because they have no control over it" is a reason why it's attractive to the other person. I'd like to date a redhead (a real one) sometime... but her having no choice in the matter of being a natural redhead isn't what makes it attractive to me.

[sillyanswer]

The problem is that you're asking questions about attraction, which people also don't have much or any control over.

 

That's a good point, GorillaTheater. Attraction isn't logical or, necessarily, fair. It just is.

[NJ123]

The problem is that you're asking questions about attraction, which people also don't have much or any control over.

 

Somewhat true, but you can still change your appearance to become more attractive to more people. You can get a better hairstyle, grow a beard, work out to get in better shape, etc.

[Maleficent]

Just because I prefer tall men (I'm talking 6'4" / 6'6") and just because that's mostly all I've ever dated, doesn't mean that's all I've had or that I'd be against going out with someone not nearly as tall.

 

But yes, I do examine a guy's height right away. Sorry. /=

 

There is a fine line a lot of people don't understand...

You can prefer taller guys. However, if you were to meet a guy who is shorter (say 5'6-5'7) and he was just perfect for you, you would still date him.

 

Being shallow would be to turn down the perfect-for-you guy because he is too small for you taste.

 

You know, if Ryan Gosling was 5'3 (which is my height) I'd still date him

lol

[NJ123]

Do you really not understand why tall is attractive?

 

It's masculine. Men are generally taller than women. Men are taller than boys. It's a visual sign of masculinity and physical maturity.

 

But it's still considered shallow in my opinion if someone only prefers taller guys. Not saying you are personally since it seems you would happily date a shorter guy even though it's obvious you prefer taller guys.

[johan]

Not being attracted to someone isn't "holding something against them". I'm not attracted to tall women. It's not a criticism. They shouldn't take it personally.

 

Maybe the question is why do short guys take it personally when a woman isn't attracted to them?

 

The fact that I'm not attracted to tall women doesn't mean they aren't actually attractive. It doesn't mean it's hopeless for them. If they thought either of those things I would say that is their biggest problem, much worse than just being tall.

 

You aren't obligated to agree with someone who thinks you're unattractive. If you think they think you're inferior you don't have to agree. They have as much power over you as you give them.

[NJ123]

There is a fine line a lot of people don't understand...

You can prefer taller guys. However, if you were to meet a guy who is shorter (say 5'6-5'7) and he was just perfect for you, you would still date him.

 

Being shallow would be to turn down the perfect-for-you guy because he is too small for you taste.

 

You know, if Ryan Gosling was 5'3 (which is my height) I'd still date him

lol

 

Yeah, because he's rich & famous is why you'd have no problems dating him lol.

[me85]

Yeah, because he's rich & famous is why you'd have no problems dating him lol.

 

No, because he's oh so yummy!!!

[NJ123]

Not being attracted to someone isn't "holding something against them". I'm not attracted to tall women. It's not a criticism. They shouldn't take it personally.

 

Maybe the question is why do short guys take it personally when a woman isn't attracted to them?

 

The fact that I'm not attracted to tall women doesn't mean they aren't actually attractive. It doesn't mean it's hopeless for them. If they thought either of those things I would say that is their biggest problem, much worse than just being tall.

 

You aren't obligated to agree with someone who thinks you're unattractive. If you think they think you're inferior you don't have to agree. They have as much power over you as you give them.

 

I find taller women attractive, but I know realistically I'd never have a chance with a woman that's like 5'11" or 6". Like I said in an earlier post, I understand in those situations where a tall woman prefers only tall guys. Can't blame them for that.

[NJ123]

No, because he's oh so yummy!!!

 

lol you were the one that just said you examine someone's height right away. Now all of a sudden your implying you'd date him even if he was 5'3". Sure it's not about the money & fame.....

[sillyanswer]

But it's still considered shallow in my opinion if someone only prefers taller guys.

 

Well, that's your opinion. I think you're probably right, too, but what of it? Is there a consequence for these shallow people? I've come across equally shallow women who won't date me because I'm too tall.